Pain beyond anything I'd ever believed possible assaulted my senses the moment I was conscious again. I gasped as much as I could but it wasn't enough, it felt like I was suffocating no matter how much I filled my lungs. I would have screamed if it didn't involve exhaling precious air.

My sense of time was mangled. I had no clue for how long agony wracked my body but after what felt like an eternity the pain started to subside. Each new breath began to feel more normal and I could exhale once more. I slowly opened my eyes to be greeted by the face of a concerned young man, he was so close that our noses were practically touching. He appeared relieved when my eyes met his. "She's awake Ms Carla!" he shouted.

To my right somewhere I heard my quietly sobbing mother. I had expected her to rush over to me but instead, she continued to cry somewhere out of sight.

"What happened to me?"

But the man simply shushed me before speaking with the woman next to him, both of them wore the standard black robes of a priest but neither had headdresses and both had the common brown hair and green eyes. I must have been in seriously bad shape judging by my mother's reaction. It seemed like whatever treatment I'd received was excellent, my body ached but it didn't feel like I was going to be bedridden.

I could hear the same monastic song emanating from the woman but unlike the head priests, her song was much quieter. I could see her holding a black straight sword in the same way as the head priest had, it rested on her upturned palms.

I tried to sit up but the green-eyed man simply pushed my head back down with a finger before speaking. "Stay still while we make sure you are stable." a green glow enveloped my body. I flicked my eyes down to the source of the glow, the woman's eyes were closed as her straight sword produced a steady healing light. Eventually, the aches and pains were washed away and the feeling began to return to my hands and feet.

"As for what happened it appears that you were attacked. In broad daylight."

The anger in his voice was apparent though his face maintained an emotionless facade.

"If you were unresponsive any longer I would have needed to give up on resuscitation and declare you dead. You should be thankful that the forge mother has decided it wasn't your time."

I expected to be hurt but to hear that I was essentially dead for a while was a shock. I remembered experiencing the song, though attempts to replicate it in my mind always came up short. I remembered my uncontrollable urge to speak and then I woke up here. I looked around at the cloth walls around me and finally noticed I was in a simple tent.

I looked at the man in confusion and he gave a smile that looked like someone trying to placate a child.

"I've never seen someone go from perfectly healthy to death's door as quickly as you did. You shrieked like a banshee drawing everyone's eye and then… it wasn't a very pretty picture, suffice to say that you needed immediate care. It's just too bad we didn't catch the one responsible."

The one responsible? I pondered his words for a moment wondering if anyone else had experienced something similar before.

"Has anyone else been attacked like this? Like during the rite?"

"Not as far as I know."

He said with a sigh.

"You could try asking the head priest, he was going to come by and check on you soon anyway. He feels that his lack of vigilance allowed you to come to harm."

After the two priests finished healing me they left the tent leaving me alone. Shortly afterwards my mother came inside, she was in a state. Her eyes were bright red and puffy and it looked like everything as of late had sapped all of the youth from her face. She looked at me with a mix of sadness and distrust, like I was some sort of beggar or vagrant, a look that I don't think she'd ever worn before.

"What happened?"

Mother asked flatly, a stark difference from her usual tone.

"What did you do?"

What did I do? All I knew was that there was someone incredibly powerful behind the metal doors, someone that dwarfed the head priest. I found myself unable to adequately describe the power I felt. Like explaining the difference in strength between an ant and a dragon in a single word but then what am I in that analogy? A speck of dust? As I understood it, all that lay beyond those doors was the beacon. All we needed to do was walk up one at a time and place our hands atop the coiled crystal. Our Animus-Blade would manifest and then be bound to our soul.

I tried my best to explain what I'd felt when those great doors opened but she refuted my story.

"I don't get it. No one else was there. You should've been fine."

"I–“ I wanted to ask her if there was any news about Alessia yet but I was cut off.

"Shut up."

Her voice was cold and terse..

"I knew forge-burned tenders were no good."

I thought her anger was misguided, so I attempted to reason with her.

"A blade tender didn't do this to me!"

"This is the second time you've almost died! You even admitted to causing this."

"Bu–"

"I told you to shut up!"

She shouted, smashing her foot into the cobblestones and cracking a few from the sheer force of the impact.

"I tried my best for you! I held my tongue. I tried to be with you. To support you. To understand you. No more! I don't want you ever using those unnatural powers again. Clearly I should've stopped you as soon as I found out what you were. Before you had a chance to blaspheme."

Her words cut deep. She was rejecting everything I was. Rejecting me completely with no room for negotiation. I was crushed and in my pain, I lashed out. Without a proper outlet or resolution, all of the rage that I'd bottled up over Alessia's disappearance was unjustly released.

"I don't want to hear it from a prostitute!"

Mother was stunned as if she'd been struck blind and deaf but I saw how it affected her. I wanted her to feel just as hurt as I. I wanted her to feel the pain of rejection that ate at my soul.

"That's right! I've seen what you do for extra money, your 'night job'! Once I found out the truth I didn't touch a single one of those filthy books!"

Every word I spoke dripped with venom until I took it too far.

"You always talk about how great father was but admit it you were just waiting for him to die so you could service other men!"

Instant regret. The moment the last words left my lips I understood just how far I'd crossed the line. I felt physically sick by what I'd said but no amount of remorse could take back those words. Mother stood up with an eerie calmness that chilled my bones. SLAP! I was hit across the face so hard that the cushion did nothing to stop my head from bouncing off of the table below. My vision blurred slightly and the tent distorted.

"Don't come back. I don't care where you go, I don't care what you do but you're not welcome in my house."

She turned to leave the tent and spoke once more as she lifted the flap.

"Maybe I loved you too much, I was blinded. Maybe once you've been tossed around like a piece of meat for just a bite of bread you'll understand all that I've sacrificed for you, everything that he gave his life to protect you from!"

Then she left. I kept waiting and waiting and waiting but she didn't come back. I dizzily scrambled to my feet and ripped the tent flap aside still expecting her to be standing just outside but even if she was out there somewhere she was lost among the crowds of people going about their daily business.

What had I done? I rushed outside aimlessly sprinting around, trying to catch a glimpse of my mother but I didn't even know which way she could have gone. In desperation I started searching for a guard, their uniform was peculiar and should've been easy to spot. Despite the large numbers of guards that patrolled the streets before the rite I couldn't find a single one now.

Please! If I could find just one they might have been able to catch her before she left but it was as if they had all vanished. I was sprinting hard, barely dodging my way through the crowds but eventually, my stamina ran dry and I was forced to give up. I crawled into the nearest alley to rest while I searched the faces of passersby hoping desperately to see anyone familiar.

I thought I understood what it felt like to be alone on the carriage but the void I felt now was incomparable.