《Paradox Fighters》Paradox Fighters, Part 6-16 Wild Goose Chase
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Hermione held her AEGIS up to the sensor, which processed her top-level clearance and opened the sliding doors into the Research and Development wing. The witch and her companions entered into a small lobby, which three hallways branched out of. A large, circular desk sat in the middle of the room.
"Welcome to Research and Development!" chimed the centaur behind the counter, who was too busy looking down at something he was fiddling with to turn and meet his guests. He seemed to be disassembling a motherboard of some sort, delicately using a laser cutter to strip away the semiconductors.
"Hello, there," said Hermione, giving a slight bow even though the centaur could not see her. "We're here from Regulations, and-"
"Oooh!" squealed the centaur, dropping his laser cutter and whirling around to face them. "Oh, I'm sorry, Regulations? How can I help?" He seemed to have a bit of pastry stuck to his muzzle.
"Requisition reported two weapons missing about fifteen hours ago," Hermione explained. "Chief Donatello said that someone here probably borrowed them for study."
"Oh, then you're looking for the Munitions wing. It's off to the right, over there. I mean, your left. You know. If you ask someone down there, they'll know where to find what you're looking for."
Nonon jabbed Sanageyama in the side. "This guy's so klutzy you'd swear he had two left feet… oh, wait, he does!"
"That's not very polite, Nonon," growled Hermione.
"Busted," whispered Inamuta.
"Thank you," she replied to the centaur. "And I apologize for my colleague's imprudence."
"There's no need for an apology from you," assured the centaur. "And I'm afraid she's completely correct. I do in fact have two left feet." He leaned over the counter and gave Nonon a terrifying glare. "Which I will not hesitate to use to step on your one left foot the next time I see you in the mess hall."
Hermione and the centaur exchanged a high-five before the witch led her team, including a very defeated-looking Nonon, down the hallway on their left to the Munitions wing. The hall soon opened up into a larger room featuring a large, heavy-looking metal blast door.
"I bet they've got each lab sealed off like this," whispered Hoka. "Thick enough walls to stop any sort of explosion, and probably biohazard containment systems, too."
Hermione nodded. "Because if something went wrong down here… it'd go very wrong."
"That's charming," mumbled Sanageyama.
They advanced to a small sensor panel like the ones on all of the other doors, which had an additional screen on top of the sensor pod, cycling through a single text message:0 DAYS SINCE LAST INCIDENT
"THAT IS EVEN MORE CHARMING," bellowed Gamagori.
"Here's to hoping we don't witness one of these incidents today," sighed Hermione, holding her AEGIS up to the sensor. The massive blast doors began to slide down, revealing a cool-blue room lit by bright lights, with a massive ceiling stretching up into the bulkheads above. The room's outer wall was lined with drafting tables, each divided out into their own cubicles. Some were occupied by researchers, who were eagerly sketching out plans. Others were empty, their owners tinkering at workbenches at the center of the room or observing the long firing ranges that had their own partitioned-off area.
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"That's pretty impressive," whispered Hermione. She may have been a bit more of a scholar than a scientist, but the facility was certainly striking some chords of childlike awe. It struck them loud enough that she did not notice the rotund robot spiraling towards her.
"LOOK OUT, MRS. GRANGER!" roared Gamagori, placing himself between her and the automaton. The robot smacked against the huge boy's chest uselessly, tumbling to the floor without a few of its limbs. Hermione stared first at the wrecked machine, and then at the surprisingly resilient young man, simply stunned that he had come to her defense when the others seemed like they could not have cared less about her.
"Oh! Oh my goodness!" yelped the man waddling towards them. It seemed improbable that his thin legs could support his particularly rotund body, especially at that speed. His moustache flapped like a bird attempting to escape his upper lip. "I'm so sorry! Are you all right?"
"Y-yes," stammered Hermione. "Was that your robot?"
"I'm afraid so," said the fat man, placing a gloved hand behind his bald, squat head. "I've been trying to reprogram them to be Three Laws compliant, but every time they go haywire! It's simply dreadful!"
"Why were the robots not Three Laws compliant in the first place?" asked Inamuta, tapping away at his PDA's keypad, evidently taking notes.
"Because they were originally military designs. And for that you have to circumvent the First Law," said the man. "Now, are you sure that you're all right? How about you, sir?" he asked of Gamagori.
"I AM FINE! I HAVE RELATIVES IN THE ROBOTICS INDUSTRY!"
"We're really okay, sir," Hermione assured him. "Thank you for your concern."
"It's just- I've really been trying to prove my worth around here, and things haven't exactly gone swimmingly."
Hermione gave a sympathetic nod. "I understand. It seems like every time I was under pressure back at the Department of Magical Law Enforcement- I had just been promoted, I think, and it seemed like every case that came up was a nightmare. It was tough- it was the worst time for things to be harder than ever, because more people depended on me than ever! But I buckled down and got through it, but I probably wouldn't have without my family cheering me on. Knowing that the people you're taking care of care back is a wonderful motivator. So, here's me thanking you for that flying robot." She charged toward the fat man, and before he could protest, trapped him in a hug.
"That was unexpected," noted Sanageyama.
"A real font of wisdom, that Curly," sneered Nonon. "Free hugs never helped anybody."
"Oh… thank you!" sniffled the man as Hermione pulled away. "I know it's silly but that meant a lot to me. That might be the nicest-"
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"HEY!" shouted a voice from one of the drafting tables. "Robotnik! Get back over here, and work on your actual project, instead of your damn machines!"
"I- I had better go," Robotnik stuttered. He turned and sprinted back towards the tables. Hermione turned back to her team, who all gave her the go-ahead nod before she followed a few paces behind.
"If you spent maybe half the time doing actual work instead of your hobby, maybe you'd actually finish something on time for once!" continued the voice, which belonged to a small, slender figure seated at a hover-chair in front of a drafting table. Her workstation was neatly organized into stacks of papers and piles of parts, though the center was cluttered with brown-stained wrappers. The source of the wrappers must have been chocolate bars like the one she currently had crammed into her tiny mouth.
"Right, right," whimpered Robotnik. "Now, what was it that you needed? A fusion coil?"
"I already got the fusion coil while you were tinkering with your Egg Robo. Actually, I finished the whole thing. I'm going to take it to the test range so I don't need to worry about you fudging it up like everything else."
She hopped out of her seat, grabbed her current project off of her desk, and collided with Hermione's carefully-positioned body. The witch scowled down at her.
"Um, excuse me?" asked the pixie. "I'm trying to get work done, here."
Hermione narrowed her eyes. "You're Opal Koboi," she noted.
"Normally, people say that with a little more respect, but yes, the one and only. Now, are you going to get out of my way?"
"No. We're from Regulations and I have a few questions I need to ask you. I assume since you're bossing your colleague around that you hold a higher rank than him, so you should be… in-the-know."
"A-actually we're, ah, the same level-"
"Too bad. You're getting grilled, Miss Koboi."
"And to whom exactly do I owe the... pleasure?" Opal growled, taking another bite of chocolate.
"Hermione Granger, Special Investigations."
"I'll remember that. Might come in handy later."
"I'm sure this won't be the last you'll see of me, especially with that attitude of yours."
Opal turned her nose up even further than it already was. "Get on with it."
"Requisition evidently reported two weapons missing. My superiors seem to think that they were appropriated by the Research and Development program for study. I'd just like to verify their location."
The pixie looked genuinely confused. "Two weapons? Which ones?"
"Um… I… I don't know. They didn't tell me. Inamuta, send a message to Requisition. Ask for which weapons they're missing."
"And you guys call yourself Special Investigations?! You're pathetic! They send you to find weapons, but don't tell you what to look for, and you wait until now to find out?! Ha! I wish the Lower Elements Police had been as big of idiots as you, it would have made things a lot easier." Opal scarfed down the rest of the chocolate, wiping her mouth off with a sleeve.
"You little imp," snarled Hermione.
"Pixie, actually. Imps aren't nearly so beautiful," she gloated, drawing an arm across her body.
"I don't know if I'd say someone with a three-year-old's figure was beautiful," sneered Nonon.
"Shots fired," called Sanageyama.
Opal raised her eyebrows, a thin smile spreading across her tiny face. "Please, keep the insults coming. I'm sure everyone wants to hear more of the tenor saxophone you've shoved down your throat."
"Why I oughtta-" snarled Nonon, leaping toward the pixie. Hermione moved quickly enough to snatch the girl out of the air before any damage was dealt.
"Look at you," guffawed Opal. "You're not a special investigation team. You're a babysitter and a bunch of unruly children. You're not worth even a quarter of the things I've contributed to this organization."
"Got it," said Hoka, looking down at his PDA. "It says here… the Andalite Cube and… oh. The blue Scissor Blade."
"Blue Scissor blade?" asked Sanageyama. "Are you serious?"
"Yes. It says so right here."
"Oh… well, that's interesting," grunted the green-haired boy. "I can see why Satsuki sent us to look into it."
"No, I haven't seen either of those weapons around here," snapped Opal. "You'll have to find them somewhere else. Maybe after nap-time."
Hermione gritted her teeth and turned around, walking away from the combative pixie. She turned and nodded at Robotnik as she passed him.
"I'm sorry you have to put up with that," she whispered.
Her colleagues formed up behind her as she walked out of the blast doors. Nonon scooted up alongside her.
"Leaving so soon, Curly? We didn't find anything out yet."
"There was nothing to find out. It was all a big wild goose chase, all of it. We've learned nothing except that Gendo is hiding something, which is exactly what Artemis and Satsuki already thought. Everything else has been a waste of time. I'm starting to think I liked being a guinea pig better."
"So if we're giving up now, we'll need to go report what we found-" Inamuta paused- "Or rather, what we didn't find, to Lady Satsuki."
"Well, might as well get it over with," sighed Hermione.
"LIKE RIPPING OFF A BANDAGE," roared Gamagori.
"I'm certain that would be more pleasant," groaned the witch.
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