[Azalea]

Hol is a multi-layered magic circle that papa casted on me; it prioritizes self-healing more than anything. I do not remember when I got it. It feels like a gift that will always be with me. Once it recognized that my body had received life-threatening damage, it will eventually focus my mana on healing the damage. When the damage dealt is identified to be lethal, it forces me into deep sleep. I will not wake up until I have recovered enough. It is very convenient but sometimes it could be very problematic as well.

This is not the time to rest.

My vision turned black.

∞×∞

How long was I asleep? My throat feels so dry.

The sun was already setting. Nobody bothered to pick me up. They probably thought that I was one of the dead. I walked out of balance. I felt so weak but I needed to go back to check on the others. The surroundings were getting dark.

They are probably worried about me too.

The way back felt longer and more draining.

Looking at the setting sun, I can tell that I had been passed out for few hours. Maybe… just maybe, the rescuers had already gone to our place.

On my way back, nothing much changed. The fallen trees seem to be unmoved. No large vehicles had gone through since this afternoon. I need to hurry back to the shelter. Nobody came to help them, even though I begged… and begged.

The sun was disappearing in the horizon. The sky was losing its warm color as the purple tint of the night takes over. With the light of the full moon, I managed to see through the way. All the man-made source of light in the path was destroyed. If I was not for the brightness of the moon I would be walking blind. In the silence, I can hear my own footsteps, the faint insect sounds, and the noises of the startled chickens I encountered on the way. The breeze blowing has started to get cold. Everything I see, hear, and feel gave me bad premonition. I did not want to think about it. I increased my walking speed despite the dark path.

Finally, I reached the hill top. Cold sweat dropped down from my cheeks while I pant heavily looking around the darkness that envelops the area surrounding the ruin that used to be our house.

“Did Zaza forget to light a bon fire? They will be cold. He should not have a problem making a fire.” I panicked inside while I look around until I recognized a figure sitting by a fallen tree.

Zaza was sitting under the tree unmoved.

“Is he sleeping?” I asked myself. “Zaza!!!” I called out loud but he did not respond. He looked frozen stiff. “He must be exhausted; after all, I left him alone to watch over everyone.” I rushed over to check up on them. “Hey Zaza, you can’t be sleeping here now.” I tapped his shoulder.

It was just a slight tap. It was not enough to tip him off and fall over. But he did.

My hands trembled reaching for his. I grabbed his hand. “So cold.” I felt a sudden chill inside. I noticed his left arm was touching his abdomen as if he was embracing himself in agony. I reached out to move it away to check on him. I lift his shirt, and there with the dim light of the moon I saw a large bruise. He hid it from me. He received a severe injury in his stomach. The red-blue-violet skin discoloration suggests heavy internal bleeding. So that was why he sent me on my own, not insisting his usual overprotective way.

But how about the other kids?

When I made a sudden turn to see Eric, Nathan and Samie, they were in the same state. The shaking of my hands and knees did not calm down. I went towards them almost crawling, wobbling on my feet. I knelt close to their stiff body lying on a spread out bed sheet on the ground.

“No way...” The wind swept away my cracking voice. “Eric! Nathan! Samie!” I crawled closer hoping for a positive result. “Please wake up.” My shuddering fingers brushed Nathan’s face. His cheeks felt so cold.

“Az…” A very weak voice caught my attention.

“Samie!” I ran over beside her.

“W-where are you?” My eyes widened hearing her almost indistinct voice. She raised her hands trying to reach out to something. Her breathing was shallow. Her eyes were staring blank into the space. “Where have you been these past two days?”

Two days..?

I grabbed her shaking hand. “I’m right here. You’ll be fine, right?” I held back my tears. “I’ll carry you to the city with all of the strength I have. So, be fine… Samie…”

“Azalea…” She mumbled with her ragged voice as a drop of tear fell from her eye. “I… I don’t wanna die…”

After hearing her last words, I felt like I suddenly forgot how to breathe for a second. The silence that followed only lasted for a second but it felt like forever.

That night, I made the most painful cry I ever made. It was as if all of the emotions I kept locked up inside violently erupted to mercilessly tear me to pieces from within.

I totally lost myself. It was one of those nightmares that I do not want to recall but it will never leave me alone. The light that used to guide my way slowly faded like ashes blown away by the wind while I helplessly stare at their pale expressions. My heart continued to break into tiny pieces while carrying all the corpses to the nearest cemetery one by one. The warmth I hold was ceaselessly drained away as I dug deeper into the soil. And finally my soul shattered and diffused into oblivion, leaving me dead when I threw them into the pit and buried them all at once.

I lost concept of time.

No…

Honestly, I just did not bother anymore. I did not care. I just couldn’t care anymore. I forgot; I lost myself. Where do I belong? No one’s left to call my name anymore.

It was cold.

It was painful.

It was unbearable.

I wonder if I should bury myself with them?

After burying my friends, my family, I took a piece of plywood and carved their names on it. I laid on top of their grave and watched the clouds float in the sky.

“What else is there for me to look forward to?...”

I walked out of the crimson stained cemetery not knowing where to go. Step after step. Grave after grave. Tears after tears until there are no more. As rugged and broken as I am, all I can think of was the piling up hatred, resentment, grief and this strong passionate desire for destruction.

Why didn’t anyone come to help us?

No…

In the first place, why did not try to learn healing magic?

Why was I so confident that everything would stay the same? That nothing bad would happen?

Why?

Why?

Why?

Why…

Why was I incapable of finding a way to save them?

It was as if little black hands were dragging me deeper into the abyss. Deeper. Deeper. Sinking. Sinking. And sinking still. I was drowning.

What is this feeling from within?

There was this strange throbbing feeling in my chest, it does not hurt, but it was suffocating.

I am empty, yet why do I feel so heavy?

I leaned my back on the wall beside the cemetery gates and slid down slowly like a droplet of water gliding down a glass surface. I curled up staring down the ground.

I’ll just stay here and wait… I will wait until death comes by to pick me up…

“If I bury myself alive, how long will it take before I die?” This insane thought was eating me up. It played over and over inside my mind like a broken record.

That was when a man out of nowhere approached me.

“Hello,” he greeted loudly. I did not respond yet he continued asking like a curious cat. “Are you alone? Where do you live?”

“Why is he taking the trouble to come and talk to me?” I thought turning my head looking up to him.

His eyes were dimly covered by old fashioned rounded glasses; his face was covered by slightly unshaved beard making him look haggard, and his long black hair was tied in a ponytail. He was wearing a gray long sleeve shirt and blue maong pants. He was the very definition of “suspicious.”

“My home had been destroyed, four days ago.” I answered, my voice sounded soulless.

“Sorry. Where are your parents?”

“They died a long time ago.”

“How about your relatives?”

“I have no idea.” I continued to answer his questions negligently and he kept on asking me more.

“Do you have some friends you trust? Some people who would definitely help you in times of trouble.”

“Yes... I buried them all yesterday.”

After hearing that, he paused for a while.

“I don’t really care. When is he going to leave?” That was the only thing in my mind as he continued asking more questions while I kept staring blankly on the ground. “What a bother. Just leave me alone already.”

“I am a merchant. I am business minded. I have a lot of connections.” He said in a calm tone trying to sound business friendly, or maybe he just wants to brag. “Little girl, are you interested in Demon Hunting?”

I could not help but react. “D…demon..?” I instinctively looked straight into his eyes because I just realized what kind of abomination left this city in mess.

“Yes. They hunt and slay demons. If you are interested, then I can introduce you to a person who can teach you everything you need to know to become a great Demon Hunter.”

It was interesting so I listened attentively. He reached out his hand and opened his palm in front of me as if he is so confident that I will come along with him.

I stared at his palm and thought, “I don’t think I can trust this man enough. Who knows, he is a merchant. He might just want to sell me off as slave somewhere.” I slowly moved my muddy right hand and touched his. We stood up in sync. “But then again, I don’t really care. He might as well just drag me away.” I said to myself as he guided me into his van.

“I will open this opportunity for you.” He said as he turned the key to start the van. He smiled. “If you have nowhere to go, you have to create a place for yourself.”

I sat beside the driver’s seat. I behaved myself as we continued traveling towards the lands beyond that devastated city.

He coughed a bit like an idiot. I can feel the unease in the air. “I just sort of save your life, didn’t I? So, you’ll have to repay me in the future.” He mumbled, it sounded quite annoying.

“What do you want?” I did not bother to look at him; I just kept my sight on the never ending road in front of us.

There was a short pause. Somehow, I waited hearing what answer he would give me. “Grow up, and become a good person.”

“What in the world did he just say?..” I questioned myself. I abruptly turned my head towards him. I was dumbfounded. I never would have thought again in this life of mine to hear something like that.

He was crazy.

What does he hope to accomplish with this?

How is that “business minded”?

It felt like I am forgetting something very important. There was an unfamiliar feeling inside, throbbing. “I will… t-thank you… very much…” I mumbled with quivering voice as a drop of tear flowed again from my eye.

“What is your name?” He asked while patting my head.

My name?

“Az… lea…” I choked as I was reminded of that which I must never forget. Just when I thought that I am already empty, more tears rain down from my eyes pulling me back to my senses. The cold sensation of water and the warmth of the hand patting me seemed so comforting. “My name is Azalea A. Blakewood.”

I saw him smile as if he was so relieved. I wonder… Does he even realize how much those words saved me? That moment when I thought of nothing but despair, he sparked a light of hope inside me. At that moment, I decided not to give up on myself.

I will forever be in your debt.