《RECALCITRANCE》Chapter 21.1: Rising Sun
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ALAINA
She feels the heavy clank of metal weighing down on her. Safe, yes, but comfortable? Definitely not. Still unable to believe it herself, Alaina is starting to prefer dresses for once in her life. However, if there's something that doesn't change, she can confidently name two things that makes her feel safer than ever: one, the dagger strapped around her thigh – the one she shall always have with her, dresses or not, whatever the occasion may be; and two, Lancaster simply being by her side.
Lancaster's presence is certainly comfortable for her, but to her left, she finds Lancaster feeling – and somehow acting – the exact opposite of how he normally is, being oddly uneasy. He shifts nervously – a weird term to use, Alaina hesitates, for someone as proud and confident as him.
"What is wrong with you?" Alaina means to ask in concern, but her anxiety is throwing her tone and emotions off, and the question comes out really demandingly. "Sorry," she rephrases, "are you fine?"
He doesn't turn to look at her, which makes Alaina feel worse – although his words come out kindly. "Do not worry, your highness. Worry about yourself."
"That still means you are, in fact, uncertain of something – is it not?" she demands, speaking formally, suiting Lancaster.
Sighing, he finally turns to face her. He forces a smile. "I have to admit, I am fearful."
"You? Fearful?" Alaina begins to laugh – unintentionally, but freely. She allows the bubble of unease to rise gradually with the lightness she is starting to adapt to, ultimately letting it pop. She smiles, for the first time since last night. "That is impossible. Preposterous."
"Admitting our fears is the first step to conquering them."
"What is it that you're afraid of?"
Lancaster's gaze drops to the ground – something Alaina finds uncomfortable, knowing him. He never looks down; he is someone who would only try to look forward and beyond. "Of losing," he finally admits. "And honestly, I am unsure what it means to win in this rebellion."
Alaina ponders on this. Surely, to win is to... deny the empire? But what happens then? Will the kings – her father, of all people – agree to this? They've already agreed to the formation of the empire, after all. Do the rebels actually have a say in this? Can a large group of people really overpower the monarchy?
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The real question is: do they even have the slightest chance of winning?
The bubble of unease forms once again in Alaina's stomach. She is beginning to think this is hopeless – and is rather justified in believing so.
Just then a conch horn blows. And whatever she thinks is now useless, because the installation ceremony is about to begin, but most importantly, she is unable to deny the fact that she is standing here as a part of the rebellion.
Whatever it is, there's no turning back.
But when Alaina glances at the window, though, she spots the little hill where they'd arrived and camped out yesterday – the one overlooking the Kingdom of Theia from afar. The one where Kai and Rose are currently at, fighting alongside them despite not being near her. Then her eyes find the old bell tower not far from the back room of the central podium where she and Lancaster are currently in, standing proudly despite its old and crumbling exterior, the west of the city centre. And that's where Lloyd is. Finally, she steals a glance at Lancaster beside her.
There's a slight confident smile that forms around her lips. Despite not being able to turn back now, there are people with her. Friends.
At least she knows she isn't alone in this.
*****
LLOYD
The signal for the event has sounded. Lloyd's heartbeats race against time.
He doesn't understand why his partner, Trevor, on the other hand, doesn't seem too fazed by the starting call – in fact, he is nearly dozing off in an old wooden chair that seems just about to crumble at his weight.
Frustration builds up within him. Lloyd walks over and gives Trevor a deadpanned glare – at least, as near as he can manage. "It's about to start."
Shifting his weight lazily, Trevor mumbles, "What's about to start?"
"The installation!" Lloyd says, exasperated.
"Right."
"And? You're just going to sit there?"
Whatever Trevor is just about to say – if he'd wanted to say anything at all – is then interrupted by a loud applause. Lloyd turns to see the city centre below. It's crowded with people, and the at the podium where the lady titan statue stands, large torches are lit on either end of it, creating a strong atmosphere.
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People gather around the podium, squeezing in and crowding in on each other as if their life depends on it as they anxiously await the new proclaimed emperor, Caecilus Black, to be crowned by the seven kings.
By the looks of them, Lloyd is sure they aren't too ready to face their new ruler, what with anxious faces and soft mutters, even though some try their best to cover it up through smiles, assuring their little children and beloved ones that everything is fine.
Yes, a smile to cover up the struggles within. Lloyd wonders who else does that. Maybe even the people closest to him do so, too. Everyone is fighting their own battle internally.
Lloyd squints his eyes to have a better view of the crowd. The rebellion is amidst the crowd, blending in perfectly, just as Trajan has said. For someone so proud as himself, Lloyd hates to admit it – even to himself – but Trajan is an excellent strategist. As one would expect from the great General Trajan, who have led many wars in the past. Even Lancaster acknowledges him; and Lloyd begins to question himself.
Why does someone like Trajan make him feel so small?
He only wants to be useful, with all the knowledge he has, his wisdom. He tries so hard to be important, to be prominent.
But is he? Alaina has assured him a thousand times that she needs him in Theia. No, she never assured him, she insists that it is a fact that Theia would crumble without him as an advisor. Lancaster – though Lloyd knows, more than anyone else, is hard to get by – genuinely believes so too, and this is something he has found out only recently. He is beyond grateful for these two, because all he's felt around them is inferiority, thinking he is not good enough. But it turns out that they perceive him as someone much more than what he sees in himself.
Maybe Lloyd is pressuring himself too much. After all, he has a significant role today. He'd be as important as Alaina and Lancaster, just like how they always are in the palace. Today is like no other.
He can do this. This is going to work well.
A tap on Lloyd's shoulder almost makes him scream and possibly fall off the bell tower through the large window arch he's been leaning on. He turns and finds himself face to face with Trevor.
"Well? Didn't you not say that it is about to begin?" he asks, fully awake and alert now.
"Indeed." Lloyd glances at the crowd again, and this time, the podium is now slowly lined with knights marching out from either end of the platform. The faint, distant chatter of the crowd diminishes. "It is. Let's hope things go smoothly and peacefully."
"Nothing's smooth nor peaceful in this world we live in, young lad," Trevor says, his eyes fixed over the opposite side of the crowd, something Lloyd finds strange. A threat? Instinctively, he wonders curiously what he's staring at – or perhaps even expecting to see – but when Lloyd follows his line of vision, there's nothing that they should be concerned about.
Another conch horn blows, this time even louder than before, silencing the already quiet crowd completely. The knights are all lined in their respective positions now, with spears held across their chests – the knights on the left pointing the spears to the right while the knights on the right pointing the spears to the left, lined in a V shape and ultimately forming a sort of pattern pointing to the middle of the podium, where a large, red banner rolls out dramatically, revealing a flying Pegasus.
"And it begins now," Lloyd whispers, as if he is part of the crowd, afraid to speak in the overbearing silence.
But Trevor gives him an odd look Lloyd is unable to read or define. But this isn't the first time, anyway; Lloyd and the others have always find Trevor as someone weird. And just by speaking to him for a few times in the bell tower alone, his choice of words is deep, intriguing, undecipherable – you'd think it's wise, even. Yet it never fails to give you the creeps, just like what he says next:
"The beginning is only the end."
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