《Midara: Paradox》Chapter 22- The cruelest chains are those we put on ourselves.
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Vera's library was a masterwork of stoneshifting and glasswork. The pillars of the building were drawn from the very bedrock beneath the city and shaped into pleasing pillars of white stone and draped with decorative silks. It was the single most impressive construction in Vera, and some argued the most beautiful and glorious construction in the whole of the empire.
Of more immediate concern, it's where Shiara saw Ada for the first time in over a week. She caught sight of the princess at one of the shelves, flanked two people she didn't recognize by guessed must be Celeste and Arakash. For a moment she stopped, frozen and staring at the round face and purple hair that set her heart alight, before ducking into another aisle to hide, and hope she wasn't seen.
Celeste glanced at where Shiara had stood, spotting her the moment she tried to hide. An odd quirk of the daeva's ability to pierce through all deception meant that attempting to avoid notice would draw immediate attention. It was not, however, Celeste's place to involve herself in the situation. Should the two not reconcile by the time permission to access Karana was granted, she'd have to send a messenger to contact the pyrokinetic, but for now she would give them their privacy.
"Here's a text that might be of some interest," she said. She pulled a journal from a side shelf. "Rasha na Sae." A moment of silence as she waited to see if Ada had a glimmer of recognition of the name. "She was perhaps the most accomplished Void mage in the last three centuries. I've read this work myself, but the only thing I took from it is that void follows a different set of rules from any other style. There is almost no overlap."
"Thanks you." Ada accepted the manuscript and with great care took it to a corner to peruse. From the first words onward, it felt to her that was reading in her native language for the first time in her life. Like she had been looking at the world as a picture sitting sideways, and only now had it been righted. Space, proportion, the flow of cause and effect, all noted in mathematical formulas which she had known since she was a child yet had never seen.
"Read it, you say?" Arakash smirked at the daeva. "I think you know more than you're telling us."
"Nothing of direct consequence," Celeste said. "I met Rasha near the end of the revolution. She was one of the many war orphans whom I helped in what few ways I could. A girl who lived through more tragedies than I care to describe, and turned that suffering into a drive to change the world for the better. I both admired and pitied her. None of which matters to you, I suspect."
"You'd be correct." What did matter to him was that Celeste had told none of these details to the princess. It could serve to increase the daeva's influence over the girl, yet she remained silent. He could not understand why, which meant there were deeper secrets being kept from both of them.
Meanwhile, Shiara had snuck out the back and started the run back to the forge. By the time she arrived, her lungs hurt as bad as her chest and her eyes.
"My word, girl, what happened to you?" Marid asked the moment she saw Shiara's face. Her current customer would have to wait a moment.
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"Nothing." Shiara went around the open face of the shop, into the section with the forge. Today was meant to be their day off, which gave her the dark comfort of the forge to hide until she could compose herself. As much as she resented them at times, the inhuman aspects of her biology at least served to protect her eyes from the irritation and redness of crying.
Marid tapped on the door not long after. "Come on, dear. It's not healthy to coup yourself up with the soot and coal."
"I'm fine." Shiara muttered.
Marid opened the door, finding the redhead sitting against a wall, knees up, arms resting on her knees, and head resting on her arms. "I know sound of a girl who's had her heart broken. I promise, it helps to talk. Do I have to get Clemal and the boys to break someone's knees?"
"N-no." Shiara looked up. "I saw a crush at the library. We never were and will never be anything more than friends."
Marid smiled down at her. "I'm sure she's a lovely young lady."
Shiara's eyes widened. "You knew?"
"I raised four boys and three girls, dear," Marid said. "And I've been tending the shop for over thirty years. I've learned to read people, watch their eyes, and learn what they're looking at and why before they know themselves. You're more guarded than most, but it didn't take me long."
"It doesn't bother you that I'm a pervert?"
"It comes with being a teen," she said. "Self control comes with age, and I don't think you're in danger of growing up to be an old lech."
"I meant... the other thing."
"Oh, don't worry dear, I'm not one to judge. I've had a few girls of my own back when I was a young hellion. For me, it was nothing more than some fun with friends that I grew out of. Don't tell my Clemal, though." Marid's voice shifted to a stage whisper. "The ol' coot still thinks I was a virgin on our wedding night. It'd break his heart to know I've been with more women than he has."
Shiara chuckled at the idea, then felt bad about it. "I'm glad at least you understand."
"Knowin' my husband, he might be a little too understanding if he found out." Marid joined in with a chuckle of her own. She'd long ago learned that men had a special way of looking at the world. "Don't let on, but he's been wearin' out the floorboards trying to think up a way to convince you to stay, and we do have a daughter not but a few years your senior. You're not her type, which is a pity 'cause her type is awful. Besides, we both know your heart is set somewhere else."
"On someone who doesn't want me." Shiara's head fell back into her arms.
"Did she say so? Because that offer to break some legs still stands."
"No, I haven't given her a chance to." Shiara laughed at how pathetic she was. "I kissed her, then ran away like a coward. I saw her in the library and ran again, before she knew I was there."
"Then I'd suggest you ask yourself a question," Marid said. "You said you're friends. How important is that friendship?"
More important than I can put into words. "I owe her my life."
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"Important enough to stay by her even if she doesn't return your feelings? No matter how much it hurts?"
Shiara said nothing as she considered the question. "I don't know."
"Well, speaking as an old woman who's seen people waste their lives away wondering what might have been, I suggest you find the answer to your question before it's too late." Marid's smile widened. "Who knows? Even if she's not like you, maybe she'll be like me and give it a try for the fun of it."
"What?!" Shiara looked back up, this time in shock. "How could you say something like that."
"Oh, that's easy." Marid laughed as the girl's face started to match her hair color. "You aren't in any danger of being a lech, but it's far too late for me." With those parting words, she closed the door to the smithy. She had customers to worry about, and she felt confident her advice would stick. Shiara was a smart girl who knew how to appreciate wisdom when she saw it.
Unlike some of her own children, who seemed dead set on repeating and surpassing their all the same mistakes their parents made.
That evening Ada's thoughts on Rasha's theories on the space-between-space which their magic manipulated was interrupted when the sky flashed a brilliant orange. Countless streamers of fire spread out in a ring before flickering out. A minute later, another flame shot into the sky, this one fracturing into three before all exploded into red, yellow, and blue. For a moment, it resembled flowers.
Like many others, Ada left her home to find the source of the display. Another flash, and the simple geometric shapes resembling a child's depiction of a sailboat appeared in the sky.
A rather large crowd arrived at the source before Ada and her companions, as well as a pair of guards who had taken to prevent people from approaching the source. "Do a kitty!" A child's voice shouted from the crowd.
It wasn't long before another multicolored stream of flame rose to the heavens and burst in the sky. While it wasn't detailed, the round shape of a cat's face with triangle ears and something resembling whiskers blossomed outward before vanishing. Cheering rose from the children in the crowd.
"Puppy!" "Dragon!" "Fish!"
Dozens of shapes, most requested by the crowd, were created in the sky before a young redhead stood from her spot on the grass overlooking the river. It had grown dark during that time. "Sorry everyone, I'm growing tired." That was no lie; if it wasn't for all the recent practice with using her magic on weapons, she would have exhausted herself. "Be sure to thank your parents for letting you stay up to watch the show."
The kids did as asked, in a cacophony of high-pitched voices. Now that the display had come to an end, the audience began to disperse. The brief display of magic was a fun distraction to the drudgery of life, but it was little more than a distraction. With exception to newly joined young couple sneaking off to a much more secluded portion of the park who would later embellish the tale for their children, nothing life-altering came of the experience.
Ada remained as the crowds started to clear. "That was... something..." she said. She felt stupid, unable to start the conversation.
"Don't worry, guys, she's here for me," Shiara said. "And thanks again for all your help." There was nothing illegal about showing off with magic, but there were rules about doing so in a safe manner.
"Happy to help," the elder officer said before he and his partner left. Perhaps not the most exciting of assignments, but it did allow them to make the city look good and made the citizens happier. Most mages charged money to put on such displays.
Ada looked at her own guards. "Please don't be offended, but can we have some privacy?"
"Of course," Celeste said. She walked with Arakash until they were out of easy earshot. Considering that both of them had superhuman senses, it took them some distance away.
"Are you well?" Ada asked as her protectors left. "Do you have a place to stay? I'd hate to imagine you're living on the streets."
"No, I managed to find a place to stay," Shiara said. "There's a smithy on the western side of town, with a couple letting me stay there in exchange for being living charcoal. They're nice. Weird. But nice."
"That's good."
Shiara sighed; none of this was going the way she'd recited in her head. "I wanted to apologize. For the whole kissing you and running away thing. I shouldn't have done that, but I won't lie and say I regret what I did, just the way I did it. I... I think I'm in love with you."
"Oh." Ada still had no concept of how to respond.
"It's okay if you don't feel the same." Shiara took one hesitant step forward. "You probably aren't interested in girls that way, anyway, are you?" It was the most dreaded of questions; the one that would define their future in her mind. The worst possibility to Shiara was that Ada was attracted to women, but not her. That would hurt most of all.
"I never thought about it, before," Ada said.
Shiara had not expected that as an answer. "Oh."
Ada shrugged, and turned to face the river. "It seemed pointless." There was little to see in the dark, but she wasn't looking for anything. "I knew from my earliest memories that some day I would grow up, my father would choose a suitable husband, and that would be all I'd ever know of romance. Marrying for love is a luxury royalty cannot afford."
Some dark, angry part of Shiara wanted to shout at Ada to get to the point and give her an answer. "I left home before such things became a concern." She couldn't begin to imagine the horrors of her own betrothal, had she stayed. She almost suggested Ada do the same, that they could run away together. "But if you had a choice, I wouldn't be yours, would I?"
Ada looked up at the moon, then the stars, anywhere but looking at Shiara. "Sorry."
"It's fine." For a moment, Shiara wondered what the range was on daeva lie-detection powers. "I just hope I didn't ruin our friendship."
"No, never." Now Ada could face Shiara. "I don't have many friends, almost everyone I interact with is built around by status as a princess. You're the only person I know other than my brother who cares about me as a person first and a title second."
"Would it be weird if I hugged you?" Shiara asked.
As they embraced, Shiara did her best to convince herself this was enough to satisfy her.
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