"Remember to like, follow, and subscribe if you like this content!" shouts Carlos-X-Media before he leads his crew of three ghost hunters through an abandoned strip mall in the middle of Kansas City, Missouri. The broadcast is live and, of course, airing at 1am Eastern time, at peak spooky hour, when every errant shadow or crumbling edifice can be mistaken for ghost activity. And I love that shit.

What else would an underemployed college student renting out his own mothers' basement do instead of midterms or finding a job? And 'renting' would be giving myself too much credit, but worrying about being broke and ugly can come later.

Carlos found something. Well, specifically, it found him. Now I'm not sure how they came across this or why they're the only ones that found it. Ever since the History channel started making more money from reality TV than documentaries, amateur ghost hunting, fake psychics, and, of course, UFO hunters have exploded in popularity. Well, not really exploded, just – if you're the type of guy who is curious about the paranormal due to a video game addiction and literally too much time on your hands (no job and no girlfriend), then this is the golden age of wasting time watching idiots walk into dilapidated buildings.

And the Metro North Mall is as creepy as they come. Generally speaking, this place has been and probably will be explored now and into the foreseeable future. Every step Carlos's ghost hunters take is all too familiar. I've seen and heard other more famous people step loudly on dried plaster, step around fallen ceiling segments, and comment on the fate of western capitalism. The old mall, abandoned since 2014, is a crypt of sorts, lined with well-marked hazards and sharp nails. Only their iPhone's flashlights puncture the shadows and reveal broken store windows and escalators with uncoupled handrails and rusted steps.

The group makes hushed quips as they pretend the mall is haunted. Their own shadows cast jagged and unfamiliar images across the broken landscape that extends out every direction. And at the center of it all, as Carlos and his crew get quieter and quieter, is a large black coffin.

Now, here's the thing, if you didn't subscribe to their Patreon, this would be a surprise. It was, however, a big reveal yesterday when they took pictures during their dry run of the mall a few days ago. Carlos somehow found what every other professional and amateur ghost hunter missed. The big undiscovered thing since this mall closed, and photographer Septh Lawless took those viral photos. The black coffin, which some people commented was closer to a sarcophagus than a simple black box you bury six feet under, was Carlos-X's best-kept secret, as none of his fans wanted to ruin the reveal and attract other ghost hunters or debunkers. Granted, most of us knew it was fake. We watch this stuff for entertainment value, or at least I do. I don't believe in ghosts as a general rule. No amount of jump-scares will change that. What I expect Carlos to do is fill the coffin with creepy fog or strobe lights and have a shitty jump scare that I one hundred percent expected but will enjoy anyway.

That's what I expected anyway. But when Carlos' friends go dead silent, and the heavy breathing iconic to most paranormal investigators on YouTube intensifies like a heartbeat, I start to wonder if something is terribly wrong. Again, not superstitious, but the black coffin, even through the shaky cam, seems to radiate a dark aura, like light isn't being absorbed but spilling away from the coffin in distinguishable waves. No way they didn't notice that or if they did, they most definitely planned it that way somehow. Yes, somehow, that is the only explanation, but with that explanation came an unnerving sense of building dread. They were supposed to open that thing tonight...

Of course, me in my room, surrounded by Gundam posters and old Shonen Jump volumes back when One Piece, Naruto and Bleach were popular, is afraid of YouTuber pranks. Well, I'm watching this crap for a reason, am I not? I can't make fun of myself for being afraid? I shake my head and give the Red Bull a good swig as the cameraman stops to let Carlos take center stage. A reluctant and slightly sweaty Carlos, whose eyes look a little more dilated than they probably should be but again gotta sell the scare.

"As you see here," Carlos-X-Media waves his hand over the coffin, the details now forming up as both intricate and utterly alien, "this thing just.. appeared when we arrived a few days ago. I can't tell you how scared I am, and Jesse still wants me to pull back and call Missouri State..."

A dramatic pause. "But we at Xtreme Ghost Media have never backed down from anything supernatural!"

The cameraman rotates around the coffin, which is starting to resemble a sarcophagus you'd find in a high school history book next to a passage that reads, "And Britain shipped it to a museum." Or a children's cartoon showing mummies as the supernatural threat of the week, being one part familiar in its depiction of a resting ruler ready for the afterlife but also very different. Like the crafters also took inspiration from a man-sized lizard and not an actual person, living or dead.

At the completion of the rotation, the camera settles on Carlos, who is sweating even more profusely and muttering to himself as if he needs to psych himself up for what he is about to do. With a deep breath and eyes shut, he reaches for the lid and pushes hard. And to his surprise, it actually budges, even though it looks pretty solid. But that should be a surprise. This is a hoax, after all. One more push and the smoke machine will trigger, or a weird creaking sound will be emitted. Maybe they'll pretend like they're being chased by Brandon Frasers Mummy?

"See, nothing happened!" Matt-The-Hack says reassuringly, the assigned spooky tech with the fake spirit barometers and 'sensitive mics' on Carlos's crack team. They all laugh, Jessy the girl next door/researcher, Carlos the personality, Matt the tech guy, and Jake the cameraman all join in as if they were just as relieved that nothing happened as me and about 20,000 live followers are disappointed. Then a sound, like rushing wind, echoes around the mall, and the coffin begins to glow an eerie white that highlights hieroglyphs and symbols that hurt the brain to read, as something appears to push the lid open from the inside. Then laughter is heard, shrill and inhuman as the sound seems to burrow into my brain as the white glow turns green, in a flash, everything is enveloped; the YouTubers, the mall, and me...

...

.…

...…

.....…

Unfortunate soul.

A voice echoes inside my mind, my eyes seem permanently closed, and nothing outside the feeling of "me" seems to persist. Only that voice that seems highlighted bold.

Choose the form of your suffering.

Wait, no...no? No, why? Why do I have to do that!

CHOOSE!

A window that was in the corner of my mind, waiting patiently for me to bring it to focus, is now all-encompassing. Nothing else matters but the images, the...what the fuck!?

Race

Human

Dwarf

Elf

Lizard

Orc

Rat

Ok, why am I looking at a character select screen?! That can't be right! What, what happens when I think of DW-

You have Chosen Dwarf. Well Done.

Wait, no, what the actual fuck I didn't choose-

Time is of the essence! Choose your Power.

Class

Fighter

Cleric

Ranger

Wizard

"That's it!"

Yes.

"You cannot be serious. There has to be more!" Suddenly I feel whatever is out there; no, it can only be described as the Void's laughter.

These are the Core traits that define the path, unfortunate one. Whether you stray from it depends on your choices... or your suffering.

I can feel it relish those last words. "Can I" I'm not trying to repeat the same mistake twice, "View a selection before making it?"

There is a small amount of time, yes. But be quick.

Fighter, Cleric, Ranger, Wizard. There is no way for me to choose without knowing what I'm going to run into, but I have to, or...it chooses for me. However, the only thing that appeals to me is the obvious magic classes. Cleric or Wizard?

Cleric "Uses holy magic to destroy the unclean. Requires belief in a deity that is good and righteous though there are few left of those."

Wizard "Uses the destructive arts to destroy your enemies, must be wary of being consumed by the very magic that they wield. Only requires a thirst to learn, that is unquenchable and all-consuming."

Ok, that doesn't sound convincing either way. Like it expects me to die horribly. Being 'consumed' doesn't sound fun, but something itches at the back of my mind that my selection for Dwarf should accompany a choice for cleric or the other two combat classes. Not wizard. Anything but the wizard, it insists.

CHOOSE!

A thirst for eternal power sounds like going insane slowly, but something tells me that going to church may not be a good idea for a lifelong atheist. I choose wiz-

Wizard. A most...unfortunate choice. But it is one made.

"Why is that unfortunate?"

You shall see.

Suddenly a character menu pops up, and I see to my horror what the Void is referring to.

Character Sheet

Name: Mike Sammons

Race: Human -> Dwarf

Class: Wizard Lv1

Origin: Underdetermined

Stats: Level 1

Strength: 7 (5+2)/ (Str determines the power in the body, relationship to raw speed and overall physical power)

Dexterity: 5 (5 +0)/ (Dex determines the speed and the efficiency with complex movement and techniques)

Intelligence: 5 (5+0)/ (Int determines your knowledge of the mortal world and the power of your destructive spells.)

Wisdom: 10 (5+5)/ (Wis determines your knowledge of the greater beyond, increases holy magic)

Constitution: 6 (5+1)/ (Con determines your overall health and recovery rate from injury, disease, and poison)

Charisma: 1 (5-4)/ (Char determines your ability to quickly form bonds of trust or lie)

Bonus Stat Luck: 1 (Explains your unexpected survival.)

"You can't be fucking serious! Why didn't you show me this before I picked a class? Why didn't you let me choose where my points go!"

Points? Silly creature, your attribute spread was based on your life experience. Unusually large for your species meant more strength, and a large amount of time spent memorizing actions on your...key-board which unfortunately doesn't derive any bonuses. Intelligence, you are not above or below average for your species. And Wisdom? You spent many, many, many years contemplating forces beyond mortal understanding. Constitution I attribute to what would have been a noticeably long lifespan. And Charisma, the term loner describes you, yes?

Now Choose your origin, Dwarf you have 2 seconds.

Origin.

Hill

Mountain

“Wait, I can't just-"

1 second-

Not knowing what to pick, not given any real chance to know what to do! My mind blanks, and I-.

Hill. It has been decided. Live, unfortunate one.