Sara rapped twice on the door to her childhood home with a hand raised to shield her eyes from the sun. After receiving no reply, she fumbled with her keys before creaking the door open. Her eyes squinted to adjust to the gloom of the living room.

“Father, I’m home,” she called.

The interior was illuminated only by the erratic flashing of the television. As her vision adapted, she noticed what a mess the place had become. Memories of her childhood played in her mind; The living room had always been brightly lit, clean, and organized. Her mother had constantly nagged her about putting away her toys before taking any more out. The contrast in the once familiar playroom caused her stomach to turn.

Dust filled the air and the scent of alcohol fought for dominance with the stench of half-rotten food. Stacks of takeout boxes, beer cans, and wine bottles littered the table and moved on to the intermix with laundry piled about the floor.

Looking into the kitchen, she noticed the pile of long-ignored dishes piled into the sink and on the countertop. The pantry was left wide open but empty. The faint buzzing of gnats and occasional skitter of cockroaches could be heard over the sound of the television.

Turning on the light of her phone, she stepped carefully around as much of the mess as she could and made her way towards the recliner. Her father was sleeping in his usual spot with a half spilled bottle in his arms. Another wave of pain filled her chest as she tried to reconcile the man she looked up towards for her entire childhood with what was left of him.

He had once been what she idealized as a proper man, with a strong build and a warm demeanor, he made her feel safe innumerable times as a child. Now, with his face unshaven and his hair unkempt, he looked like little more than a beer-bellied bum off the streets.

Shaking his shoulder, she called again, “Father, I came to visit you.”

“Hua, whos that?”

“It’s me, I came to pay you a visit. I brought you some alfredo from your favorite restaurant,” She said as she raised the bag in front of him.

“Mhm, you can put it over on the counter, I’m not hungry. Why aren’t you in school?”

“It’s Sunday, I don’t have any classes. Besides, I wanted to let you know that I’ll be going on a school trip tomorrow and won’t be able to see you for a while,” she said, as she began to tidy up the place.

“Do you need any money? I still have some from the insurance.”

“No, don’t worry about it. It’s covered with my scholarship.”

Sara cleaned the house for most of the afternoon in silence. Neither of them had much to say as they both ignored the obvious. She had tried to confront him about his drinking before but it only angered him and she didn’t want that to be their last conversation.

When the cleaning was finished, she leaned down to the recliner and gave her father a hug, “Goodbye father, take care of yourself, alright?" Try not to let the mess get so bad again.”

“Bye pumpkin, don’t worry so much about me. Just take care of your schoolwork, that’s enough to fill your plate.”

For a moment, she thought she saw a hint of clarity return to her father’s eyes as he replied, but she crushed any false hope that it might have caused. The hope would only lead to disappointment, she reminded herself, it wasn’t the first time she thought he would get sober.

As she locked the door behind her and left, guilt followed. She wasn’t sure if arguing with the demon would allow her to stay here with her father but that’s part of why she didn’t try. She was running away and she knew it.

Entering the temple, she walked to the back to visit her mother’s grave. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she knelt by the tombstone and placed a sunflower in the vase. Memories on the back porch with her parents, plucking seeds, lingered in her mind. She wondered how different her life would be if her mother was still around; And how different her father would be.

“I’m such a coward,” she mumbled, “too afraid to even run away on my own or to admit it’s what I want to do. I have to have someone force me.”

As the sun started to set, she climbed to her feet with dried eyes and began walking in the direction of her shared apartment. On the way, she stopped by her favorite dessert shop and bought a carton of cookie dough flavored ice cream. She had always used sweets to cheer herself up in the past and now she didn’t even have to worry about the consequences.

As she let herself into the apartment, she heard her friends slurring and laughing in a half-drunk stupor.

“Hey guys, I’m back. And apparently, I’m not the only one indulging."

“Hey! Sara come, have a drink with us. Don’t let all this go to waste.” Ashley slurred and stumbled over to greet Sara with a side hug.

“Ah nice,” Lisa exclaimed as she noticed Sara’s ice cream, “I’ll get some bowls for whiskey floats!”

Sara smiled lightly and walked in to help. She resisted the urge to decline alcohol for the second time today. She knew that she wasn’t the same as her father, but it still made her fear falling into his footsteps. Still, she refused to succumb to fear and reject another part of normal life. She wanted to enjoy herself with her friends but she would be mindful of the slippery slope.

Sara drank and snacked with her friends and was able to forget her worries. She even managed to strike up a conversation with Avery about flowers and botany, even though the demon was back to her usual lack of clothing.

“Okay everyone,” Ashley announced with a slur, “we should take a group photo. Something to commemorate our last night on this shitty rock!”

“What’s the point?” Lisa asked, “It’s not like we can bring it with us.”

“That doesn’t matter! It’s the act that counts, like making a toast!”

They gathered in the living room with a cellphone camera set up on a timer to take the group photo. Avery was in the center with Ashley hugging her right arm. Sara crouched in front, scowling and doing her best to position herself to cover Avery’s naughty bits. Lisa was to her left with one hand in her pocket and the other holding a drink.

“Three...Two...One...”

“Cheers!”