Sepeti’s head ached. Throbbed, really. He was beyond tired, beyond fatigued. And his social interaction capacity had long been exhausted. He was running on fumes.

Rubbing his temples didn’t help. Massaging his neck was useless. Nothing short of absolute seclusion could cure him at this point.

Yet here he sat, surrounded by monsters of all shapes and sizes, noisily clamoring for his attention. The large snake, who was the progenitor of this mess, preened as it coiled itself around him.

“Sit, lay, relax hue-man,” it said, sounding like it was trying to seduce him. It pressed its large body against his back as it made itself into a makeshift cushion.

“Relax,” Boba echoed as he barely suppressed his snickering.

Sepeti thought up all the expletives he could remember, hurling them at the God. Boba’s laughter increased, bouncing around his exhausted brain.

The dragon raised its head and the monsters fell quiet.

“Human, we ask again. What word do you bring us from our Most High?”

Sepeti sighed as he sat up straight, ears still ringing with the God’s cackling. He looked around the room and really tried to take in his surroundings. He was in a cavernous… cavern. Its walls rose far beyond what his weak vessel could perceive. He realized that there were no lights, no fires going to illuminate the enclosed space, yet he could see relatively well. Upon further inspection, he noticed that the cave walls exuded a strange illumination. Not enough to completely light up the whole room but it was adequate.

The strangest thing was how he perceived most of the monsters. On a cursory glance, they looked normal, like any animal a person would encounter on a random day. But closer inspection revealed that all he was able to make out were the shadowy outlines of each of them. Finer details eluded him no matter how hard he tried to comprehend. The only ones he could actually ‘see’ were the dragon, the mammoth that had picked him up earlier, and the large snake. Even the blocky one was slightly hazy.

The dragon cleared its throat as it moved its head to catch his gaze. It had what almost looked like a nervous smile as its eyes darted back and forth, seemingly urging him to answer his question.

“Well,” Sepeti began, considering his words. Boba hadn’t told him a damned thing. And bullshitting religious zealots had never been his forte. “I’ll need a quiet place to meditate and get in contact with Bo-- God Boba.”

The dragon's smile dropped. It had obviously been hoping for some sort of prophetic truth. Sepeti found it curious how nervous this dragon was acting. Was it really a dragon? He thought dragons were supposed to be otherworldly and wise and full of confidence.

It leaned close and dropped its voice to a whisper. “I think we should talk. In private. But I’ll need you to give the rest of the Nifa something to placate them.”

Sepeti glanced around the cavern once more, giving the assorted monsters a cursory second look. They all seemed agitated, nervous, wary. Even without being able to make out more than their shadowy outlines, he could feel the palpable weight of their expectations.

He wanted to squirm. He wanted to roll around and cry. He wanted to throw a tantrum. This was way too many sentient beings focusing on him at once.

His anxiety hit the roof as he felt the hated anxious fingers lightly raking up and down his back and arms. He suddenly felt so hot. The loose shirt was too tight. It was suffocating him. He began clawing at his throat, tugging on the wide collar of his dingy borrowed shirt.

Something hard and metallic laid out on his head. The coolness was refreshing.

“Take a deep breath,” the dragon cooed in his ear. “Nice and long. In your nose and out your mouth.”

Sepeti focused on the dragon's rumbling voice. His breathing began to slow as he followed its instructions. The tension in his chest slowly loosened. Every muscle in his body relaxed as he took his time breathing. The pressure that had been weighing down on his brain eased with each passing breath.

He gave himself space as he fell into a semi-meditative state. Embarrassment tried to bubble up and destroy his forced calm but he resisted. Old habits, even after so many years, died hard.

“This is getting boring.” Boba’s voice shattered his calm as a strange prickling filled his body. Something ripped, loudly, as his vision suddenly shifted as if he’d been thrown back from where he was sitting atop the mammoth. Everything felt floaty and odd as he hovered above his host body.

You have been {Possessed}

Sepeti reached out to his body as understanding dawned. The idiot God was doing something. He watched as a miasma emanated from every pore of his feeble vessel. The body jerked as the strange mist coalesced around it.

“Stupid human body,” an unfamiliar voice complained. It was ethereal and wispy yet utterly domineering. Every animal-shaped monster in the room instinctively sensed something was in their midst. They fell to their stomachs, prostrating before this miasmic thing.

The dragon lowered its head, it seemed it was able to resist to some degree. The large snake froze, ceasing its endless coiling and slithering atop the mammoth. The mammoth appeared to have fainted on its feet.

“Boba, give me my host body back!” Sepeti yelled. His voice sounded and felt muffled like something had been stuffed down his throat. “Boba!”

His yelling met deaf ears. None of the monsters acknowledged him and his possessed body barely reacted.

“Be a good boy and relax for a little. I’m just gonna address my adoring constituents for a little. Take this as a sort of reprieve, at least you don’t have to talk to them yourself.” The odd voice he was used to hearing made his spirit tingle. Rage welled up. It was tiring being so overly emotional. He was giving himself whiplash.

His possessed body waved a hand like it was greeting someone before realizing none of the monsters were looking at it. The God within chuckled, a deep booming laugh that filled the cavern.

“Rise, my children. Look upon the face of your God and rejoice.”

Sepeti rolled his eyes at the God’s pretentious attitude. Who the hell did he think he was?

The monsters hesitated. In his spirit form, Sepeti noticed that he was much more attuned than when he was confined in the host body. His hearing and eyesight were nearly one hundred times better than before. And his ability to think had increased. He chalked it up to being an aftereffect of his leftover spiritual energy and the body being unable to fully process the grandeur of his painstakingly refined spirit. He’d probably find more success as a shade, free of the constraints of an untrained body.

After a few seconds, the monsters still hadn’t moved from their bowed positions. Boba cleared his throat. Tried to clear his throat, it seemed he didn’t have much practice being within a mortal vessel.

“You can all look on my glorious visage. Come come.”

The only one that dared move was the dragon. It inched closer, head still bowed as it avoided the gaze of the possessed body.

“Most High,” it whispered. Sepeti was a bit disappointed to see a glorious dragon acting so humble. “Your… presence is too much for many of us. If you can just reign it in, just a tad, then we would be able to revel in the glory of your being.”

“Oh,” Boba grunted as he felt around the body like he was looking for a pocket he’d misplaced. “That. Yes, I’ll take care of that.”

The thick miasma that was coiling around the host body thinned as Boba seemed to suck it in. Sepeti couldn’t help but imagine a rotund gentleman he had known during his previous life who was prone to sucking in his gut when he was around other people.

“Is that better, dragon-child?” Boba sounded like he was trying to speak quietly but he couldn’t quite grasp the concept of quiet.

“Just a little more, Most High,” the dragon responded, finally able to bring itself to look at him. It looked so incredibly nervous, its face twitched as it spoke.

Boba strained as he continued to suck in his leaking miasma. Yeah, he definitely gave off the air of a large person who wasn’t used to being confined to small spaces.

“Thank you, Most High,” the dragon said as the monsters stirred. Quite a few stayed still. Sepeti was able to tell that they had fainted, just like the mammoth. Was it really such a big deal to be in the presence of a God? He’d been in the presence of two at one time, they hadn’t caused much trauma for him. Granted, one was a recording, but no one else would be aware of the difference.

“Good,” Boba squeaked as he let out a sigh. The miasma appeared ready to spill out but he seemed to have it under control. Sepeti noticed that the poor host vessel was straining under the pressure the God was exuding on it. “Now, I’ll be brief as this vessel is already nearing its limit. My one and only commandment stands as it always has, live free and survive. Don’t let a few measly humans change things for you all.”

A low hum filled the room as the excitement levels grew. What they were getting excited about, Sepeti had no clue. Religious zealots were all the same, he was pretty sure they were actively misinterpreting Boba’s nonsense.

“Oh, and don’t let my Speaker out of your sight. He is an exemplary human monster. Don’t let his appearance fool any of you, he is a bonafide monster on the inside.”

Boba’s insane cackling filled Sepeti’s head as it was accompanied by loud whooshing. Something grabbed his ethereal form and sucked him back into the feeble host. A sense of loss flooded him as all his senses were immediately dulled. The miasma faded, drifting up and away as it mixed with the darkness of the upper cavern walls.

Once he settled in the body, overwhelming exhaustion assaulted him. He collapsed, Boba’s laughter haunting him even in unconsciousness.

Sepeti was back. He rushed through the battlefield, Machina bouncing off of him with each slight movement. He could sense his team raining destruction all around him, shattering metallic monsters with their weapons as they struggled to keep up with him.

“Peti!” A familiar feminine voice called. A beautiful woman waved at him as she ripped a giant Machina’s head clean off its shoulders with her other hand. “You’re late, as usual! Join the party!”

Some said she was the most beautiful woman in all existence. Some believed she was the reincarnation of the God of Beauty, descended to bless the sterile world with her presence. Even amongst the chaos of the battlefield, explosions surrounding her as the shrieks of hundreds and thousands of metal monstrosities filled the air, she was radiant. As radiant as a flower blooming amongst a field of shit.

Sepeti grimaced as he laid eyes on her. A pit formed in his stomach and he immediately turned and began running the other way. He had to get away from her. She talked too much and would drain his social interaction meter, self-imposed, at an ungodly rate. He just wanted to destress by mowing down countless Machina, not get caught in a conversation with the world’s most conversational person.

As he turned, the woman waved at him again as she ripped the Machina’s head off its shoulders yet again.

“Hi Peti!” She flashed a smile that spelled his doom.

“What the hell,” he murmured as he swerved once again, turning away from the waving woman and dashing further into the mass of metallic bodies.

After a few steps, he was sure he had put enough distance between them. He couldn’t let her get started, that would be the end of his day and it had only just begun.

“Peti!” The woman called his name in a sing-songy manner as he looked up, his reverie shattered. Again, she ripped the head off a giant Machina as she waved at him. He noticed that she was wearing lipstick and that some of it had stained her teeth. Who the hell wore lipstick to a battlefield?

“Peti!” The same voice called his name but from behind him. He turned and found the exact same scene. This time, the woman was dressed in a skimpy outfit, barely covering her figure.

What the hell was going on?

The woman called his name again. And again. And again. Every way he turned, his name was called. Soon, the battlefield was populated by nothing but the smiling face of the woman he despised the most.

“Peti! Peti! Peti!” They chanted his name in unison, smiles growing wider with each second. They crowded him, suffocating him with their presence and the mere reminder of her ability to drain him.

Sepeti felt fear. Existential dread spread through his body, weakening his limbs and making him want to curl into a ball.

“Peti!” The voice rushed at him.

Sepeti bolted upright. He was coated in a light layer of sweat, his loose shirt clung to his chest. Groggily, he cast about. He wasn’t too sure what he was looking for, but he was looking for something.

“Speaker.” The dragon’s voice startled him. He looked up and his eyes adjusted to the low light. Unlike the cavern he’d been in before, this one was much darker. It felt cozier.

“You are finally awake, Speaker. Thank Boba.” The dragon sounded glum.

“I am,” Sepeti said. “What’s happened?”

“The humans have begun their assault.” There was a tinge of sadness to the dragon’s words.

“Ok.” Sepeti found himself at a loss for words. He couldn’t quite parse what any of it meant. The moody dragon didn’t help. He would have expected it to sound angry or aggressive. Weren’t dragons supposed to be territorial and overprotective of their belongings?

The dragon sighed as its head drooped. Its shadowy form appeared to have laid back down, sleek head resting on its forelegs.

“Shouldn’t you be… out there fighting them?” Sepeti asked.

“I don’t…” the dragon's deep voice trailed off as it mumbled something incoherent. Sepeti strained to hear what it was mumbling about but his feeble body limited him.

“What was that?” he said, half yelling. “Speak up, I can’t hear you.”

“I don’t like fighting…” Again, their mumbled words trailed off into the ether.

“You don’t like fighting? You’re a dragon, isn’t that what you guys do other than eat, sleep, and hoard?”

“No,” it rumbled, lifting its head. It paused for a second before looking at, what Sepeti assumed to be, the entrance to the side cave. Finding whatever it was looking for, it blurted out its full sentence in one go.

“Idontlikefightinghumans.”

It took Sepeti a couple seconds to dissect what it had said but he eventually caught up.

“How could you not like fighting humans? You’re a fuckin’ dragon. Aren’t they beneath you?”

The dragon let out another long sigh as it laid its head down again. “I knew you wouldn’t understand. You aren’t one of us.”

“What’s there to understand? Obviously, I’m not a monster like you guys.”

“No, not that. Maybe you just aren’t what I’d been hoping for.”

Sepeti tutted, smacking his lips loudly. This damned dragon was looking down on him and it barely even knew anything about him. It was also incredibly tiring having to drag every morsel of information out of the damned thing and he hadn’t even learned much. Why couldn’t other sapient beings just speak plainly and lay everything out?

“You’re the sorriest dragon I’ve ever met,” Sepeti spat, having a hard time containing his contempt for the beast. He was willing to give it the benefit of the doubt just because it was a dragon, what with it being one of the few mythical beasts he’d never had a chance to interact with in his previous life due to them being extinct. But this was ridiculous. “I’m out. You stupid monsters can handle these humans how you like.”

“Wait!” the dragon jumped to its feet and shifted its body, blocking the exit. “You can’t go. You’re Boba’s Speaker. That means you’re linked to us, one way or another.”

Sepeti couldn’t help but notice the subtle change in its speaking pattern. Damned dragon spoke properly for show.

“So? I don’t owe that idiot God a damned thing. He needs me more than I need him. All that bullshit he spewed when he took over my body doesn’t mean a damned thing.”

The dragon gasped. “You can’t speak of a God like that! That’s blasphemy!”

“I thought you’d be a lot cooler, seeing as you’re a dragon and all. But you’re just another snivelling little mortal shit. Get out of my way!” Sepeti hobbled forward, forcing his numb legs to move. He’d had enough, this disappointing dragon was just the shit topping on his already shitty cake that he’d been forced to eat all day.

“No!” the dragon roared as it stood to its full height and spread its wings. He had to admit, it was still pretty damned cool looking even though it had failed to retain any of its cool factor after opening its mouth.

You have been {Stunned}

Sepeti groaned as the status ailment spiked its way through his body, freezing him in place.

“You cannot leave!” the dragon’s voice rumbled through him, shaking him to the core. “God Boba decreed that you are his Speaker and, as such, you will remain under the wing of the Nifa.”

“Shut up!” Sepeti yelled back as the stun wore off. “I ain’t doing nothing for his dumb ass!”

New Skill Acquired!

|Blasphemous Tongue|

The dragon flinched under the assault of his heretical words. Finally, a skill that he might actually find a good use for.

“You idiots worship an idiot who doesn’t even know how to God properly! Blindly following his idiotic words when he doesn’t even know what the hell he’s talking about!”

Sepeti stepped forward, pushing the dragon back with his words.

“Y-you d-don’t know what y-you’re saying,” the dragon murmured, back legs slumping as its rear hit the ground with a thump. “Y-you k-keep talking l-like that a-and--”

“Shut up and get outta my way! I’m outta here!” Sepeti walked up to the dragon as confidently as his stilted gait would allow. “Move, dragon.”

Reluctantly, the dragon scooted out of his way, head down as it avoided his gaze.

Sepeti hobbled out of the ante-cave and into the larger cavern. It was completely empty. The sound of monsters making all their weird noises leaked into the cave as he walked towards what he assumed was the exit. He was too annoyed to care what would happen when he walked out into the field even though something in his gut told him he was only making things worse.

As he approached a long and wide corridor leading to the mouth of the cave he could make out what the monsters were clamoring about.

“What are the humans doing?!”

“They are erecting something!”

“We should attack now!”

“They aren’t even looking our way!”

Somehow, the monsters sensed his approach. They reverently parted as a few announced his presence.

“The Speaker is here!”

“God Boba’s Speaker will tell us what to do!”

“You’re all idiots,” Sepeti said as he continued his walk. His leg ached and he wished he had taken the time to look for his walking stick but there was no turning back now. “Just sit there and die for all I care.”

He could feel the confusion spreading amongst the monsters as he finally exited the part of the cave they had set up in.

“Halt! Who goes there?!” A large man in thick studded leather armor called out to him from where they stood, weapon at the ready, at the true mouth of the cave. He was accompanied by two others, similarly dressed in matching uniforms.

Sepeti raised his arms, glancing back at the group of milling shadow monsters. Their eyes gave away their positions but they didn’t seem to attract the soldier’s attention. He got the feeling that he was the only one who was able to see the monsters at this time.

“Just me, a very friendly yet very lost little human,” Sepeti replied as he continued walking towards the trio.

“I said halt!” the man yelled again, pointing his polearm at Sepeti.

He complied, hands still in the air.

“It might be one of those mimic monsters,” one of the soldiers said. “I’ve heard about them being able to mimic humans after they reach a certain level.”

“Are you a mimic monster?!” the loud one yelled.

“No,” Sepeti deadpanned. How stupid could these guys be? “I’m totally normal.”

“That’s what a monster would say,” the other soldier said as he leveled his weapon as well, a spear. Why were these idiots planning on entering a cave with long weapons as their main arsenal? Did they know that the inner cavern was huge or were they just guessing?

This planet made his head hurt as the list of stupid things continued to grow.

“Shoot it,” the loud one ordered as the last of the trio nocked an arrow to their bow.