“AHHHHHHHHHHH!”

“It’s okay Lu! Lu, wake up!”

My eyes snapped open. My mouth was opening and closing like a fish out of water. I couldn’t remember how to breathe.

“It’s okay Lu! I’ve got you! Calm down! It’s just a dream. See? Your watch is here. Listen”

My sister grabbed the worn brown leather strap of the watch and held the scuffed gold frame up to my ear.

Tick. Tick. Tick.

“It’s okay. Breathe in through the nose and out through the mouth. Follow the rhythm.”

Through the haze, I listened. I breathed in through my nose. Tick. Tick. Tick. I breathed out through my mouth.

“That’s right. Just like that. Just breathe.”

As I started to breathe normally again, I felt my sister slowly remove her right arm that was pinning me down. Her left hand gently placed the watch on my chest over my heart. I felt my heart rate slow and pulse in time with it.

My sister used the sleeve of her expensive ivory, silk blouse and tenderly blotted the sweat beading at my forehead. My eyes locked on to the same creamy colour. Wriggling maggots flashed in my mind.

I repressed a shudder, but not before Alba caught it.

“You okay?” Her thick, chocolate-brown brows crinkled in worry.

No, I’m not. But this isn’t the first time I’ve had a nightmare.

Suck it up Lucine.

“Yup. Same old. Sorry, did my yelling wake you up?”

“Don’t worry about it. I just got back from work anyway.”

Her fine straight brown locks were still slicked back into a professional low ponytail. Her silk blouse was neatly tucked into her black high waisted pencil skirt. She even still had her pearl earrings and makeup on. I glanced at the watch still on my chest. 12:15am.

“With how much time you’re spending on this case, your client better be paying you for those billable hours.”

Her perfect heart-shaped lips turned up into a beautiful smile, “For this case... nope, this one’s a pro-bono.”

“Isn’t this like your fourth pro-bono case this year?”

“Yes ...”

“And I thought you said your bosses told you not to take anymore pro-bono cases?”

Alba sighed, “You know how I feel about this Lu. Even the poor deserve a good defence. I mean, can you imagine if an innocent person went to jail, just because they couldn’t afford a good attorney? And what about the actual criminal? They’d be free to continue committing even more crimes. As dad used to say, injustice anywhere-”

“Is a threat to justice everywhere.”

“Right. And it’s our duty to defend that justice.”

“Got it, bleeding heart and all that.” I clutched my chest and pretended to gag. Alba’s seriousness was replaced by her light, tinkling laugh. It warmed me. That was Alba my sister, in a nutshell. Not just a charming beauty, but one with a heart of gold. “By the way, glad to see you practicing your Judo hold on me.”

Not to mention strong.

“Sorry, I was just-”

“Stop. I know. I’d rather that than me accidentally elbowing you in the face like the last time.”

“Well, yes, I had a hell of a headache, and a black eye. But on the bright side of things, the big boys at work stopped talking down to me.”

“What? Why? Did they suddenly grow a conscience? Or maybe just grow up in general?”

“Just between you and me, I heard a rumour that I got my shiner by beating up a thug and sending him to the ER.”

“Get out. Little miss defender of justice lied?”

“Well... it’s not technically a lie if all I did was not correct them and smile.” Alba winked at me and we laughed.

We continued chatting about her day, about her obnoxious boss, and even about her weirdo colleague, who had a penchant for round-frame spectacles, whom we’d affectionately christened ‘Mr. Potter’. For a moment, everything was great. For just a moment, there was nothing wrong with me.

Our laughter eventually faded and the gold flecks in Alba’s brown eyes darkened with seriousness and worry. I knew what was coming next.

“How was the new therapist? Any better than the previous one?”

The worst one yet.

“Hmm... she was... fine.”

“Lucine Miller. You know better than to try that on me. I interrogate people for a living. Come on. Talk to me.”

“I... It was bad.”

“What happened?”

“She’s a total quack. First she said it was mom and dad’s death that screwed me up. Then when I said that their death had been eons ago while my dreams were more recent, she started making it seem like... like you were the reason I was getting these nightmares. That I’m stressed out because I must feel inferior to you.”

“What? Why would she think that?”

“Since, you know, you’re the all-successful, intelligent lawyer, while I’m just a bum studying in Art school.”

“Wow... what a quack.” We shared a look and I smiled.

What was there to feel inferior about when it was the truth anyway? I had long accepted that Alba was the brilliant older sister. The great defender of justice. And I was just plain ol’ Lucine who couldn’t get over a bunch of stupid nightmares.

“Look Lu, I may be some fancy lawyer, but you? You’ve got talent. God-given, genius-level talent. Don’t sell yourself short. I’m beyond confident you’re going to be a famous artist...like Van Gogh!”

“You do realise that Van Gogh was not a famous artist while he was alive right? It was his brother that was helping to buy his works.”

“Hmm... then I’ll buy your paintings and support you like Van Goh’s brother did!”

“Oh my God! Cringe!” I playfully shoved a pillow in her face to stop her from saying more, but deep down, I smiled.

My sister placed the pillow aside, leant down and gave me a peck on the forehead. “Don’t give up. We’ll find a better doctor. One who will help you with these nightmares.”

“Sure.”

I doubt it though.

I’d seen two sleep specialists, two psychiatrists and a psychologist in the last three months. They had all given the same useless sleep advice and prescriptions. None of which seemed to curb my nightmares at all.

“Right. You need to sleep. Now. You’ve got school tomorrow so you need your energy. Will you be okay? Want me to sleep together with you?”

I almost immediately agreed, but then I remembered what a light sleeper my sister was, how she had work and was likely to need to leave early in the morning for court. I couldn’t keep being a burden.

“Sis I’m eighteen, not eight. I’ll be fine. Get out of here!”

My sister ruffled my hair, stood and walked to my bedroom door. She paused at the doorway and turned to look at me. Her light brown eyes with flecks of gold, warmed me like the rays of the rising sun.

“Love you Van Gogh. Try to get some sleep okay?”

Alba flipped the light switch and closed the door behind her as she left.

Alone in the darkness again, I wondered if my sister knew what a tortured life Van Gogh had led. How he had slowly lost his mind and succumbed to his inner demons in the end. I shook the negative thoughts away, placed my watch on the pillow right beside my ear and closed my eyes.

It’ll be okay Lucine. Just breathe in.

Tick. Tick. Tick.

Breathe out.