Against Cecile’s very insistent word, Ruhak had joined the crew of pirates and now Ascommani on a trip to the salvage they’d been using to find planks. It was the third day of working on the galley for him and his allies, and it was going along swimmingly.

Yes, there was the looming threat of the black powder weapons atop the giant armored ship constantly circling the island, but Ruhak was feeling optimistic. It was mostly thanks to Taya, as she had made it a habit to squash any paranoias, he thought up before he could say them.

Ruhak had accompanied this group of salvagers primarily because his wires were useful for stripping off wood or helping to bind things. Bjorn had gone with him, now that the Ascommani was up on his feet again. Ruhak still wanted to ask what all the looks from the other Ascommani were about. But that was likely a private matter Bjorn would tell him about when he wanted to share.

He listened in on the conversations between the pirates and Ascommani. Apparently, a high number of ships crashed on the south shore. A wise sailor rarely traveled this neck of the Isles, but it made for a handy shortcut from Hikuptah to Koinelia instead of sailing around the Isles. But currents led to unfortunate places.

Of course, the ever-more invincible ironclad was too heavy to be dragged in by such currents.

Some men gossiped about bodies they’d seen in the wreckage. They almost always wore old military uniforms. Perhaps a fleet had crashed there all together. Though, it would have to be a rather nasty crash for so many to die on the shore.

As they spoke, Ruhak tugged at a cape that wasn’t there. He was still accustomed to his uniform during his time in the military.

“Here it is, boys.” the rugged pirate named Ricco announced, “Though I’ll be honest, it was more scenic before we started moving things around.”

Ruhak followed him down a somewhat steep path through the fringes of the woods and onto yet another pearly white beach.

The wreck comprised about five or six dromons. Some of them looked as though they’d been impaled on the jagged rock formations Ruhak could view upon peering further out. One ship was barely more than just a frame. Though it was too small to accommodate the longer ship the pirates owned.

“Alright, we haven’t cracked into the furthest one down for supplies yet. Hikupti, you wanna help us break in?” Ricco asked.

Ruhak nodded without responding and followed a small group of pirates and Ascommani, including Bjorn

The ship furthest from where they came onto the beach was probably the most decrepit of the wrecked dromons, which was really saying something.

With Ruhak’s help, they stripped off two decently intact planks from the bottom of the hull. They lit a few torches and stepped into the broken down imperial warship. Ruhak ascended to the upper deck and was startled by the sight of a bleached skeleton in imperial armor, wrist tied to the mast. The corpse’s uniform looked eerily like his own when he served.

The deck was plenty sturdy and could probably be put to good use. Using his abilities, he ripped out several nails telekinetically and called for a few people to help him move the planks.

“Hey, see if that skeleton has anything useful on him.” One pirate suggested, “Whether to sell or somethin’ like a compass.”

Ruhak knelt down next to the corpse and rifled through its lamellar armor and woolen tunic. The dead man had a rusted dagger on his belt and a scroll attached to the back. He reached under the corpse’s filthy red cape and felt a small medallion underneath.

Ruhak pulled the medallion out that identified what fleet this group of boats belonged to.

Classis Hikuptae. Ruhak whispered the words on his lips, but no sound came out.

He dropped the medallion, the clanking of the metal against the wood echoing in his mind like the loosing of ballistae. The crash of waves sounded like roars of thunder on the seas. The voices of the pirates came as desperate pleas for mercy while every plank that was stripped off a ship became indistinguishable from the noise of dromons cracking under the pressure of a Qahtanad ram.

It was then that Ruhak understood just how isolated they were on this island, separated from the main fleet and once again prone to attack.

The scent of saltwater sickened him to his core, causing him to clasp a hand over his mouth to keep from vomiting. The rocking of The Apophis as it weathered both storm and assault made him sway on solid ground.

How many were on those ships? How many were killed after only two of them escaped?

Lower the sail. We row through the Isles.

Those words echoed in his head like the shriek of a bird he desperately wanted to kill.

If only he could’ve stopped them. If only he knew Narama was Qahtanad territory.

Ruhak?

He never asked for command. He knew it didn’t suit him.

Ruhak!

Even now, the souls of all those who he had sent to die begged him for help.

“Ruhak!”

The Hikupti blinked, his eyes bleary from tears that had welled up in his eyes. Bjorn held him roughly by the shoulders.

“What happened?”

Ruhak let out a quivering sigh as he looked towards the bleached skeleton. “I, um...I...I...this fleet. Sorry...I was j-just,” Ruhak took a deep breath, “It’s nothing.”

“You sure?” Bjorn asked, concern apparent on his face.

Ruhak nodded, “Let’s get all this stuff back to the beach.”

“Alright.” Bjorn said, seeming unconvinced, “If you ever need to...I don’t know, talk about...stuff...well, I’m not exactly the best in the world at listening to people, but you’re my friend. I’ll do my best.”

Ruhak nodded, “I’ll be fine. But thank you.”

As Bjorn walked off, Ruhak spared another glance towards the skeleton. Though it was absurd, he hated himself for not recognizing it.

Of all the damn shipwrecks in the world, it had to be this one. The one that reminded him to give up on his dreams he’d had since childhood.

There were no heroes. Only regular folk and killers.

_____________________________________________________________________________

Bjorn took a whiff of the stew in his hands as he walked down the beach. Because of their food shortage, it was made mostly of what they could forage from the island. Normally, he wouldn’t have suspected it, were it not cooked up by the pirates.

But his skepticism about the food quickly made way for his grumbling stomach. He had eaten little these last few days.

Just as he was about to try a bit, someone hit his shoulder hard enough for half of the stew and his spoon to fall out onto the sand.

“Son of a-” Bjorn cut off as he saw the two Ascommani walk away as though he wasn’t there. Instead, he simply picked up his spoon and kept walking, trying to get all the sand off it.

He glanced up at his destination, the lumberyard that Taya had started building up. She was dragging in a bundle of smaller trees as Bjorn approached.

“Oh, hey Bjorn.” Taya sighed. Sweat glistened on her brow and toned abdomen.

“I would say you’re due for a break. Wanna come eat with me?” Bjorn asked.

Taya peered into his bowl. “Of course I would. But shouldn’t you have asked me before you were halfway done?”

“Oh, uh...I spilled some on accident. Besides, eating with people isn’t really about the food, is it?” Bjorn chuckled.

“You have a point.” Taya shrugged, “Be back in a flash.”

She leapt across the beach with lightning speed, kicking up sand in her wake that Bjorn was careful to protect what remained of his stew from. She dashed back to him just as fast with a full bowl of stew. Then she poured a good half of it into his bowl.

“You don-”

“You need the strength, Bjorn. You’re bigger than I am. And still in rough shape. Besides, my power doesn’t operate any worse if I’m a bit peckish.” Taya said.

“Thanks.” Bjorn muttered.

They took a seat on one of the many logs Taya had dragged back from the forest.

“Bjorn, you know me. I’m not gonna dwell on any small talk. I’ve seen what’s been going on around here for the past three days. Why do you let them push you around? Your countrymen, I mean.”

Bjorn sighed. He knew this was coming. But he thought that perhaps being alone with her might...well, he didn’t know what exactly. He just felt like it would be easier. She would make him tell her, eventually.

“Because I deserve it.” Bjorn said.

“Bullshit.” Taya retorted.

“What do you mean ‘bullshit’?”

“I mean that answer is as wrong as winter is cold.” Taya said.

“What do you know?” Bjorn asked defensively.

“What I know is what I’ve seen after traveling with you for a month and a half.” Taya said, “Don’t think ostracization to this level is deserved by someone as passionate and honest as yourself.”

Bjorn chuckled emptily, “That’s high praise.”

“It’s not praise. It’s true.”

Bjorn sighed again, “You don’t get it. It’s not about who I am.”

“Then let me understand, Bjorn.” Taya placed a consoling hand on his arm, “You’re gonna tire of telling people they don’t get it, eventually. And...I care you aren’t miserable.”

“I...I don’t think you should. I care about you too. But...I don’t want what we have to be-”

“Have a little more faith in me, Bjorn.” Taya insisted with pleading eyes. “I will not abandon you over something you did in your past. All I care about is the Bjorn in front of me. Because that’s the only Bjorn that really exists. But keeping secrets from the people you care about most? You might think you’re protecting me, but what good is that if you push me away in the process?”

Bjorn hesitated before muttering, “Alright. I’ll tell you. But don’t even breathe a word to anyone, okay?”

Taya nodded, “Baby steps.”

“When I was twelve years old, Katla became my shieldmaiden. I joined a warrior rank of boys three or four years older than me.” Bjorn said, “I held my own and even excelled among them. I was a brilliant warrior. Not to be conceited, but...it was true.”

“And still is.” Taya reminded him.

“And still is. But the attention of every shipmaster was on me. They wanted me and Katla for their raiding parties when she came of age. We joined up with the most elite warriors in our kingdom, the Jomsvikings.” Bjorn explained, “Katla and I had been extremely close during our partnership, but it never became anything...more than just a good friendship. At the time, I wanted more, but I was more than willing to respect her wishes if she didn’t want what I wanted.”

“Did you tell her about what you wanted?”

Bjorn shook his head. “I was going to. But before then, I accidentally found her in the Jomsviking’s mead hall fucking Askel, a berserkir then joined up with them about five years before. They didn’t notice me and I said nothing because it was her business. I wasn’t even upset. I was even happy for them, in fact.”

“So what happened?”

“When the men were training on their own for our upcoming raid, I overheard Askel boasting about how he convinced girls from the graduating rank to sleep with him on the promise of getting their duos a place among the Jomsvikings.” Bjorn muttered, “I didn’t want to pull any big stunts while I was unsure of his claims, but if he really was doing such a thing...I had to stop it. I’m not normally the very proactive type, but I couldn’t just ignore him.”

“I went and watched him coerce a Jarl’s daughter into his bed one night. The day after, I confronted him about it. He denied everything, but I eventually caught him in a lie. After that, he...he...he tried to buy me off. But not with money. He said he would...overdose Katla with berserkir brew, so I could do whatever I wanted to her.”

Bjorn wasn’t watching Taya, instead opting to just stare at the ground.

“I snapped. I shoved him to the ground and started beating him. Everything was kind of...blurry after that. I just had one thought swirling around in my head: Make him look uglier than a troll.” Bjorn said, “But I’d attracted a crowd. And before I could do anything, he spun the narrative to make it look like I was following Katla around and attacked him out of jealousy. I tried to call him out on his lie, but...well, Askel was a well-respected warrior. And I was a new recruit.”

“They didn’t believe you.” Taya said.

Bjorn nodded, “Not only that, but they threatened to kick me out of the order. I only stayed because of my promise as a warrior. But they gave Katla a different partner. She believed him, too. The only victory I gained was that Askel left Katla after that. And she still hates me to this day for it. On my first raid...well, it was drawn onto my skin at first, but I woke up with a Plague Scar after the first night, so they dumped me off at the island.”

Taya’s hand covered her mouth, a look of sorrow and despair across her face. “By the gods, Bjorn. I’m sorry.”

“It was my fault.” Bjorn shook his head. “I should’ve learned when I was young. Anytime I stick my neck out, it always ends in failure.”

“Don’t say that.” Taya pleaded. “Bjorn, never say that.”

“Why?” Bjorn choked up as he stood. “It’s fucking true! Every damn time I’ve ever tried to do anything, I’ve fucked it up. Askel disgraced me. Yahui got the best of me, and that got us stranded out here. And yet I keep trying without even wanting to.”

Taya wrapped her arms around Bjorn and pulled him close to her in a stiff embrace, immobilizing Bjorn for a moment before he returned the hug. Her hand found its way to the back of his head and pressed his brow into her shoulder as tears of impotent rage welled up in his eyes.

“I know you’re frustrated, Bjorn. I get that. What’s happened to you isn’t fair.” she whispered soothingly. “Nothing in life is fair. But please promise me you’ll never stop trying. Never stop sticking your neck out. You may think it’ll inevitably lead to failure, but you have to believe that it will work out in the end. You are the master of your own fate, Bjorn Stormtamer. Don’t let Despair take you away from me.”

Bjorn was quietly sobbing now, his tears hidden within her bosom.

“It’s okay to fail. Success will only ever come after failure. With every failure, you’ll pick yourself up. You’ll emerge a better person each time. All you have to do is believe in yourself. And if that won’t happen, believe in me. Because I believe in you.” Taya continued.

Bjorn forced himself to calm down, though he was still shaking with each breath, “It’s just...it’s just so hard. How are we expected to live like this?”

“I know. I know it is. It’s especially hard to go it alone. But we have no choice. And that’s okay. Besides, with friends it...it gets a bit easier.”

Bjorn brought his head up and looked into her eyes. Her beautiful, stormy grey eyes. He never noticed their color before.

“No matter what happens, I will never give up on you, Bjorn.” Taya said, “I know you have the potential to be even greater than I. All you have to do is fight. Even when it seems hopeless. Even when you feel impotent, fight to your last breath.”

“But...what if you’re wrong? What if we’re just crazy?” Bjorn asked, “How do you know?”

“No one knows anything, Bjorn. And frankly, the best among us humans are often considered mad. So don’t be afraid to be stupid or crazy. You have to be in order to live. The only truth that matters to us is the one we believe in.”

Bjorn clenched his fist.

“I...ok.” He muttered, “I’ll try. I won’t let Katla and her men push me around anymore.”

“Good,” she smiled and for an instant, Bjorn thought it could light up the entire world if given the chance.

Gods, Stormtamer, when did you get so sappy?

“Not to ruin the moment, but I do need to get about three more trees felled by the end of tonight.” Taya said sheepishly.

“Oh,” Bjorn said, “I can help.”

“The last thin you need right now is another distraction. Just...if you ever feel frustrated or angry or...whatever, come talk to me, okay? I’ll always be there to listen.”

Bjorn nodded, “Same here.”

“Thanks.” Taya smiled.

Taya made a move to leave before Bjorn caught her wrist. “Wait. Um...could you talk to Ruhak for me? He...I don’t know, something was wrong at the salvage. Something about his past. He seemed pretty distraught.”

“What am I, a confessor suddenly?” Taya chuckled, “Sure. I can speak to him. Actually, I need to speak to a lot of people today about esoteric nonsense and fate-of-the-world stuff.”

“Thank you. You’re the best.” Bjorn smiled.

“I know.”

__________________________________________________________________________

Ruhak turned the medallion over in his fingers as Taya took a seat next to him on the beach overlooking the sea.

“Bjorn says you’re sad. What’s up?” she asked plainly.

“I don’t really see how it’s any of your business.” Ruhak muttered, “Or Bjorn’s.”

“Yeah, because bottling it up seems to be going really well for you, idiot.” Taya said.

“I just don’t wanna talk about it.”

“We don’t have to. But we have to talk about getting you out of this...well, it’s only been an afternoon, so I wouldn’t call it a rut. But I can see it easily becoming one. I figure I can help you more easily if you give me some context here.”

“My life and my past are my concern and mine alone. I mean this in the nicest way possible, but please fuck off. I didn’t ask for your help,” Ruhak growled.

“Even if it is your business, you clearly have some regrets. And you’re dwelling on them. That’ll end up hurting more than just yourself.”

“I don’t care.”

“I don’t believe that.” Taya said. “Why are you here, Ruhak? Why are you on this journey with me?”

“Because we’re friends?”

“We are now. Not when we started.” She reminded him.

“Oh. Yeah.”

“So why are you here?”

“To…” Ruhak hesitated, “I...I don’t know. I just kinda...followed along.”

“Hm. I was right about you.” Taya sighed.

“What do you mean you’re right about me?”

“I’ve been keeping a close eye on all of you. What your motives are, how you present yourselves and whatnot. Because I need people that can help refound the Companies.” Taya explained, “But you...you just do stuff you’re told to do, regardless of who tells you. You’re smart, but you don’t seem to have anything going on in the big picture. I mean...what do you want out of life?”

“To be happy.” Ruhak said.

“That’s what everyone wants. How do you intend to get there?”

“Well, you can’t really force yourself to be happy. Everyone has their own way to get there. I figured it would just kind of...come to me.”

“That there is one of the biggest lies humanity has ever been told.” Taya said, “Everyone finds happiness the same way: through something that gives them meaning. It could be God, art, a cause, anything you want so long as it fulfills you.”

“So? I’ll figure out what it is, eventually.”

“Sure you will if you try for it. And you can’t try for anything if you don’t want it. That’s your issue, Ruhak. You’re complacent. You don’t want enough.”

“The fuck do you know?” Ruhak snapped.

“Really? You’re waiting around for the universe to drop your meaning into your lap. You’re waiting for the regret you feel to just go away instead of dealing with it yourself.” Taya said, “They say time heals all wounds, but time itself makes it worse. If you don’t use medicine or bandages on a wound, time only makes the wound fester. If you want to be happy, you have to be the one to make yourself happy. You have to want to be happy.”

“Stop acting like you know everything about me.” Ruhak growled, “You know, I seriously have a problem with how you always act holier-than-thou and lord it over me.”

Taya frowned, “You think my advice is supposed to me showing off?”

“How else am I supposed to think when you keep acting like you’re better than me?”

Taya ground her teeth. She’d heard this before from others. Weakness spread like a disease or a cancer. His lack of ambition was poisoning his humility.

“I give a damn that you don’t stagnate in your bond and stop becoming a better person. I give a damn if you’re happy in life. I don’t expect thanks, but I can at least ask that you don’t look at the way I live my life and think I’m trying to prove that I’m better than you?”

“But you are. You always hold yourself up like you’re the savior of the world and try to show off how wise you are whenever you try to talk to us about our pasts.”

“What kind of egocentric asshole do you have to be to think ‘This person trying to live a good life is just doing it to look better than me’?” Taya asked, her tone remaining inexplicably calm.

“You know this isn’t helping me feel better, right?” Ruhak asked.

Taya scoffed. “My intention has never been to make you feel better. That’s the job of a lover or a pet. My words are supposed to make you angry.”

Ruhak was taken aback. “Angry? How in the hell does that help?”

“Angry people do things, Ruhak. Angry people don’t sit around wallowing in their own self-pity. Regretful people do that. Angry people don’t stew in their own impotence. Resentful people do that. Angry people get off their asses and get what they want. They have the persistence to defy fate and get things done.”

Ruhak scoffed, “There you go again. All you do is just talk about defying destiny like it’s some grand duty everyone has. You expect everyone to just agree with your stupidity and rashness! How can you not see that? I’d rather not tempt fate to ruin anything else for me.”

Taya stood. The intensity in her gaze actually made Ruhak pause for a moment. “Fate threw a pile of shit in your face. So what? That’s all fate ever does! Now you can either dwell on it and waste your life obsessing over it, or you can accept what happened and move on. I don’t know or care what happened! It doesn’t matter. What does matter is that you don’t let it consume your life. Your life is yours and it’s all you’ll ever really have in this existence. Let nothing and no one take it from you by refusing to choose and act for yourself.”

Ruhak couldn’t think of a response for the life of him.

“Own your life, Ruhak.” she muttered, “You owe yourself that much.”

“I…” He was about to apologize.

For what? So long as I want to change, that’s all she needs.

“I’ll try…” he murmured, “But...I don’t know if I can.”

“Well, that’s another reason I’m here.” Taya offered a smile. “People say the first step to fixing a problem is identifying it. First isn’t always the highest priority. The most important step to fixing a problem is deciding to actually fix it.”