《Raising a Mutant: A Young Superman (and friends) Hurt/Comfort Adoption Fic》Chapter 24: Panic Attacks
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Jonathan spent the evening after driving home unpacking the truck. Martha helped him with some of the unloading, but she was tired, and she went to bed shortly after the kids did.
Jonathan couldn't sleep. Lionel Luthor's trial was tomorrow, and Lex had to give his testimony.
Everything would turn out alright, Jonathan was sure. He was fairly confident he'd managed to get through to the boy, but there was a lot riding on Lex's shoulders. The incident that had gotten Lionel arrested had truly been an accident. If Lex wasn't honest about what his home life was really like, Lionel might walk.
The thought of sending Lex back to Lionel made Jonathan feel physically ill. Lex already knew Clark's secret, but Jonathan found that that wasn't causing him as much distress as the thought of losing Lex. Somehow, he trusted the boy. He was worried about Lex's safety.
Jonathan tossed and turned through the night. The next morning, when he went to wake up Lex, he found him sitting up in bed, knees pulled into his chest, rocking and breathing hard.
"Lex?" Jonathan raced over to sit beside him. "Talk to me, son."
"W-what if . . . what if . . . what—"
"Look at me. Breathe. Breathe."
Lex took a few slower breaths, then began to hyperventilate again.
Jonathan put a hand on the boy's back. Lex flinched violently at the contact, but then took a couple of longer, slower breaths.
"Lex," Jonathan said. "Look at me."
Lex pried his eyes open and looked up into Jonathan's eyes.
"What's on your mind?"
"What—what if I testify against my father, but they still let him go? If he knows I tried to get him in prison . . . he's—he's gonna . . ."
Jonathan's heart sank. "That's not going to happen, Alexander."
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"I—I don't want to do this."
Jonathan cradled Lex's face in his hand and said some of the scariest words he'd ever had to say: "No one's forcing you, son."
"I . . . I don't know if I'm brave enough."
"Maybe you don't feel brave. But bravery isn't a feeling. It's a choice."
Lex swallowed hard. "If I don't do this, do I have to go back to him?"
Jonathan squeezed his eyes shut and rubbed his forehead. He and Martha could fight this. Jonathan was sure that Lionel was guilty of quite a few more crimes than abusing Lex—maybe they could get him put away. It would be very, very difficult without Lex's testimony, but . . . "I'm never going to let him hurt you again."
Lex nodded, and he straightened up a little. "I'll go to the trial. I'm going to be brave."
Jonathan's heart swelled, and his throat choked. He pulled Lex into his arms. "I am so, so proud of you," he whispered.
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