After all the excitement I announced that I was growing tired and would like to rest.

“Of course Sir Arthur….Lawrence. Lawrence. LAWRENCE!!!! Come here you little rodent.” The King shouted.

“Yes your grace”

“Take our guest to his quarters. And Sir Arthur I will send you up some company after you get settled” He said matter-of-factly.

Like I said the 12th century might not be so bad.

Lawrence took me to my quarters which had a fantastic view of London and a nice (even for me) 4 poster bed. No spring mattress of course. You got to enjoy a feather quill in the eye in the middle of the night but better than straw. I was enjoying the view out the window when Lawrence spoke.

“Please sir remove the curse that your device has placed on me. For I did touch it.” He said pleadingly.

My God the money a con artist from the 21st could make in this era.

“I will son but first you must swear loyalty to me and only me above all others, other than God himself” I said.

“But I serve the King,” he said.

“I will see to it you are placed under my service. I have a need of trustworthy men but you must swear this in front of me and God. For he will be the ultimate judge of he who breaks an oath that was swore in front of God.”

“How can one make an oath in front of God?”

“By placing his hand on the Lord’s Holy Scripture while saying it!” I said and his eyes lit up with understanding.

The oath will make him keep all my “State Secrets” an actual secret and get him to believe God will smite him if he doesn’t. But that along with removing the “Curse of the Smartphone” should make him a Zealot to my cause.

“Now run along now son, I have company coming. I will see about you coming to my service tomorrow.” I said.

“Yes my lord” And he left smoke as he burned rubber out of there.

After he left I crashed onto the bed still in my clothes. I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. But I sure didn’t stay that way long because I woke up with a redhead and a brunette in bed with me. Did I say I loved the 12th century?

After they had their way with me for that’s what it was, I was the victim I swear, they left as quietly as they came and I was out again like a light. I didn’t stay that way.

“Oh hell I would really love to but I really have to sleep. I have had a long day.” I said not even opening my eyes.

“I’d wager I can make you. If I must I shall order it.” And that woke me just as quick as if she had dumped ice water on me.

“Empress Matilda what the hell are you doing. If your father catches us I will be a head shorter by tomorrow night.”

“Oh don’t be ridiculous he’s not protecting my chastity anymore. I haven’t been a virgin in quite some time.” She said while rubbing my whole body.

So Henry V could get it up huh.

“I can’t. But I want to. But I mustn’t. But she is so damn hot, even more so without clothes on.”

“Sir Arthur you do realize I heard all that, right?”

Dammit!

“Listen as you can tell by my not so inner thoughts I would love to. But I would like to do this the way it is done in my country, We go on these things called dates……”

And then I realized how stupid I was, this was all there ever could be between us. She was Guinevere and I am to forever be her Lancelot never to be her King Arthur. I was not noble blood. I could never marry a future Queen. Even if she never actually becomes one she could be one.

“Dates? The fruit, do they make you like a Lion in bed?”

“Nevermind” And I took her.