“Now that I stop to think about it, it just did not make any sense. What the hell were they thinking” Helen grumbled to herself as she remembered it all. The burning log she stared at only flickered with a few flames, not offering any other answer. “They organized the market, announced it across the unsecured air that they had goods to sell, and then had no real security there. What the hell were they all thinking? Or did they not think at all?” Back in the compound, it took weeks before things could return to order, weeks spend on getting adjusted to each other. Her brother and sister were ecstatic about having new company, but both Helen and her mom knew that could change fast as they learn that they now would have to share everything, even their mom’s attention. “Don’t worry, Mom. We have plenty. And I’ll finish the wind turbine in the next few days and then we’ll have everything we need. Heck, I have enough spare parts here to make two of them.” “I hope so,” her mom answered, the look of worry not leaving her face. “You know I could not leave them behind.” “Yes, I know. You did good. I’m very proud of you. And I think somehow I might have foreseen this event. Why else did I stack up on dry milk when I had a chance to spend the money on other things?” “Yes, and this way my little brother and sister won’t grow up alone.” “It will be a tough balancing act. Make sure that he does not get jealous. We’ll have to talk to him a lot. Pay attention to him, would you? Now he is the next oldest after you. You have to take him in.” “I know, Mom, I know,” Helen said. “You are my true warrior. The way you dealt with those people. Those monsters.” “Mom, I’m okay. You do not need to say it to make me feel better. They were people just like us, desperate people… Don’t need to turn them into monsters. The problem was if I did not kill them, I would have never come home.” “I know.” “They were ready to kill the kids. I mean, I had to do it.” “I know. I just hope you are okay with that, okay with knowing that you did the best you could have done. And the next time, you should do the same. Don’t hesitate. When it’s the right thing, there is really nothing to think about.” “I like to hear that, Mom. But you don’t need to worry about me. It’s the little one we have to worry about.” Helen knew why her mother worried so much about her. She could see it in her face, in her eyes, could see that somehow Helen has changed. But it was not because of the killing. Oh, no. It was that blue freakish screen that turned out not to be part of the flyer, turned out to be part of Helen. Helen did not truly know what it was. She tried to come to some logical conclusion, guest it was some kind of AI detection device, very advanced. What exact kind and how it got into her head, she had no clue of. Am I a droid? Is that why I feel no remorse for killing those folks? Because I really don’t. Not even a bit. He said, 'kill everyone'. And that guy would have listened to him. But he did hesitate. Would he have spared the kids and turned the gun on the man giving him an order and killed him? And then what? Take care of the kids? Answer to his boss? No, he has already done the killing of the others. Kids would have not made the difference. I think the only reason they survived was because they were playing inside those boxes and the shooter did not see them when he went through the market and shot everyone. No. He needed to die. I am so logical. Maybe I am a droid. Those were the thoughts that passed as shadows across Helen’s face, made her mom sick with worry. But Helen did not want to talk to her about it, making her more worried. Did my father know about this? Of course, he had to know. Was he a part droid too? And what does that mean? Maybe I should talk to my mom. But what if she does not have a clue and that destroys her completely? Who would take care of the kids then? It would all be on me. No. I can’t risk it. I need to look for the answers myself and find what is going on. She got a lot of her answers when the winter came back, her father appearing back together with the first snowstorm. Oh, yeah. The happiest day of her life. He walked in on them as they were having breakfast, opening the lock from the outside in a secretive manner even Helen did not know could be done. At first, she thought she was dreaming. Then her little brother, sister, and her mom screamed and rushed to hug him. “I’m fine, I’m fine,” was all he was saying. He knew. Helen knew he knew the moment their eyes met. She felt so happy, but then so mad. And then, seeing something deep inside his eyes, she felt sadness. A true sadness that rested there in his dark brown eyes, the kind that could not be put into words. “Are you okay?” he asked her. When she nodded her head, he hugged her, hard, maybe the hardest he ever did. And then whispered the words that made her eye drop tears she did not believe could ever come out. He said, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Millions of questions and answers. Her father getting to know Dancho and his little sister Morava, their baby brother Minso. Celebration into the night and day that followed. “I was taken by this… special organization,” he explained. “But I convinced them to bring me back,” he said it for the fifteenth time and then stared at Helen in a way that had no joy, only that sadness. When finally Helen’s mother decided to take all the kids and put them to bed, leaving them alone. Helen asked. He answered. “You’re not a droid,” patting her hair softly. “You’re a human being.” “So, you do know what is happening to me then?” “Yes. I… I need to explain. When it was obvious that the world is going to hell, I installed the chip inside of you and your brother. It came in a way of a capsule you drank. I mislead you, called it a vitamin pill, but what it did was implant a personal intelligence assistant inside of you. A chip of a kind, if that is easier to explain.” “Why?” “Had to. Had to get you ready. Among other things, it permitted me to track your progress. See your health status, your stamina, see how hard I could push you to make you better. If not for the chip, I would not have been able to know, would make mistakes.” “I understand. It does tell me my fatigue level, like right now…” Stamina: 98 percent “I may think I’m tired because it is way past my bedtime, but my stamina is almost a hundred percent.” “Yes. Because you’re hype up from my coming here. Full of adrenaline.” “So, you got this chip from… where exactly?” His father nodded his head as if admitting to himself that he was ready to say everything. “From this organization…” “It’s the same one that took you.” “Yes. I had no choice. It had to be done.” “And what they are called?” “The Core.” "Just that, the Core?" "Yes. That's how they call themsleves. And nobody else is supposed to know about them." “So, what did the Core want from you?” “Wanted me to go and work for them. They took me, promised to keep you safe. I have a debt to pay to them.” “What kind of work?” “The things I’m good at. Their projection matrixes.” “And how come they let you come back?” “Thinks have changed.” “What has changed?” “You saved lives. And that activated the Core in your system. That was not supposed to have happened. I came back because…” words seem to have stumbled inside his throat, tears sweating his eyes.”… to take care of your brothers and sisters now. But…” “But what, father?” “They want you. They want you to go.” The words hang in the air, Helen contemplating on them. “Are they bad folks?” Her father shook his head. “No. But it’s more complicated than that. They are… different. Not bad, but I’m not sure how good either. Either way, we have almost no choice.” Helen nodded her head. “For them just to take you and not let you contact your family letting us know you were okay...? That speaks volumes all by itself.” Her father sighed, looking at her with her tender eyes. “They have their reasons, their code, their behavioral matrixes. I can’t answer for them.” Helen nodded her head. She understood if this Core had the technology to plant something like that inside of her, there was a whole lot more than they were capable of doing, stuff she probably could not understand.” “Does mom know?” she asked as her father waited for her answer. “No.” That made Helen sigh. One of those times when her hero father was not much of a hero. A hard pill to swallow. “All this time and you did not tell her?” “I became the Core’s member a long time before we met. And-” “We need to tell her.” “It could break her. Break everything.” “Might. I mean… You really don’t need to tell her anything about you. I won’t either. Not fair, but I’ve seen how nervous she got. Do not want to put more pressure on her. But if I just disappear… that would be too much for her. You should have seen how scared she became. How fearful. Not knowing would break her even more. After what I have seen her going through on account of loosing you, I’m not hurting her even more.” “She might not understand. The Core has a secrecy clause. We can’t tell her…” “We won’t name names then. Don’t need to tell her the complete truth. Not what you can’t tell her. Don’t need to tell her what the Core is and what they do. But we have to tell her something. We can be smart about it. I found I can do that. Closest to the truth we can get. She needs to know I’m not lost. She needs to have hope.” More Helen thought, more it became clear. She had a plan. “Like, I need to go to keep us safe. Besides, it is better for you to stay and take care of them than if I do. It all makes sense. I need to tell her that I need to go. It is so clear, father. Why are you still thinking about it? And crying?” “Because I may never see you again.” Helen thought about that for a long time and then spoke with a calm determination in her voice, “Not if I have my way.” His face was there in front of her, the logs and night and forest around were just background noise. His kind face, his hard hug, her mother crying when they had to say goodbye, the smell of her hair when she hugged her for the last time… The smell… It was the stench of death that made Helen twitch and turn away from the fire, diving to the ground and rolling toward the darkness. For she knew what she smelled. Fucken Paleskins! The shaft came at where she sat just a second ago. Followed by half a dozen more. They wanted to sneak up on me, wanted me alive, eat me raw. Motherfuckers! Another dozen of shafts followed her as she raced toward the cover of the trees. One landing right next to her foot. Must be a lot of them, she realized and turned to look at the fire she left behind before the forest swallowed her view completely. Yeah, there were a lot of them. Everywhere the light of the fire and the moon chased the darkness away were Paleskins. Hundreds of them, thousands. And who knew how many were in the night. No wonder they stink up all the air. They came at her fast, from both flanks. She heard them before she could see them. Taking Mat’s broken sword out, she ducked and rolled over the ground to slash the kneecaps at the one closest, then jumped to her right side and closed the distance to the closest attacker to drive the sword through the paleskin’s throat, ripping it all open. I stand no choice in the forest. Need to make it to the clearance. Run faster there. And then the river. She knew her only choice was to make it to the river, swim across. Maybe fishies would get her, maybe they would not. She was a good swimmer, would not splash too much, cause too much motion and vibration. Wash all the blood I can of me as soon as I get in the water. Let those piranha’s come to the shallows. Could swim to the middle of the river and just let myself float. That was a good plan. Paleskiners were known to be bad swimmers. They would splash and fight the water and the fishies would come for them. For sure. If they decided to pursue her, it would be their own blood bath. So, yeah, she needed to get to the river. And no more blood spilling. She extended the sword in front of her, not really able to see anything in the dark, and moved as fast as she could, the sword stabbing the tree trunks and telling her to move to a side as she ran against them. The clearance of tall grass came as the arrows rained on top of her again, one almost piercing her shoulder. She ran all she could and dived in the river as soon as she made it to the banks. She stayed under the water, trying to wash her hands and face of the blood, and then, when she saw the first signs of Paleskins emerge on the banks, she swam toward the middle of the river. Two meters, five, ten… no fishes came to chew on her and she moved up to the surface of the quiet water for a breath of needed air. She looked around. A light, a traveling light in the middle of the river, a few hundred meters upstream. It was some kind of a barge, slowly flowing down the river. If she swam harder, she could catch it, especially if she yelled for them to throw a rope. But if she swam hard… she looked to the back, Paleskins standing next to the river, fearing even to tap it with their toes. Damn cowards! Swimming in the chilly river, something became clear to her, something about her father that before she could not add up, maybe because she trusted him so blindly. In reality, even after the wind turbines were taken from them, they had enough energy and food to last them for years. Once she did the numbers while constructing her own turbine, once she realized how much hydrogen backup power they really had, that became crystally clear. Her father knew that. And her father had misled them that there was an urgency to fix the power generator because he needed to leave. Because the Core wanted him, and he had to go, and he needed the excuse to leave the compound. To think she risked her life back then going to the flea market, trying to build a new generator all on account of not knowing the full extent of the truth, all on account of being afraid that they would not have enough power. She even killed two men because of it all. Not that they did not have it coming. All because the Core made her father mislead her. Fucken manipulators, Helen cursed them, cursed them all. How fucken' hard is to say the truth? “Hey, hey, help, help!! Throw me a rope! Help!” She yelled at the passing barge even before they could hear her. But the rope was thrown, almost hit her in the head. She wrapped it around her waist, hoping that it was not stained by blood or anything too fragrant, hoping that she was not to be a bait to chew on. They pulled her out with no problem, even threw a thick, wool blanket to warm her up. Then a man with deep facial lines and a long white beard, covered completely by a fancy silk light-blue cloak came to greet her and looked her deep in the eyes. “Hi, Helen,” he said with a smile on his lips. “We finally meet.” “You’re the Hight Priest, the First of Mages... the high class agent of the Core, almost a lord,” Helen said all surprised. Then she took a deep breath as she unsheathed Mat’s sword out and placed it slowly on the man’s shoulder. “Just the man I was looking for.”