Ashley waltzed out of her bedroom with chest puffed out and a smirk on her face. She was wearing a long t-shirt covered in Japanese writing and scantily armored anime valkyries.

Avery tagged behind, still as naked as she arrived, completely unconcerned.

Sara was lying on the couch reading an imported manga about monks slaying demons as Lisa had her feet up on her desk, slowly scrolling down the cracked screen of her phone to read an xianxia novel.

The scent of freshly brewed coffee in the air caused Ashley to make a beeline to the half-filled pot.

“Lisa, you forgot my creamer again! Just because you can choke down this bitter swill doesn’t mean I can.”

“Sorry Ash, slipped my mind. There’s some sugar in the freezer.”

“Here mistress,” Ashley winked, “try this. It’s better with my favorite caramel macchiato creamer, but even so, nothing beats coffee in the morning.” Receiving a swat on the rear as thanks, she grinned.

“So, you fucked the succubus. Did it take away your soul twice?” Lisa asked as the duo entered the living room with mugs in hand.

“She’s not a succubus,” Ashley smirked, “she’s a slime girl.”

“Slime-fungus hybrid,” Avery corrected with a finger raised. “And that’s the loosest of comparisons. I was born into a world with different rules of reality after all. Evolution works a bit differently there.”

“Fungus huh?” Sara eyed Ashley’s crotch with narrowed eyes. “Need me to squirt some mildew spray down there for ya?”

Eyes widened, Ashley’s head snapped to face Avery.

“Not necessary.” Avery assured, “This vessel was formed to resemble yours. There’s not a spore on me.”

“Still don’t believe it. If you’re not a succubus, whyyy–” Sara pointed, “are you still naked?”

“Oh fine. If I am making the feisty pet uncomfortable and causing her to second guess her sexuality, I will accommodate and borrow some clothing,” Avery teased with a chuckle.

As Avery left to find something to wear, Lisa swiveled around in her office chair.

"Guys, you need to stop arguing. We have a guest after all. It’s rude to–” Lisa began before locking eyes with Ashley.

“What the fuck happened to you?” They both asked at the same time.

Lisa was sporting a black eye, as well as bruising from her crash to the floor the previous night. Ashley’s injuries weren’t as severe, but welts and small bandages covered her from head to toe.

“Did you get in a fistfight?”

“No, I–” Lisa blushed, “It was just an accident. What about you? Fight a weed wacker?”

“No! Last night was the best–”

“Don’t say it, we heard plenty last night.”

“Then don’t ask!” Ashley’s face turned scarlet.

Avery returned wearing a gaudy blouse with spangles of brushed bronze and tarnished gold hanging from its sleeves. She was much smaller than Ashley, from whom it was borrowed, causing the blouse to fit like a minidress but the originally modest v-neck reached lower than intended and the sleeves had to be scrunched up.

“Are you sure–you want to wear that?”

“Don’t listen to them, you look adorable!”

“It’s not like I had many options.” Avery explained, “None of you are near my size, and using magic here, where reality saps it away, is just too wasteful.” Looking over Lisa’s shoulder, she asked, “What’s this?”

“Oh, just a web xianxia,” Lisa answered as Avery began reading.

The girl was a jade beauty, comparable to the recently conquered Que Young, but how many celestial beauties has Sun Zhou seen? His gaze wouldn’t be moved so easily.

Seeing the Sun Zhou ignore her beauty, Tang Ju was enraged. How dare he not spare her a second glance? she thought. If he leered at her at least she would have an excuse to send her thousand admirers at him! Now how can she teach him a lesson?

---Two paragraphs later---

Sun Zhou climbed up from the ground, recent memories lost from a blow to the head. Looking around he saw a forest of tall trees surrounding him and heard the growling of a beast in the distance.

That’s a baby divine beast! Sun Shou thought and marched towards the sound. A few steps later, he stopped as the screams of a woman reached his ears. To his left was Tang Ju writhing on the ground and ripping off her clothes.

She’s been poisoned, Sun Zhou realized. It was an aphrodisiac, probably demonic third horn, and if not cured soon she will lose her life. But the only way to cure her is with sex. I have Que Young and I could never betray her. This beauty has nothing to do with me, he thought, as he turned to walk away.

“Help me! Please,” Tang Ju pleaded with tear-filled eyes, “I don’t want to die!” All women secretly craved a strong man to cling to after all.

“Oh all right, I guess I’ll sully myself out of the kindness of my heart,” Sun Zhou said as he removed his robe. “Just don’t expect me to take responsibility.”

“What the fuck?” Avery cringed, “Does this Sun Zhou have a magic cock or something?”

“Yea, these books are filled with wish-fulfillment,” Lisa explained, “You have to read about nine or ten chapters for anything of note to happen.”

“Then why do you read it?”

“Well, I like the idea of cultivation. Where everyone can work, gamble, steal, or do whatever is necessary to unblock the path they want to travel and escape their fate.”

“Couldn’t this struggle to escape also be considered a type of destiny?”

“Well at least there are more options and a real possibility of achieving the desired outcome,” Lisa retorted.

“I know!” Ashley butted in, “Let’s play Demons and Dev–I mean Saints and Saviors! That way Avery can understand the type of world we want to visit.”

“I’m always game,” Lisa said with enthusiasm, “It might be early but there can’t be S&S without drinks; Sara, if you don’t mind mixing the lemon drop martinis, I’ll try to homebrew a one-off.”

---Two hours later---

“Avery,” Sara called with authority, “I need you to release your spores to infect the minotaur corpse. Have him charge and ram the remaining archers off the ledge.”

“Then I can light ‘em up, causing their thunder arrows to blow!” Ashley caught on.

“Right, there should be an underground stream blocked off by these boulders that carved this ravine to form.”

“Don’t forget,” Lisa hinted, “All that water will need to go somewhere.”

“I didn’t forget! The crystals blocking the other end dissolve in water.” Sara smirked, “I remember.”

A mist of spores traveled from a vine-clad druid atop a narrow rope bridge. Green particles whirled in the air before settling on the corpse of a giant minotaur. The body twitched and rose unsteadily before it’s bloodshot eyes opened and charged to ram into a pair of skeletal archers.

The bone bags dropped, groaning until they crashed atop a set of boulders nestled at the end of a ravine.

As the bones scattered across the rocks, Ashley yelled, “Kaboom!” and launched a fireball to blanket the area.

Shockwaves resounded reminiscent of thunder throughout the narrow cavern, causing the bridge to sway this way and that as water gushed from one end of the ravine and slammed into the crystals growing on the far side.

“The crystals aren’t dissolving.” Lisa declared.

“But they did last time! I checked!” Sara argued.

“The last cave was under the ocean. They dissolved in saltwater, this is freshwater”

“That’s bullshit!”

“While you argue with the party, the water is rising,” Lisa ended the argument.

“Fuck, just run!” Ashley exclaimed and dashed across the wavering bridge.