《I am.》Chapter 2: Means to feel.
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Chapter 2
Go foraging she said.
It would be fun she said.
Mother, I think my idea of fun is very different to yours. As shocking as it may seem, I don’t enjoy getting chased by overgrown cats. Nor do I like getting stoned until I fall from a height which is easily multiple times the height of our home. Now I’m here. Wherever here is. At least I’m not completely numb anymore. There’s that at least.
I don’t know where the hell that wall... door? Led. Neither the answer to the riddle. I am sure of one thing though. Nobody has lived in this place for a very long time. At least I can breathe. However, that also means I have to suffer from inhaling Dust every time - something I’m pretty sure is not healthy. I have a idea though. Have I still got my cloth wrapped around my neck? I do indeed. My thought is that a mask should be able to prevent me from breathing the Dust, much the same way as with the Vibrana seeds. I pull the cloth up to my nose and breathe. It seems my makeshift filter works.
This place is incredibly eerie. I cannot see anything at all except pure overwhelming Darkness. It doesn’t even appear my eyes can adjust to this one. Everything just remains shrouded by a thick cloak of matt-black. Other than the cloth my nose doesn’t smell anything. My ears haven’t picked anything up apart from that noise earlier either. While on that topic, which direction did it come from? While it seemed to come from my right it also came from my left. Even from above. The sound had come from everywhere at once. Almost as if the Darkness itself is speaking. This place is creeping me out. Perhaps the weirdest thing of all though is the floor though. Despite resting on it, I don’t feel anything. It’s as if no floor exists, but instead I’m simply suspended in nothingness. A very peculiar feeling may I say.
Can I stand? “Agh!” God, that was a bad idea. Now I’m even more conscious of the pain in my legs than I was before. However, it certainly isn’t as sore as it was earlier. It seems I have some hope after all. I have no choice but to rest here I guess. There may be no floor, but at least the stench of blood is gone.
...
“Such a saga is seldom taught,
Bless his name,
The one who to his death – fought.
The man whose luck they thought ran out,
His life a mess,
Each step fogged by doubt.
Yet this very man stood up so tall,
Stood up to the ones who thought he’d fall.
The blood of many paint his path,
How many you ask?
Only he knows.
A cold man was he,
The man who could pass a storm,
Yet calm a raging sea.”
This song never grows old on the ears. A tale of a knight from the west who had gone mad from the guilt of his King’s actions. So enraged by the acts he was given under the illusion of it benefiting his kingdom, but instead only for the King’s personal profit, was he. The result? Poetic justice. The king’s own sword took his head. Leaving the kingdom to fend for itself, the knight embarked on a pilgrimage. One which took him wide and far across the entirety of the continent. Constantly haunted by the guilt of his actions wherever he went. Actions which should have never taken place. He wished for redemption. He longed for forgiveness. He cried to the world and after many long years... the world heard him. His forgiveness came in the form of self-worth. He came to love. When saving a village in the area - oh there’s a song for that as well don’t worry - he found the woman of his dreams: one which looked past all the walls he’d built up around his heart, one which saw what lay beneath, one who fell in love. His price paid, the knight settled down with her and they lived happily ever after. You would think it to be a fairy tale, if not for the kingdom which now lies in that village’s place. Iramoore. That small village overcame all odds and became one of the most well renown kingdoms across the continent. If not the world.
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That story really makes you think doesn’t it. It has been my favourite from when I was a child. Whenever I ask the travellers who visit our village of ‘Iramoore’ they speak of impossibly large towers of staggeringly pure white, golden bountiful harvests and happiness. Happiness among each inhabitant, no matter of social standing. The descriptions match with the fairy tale behind it doesn’t it?
I’ve always loved stories. Both Isaac and I. I never really described him properly did I? He was my twin brother. One whom I loved very much, although I failed to show it much. As I’ve previously said – I’m stubborn. If I were to compare the two of us. The only difference would be... well... our personalities. We were identical twins after all. Isaac was much more of a rule keeper. He would follow my mother’s every instruction which led him to become, in my opinion, the favourite. I on the other hand, was quite the opposite. I was very much a rule-breaker. My brother’s attitude would annoy me so I performed a lot of reckless acts to gain my mother’s attention. This one time I found and ate a mushroom, which turned out to be a manstraggler – A highly toxic species of forest shroom. Little surprise, I was bed-ridden for weeks. Although it certainly did gain the attention of my mother at least.
Eventually it got to the point I couldn’t cope with how my brother acted. Therefore I decided to take him on a little adventure. Of course, mother thought we went foraging.
“Agh-URg” Breathing in that dust earlier didn’t seem to agree with me.
Back to the story. So lsaac and I both left, with me keeping my eye out for something to get our heart racing. Oh and did I find something thrilling. A cliff face. As a veteran rock climber, I taught Isaac the ropes. After convincing him of there being some rare plant awaiting us at the top and that there was no path around, we began to climb. Nearing the top, the unimaginable happened. Or predictable depending on your viewpoint. Isaac’s hand hold crumbled.. Desperately, I reach my hand out in hope of latching on to him. I manage. However, the rock I was holding onto began to crack under the weight. Isaac noticed of course. Just like he did with everything.
“Look after mum”
Was all I heard before he let go. It was the first time I’d ever seen so much blood or cried so much for that matter. I seldom cried as a child. I returned home holding the body of my dear brother. Dead. Mother was devastated and it was then that I vowed to myself to take over my brother’s mantle. If one twin could do it then why couldn’t the other after all. Nothing really prepares you for it though. The loss of a loved one. My brother. My best friend.
And then here we are. Five whole years later. Time flies doesn’t it?
The songs help me escape; the stories distract my mind. Now you’ve heard my story. Not as gripping or extravagant as Iramoore’s, but a story nevertheless.
It seems the pain has eased in my legs and this time I manage to stand. I begin with a stroll but soon realise that this place is far more peculiar than I initially thought. If I intend to go up, it feels as if I’m climbing a set of stairs. Meanwhile it feels as if I’m descending it, if I want to go downwards. Just how does this place work?
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The real question though is ‘does it end?’ No matter how far or how long I walk nothing changes. Not even swirling among the Darkness. No shimmering. Nothing.
I wonder how mother’s doing. No doubt she’s panicking. The last time I was out this long was with Isaac and we all know what happened then. Is it dark outside? Has the day ended? In that case, has the sun risen?
How long have I been here?
Is there even a point to walking anymore? Just for there to be more Darkness?
Maybe I’m dead. Maybe I died while reading that riddle. Or perhaps I died when I fell and this is the after-life. I know I asked for a change in scenery but surely this is exaggerating things right? It’s almost as if I’m in another world! Which would make sense if I died I guess.
“With disaster,
Come the angel’s cries.
The melodies of mourning,
The sun fogged black with its rise.
It’s all dying,
All we know.
Day has become a foreign concept,
The Darkness grips their hearts.
Eternity”
How do you like it? I wrote it myself. You loved it? Wow, thank you! I was inspired by all this wonderful Darkness... there’s just so much of it... I’m even talking to myself now. This place is really not good for my mind.
“ARg! The hell?” I exclaim. My foot collides with something heavy. Reaching down, I feel a very strange sensation. I think that it’s a chain. It has the same shape and links but one small difference. The shape keep moving and changing. The chain feels almost ephemeral. Pulling it doesn’t seem to do anything either. However, I finally found something else which isn’t Darkness and that’s more than enough for me.
By following the chain with my hands firmly clasped around it, I notice that it doesn’t only go straight. If I’m correct than I believe this place is more of a labyrinth with no physical walls compared to an endless world of Darkness. Why else would the chain be changing direction so often?
This is one long chain that’s for sure. I’m almost starting to sympathise with its maker. Almost. I may have if it was shorter. And not just a bit shorter either. Much shorter in fact. Short enough that it didn’t take what felt like days to reach an end. I’m not even at the end yet and that’s the daunting thing.
Breathing. I swear I heard breathing. It may have stopped now, but I know what I heard. Wherever this chain is leading me, it certainly isn’t just Darkness. I just hope that it isn’t leading me only to be preyed upon and that the breathing was from something that doesn’t have a taste for human flesh. I can only hope.
The breathing is getting more consistent now. The further I follow the chain, the more intense the breathing gets. My heart really cannot take this much stress.
It is so loud. Almost as if someone is holding their breath in anticipation. Suddenly, it stops. This of course leads me to freeze as well. Did I do something wrong? I take a cautious step forwards to identify the reason behind the loss of breathing. To my astonishment, my foot lands on something which is definitely not a chain. It is rising. Up then down... just like a body. A body?!
I rush to the ground on my knees. “Are you alright?!” No response. Of course, if he was alright he wouldn’t be motionless on the ‘floor’. I turn them onto their back and place my head against their chest. They’re definitely breathing that is for sure. A heart beat as well if not a little fast. They’re alive at least it seems. I move my hands up to their neck only to pause. The chain. It’s wrapped around their neck. What the hell? I try to pry it free but it doesn’t budge. No wonder their heart rate is so fast. They’re being constantly strangled!
“Can you move?” If I can’t get the chain off, then I’ll just have to move him with the chain. Their arm twitched. “Anymore than that?” No response once more. It seems I’ll have to carry them. Ironic isn’t it? I was carried in the face of death now I’m carrying someone else in the same situation. I raise his back off the ‘floor’ and crouch in front of him then proceed to lift him onto my back. I now know where the chain leads it seems. I take a deep breath, then rise from my crouching position. I had to confirm they were actually on my back due to how little they weigh. They barely weigh anything in fact. Wait. What happened to the chain’s weight? A weight then starts pushing against my back. Yep, it’s there. I must have been imagining things before.
My right hand sliding along the ghostly chain, I charge down the path I had come from. Meanwhile, my mind is scrambling for answers. Why is there a person here of all places? There are a few possibilities I can think of. Firstly, they could be like me having found their way here. If that is the case even more of a reason to save them. Perhaps they have some solutions to the problems I’ve had since I first got here. The main one being: “What the hell is this place?” Secondly, something or someone could’ve put them here which would explain the chain. If that is the case I don’t want to be here when they come back. That is if they aren’t here already... I glance around... What’s the point in doing that? I’m just going to see Darkness anyway. As the saying goes ‘If I can’t see the enemy, they can’t see me either.’ Please let that be the case.. The last possibility I’ve thought of is that they live here. However, I quickly disregard that possibility. How could anything live where there is nothing after all?
There’s no sweat. It’s as if the Darkness consumes it the moment it forms. Strangely, I haven’t felt exhausted either. Surely I should be gasping for breath. This place just keeps messing with me, I need to get out of here.
The problem with running through complete Darkness though is that you tend not to see what’s in front of you. I was reminded of this ghastly fact by tripping over the very chain which I was using as a path guide, due to a sudden turn. Of course, the worst thing of all is that there is no floor. No actual one I mean. Therefore my passenger and I both fall and since there is no floor... we keep falling. However, falling in this case is strange as you can’t see yourself falling, nor can you feel yourself falling. All I have to go by is the flailing chain which is now going vertically. I wish this would just end already. Now I have to start working my way up when we eventually do stop falling.
When we do stop falling...
From Darkness suddenly comes blinding light. An explosion of white from seemingly nowhere. A sudden transition between overwhelming Darkness and a painfully bright light is quite uncomfortable it turns out. Are they okay? They aren’t on my back anymore. Please don’t say I left them in there... I open my eyes which had shut themselves hurriedly after being exposed to the light. Everything is hazy. Figures. I awkwardly stand up, struggling to find my balance. Where are they? I refuse to believe I left them in the dark. I notice a flash of apricot coloured skin. Skin? I come closer and sure enough. Before me lies a stark naked version of... me. This can’t be possible... How?...
“Isaac?”
How could he be alive? Why was he in that world of Darkness? My legs collapse to the floor which looking down is actually a floor this time. Perfect, seamless blades of grass lay beneath me trampled from where I’ve trod. Tears form in my eyes. I’m shaking. Get yourself together Jonas, you need to be strong for your brother. My legs still trembling, I stand once more and pull Isaac up by his arms.
“How are you still alive, Isaac?” I whisper to myself, letting go of his arms once he is fully stood. Only for him to fall forwards to the ground. It’s as if he’s never used his legs before. I help him up once more.
“Do you remember me Isaac? I’m Jonas. Your brother. Your friend.” He’s opening then closing his mouth now much like a fish. I catch him as he’s about to fall once more. Does he really not remember? Amnesia? But amnesia doesn’t make you forget basic body actions such as walking or the ability to speak. As far as I know anyway. Just what happened to you Isaac?
I’m afraid I’ll wake up any second and that this will all turn out to be a dream. Terrified that I’m still lying in a pool of my own blood. That I never left that spot. If this is a dream, I’ll make the most of it. I begin to gesticulate to Isaac how to walk. One leg first then the other. It’s like having a 15 year old toddler.
By the time Isaac began to walk by himself it was already dark.
“Oh look, you’re taking your first steps!” Isaac turns to the sound of my voice only to fall onto his back. However, a smile is painted across his face and that makes me forget years of pain. I can’t remember the last time I was this happy. It’s as if my life has been monochrome for the past five years and the colour has finally returned. It’s beautiful. I return with a smile of my own this time. A genuine one for once.po
After lifting Isaac back to his feet he steadily begins to walk. The smile still present on his face. I can’t help myself. I bring him into a hug. Oh how I’ve missed this. Tears start crawling down my face. I release Isaac and simply stare at him. I snicker when I see his worried expression. I place my hand upon his head, like mother used to do to us as kids, then ruffle his hair. “Don’t worry, these are happy tears.” A grimace replaces my smile as I look down though and I’m reminded of Isaac’s current exhibitionism. Better find him something to cover up while he practises the whimsical act of walking.
What could I use? My cloth is an option however I would prefer it to be untainted. Selfish I know, but who knows if we’ll have another encounter with a Vibrana field. Or worse. Out of ideas, I glance at the surrounding wildlife. Safrolis? The leaves of that tree might cause some nasty reaction and I’m not willing to risk it. Although it does make great tea. I’ll get some for mother.
Oh that’ll do perfectly! I rip off the leaves of a nearby bush. Grasifrim is a common forest bush in the local area and just like any normal bush doesn’t have any side effects. After using some nearby fibres as well I manage to make an all-natural loincloth. Now where is Isaac? Oh he’s attempting to copy me. To my left, Isaac’s furiously ripping apart a batch of flora. Unable to hold back, I laugh. Isaac tilts his head to the side, confused. That only makes me laugh more. Rubbing tears from my eyes, I grin at my brother. When was the last time I laughed like that?
“I got you some clothes, Isaac.” I present my marvel of a creation but take it back before he grabs it. I don’t want him trying to eat this, just because it looks like a plant. Who knows how badly the amnesia got to him if he forgot how to walk.
“Come here so we can get you dressed.” Oh right he doesn’t understand me. That doesn’t affect my mood though. I simply waltz over to him instead.
After managing to fit the loincloth onto him, I step back to admire my work. I don’t want to brag but I could become very well become a tailor. After getting Isaac accustomed to his new attire, we begin to trudge through the undergrowth.
Time flew by with helping Isaac overcome the many obstacles the woodland threw at us. Before we knew it, darkness wrapped the world in its embrace. However, this darkness doesn’t even cut close to what we experienced before. As we enter a clearing we get to see the night in all its glory. Shimmering stars scattered across a pool of black with the iconic moon gazing down on us. It seems I really did return from that place. I peer at Isaac who is taking large steps behind me. I grin. We escaped. My grin was quickly swept off my face by the bush shaking before me. I gradually move backwards, keeping Isaac behind me. I’m not letting him go again. My heart beats faster as the bush continues to shudder. That is until a young fawn emerges from it. I release my held breath and sigh.
“Almost gave me a heart attack.” I state then gaze at the creature. Poor thing is shivering. It is kind of cold I guess. Cold. I swiftly shift my gaze to Isaac who’s staring at the fawn curiously. He’s only in a loincloth shouldn’t he be cold? I approach him to check his temperature. Warm for now. I’ll have to sort something out once I get a fire going. Isaac looks at me, his eyes twinkling. How can I not smile back? Mum will dote on him to no end when we get back. I don’t even mind, I’m just glad to have him back. The fawn apprehensively works its way towards us then catches its eyes on Isaac. It stops shivering and just stares at him. Oh hell no, I’ve had enough of staring creatures for a lifetime. Before I manage to move though, Isaac slips past me and places his hand upon its head and proceeds to stroke it. Well I’ll be damned. It’s crying. Isaac simply brings it into a hug and carries on comforting it. Now isn’t that a sight for sore eyes. I raise my head to look at the growing darkness. We need to set up camp.
With the fawn practically attached to Isaac, I leave them to their own devices in search of firewood. I unwrap my cloth from my neck and knot it into a bag of sorts then proceed to fill it with twigs I deem appropriate, while never treading too far from where Isaac is. This also gives me the opportunity to rethink my plan. I don’t recognise any of my surroundings which is an issue. Just how far was I carried after I fell? My mind then comes back to Isaac. It was worth it. If I had to get chased by a tiger then stoned by some unknown species to find Isaac I would do it again. Not just once either. Infinite times. Eternity.
Grinning, I continue gathering fire wood until I slip onto my back. Groggily, I sit up. I need to pay more attention. I’ve should’ve been able to spot that... banana... skin. Oh no. No, no, no, no! I scramble to my feet cradling my almost filled bag against my chest. Worst comes to worst, I’ll have a lot of twigs to throw. Racing back to camp, I ignore the pain in my legs. Please let him be safe.
As I approach, I hear laughter. One I’m all too familiar with. I increase my pace, my breathing growing ragged. Just a little more. As I enter the small clearing, I hear a new type of laughter. One I haven’t heard in years. I drop my bag of twigs and fall to my knees. My hands move by themselves to cover the lower half of my face. What’s it with me crying today? Before me I see a dozen of the fur-ball creatures all on their backs and laughing as Isaac tickles their bellies. Some are humming melodies, some are simply lying down and some are even offering their bananas to Isaac. What the hell is going on? Isaac notices me and his smile gets even wider. The creatures stop their actions to look at me with shock written across their faces. You bastards thought I died didn’t you? One of them turns and hides behind Isaac, fear obvious in their eyes. I guess I’d be scared as well if the person you thought you killed seemingly resurrected. Then they blinked. So they can blink. I clench my fists around my makeshift bag and stroll in front of Isaac. I drop my bag and fall to the ground sighing. After a few minutes, their fear was overcome with curiosity.
“Get your mitts off that.” I say exasperated to one of them as they attempt to steal out one of my twigs. “Blah!” It responds, sticking its tongue out at me. Blah? They’re getting cocky again. Two can play at that game.
I begin to empty the firewood onto my designated spot when the same fur-ball attempts to thief a piece. “Blah 1, none of that thank you.” Blah 1’s face contorts into horror as it hears the name I graciously bestowed upon it. Another monkey who was eating a banana until this point, begins to laugh like a maniac. Oh is Blah 1 angry? An evil grin comes to life on my face. Perfect. “Blah 2 you’re no better. Make yourself useful.” Blah 2 chokes on a mouthful of banana when it hears its name. It’s Blah 1’s turn to laugh this time it seems as they begin to roll around clutching their chest. At least Blah 2 took my words to heart and began to help me set the fire. Wait. “You understand me?” Blah 2 rolls its eyes and continues with its task. “Blah 1 do you understand me too?” Blah 1 freezes in its laughter and growls at me. I’ll take that as a yes. Blah 2’s tail brushes against mine and my face goes pale and I retreat a few steps. All I get in response is a face of confusion. “Sorry, I still have trust issues...” I awkwardly reply. My hand seems to have unconsciously gone to the back of my head. I take a deep breath and look at Isaac. I have to overcome this for him. I get back to work with Blah 2 helping me.
After I’ve collected some water and finished setting camp up, I finally relax. The fawn has left it seems when I was gone. I would’ve preferred if the blahs went in its place. Blah 1 sticks its tongue out at me. Never lucky. Isaac has simply been staring intensely into the fire for the past few minutes. I guess it is his first time seeing it after all. Can’t blame him. One of the blahs who was perched on his shoulder jumps down and strolls over to me. I then begins to gesticulate. “No clue? A fish?” It stops to look at me with a frown. “Not that then I guess. I give up.” I remark tiredly. The blah lowers its head to mutter something then lifts it to look at me once more. “La La.” It proclaims. “La La?” I repeat. The blah nods enthusiastically. Now what the hell could a ‘La La’ be? The blah then makes mouth gestures and holds its hands out above it like a preacher. “LA LA LA LAAAAA” That was almost melodic. Oh! They mean a song. I guess I did sing to them when I was climbing the trees earlier.
“A song! Great idea Blah 3!” I rise from the ground and praise. Blah 3 then proceeds to make puking gestures. How rude.
Let’s think...
“Stories,
Are fickle things.
Each-quite-different to the last.
Normally anyways.
One could be a travellers tale,
Or perhaps of a knight as they prevail.
Imagine scenes,
Imagine the glory,
Oh let me tell you my little story.
Our gaze shifts South,
With a folk named Blete.
His life was solid,
If not a little bleak.
That-was-un-til one morning,
Where the sun rose red,
Or so they all said.
Struck with shock,
Our-hero-cries with fear,
Then set his boat off and began to steer.
Of course he didn’t last long,
As he went and died,
But-will-that-end-my-song?
No!~
From the waves emerged,
Something of which you’ve never heard!”
I quickly glance at my audience to see then captivated. A grin spreads across my face. Guess I’ll continue then.
“A whale which leapt the water,
And flew.
Fish soon followed,
Leaving the ocean to be flipped upside down.
The water then rose,
But the people kept still.
What were these creatures who stole our sky?
The norm was soon forgot.
It’s kind of hard not to,
When you see something which defies all you’ve been taught.
The people then took action and boarded boats.
And that my friends is how the first man flew.
Believe it or not,
It tells a tale.
Could it come true,
Or will we forever be stuck to this spot?”
I take a deep breath, bow and wait for an applause. Oh right. My audience are some forest creatures and my amnesic brother. Not much chance of an applause. I spoke too soon it seems. One of the blahs are clapping loudly. Now which one was he... Ah! That scar across their face. “Thank you Blah 2! Thank you” Blah 2 nods, then realises what I called it and sneers. Gotcha.
I turn my attention to Isaac sleeping. Was it really that boring of a song? I can’t keep it up though as lips curve upwards. He’s been through a lot. I have been through quite an ordeal as well. It’s not every day you almost die after all. Although, I guess I wasn’t chained up in complete Darkness. Poor guy. I lie on my back and watch the embers fly towards the moon only to vanish. Their lives cut short. Mother. Mum. Don’t worry, I’ll be home soon. With a little surprise in tow.
When morning broke I was painfully awoken by a kick to my side. I grumble, as I rise. Then proceed to shake off my blanket. Blanket? My realisation came as four sets of eyes staring at me sleepily. I hastily back up with a yelp. One of the blahs then say something to which the other blahs grumble in agreement with and turn away from me to return to sleep. I won’t be getting used to this anytime soon.
“Sorry Isaac...” My cry seems to have woken him. His gaze fixed on the positioning of my arms, he attempts to copy me. As he tries to sit up, I notice he has a similar blanket. Except much larger.
No time to move like the present. Grabbing Isaac’s hand, I help him up. “Let’s get going.” He tilts his head at me. I smile to which he responds in kind.
“Blah 2!” I notice one Blah shiver among the rest. I approach... her? I think it’s a her. “Could you give us directions to where you saw me before?” Blah 2 opens one eye to see who disrupted her rest and then sighs as she sees me. Who were you expecting? She then stretches and scurries over to Isaac where she sits upon his shoulder. She shouts something which rouses the others. Perhaps she’s their leader of sorts? The other blahs then proceed to line up in front of Isaac. What scheme are they pulling now... Isaac beams at their attention and reaches down to hug the first in line. Then the next and the next. After each blah has been hugged by Isaac, they proceed to leave. Blah 2 smiles smugly at me. “Bah, I never wanted to be hugged anyway.” I state as I join up beside Isaac. Only for him to hug me too. “Thanks Isaac...” He then ruffles my hair and laughs when I push him back flushed red.
“Let’s just get out of here already.” I beckon Blah 2. She responds by pointing to my left. Our guide has spoken and so we trudge onwards.
I cannot help but increase my speed, as we pass areas I recognise. We’re so close now. I pause at Blah 2’s signal of a sharp “Blah!” and turn to see her hugging Isaac. She then jumps down and stops before me with her arms spread. She wants a hug? I guess... it wouldn’t hurt. I wrap my arms around Blah 2 and look up to see Isaac covering his mouth, chuckling. The nerve. Who taught him that? After releasing the hug, Blah 2 points one last time before rushing up a tree and disappearing into the lush green. There are some decent Blahs it seems. Isaac begins walking in the direction she pointed us in and I fall in step with him. Just you wait mother, we’ll be home soon. I wonder what happened to all the blood from my fall. It should’ve been around here...
...
I stare up at the door in front of me then at Isaac beside me. We’re finally here. I grab Isaac’s hand and clasp it hard. With that I knock on the door and hear the screeching of a chair behind it as somebody rushes to the door. The door flies open to reveal a woman with nut-brown hair and eyes a sparkling green which contrast against the bags lying underneath her eyes. A leather apron covers her body as she lowers her worried gaze to us.
“Jason Ariel Kraftson, where were-“ Then her eyes focus completely on Isaac and tears begin to form.
“Mother, you won’t believe who I found in the forest,” I professed.
Her response consisted of falling to her knees and wrapping us both in an enormous bear hug. Sobbing she struggles to speak but I do manage to make out one part.
“Welcome home.”
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Sword System Academia
2/17 NOTICE: I'm putting this on hiatus, possibly permanently. I didn't want to spam with an "update chapter", so hopefully here and in the story blurb will get enough eyeballs. There are a couple reasons for ending SSA for now. 1) I wrote the next chapter but wasn't happy with it. I've been less and less satisfied with SSA's quality the more I thought about it. Part of the reason is... 2) I am seriously thinking about trying to publish some novels to help pay the bills, since I don't have my other source of income anymore. I have never asked for anything from SSA readers, no money, not even a review or rating. SSA is written for fun to amuse myself, primarily, and I would kind of feel bad actually charging someone money for something as unserious as that. I don't think it is good enough to ask anything in return. To use an analogy from music, SSA is more like a jam session with a bunch of friends. You're just chiling and having fun playing some music. I mean, if you are Mozart or even Eminem, your jam session is good enough to sell, but for an amateur beginner like myself, haha, no. If I want to publish something, I feel like I need to go the proper route of practice and rehearsals, which might be more similar to a classical concert performance. With SSA, I work from worldbuilding notes and a loose outline, but what you are essentially getting is the first draft with lots of so-called pantsing. Pushing out a web novel like this also means it is very difficult to go back and improve things without breaking everything else downstream. I wanted to try this "jamming" approach, as it was a good way to teach me about another aspect of writing, but to move forward, I think I need to hone my "classical" techniques, which emphasize rewriting, or at least, revising outlines. 3) While I intend to try to make $$$, my actual current goal is to "get gud". I've spent a lot of time recently trying to understand the self-publishing industry, and I'm pretty sure I can make some money by using short-term strategies with my current amateur skill level. But I've seen too many authors come and go/burnout, and really, the only way that I think I can enjoy writing and still make money on a long-term basis is to become a better writer. And the next step for me, which I haven't done much before, is to spend more time on rewriting and outlines. That is pretty much antithetical to the way SSA is developing. I've always been kind of 20/80 plotting/pantsing, but I want to spend a lot more time outlining before I even start writing. SSA jam sessions don't really fit my goal anymore. If you're curious about what's next, read on... Among other regrets, I regret not finishing SSA. It's the first story I've dropped, but then again, it's the first web novel I've attempted, so I suppose that's not a surprise. I don't think traditional web novel formats suit me that well. The whole SSA story I had loosely planned (beyond a first book or major arc) is way too large as well. Big story = good for neverending webnovel with Patreons, bad for penniless and fickle writer like me. I am currently outlining a complete trilogy to another story in great detail. I want the story to end concisely, and I also want the chance to really spend a lot of time on the full outline to spot pacing problems, character issues, lost themes, and so on. I'll still share this story on RR. What I intend to do is finish book 1, flash-publish the whole thing here for a few weeks, then publish on the big Zon. Repeat for books 2 and 3. The upcoming story will be about crafting heroes. The backdrop is an isekai-like setting, where elves will summon humans to their world as heroes, but the whole hero crafting business is still in its infancy. The elven mage researchers are figuring out how to imbue heroes with power, while the heroes are trying to figure out how to use the powers that they gain. Humans are the best hero templates because they are blank and have no intrinsic magic. Or at least that what the elves thought. The human MC has his own secrets... There will be some similarities with litrpgs, but I would call it more a progression fantasy or gamelit story. For example, the stats are very low, at least initially. Say we have a stat called Str. Going from Str = 1 to Str = 2 is a huge deal. Also, going from Dex = 0 to Dex = 1 is an even bigger deal. I guess you could call it a "low-stat litrpg", haha. Also, the heroes won't be gaining stats simply by killing things or leveling up. You can't increase stats arbitrarily, either. There will be rules to how stats can increase, and how they work with each other. The elven mages will be figuring out these rules in order to craft stronger and stronger heroes. Some inspiration will be from cultivation magic systems, but there won't be overt cultivation, at least for now. A theme I really want to explore is the idea of interactions. That includes things like hero crafter vs hero, tactics vs strategy, skill synergies, racial interactions (dwarves, elves, etc), and son. Yeah, so hero crafting. I'm super excited about this project and venturing into publishing. If you want to check out the upcoming story, you can follow my RR author profile to see when it drops here. Finally... THANK YOU TO EVERYONE! I'm very sorry that SSA is stopping, but I hope at least some of you will find the next story at least as enjoyable, if not more. Thanks to all the readers who gave SSA a shot. Big hug or solid fistbump to all of you, whichever you prefer! I hope this message is not a downer but an upper, because I am psyched!! -purlcray -------------- BLURB: Talen, youngest Master of the Koroi, makes his way to the Empire's capital to salvage his clan's fate. But the bustling city has few opportunities for the traditionalist. For the old sword clans are fading. With the rise of alchemy, gold can purchase strength that ordinarily took years of training to cultivate. Sword artists, once rare and accomplished, are quickly growing in number, especially among the wealthy noble class. Even with such alchemy, though, no one has advanced to the rank of Grandmaster in countless years. Talen's true dream is to walk the path of a sword artist to the very end while fulfilling his clan duties. And then the Swordgeists return, fabled founders of all sword arts, gods who had touched the world long ago and vanished. These myths turned into reality warn of a coming threat. Alongside this warning, they issue an invitation to the Sword System Academy, a path to power beyond the mortal realm. But first, they will hold an entrance exam... Story notes:Sword System Academia blends elements of western and asian fantasy such as xianxia and litrpg. I took parts from different genres I enjoyed and twisted them into my own creation. There will be an explicit system, both of the litrpg kind and the hard(ish) magic kind, but it is embedded within an academic structure that will develop over the course of the story. This is my attempt to design a unique type of system, the System Academia.
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