Larry Foulery was lazily scrubbing the counter of the fast food restaurant he worked at, when he looked up and got shot in the face. The explosion of light hit him, and he felt his skull cave in under the pressure. Much to his surprise, he was not dead before he hit the floor, and was able to feel the pain in all of it's glory.

Fast death, my ass, he thought, as his dying muscles caused his body to spasm. With every twitch, waves of pain rushed from his head to the rest of his body, until they ended in his numb fingertips and toes. He tried to close his eyes, but his body did not listen. Already, he had lost control over it. Screams rang in his ears, and more gunshots. The blood gushed out of his forehead, and flowed into his hair and eyes. Slowly, his vision was drowned by blood, and the world turned red, and then, finally, black.

I never thought I’d die so soon, he thought. No girlfriend. No real job. Why did I even safe up all that money. All wasted now. Fuck, my life was a waste, wasn't it. Humanity just took a huge loss, everybody. Another fucking nobody died.

As his consciousness faded away, he thought about all his regrets. Funnily enough, it was not the things he should have done differently he regretted the most, but the things he had never even tried. All his life he hid his regrets and insecurity behind this wall up apathy. He thought if he’d never really cared about anything, he could never fail, never be disappointed. Now, while he was taking his last, painful breaths, confused and alone, he was disappointed only in himself.

I wish I had a second chance, he thought, as his mind drifted into darkness.

Larry opened his eyes, and the first thing he saw were the white walls, and the ebony desk in front of him. A broad, leather chair was right behind the desk, and behind the chair was a small door, just big enough that an a midget might fit through comfortably. He noticed he was sitting on a black leather couch.

I've seen enough black couches online to know where this is going, he thought, chuckling at his own joke. Looks like there is an afterlife, after all. I owe Steve five bucks.

It felt good to know that when his life had ended, it hadn't been over quite yet. Maybe this was the second chance he had wished for.

Curious as to where he was, he stood up and walked towards the tiny door, but before he reached it, it swung open on its own. A huge creature pushed itself through the door frame, troubled by its long and slender body. When it finally managed to enter the room, Larry saw it was nearly twice his height, with long limbs and a floating, black sphere where it's head should be. Almost invisible dots dances across this sphere, sometimes hiding in the seemingly never ending darkness, sometimes jumping across it like shooting stars. The creature carried a suitcase and a cup decorated with foreign symbols in its hands, its long fingers curving around the items, holding them with the delicacy of a spider. Weirdly enough, it was wearing a normal sized, black suit, which hung from his slim limbs like a tiny curtain.

The creature sat down on the chair behind the ebony desk and dropped it’s stuff onto the table. It opened it's suitcase and pulled out a stack of papers, which it spread across the table in a way, that made Larry suspect it had done so a million times before. Suddenly, it's sphere-head started spinning, and a loud noise filled the room. It sounded like one of these monk choirs Larry had heard in the church as a small boy. The voices weren’t speaking in a language Larry recognized, and the closer he listened, the more he felt like he was pulled in by them. A realization ripped him out of his thoughts.

Oh crap, is this god? No, no, fuck. I'm still in my work clothes. I’m standing in front of god, and I’m wearing my greasy work clothes.

Larry remembered his dad once told him, that you should dress every day like it's your last one. Looks like he had been right. Maybe, if this really was the afterlife, Larry would soon be able to tell him that.

The sphere-head of god decelerated, and the noise changed into a low buzzing, the voices of the choir blending together into a single, corrupted buzzing. Then, the creature put it's hand on the sphere, and it's color changed to a glowing red.

"Do your ears know me, currently", god said, in a low grumbling voice.

"What?" Larry asked, almost unable to force the word out of this throat.

The buzzing of the sphere pushed against his mind, and time seemed to dilute. How long had he been here already? It could have been seconds, it could have been millenias. He felt his legs grow weaker with every moment, as his fear and anxiety grew stronger. Something about that voice was not right. It made him feel emotions that did not belong into his head. They were not his own. The creature pressed it's fingers harder against the sphere. The color changed to a dark pink.

"Can you understand my words, now?" the thing said, this time with the voice of a small girl. Every word it said was followed by a demonic whisper, an hidden message that gave the words power. The pressure on Larry's had subsided.

"Yes I can understand you... Are you god?"

"Sit. The questioning will start immediately," it said, dismissing Larry’s question. It fished a pen out of it's suitcase and began scribbling on one of the papers it had brought. A drop of sweat rolled over Larry left temple, and right into his eye. He didn’t blink.

"Failure to follow my instructions will lead to your complete erasure. Sit," the creature said, a little bit to casual for Larry's taste. Larry took seat on the couch. The creature spoke again, it words piercing Larry like needles.

"Can you talk?" it asked.

"Uh, yes. Where am I? Is this heaven?"

"Would you be able to talk without your mouth?"

"What? No. I'm so sorry, what is happening right now? I died, and now I’m here and..."

The creature pointed towards the wall to it’s left. Larry looked to where it pointed, and saw a giant mirror, which had definitely not been there before. It was framed in gold, the metal twisting into beautiful spirals and flowers. Glowing, violet symbols wandered over it’s surface.

"What do you see?" the creature asked.

"Myself, I guess. And you. The couch, the walls and the desk, and..."

The maybe-god interrupt him.

"Enough," it said, it’s hand raised, signaling him to stop. The mirror collapsed into dust. "I will now confirm you identity. Please name the precise order of nucleotides within your average DNA molecule."

"What the hell. How am I supposed to know that?”

If I would have known I would need biology in my afterlife, I would have paid better attention in class. Ah, who am I kidding, I still would have skipped the class, he thought.

For the first time, the creature stopped writing. Silence impregnated the atmosphere with tension. It sighed, the voice of the small girl suddenly sounding much closer than the creature actually was. The sphere sped up.

"Very well. I will confirm your identity in a different way. Prepare yourself.”

Before Larry could react, it’s arm shot towards him, stretching far beyond it’s original length. With fingers like spider legs, it punctured his forehead, much the same way the bullet had, but this time Larry did not feel any pain, nor did he die. The creature wiggled it's fingers, and Larry could definitely feel that. He felt it pulling and twisting, and digging. For some reason it reminded him of going to the dentist, the fingers grinding into his mind like a drill into a rotten tooth.

“You are human,” the creature said with certainty. “From simulation C-137, Earth. Larry Foulery. As you demonstrated, your species has limited self-awareness, mostly suppressed it’s instincts and is able to communicate intelligently. You belong to a low-intelligent, carbon based species, which showcases parasitic behavior towards itself and its environment. You have lived for twenty-three years, and as such you have payed of your debt, with an overshoot of three years . Congratulations, you fulfill the minimum requirements for an afterlife. I will send you to a world that fits the destructive tendencies and emotional instability of your species, as well as your personal preferences.”

With a sloshing noise, the creature pulled it’s fingers out of Larry’s head. The world around Larry turned dark again.

“What the hell just happened?” he whispered, pushing his last breath through his teeth.

And then, Larry Foulery died. Again.