《Ringmaster's Ambition》Chapter 2: Predicament
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Finally, after who knows how long I've been trapped in that void, I am finally able to see things other than that boring darkness. Somewhat.
Everything is so blurry as I couldn't make out a single figure. Nor could I understand the sounds I hear. Honestly, I am rather confused and distressed. I don't like this feeling. Not at all. This may be what all newborns feel when they are expelled from the wombs of their mother. Unfortunately for me, I have every shred of my thoughts and consciousness intact which would definitely make this whole experience a huge slog to go through. The feeling of vulnerability is not to my liking and I hope things will improve sooner or later. Well, that's just wishful thinking as I don't really know if there is even any way to hasten the physical maturity and growth of an infant. If I would know that this will happen to me, I would've instead focused more on a different field of psychology in my previous.
As to celebrate my rebirth, I guess it's best to say goodbye to Samuel Tuckerman. I've got a new life ahead of me. I'm young once again. I don't need to take constant medication anymore so that whatever was deteriorating my health back then was kept in check. No more cramps and pains all over my body. I definitely wouldn't miss that.
Feeling tired for some reason, I decided to fall asleep but then I felt my bum getting hit. Ah yes, the feeling of being manhandled. I don't like this as well. But since doctors need to verify whether I am alive or not, they would have to do these things. In my opinion, this is unnecessary but for my own safety, I might as well cry.
So I cried like an infant. To initiate it first was rather difficult but it seems this sort of reflex is inherent in any child when experiencing some sort of pain or displeasure. Soon after, I no longer feel any discomfort but rather warmth. I must've probably been placed at the embrace of the woman who gave birth to me. I can't see her clearly but by looking closely I can see a figure of a head. Any distinct facial feature is impossible for me to determine right now but that human-shaped head can be easily noticed, assuring me that the one holding me was at least humanoid.
"Woman, thank you for giving birth to me"
Is something I said but it seems that only inaudible sounds have come out of my mouth. I may be a serial killer in my past life (and I do plan to continue such a life here) but it doesn't mean that I am incapable of showing any form of gratitude to a person I am indebted to. I am not an ungrateful bastard. Really successful deviants and criminals can't really survive until the end by merely relying on themselves. No man is an island after all. Assuming that my rear end would no longer be meeting anyone's palms, decided to continue with my attempt to falling asleep since there is no point in keeping myself awake.
My first dream in this new world is about my trial. Rather than a dream, it felt more like a reenactment as I was lucid all throughout. The district judge had decided to question me, "Why do you kill". That is a rather strange question, for me at least. I am fully aware that my mental state is far too different compared to those of the norm. So I merely replied, "Why do you not kill?". I could see the rather disturbed expression on his face when he had heard my reply. My lawyer, who I did not choose, was pushing through the fact that I am allegedly insane and therefore any form of criminal punishment would be ineffective on me. Although I had evidence proving that I had knowledge of the locations of thousands of remains, no evidence was found that I was the one who conducted them. I guess I'm sort of to be blamed for that as I did intend to hide something. In my opinion, as I was the one who really conducted all those killings, those who aided or helped me shouldn't suffer the same fate. The records only showed the process of killing and the location of the body, but it never mentioned the method to capture my victims nor the method used to dispose of the body. Those who want to investigate further may guess as much as they want, but that doesn't mean they actually know who my accomplices are nor would they have any clue or evidence to back their guesses.
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Looking back, the perfect question for me should've been, "Why did you give yourself up". Which was never asked. Indeed, I was an old man nearing my death and every hour that passed at that age had my wellbeing uncertain. I was riddled with various ailments, all maintained through medication. Back to the question, I would've answered that by saying that "Feeling my death to happen soon, I did not want all my achievements to be completely forgotten so I felt like it was time for me to reap the fruits of my labor." I could've answered that if I wanted to be a little bit theatrical, but honestly, I really had no answer, and this answer applies to my reason for killing as well. I just know that this is an act that every fiber of my being is telling me to do. Does it give me some sense of accomplishment? Not really. Is it a fetish or an addiction? No. Is it something I need to do? No. I do not know the reason why I kill. But maybe my past lives can tell me since it seems that I always lived a life of a killer. So, I do not know why I kill. Why do I not stop? I don't know. I want to kill, but not all the time. I'd do it if I can get away with it.
So the most honest and accurate answer I can give is that "I kill because I can". And I am sure that any person can kill and it boggles me why only a few actually do it.
This dream was rather strange. Have those 'beings' decided to make me reminisce of my past actions? I'm not the type to dwell on things I find to be a bother. I thought the trial was all farce to salvage whatever ounce of dignity the government had left. The problem I currently have however is regarding the restrictions that were given to me, I wonder what they are.
...
{In the Realm of the Keepers}
A collection of multiple humanoid figures of varying shapes and sizes are gathering. They are having debates about certain circumstances that pose to be a threat to them.
"It seems that Notpil has perished. He was the only one willing to sacrifice himself for the cause. UNLIKE YOU COWARDLY LOT!"
Twenty-one figures had bowed their featureless heads as if they felt rather disappointed or trying to avert their gaze from the other who was scolding them. Other beings just watch silently from a distance.
One of the twenty-one decided to speak.
"His actions, in my opinion, are futile"
Another decided to support his claims
"Yes, His sacrifice is in vain!"
"HOW WOULD YOU KNOW ABOUT THE FUTILITY OF AN ACTION THAT YOU HAVE NEVER BOTHERED TO TAKE!?"
The two decided to shut their mouths.
"You fools are not only cowardly but extremely selfish as well! All of you, who were supposed to follow the protocols and rules, decided to keep transferring the responsibility until Notpil was the one who realized that the bad karma has accumulated to an impossible degree!"
"Chief, you've seen how the conversation went down with Notpil and that monster! Notpil was supposed to be well known for his stubbornness but that monster still managed to goad him into sacrificing his own life to perform a taboo!"
"I am aware of that. Notpil had put very strict and strong restrictions on that beast. Strong enough that it is comparable to a high-level curse! Although the restrictions are considered a blessing to that world, since the target of it is that beast, then it may as well be considered a curse. He was at least quite crafty enough to be able to think of such a method while not breaking the rules."
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"However, sir, to put up a curse is something only Demons do. He blessed that monster. Us Keepers may only bless those who have sown good karma. His death was certain the moment he decided to bless that monster as he used his own good karma to do so, and not the good karma of the deceased person"
"And may I add on that, sir, Notpil lied. He called himself a god but he's only a Keeper. Although almost all celestial beings are 'godlike' when compared to any mortal, it was wrong for him to represent a faction he was not affiliated with."
"He was also very talkative, sir! Answering every inquiry that beast decided to ask. Even mentioning the Progenitor! He divulged to a mortal soul the secrets to life after death! And since that conversation was made with a soul, that knowledge is imprinted to it! He's broken more rules, than the twenty-one of use who were neglectful and merely delegated our duties to another."
"Don't think that I'm easy to fool as you lot try to partly your faults to Notpil. Do not forget that it's your fault as to why the bad karma had accumulated to such a state! You could've initially sent him to the Underworld for that beast's karma to be easily absorbed. But instead, you lot not only let it grow in quantity but allowed it to grow denser."
"..."
"His soul could've been easily transformed as a minor demon as it could be deduced that in his future reincarnations, he would continue to sow bad karma! He could've been kept in check at the Underworld. But that's not what you lot decide to do. You decided to shift responsibility and tried to stubbornly make him cease his actions and change his ways! The first few reincarnations should've been sufficient hint as to what his path should've been! But every time, you sent him back to the world of mortals. What made you lot decide to disregard the knowledge and experience you accumulated as Keepers since time immemorial!?"
Silence. The twenty-one Keepers were not able to provide an excuse. They only bow their heads as they wait for the Chief to calm down a bit. The chief eventually gave a big sigh.
"If that beast were to be sent to the Underworld now, the bad karma he has sown will be enough to turn him or any demon there into a Progenitor. Which would certainly spawn new beings similar to him. The creation of a new realm would cause an imbalance to all realms"
"Can't we seek help from the Gods? We are close allies with them and they are the only ones with enough power to do these things! Or the Progenitor of the Keepers! Surely this matter is serious enough to warrant His intervention!?"
"No. The Gods and Progenitors are prohibited from involving themselves in matters of reincarnation. That would go against the jurisdiction they have. We are the ones tasked to handle these sorts of problems..."
"Then what are we supposed to do?"
"Notpil introduced himself as a god to that beast. He did not share too much information but only enough to garner the curiosity of that beast regarding our existence. He may have a reason for doing so as he was the most clever among all of us, so I don't believe that he was careless in giving out information willingly without reason. In fact, he was acting rather differently when speaking with that, acting as if he was inferior. Anyway, you lot are relieved from your duty as Keepers and are to be sent to the realm of Arcania to keep watch of the beast and to not let him sow more bad karma"
"You're sending us to our deaths!?"
One of the beings yelled in protest. Others followed.
"Some Arcanian mortals wield powers equal to Gods!"
"To them, who are not bound by the rules here, we are mere ingredients for their quest for power!"
"Have you forgotten the Ishep incident!?"
"Have you brought this to the Progenitor of Arcania!? He wouldn't want us meddling in his realm!"
"SILENCE!"
The protests of the twenty-one Keepers soon dwindled.
"The Progenitor of Arcania has granted his approval. The Gods are aware and wish to aid us but their Progenitor does not allow it. Other Progenitors do not want to meddle."
Upon hearing this, not only the twenty-one Keepers but as well as the others who were watching were also shocked.
"Currently, all realms are balanced as there are equal realms favoring our allies and realms in aid of our adversaries. But this time, only one realm is going to be made which is more than likely to be in our adversaries' favor."
"Then can't we find some way to make sure that at least, at the time that beast dies and his karma is to be processed, then another being who has sown good karma equal to an amount as his may die as well?"
"Are you suggesting a simultaneous creation of two opposing realms? Much like the mutual death of the Last Hero of Arcania and the Transcended Outlander? Certainly, their deaths caused the creation of the Realm of Heroes and the Realm of Outlanders that ceaselessly oppose one another."
"That would be ideal, but unfortunately insufficient"
A loud voice suddenly answered. And a extremely bright figure appeared, engulfing the entire sky of their realm.
Upon hearing the voice, all the Keepers, whether within the vicinity of the talks or not knelt down.
"Progenitor, we apologize for disturbing your rest!"
"No need for apologies. I hear all and see all in this realm so there is nothing that disturbs me. But, I wish to answer your doubts. You may all stand"
The Keepers stood and silently waited for the Progenitor to speak.
"The Realm of Keepers is tasked in handling souls. To keep things in order and properly send them to a reincarnation they are most deserved to have. The actions made by these twenty-one Keepers regarding the anomaly is not new. Change is inherent and possible to any soul and I can understand why they wished to turn that anomaly into a sower of good karma. As it would certainly be beneficial for a great sower of bad karma to change its ways to a great sower of good karma. The change would cause the birth of a new Progenitor in aid of the Gods"
The twenty-one Keepers couldn't help but feel relieved that their true intentions were explained by the Progenitor.
"But remember this. As the Realm of Heroes is simultaneously made alongside the Realm of Outlanders, it would mean that the Last Hero of Arcania, Keehl, was equal in strength with the Transceded Outlander, Krious."
The Keepers kept silent and they let the Progenitor continue.
"As you all may know, this universe originated from chaos. Only upon the creations of realms representing good karma was this balance achieved. The problem lies with the anomaly. He had taken countless innocent lives during his many incarnations, sowing a large amount of bad karma in each. He could not be monitored closely as he was in the farther worlds located in the Realm of Mortals, and now he is at a state that no mortal in the farther realms should've been able to reach. All these coincidentally leading to the problem before us today."
"Lord Progenitor, does that mean?"
"Yes. Someone caused all this to happen. Unfortunately, none of the Progenitors know who could've done it or are willing to speak forth regarding the matter,"
Discussions among other Keepers started, wondering about the contents of what their Progenitor said. One of the twenty-one decided to speak up.
"I assure you Lord Progenitor! As the first Keeper to handle the soul of that beast, I did not collude with any foreign entity!"
"As do I, Lord Progenitor! I may be at fault, but there was no malice or ill intention behind it!", the rest of the twenty-one chimed.
"I am aware. In fact, all of you are innocent of that, but it also doesn't mean that you are not at fault."
"Do not forget. The law of all realms is to act within jurisdiction. Extinction awaits those who disobey this law. The decision made by Notpil was a wise one as although the anomaly was given a better opportunity to sow bad karma in the worlds within the Realm of Arcania, he would also have even greater chances to sow good karma"
"Then we must-"
The Progenitor then raised his hand as if to tell everyone to keep silent. Then he shifted his gaze upwards to look at something that's supposedly above him.
"Your peering ends here."
...
I then woke up from my dream. Was this also part of my delusions? Or something else? Since what greeted my sight was still the head of my supposed mother. Then I can at least safely say that I'm finally free from that void. Any more of that nonsense and my mind would've truly become that of an infant.
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