(dont)

pickle pickle pickle pickle pickle!

On a scorching hot day in a lifeless field, you could hear the angry shouts of a boy as he smashed his hoe like a maniac on the dry rocky soil beneath his feet. It's a pretty strange sight isn't it? Unfortunately for my dignity, that boy was me.

Now, before you get the impression of me being a madman, I did have good reasons for that (cough, cough). Just a week ago, me and my mother were kicked out of our farm by a bunch of stuck-up peasants who didn't have morals whatsoever. Our soil was just a little more fertile than theirs! I had the urge to beat the heck out of them back then, but I think I would have just gotten a bunch of broken bones for naut. If only Aldka had law enforcement like the Capital! Not that they have any reason to send the police to help down here, but it's just wishful thinking, you know? In a nutshell, angry people smash things and that was what I was doing.

Wait, that wasn't a good reason? Okay then, the field was completely hardened into a somewhat hard substance and I really needed to break it all up into tiny chunks so that I could actually plant things in the soil. You could call me inventive for making use of my anger, no?

"Clank!"

A sharp clanking sound rang out in the air, distracting me from my mental monologue. And before you ask "Wasn't the field clanking like crazy already since you are smashing the rocks?", no, it wasn't the sound of rock. It sounded NOTHING like a rock in fact. From experience (AKA smashing the field like a madman for 10 minutes straight), I could tell that smashing a rock does not make such a sharp noise.

I smashed down a few more times in annoyance, thinking it was just a piece of buried pottery but the action only served to bury it deeper.

"Stupid piece of garbage!"

I angled the hoe's blade under the object and pushed, sending the item flying right into my face. Yeah, great idea right there. I wiped the dirt off my face, then stared at the foreign object on the ground.

It was chunk crystal the size of my fist with a small gash on it (from me smashing it). Swirls of moving white particles swam around the insides of the jewel, making the crystal look like a piece of hollow glass filled with grey liquid and some white glitter.

What?! I rubbed my eyes again, then stared at it again. There were no changes to its appearance. Next, I pinched myself real hard on the cheek. OWWW! Okay, (probably) not a dream. Wait, that means this is a mana crystal? I stared at it blankly for a few seconds, not believing my luck.

Snapping myself out of my daze, I had the urge to scoop up the darn thing and rush back home right away, but I suddenly thought of something. What if there were people nearby? The last thing I needed was to get my "precious" stolen by a bunch of filthy peasants (excluding me and my mother) yet again. I nervous peeked around, trying not to look suspicious while doing so.

For once, being in such a shitty spot played out in my favour; no one would want to farm in a place this terrible. Unless they were really desperate like me. I took the chance and scooped the jewel up, stuffing it into one of my pockets and running homeward.

Oh, and my hoe. I quickly turned back and grabbed my trusty hoe that I left on the ground, then sild it into its rightful holster on my back. Can't leave that behind, can I?

Fuelled by my excitement, I somehow managed to reach the front of my "house" (honestly, it's too shabby to be called a house) in what felt like minutes. I reached into one of my pockets and pulled out my key, then proceeded to fumble with the keyhole of the door (like a madman), trying to open the door as fast as possible. When did the lock become so hard to open?

Click!

The door finally open, I rushed in and slammed the door by accident.

"My goodness! You aren't trying to destroy our door are you? We are poor enough as it is!" My mother who was sorting the last of the grains we were left with didn't seemed too pleased.

"Who cares about that shitty door? Take a look at this!" I held up the jewel for her to see as she approached but she walked past me without looking, her target being the front door of the house (that annoyed me greatly).

"Look at what you've done! You are going to have half meals for a week for that!" She pointed at the cracks on the door, as she shouted.

"Seriously, just look at this already!" I had to wave the damned thing before her eyes before she would notice it.

"You-" She stopped herself, taking a better look. I found it oddly pleasing to see the shock on her face after how she tried to ignore my "presentation". "Is-is that a mana crystal?"

"Of course it is! That was what I was trying to show you the whole time!

After getting over her shock, she was just as excited as I was. We discussed about selling it in the Capital, but she felt worried that people might attempt to steal it during the carriage ride along the way. I then came up with the "brilliant" idea of walking to the Capital directly instead.

I left the "house" and headed off into the grassland that bridged Aldka and the Capital.

Having wandered for a while, I started to feel dizzy for some reason. That wasn't good. But wasn't I feeling perfectly fine minutes ago? Wait, did it have something to do with the mana crystal? I thought hard and managed to recall something I read from a book: 'high exposure to mana crystals without being a mage is a health hazard'. Shit! I thought of throwing the crystal away instead of risking it but I couldn't bear to abandon something of such value.

I suddenly thought of a good idea. Couldn't I could use a stick and a vine to hold the crystal away from me? That should work, right?

I used my hoe to dig a small hole in the ground, then tossed the crystal in. I then took the hoe and used the blade to hack off a large branch of a nearby tree. It wasn't that hard surprisingly. I then ripped off a bunch of vines on the same tree and got bitten by a bunch of ants in the process. After a quick game of "swat the ants" and some simple construction, I now had a long branch (that still had leaves) with a crystal tied onto its end with makeshift vine ropes. Behold, the crudest "magical staff" you will ever see!

I felt silly holding the floppy "staff", but at least I didn't feel dizzy anymore. Everything was now fine!

No. It wasn't.

After walking for a few more minutes, I heard the loud rumbling of wheels as a carriage approached from the distance. It had black paint smeared all over it, a clear sign that it was not a Capital Service Carriage. I was pretty sure it was approaching me, an almost certain sign that they were bandits after the crystal. It wasn't exactly inconspicuous for the crystal to be flopping in the air on a branch after all. Well, let's be positive. Maybe they are trying to buy the crystal from me (for a fair price) like a bunch of honest chaps?

"Boy, hand over the crystal if you do not want to be hurt!" Well, that went all my doubts that they were not bandits. The carriage stopped beside me.

"Are you deaf? Hand over the crystal if you don't want to die!"

A bearded man shouted from the windows. In response, I dropped the worst staff in the world on the ground.

"Take it." I said.

"Can't you pass it through the window?" The bearded man seemed really annoyed. I noticed his fellow thieves (two of them) were focused on a card game, leaving it to the beard to rob me. The driver wasn't paying attention either, busy munching on a candies from a bag and even tossing a few to the horses (which they seemed to enjoy a lot).

"The window is too small." I said, to annoy him more.

"Can't you just pass it through horizontally?"

"What does 'horizontally' mean?" (To annoy him even more.)

"Gah! Why is the peasant so stupid?" He started to fumble with the door of the carriage that seemed to have gotten stuck somehow (it reminded me of my key incident). Now, to voice my thoughts, I was really pissed. I was in no way willing to hand it over to him. Unfortunately, I didn't really have a choice in the matter.

But while watching him fumble with the jammed door and cursing "Rick, fucking fix the lock already! It's been jamming for a week!", I got a ridiculous idea. What if I stuck the one of the wheels of the carriage with my hoe? I could recall that it wasn't too hard for me to chop down that branch with it and I didn't see why I couldn't do the same to a flimsy wooden wheel. I quickly slid my tool out of my holster (which went unnoticed since beardy was busy fumbling with the door). I then swung with all my strength towards one of the wheels.

BANG!

To my relief, the wheel shattered. The carriage started to tilt ever so slightly, and I quickly bolted, hoping not to be crushed.

"What the fu-"

The bandits started screaming as the vehicle fell on its side. I prepared to run, but realised the carriage fell on the "staff". Shit, all that effort for nothing? The horses (they were far away enough not to get hit) then neighed loudly and started running, evidently frightened by the loud thump of the falling carriage. The ropes attached to them pulled taut, and the fallen carriage was dragged off as the bandits screamed and cursed.

Wow, that was convenient.

I stared at the twisted "staff" that was crushed and then run over by the carriage. I then grabbed it and started running away as fast as I could.