I slam awake, my heart like a startled bird in my chest, my head full of sloshing water, everything shifts and sways, my mind grasps, nothing sticks.…

Great now I’m fucking King Canute, Tide I command thee Stop!….Splash…

Whatever I’m lying on is hard against my back, cold. I try to focus, to pull myself together make my brain work... Hands, feet, legs, arms, everything is okay…

My brow knits, why am I worried everything isn’t okay?

I force my mind in to motion. Think damn you… “It is by coffee alone that I set my mind into motion…” bits and pieces fall into place, what was I doing? Car I was in my car. What was I

I Jam my right leg as hard as I can, slamming down the brake pedal…Stomping hard, the Buzz of antilock brakes thrumming up my foot. Car in front of me. Please make it! Squealing tires…

Wait, those are mutually exclusive, that’s the whole point of antilock brakes. Motion, my eyes flicker to the rear-view mirror. Something large, shiny, Chrome. Close. My whole-body tingles in a wave as my adrenal gland turns itself inside out and it all comes together.

That’s a Semi Trac... A giant hand Shoves me back into my seat. A Flash, whiteness punches my face, Airbag? Noise, Crumpling metal. Oh god, that’s not just metal that’s me…

The giant hand makes a fist around the car and squeezes, my legs… The crunching, crackling feel of the bones in my legs breaking. Why no pain? Blood… oh god that’s way too much blood… Pumping spurting onto the hood... that’s really bad.. What the hell, half my arm is on the hood… No! Focus, Direct pressure, Elevate the wound, Pressure point, Tourniquet. Definitely gonna need a tourniquet… Grab it with my left hand and …

Whoa, pretty sure arms aren’t supposed to bend like that.. not in the middle of my forearm… Ok neither works… Throat… Gag… My chest heaves… Pain there is is! Blossoming like a rose of fire deep inside me. Is that copper? No … no that’s definitely iron… My chest seizes again, Great more fucking blood…Pain dancing along every nerve like a barbwire jackhammer, blood on the dash and hood, Like a Jackson Pollak painting with a hand and half an arm sitting in the middle of it…God, I’m Bloody Fucked… heh, Bloody… That’s…f... tired… soo…

Blackness.

I snap back, to here and now, My hand’s start moving over my body again., hang on.. I just checked, I’m all here. I do it again anyway. Hands: 2, feet:2, fingers: 10, toes…. arms, legs… My hands fly to a place more centrally located.… My breath rushes out of me… little Elvis is okay too. Thank God he didn’t leave the building…

Wait, wasn’t I wearing pants? I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t drive my car with no pants on… At least not since quit dating… what’s her name? Sprite, Sprigan… God was she the intersection of the Crazy/Hot diagram… but that was, 20 years ago, more? Long before I… I… something important…

“I see you are awake”

A woman’s voice, deep, with all the curls and twists that makes you want to listen to it, throaty, with that fuzziness, definitely not the girl I was just thinking about, nor my wife.

The giant fist clenches again, this time just my heart…Oh fuck, my wife, my kids… I feel my body getting wobbly, my vision begins to go all tunnel blackness pouring in from the edges. I take a breath, I focus, I try to remember… I was definitely alone in the car headed to work… -That- was an important piece to get back. I breathe deeply again. Trying to calm the fluttering birds roosting in my torso.

The woman’s voice sighs, “I see, you’re going to be one of those… Open your eyes and see if you can sit up”. The voice is definitely coming from my left…

I open my eyes and look at her. Tall, pale, brunette, with a cascade of long curls, or waves, I can never keep those straight when they get big.. Long blue dress colored like flowing water, of flowing water? painted on above the hips, loose and beautifully flowing below. … Hot, definitely hot…

Little Elvis twitches, reminding me he’s in the building… Better sit up with my back to her, if I want a shred of my own dignity… I sit up and swing my legs over the far side, of the… bed? No it’s stone.. Bier?

I look around The floor is stone, but it’s too dark to see the walls. I swing my head up the ceiling is made of…

Stars? Am I outdoors… “Umm, please tell me this isn’t an altar I’m sitting on.

She laughs “It Is and it isn’t, but I promise you It’s not the blood and guts sacrificial kind”

It’s a good laugh, I crane my neck back around and look again.

“Get your mind out of the gutter William, I’m a Goddess, looking good is part of the Job description.”

I let my breath out, my back and shoulders slump…I need to focus. What was granddads Napoleon quote… Yeah “Begin as you intend to go forward”, except, I bet it was in French. Either way ‘Best Foot Forward’, then keep that forward momentum. God or no god, I wouldn’t be here if she didn’t want something. That is, If I am here, and this isn’t just the random firings of a brain starved of oxygen. No Tunnel, no bright lights… There is someone here to meet me… Can’t rule out the lightbulb in my noggin going dim.

Ok, I’ve read enough books where it was real and the PC assumed it wasn’t and got hosed. Downside of pretending it’s real, and its oxygen starvation, none… Vice versa, I get the hose… Got it, operate on the assumption it’s real. Worst case I lose my mind, and get one of those forever hug jackets with the sleeves that tie in back and a prescription for Lithium. Speaking of drugs, that’s another explanation… That would explain my head at least, no euphoria though, a bad trip maybe?

Where was I? oh yes, If they, she, didn’t want something, I wouldn’t be here... It was time to haggle. Goal #1 set, I lock what little focus I have on that objective. I pull the air back in… Head up Shoulders back… I look her in the eyes, Time for goal #2, I need information.

“Call me Bill, Ok, I’ll bite. If you’re a goddess, prove it, how about some pants to go with that self-control you wanted.”

Her mouth smirked in a way that said pleased, but her eyes had just enough measured squint to say I wasn’t home free yet.

“It’s Goddess, not goddess, it’s a title, capital G, but …” The smirk was there… but the eyes sparkled… just a bit dangerously…

I stood up, suddenly not wanting my back to her. Looked down and sighed. “Really, Blue speedos and a 50-year-old dad bod going to pot are not a good combination. I’m not a German beach goer, and it’s completely useless for hiding the gallant reflex. Which was, after all, the point…”

The amusement was definitely in her eyes now too. “It was your point, not mine, that will teach you to sass me, I earned that capital G you know…”

I stepped briskly around the… Altar… and resisted my temptation to sit back down on it. Just in case. I set myself, standing ramrod straight to hide the wobbliness in my legs.

“Ok, for the sake of argument, let’s assume you are a Goddess, with a capital G… I’m pretty sure you’re not -My- God…ess. Despite the whole old guy, young guy, ghost who knocks up virgins thing, I’m pretty sure my god is Male, maybe a little too definitely male to be honest, what with the Temper and Jealousy schtick.”

Yep, that’s definitely amusement…

“Blunt, I see, I like that. So, I’ll return the favor… If you were really devoted to Him, you wouldn’t be here in the first place.”

My turn to smirk “Point Goddess, 1 to zero. You got me there, but while I wasn’t a bible thumper, I did believe in him, in the nebulous higher power sort of way. You know, a Deist like…”

“Yes an atheist would be of no use to me either”. She chuckled. Amusement was a good look on her.

“Again, for sake of argument, can you prove to me you’re not the devil then? No I guess he’s male too… Devil-ess?”

With an arched brow, she began “Shaitan? Satan? No definitely not my Color scheme… or my kink. My name is Danu and I’m my -own- Boss.”

My eyebrows rose in surprise, “As in namesake of the Blue Danube, biggest river in Europe? Mother of the Tuatha De Danann? Or the one from the Rig Veda, that spawned all the gods who died fighting team Vishnu.”

“Good, you’ve heard of me, that will make things simpler. And it was Team Krishna, and more exiled than slain. But yes, Danu, Danube, Dana, Don, Dawn, I go by many names, and I’m the mother of much more than the Fae, and the Lost Danuvas. Which brings me to why you are here today.”

“Because you are a holy mother?” I said, strongly avoiding words like large, huge or great in that sentence… see, I can learn!

“Because you are dead, and I could use your services.”

“Uhhh..” I laughed, “that’s a little too wide open even for me, I’m going to have to pass on that one. Besides I’m a happily married man.”

“Oh so it’s 2-0 zero now?” she said archly.

“Fine, if you’re keeping score, now back to the me being dead part.”

“Oh I definitely keep score, it’s part of the whole Goddess thing, trust me.”

That’s definitely a twinkle of humor… or sarcasm… Yep, let’s call it humor and move on. Begin as you intend to go forward, maintain forward momentum to get you over the bumps along the way.

“The dead thing?” I reminded her.

“You are dead, you can never go back”, she said, lifting one had to make the point. “No Earth, no Wife no Kids, no Mortgage, no Taxes, nada zilch, that’s a done deal. You have exactly two choices, stay here and serve my interests, or move on and see what next.”

“Ok, let’s put a pin in the whole ‘what’s next’ discussion…” I look her straight in the eyes. “ I can’t go back, You’re a Goddess, why can’t you send me back, that Jesus guy got resurrected, and that Lazarus guy too, now that you think of it. If you don’t’ even have the power to send me back, why should I believe in you?”

“It’s against the Rules. Am I really going to have to have the whole, ‘The Gods play games by rules, because destroying universes got tiresome’ conversation with you, it’s practically a trope back on Earth by this point isn’t it. I can’t go backwards, but -we- can go forwards.”

“Ok you have a point, 3-0 I’m starting to see a trend here.”

“As well you should, I am a Mother and a Goddess. One hand on her hip now, the other down at her side.

“And a Mother of a Goddess…” I drawled an eyebrow raised.

She twinkled at me again… I wonder if that’s starting to be a good sign or a bad one… Let’s assume good till proven otherwise.

She brought her elegant hand to her perfect lips in pantomimed thought, “Obvious, but I’ll give you half point for effort on that one. Back to the point of the conversation though. I want you to serve my interests. In exchange, in this, your -next- life, you’ll get the whole lit-rpg package, skills, levels, points, GUI everything. A gamers wet dream made real. Note, this isn’t how things are for everyone, most people just live their normal lives. But for you and folks like you, or with you, game-vision it is.” She ended with a firm nod, as if she’d won her point.

“People like me?” Vulcan eyebrow power activates, round 2!

“Oh honey, you didn’t think you were unique, did you? I know men all like to think they are the first, but isn’t this taking it just a bit far? Mother Goddess remember… More kids than you have years, whole pantheons of heroes, godlings and gods, major minor and demi, both first and second or more hand. I’m founding a new pantheon here, and I’m doing it from the ground up. You see there are already several pantheons of gods already in place, so I have to be sneaky and clever. That’s where you come in”.

“Am I Sneaky or Clever?”, adding a twist in one corner of my mouth.

“I’m pretty sure you’re both, or I wouldn’t have brought you here. But in tried-and-true fashion, you’re going to start at the bottom. You will have to show me what you’ve got.”

“I like the sound of that…” I said bringing one hand to my chin, ”but I get to become a god?”

She held her hand out flat and tipped it back and forth in a ‘sort of’ gesture...”You’re on the path to become a hero, but promotions aren’t out of the question. Be clear on this though, you’re not the main point or the main goal, you’re the gardener.”

“That sounds thrilling.” I drawled sarcastically.

“A heroic gardener I grant you, but your job is to nurture and protect the seed I give you. The tiniest sliver of an iota of my divinity, so they become a hero, and a godling, and with luck all the way up to a god.” Her hands moved to her hips in a gesture a billion mothers have probably used. “Your immediate job is a keep them alive, keep them growing and make them Legen….dary”

“Mother Goddess making a ‘met your Mother’ reference, nice! The Mother of all jokes you might say.” I twinkled back at her.”

One hand left her hip, gesturing dramatically, “Bzzt, no points to you, the call back was too obvious. I like my gardeners clever, and capable of thinking their way out of problem sideways. So It’s a point-based skill buying system you’ll be running under…” A wry smile was certainly a good look for her, not that I’d seen a bad one yet.

“Gurps for gods? Champions for champions, Hero System for heroes? Sounds right up my alley, I’m liking the way this is shaping up, but it’s time for Question #1, what’s in it for me? Why don’t I leap along to what’s next, and go to my eternal reward.”

“Or your eternal damnation, even I don’t know what’s next, those who move on might move to better and might move to worse, but one thing is certain, nobody ever comes back.”. Arms Crossed across her chest now, which made interesting things occur. Down boy! Married man. What I’m not dead… oh wait. maybe I am? or was?

“Right rules, net push, no point to the goddess, you’re a smart mother… Goddess, you’ve got to have more for my motivation than ‘Promotion isn’t off the table’, I haven’t fallen for that one since I quit working retail. Cheats, powers, scaling items, phat lewtz, crates of starter points, show me that gelt!”

“Okay, I like your Moxy, how about these apples, there are 3 levels of Boons, and 3 levels of Gifts, Legendary, Greater and Lesser…You chose the boons, I choose the gifts. I pay for both. You get one of each, 6 total. And before you negotiate, that’s the max I’m allowed by the rules until you earn more, for instance, by serving me.”

“Quest rewards?” I asked. Turning my head and lifting one eyebrow partly.

“If you like to think of it that way, sure. That’s as good a description as any.”

“Good, I like Quest rewards”, I said rubbing my mental hands together in atavistic greed. “And the down side? There is always a down side, do I start out as a Rat, or a magic gem buried in the mud what? How does my new life begin?”

“Stock bog standard, with no Boons or Gifts? You walk out of here just like you are, all your knowledge from the old world, and all the mileage too.“ A tilted head and a small nod from her there.

“I can see the hook and the bait on that one, so I hear a big but coming…” Firmly, I’ve got to keep my voice coming out firmly. If this is a fantasy it’s a good one, if it’s reality…

Her small graceful movements cease and eyes narrowed at me dangerously. “No big butt jokes, it will not dispose me kindly towards you. I may be a mother and a Goddess, but I’m also a woman, don’t you forget it.” She paused dangerously frozen a moment, seeing her point had sunk in, before going on “One catch, no jumping the tech tree, no inventing gunpowder, or fighter jets or something… First of all, that’s waaay harder than the hand waving in most books makes it seem, and secondly, I’m here in the age of legends for a reason. Legends are fertile ground in which heroes and gods can bloom.” She pointed a finger at me to emphasize her point on that one. “You work -within- the paradigm.”

“Noted. And trust me from the moment I laid eyes upon you, your femininity has been irresistibly at the top of my attention, Honest Hindu.”

“Irresistibly, eh... “, she smirked, “forgiven, for now, 3-1, half point to you, still Goddesses favor”

“As it should be.”

“And don’t you forget it. Boons and Favors, are you in?” Her turn to do the spock eyebrow thing.

“Provisionally, I’m still waiting for that proverbial proof in the pudding, am I not? The way I see it, odds are better than not, none of this is real.”

“Ok pudding time it is, your lesser gift, Gui, and a character sheet” she said as she waved her hand.

A red, A blue and yellow bar, just tall enough to see, appeared in the upper left of my vision, and a blue “?” appeared in the upper right. Very cool, but I wasn’t about to fall for that nonsense, fantasy or no fantasy, I was getting the dog doo end of the stick.

I straighten, hand out one finger pointing, taking a half step towards her. “Hold on, I cry foul, your first pitch was ‘the whole lit RPG experience’, GUI and character sheets are part and parcel of that, no giving me ‘gifts’ that I’ve already bought and paid for there, young lady!”

She actually dimpled at that that, young lady I’ll have to remember that.

Consideringly, one finger stroking her cheek, she said, “okay, fair, I see your point, 3-2, one to you. Let me think…Your spark of divinity, boy or girl?”

“Is the relationship paternal, or companionable?” I drawled, hand falling back to my side.

“Oh it’s definitely companionable, not paternal at all, why does it matter?”

“I’ve always wanted a little girl, I had 2 sons you see, and girls are rare as hens’ teeth in my family, only 3 since the civil war, my family makes boys aplenty…But, I must admit the idea of raising a teenaged goddess with superpowers makes me feel just a wee bit out of my depth.”. The hand returns this time with two finger and inch apart, but my feet slide back to ‘at ease’ shoulder width apart..

“You show great wisdom, if a lack of fortitude… net push, no point scored, but I get your drift.” She said, nodding slowly.

“Sneaky and clever you said, not stalwart and noble.”

“True, but I don’t want a back stabber either, part of your job is to be an example.”

“You picked me, you know that’s not my gig, but there are times when a little constructive cowardice will keep both me and the micro godling alive. Don’t hedge me into being a paladin here… Wait? Can I be a Paladin? You said full litrpg, that means classes, right?” I ask, eyebrows raised again.

I got the wiggling hand, maybe yes, maybe no gesture again. ”Kema say Keam sah, Point buy remember? Everyone starts with at least one class, more of a profession honestly, and the class brings a specialty or two, a subset of skills. Skills that are a part of your profession\specialty are bought at half cost. Though there is also a skill growth from being used mechanism too, it’s a bit of a kludge, but it’s an excellent motivator, I do adore skillful people, one of my pantheons were called “The People of Skill” after all.”

“Net push, no score on dice, still 3-2 your favor. ‘People of Skill’ you say, I like the sound of that. I get to take all my skills from the old world along with me?”

“More you get to take your knowledge along with you.’ Her arms sweeping to point a finger at yours truly. “You’ll have to find a way to apply that knowledge in the world to get it credited as a skill. The more your knowledge applies, the system grows the skill faster.” More distracting gestures back and forth with her arms.

“Typical fantasy setting I presume, I’ve got 25 years in the SCA, doing geeky martial arts, and a handful of years doing legit martial arts, and Maker-wise, I’ve been a renaissance dabbler the whole time, that should come in handy.”

“Indeed, part of why I picked you, renaissance dabbler though, that gives me an idea for your lesser gift” She waved a finger and I got a popup dead center of my vision. -That- will get annoying even if it’s translucent. Note to self, I’d better figure out how to suppress messages in combat.

“Oohh Traveller, I loved Jack of All Trades, good choice, one of my favorites” I purred.

“Yeah, yeah, Romani boy, I’ve got your Legendary gift picked out, but I’m still struggling on just the right Major gift.” She put her hand to her chin with one finger to her mouth again.

“Lay that gift on me, maybe it’ll spark an idea.”

“Huh, Resurrection, NOW it’s suddenly on the plate? Nice twofer by the way, I caught that.”

“Different worlds different rules, bub. Not to mention, this is character creation, things are more malleable” She said dryly… “Besides I want you to stick around, not get killed by the first angry rabbit that crosses your path. You die permanently and my child’s chances of succeeding go way down.”

“OK resurrection, how’s it work, at my bind point? at my corpse? does loot drop when I die?” I ask my hand out, fingers spread, thumbs outermost and a wry tilt to my head.

“Resurrection at your corpse, no loot drop, no point penalty, but bind points, that’s a good idea.” Hand beneath her chin, which is then firmly resting on her fist… Rodin, eat your heart out.

“Points? Selected? “, I say brightly. ”That Implies more than one, and Recall that implies I can port to them voluntarily, how many do I get” I said trying not to get excited, but fast travel is SUPER useful, especially in a world where it’s rare.

“For now you only have 1, there are ways to increase that in game, like major quest rewards and pleasing your… wait, let’s say making your Goddess happy”, that cupids bow smile returned again.

But, that time it was my eyes that twinkled…“Carrot meet mule, got it”.

“Precisely, you did literally ask for it after all.”

“Mea cupla, Point Goddess Score 4-2.” Dimples again, her Goddessness liked to win too, it seemed, not exactly a surprise.

I mentally clicked the Question mark, and popped up my character sheet… and started scrolling.

“Hey there are only 4 class choices, Warrior, Priest, Rogue and Mage, where is my Paladin action at?”

“Unless you buy an advanced class or race, class choices come later, with options to specialize based on your skill and levels. Before you get lost digging into all the choices, let me make a few suggestions.”

“Shoot”

“Be sure Pick at least 1 Profession, and 1 specialized skill or secondary profession, this will focus your growth early on when survivability is crucial. Also, there are 2 boons I think you should look at first. Before you dig into the others.” She was all business now.

“If you are a hallucination, you’re an orderly and logical one, I’ll give you that.”

She paused, awaiting my nod, then continued. “First and foremost, is the lesser Boon “System Chat”, you’re going to be in a party from the second you hit the ground. Long term payoff. Like Recall, it’s rarity will make it valuable. Communication is a big deal, and later it will evolve past Party Chat, it adds friends lists, and eventually guild and raid chat options, even more. Maybe it looks like a low immediate power boost, but it has big long-term reward. It’s way too easy to overlook it when things like fireball and earth shattering kabooms are on the table. I’m not forcing you here, Boons = Choices, Free will is the name of the game, but think about it.”

“Ohhh fireball, thou temptest me towards damnation fair lady.. but I see your point. I’ve read too many novels where a little distance communication could have been a massive force multiplier. Hoping to avoid those situations, but communication means coordination. And the other hint?”

“The Major boon “Peak Me”, and no it’s not for peeping tomfoolery. Among other things”, she looked at my spare tire, and it’s spare tire, critically, “It’ll fix that, what did you call it, 50 year old sagging dad bod, you’ll be restored to your peak mentally, emotionally and physically, plus knowledge will be at it’s peak to. Anything you know from your old life get boosts toward the leveling through the use system. As memories and reflexes are at their peak too. While not immediately, you will quickly return to your peak, you peak in all areas. Which actually means, better than you actually were at any 1 give point in time. It’s a pretty solid foundation to build on. There are some other great ones, depending upon your game play style, though so don’t just take my word. Character Background for instance, can give you an early boost instead of a longer term one, and your Legendary boon, you’ll just have to pick based on your play style. I have faith you’ll pick a good one…”

“Hmm.. “ I pondered, “the game is long term though right, I didn’t miss the Ageless Perk, that implies we’ll be at this a long time.”

“From your perspective, certainly”

“Then my inner min maxxer is going to lean me heavily towards large long term gain… What are perks? “

“Your call” she said loftily, a little too loftily… “Perks are Boons, that -you- have to pay for, instead of coming from me. Perks and Disadvantages, it’s a point buy-in system remember, typical stuff.” She was gesturing broadly with her hands again. ” Gifts, Boons and Perks have a large overlap, though it’s not perfect, some abilities you have to pick as perks, others can only come from me or one like me.” Now instead of too lofty, she was too smiley, way too smiley…

“Okay, got it, side question, what are you smiling about this time? It’s certainly not this speedo.”

“Just making a bet with myself about your legendary boon, I suspect I’ve got you pegged, oh geek and gamer boy.”

“Do tell then, you’ve held my hand so far. I’m not sure if that’s a mother thing or a Goddess thing”

“It’s both, I’m invested in your and the iotas survival after all. You will be the forerunners of my new pantheon. You should keep that secret by the way, if the old gods figure out what you’re up to, they’ll squash you as fast as they can. Masquerade as one of my servants certainly, growing my religion for sure, but not as potential god and partner that you are.”

“I’d rather be the Landcrusier of your pantheon, better wheel base”.

Her face puckered up in a half sour expression, “Ha ha”, she said with little humor, I should take a point away for that one, but I’m feeling magnanimous”.

“And you’re ahead on points, and simultaneously clearing the board, getting me voluntold wise to do your will.” It was my turn to twinkle again.

“That has not avoided my notice” Dimples, definitely dimples.

Let’s see, Legendary Boons… Aerial Race, you become a member of a race that can fly. Astral projection…I kept scrolling

Okay I spotted the hook on her line, #3 in the list “Adventurers Pack, Includes the perks; Regen: 1, Magic Inventory :1, Automap:1, Party Chat:1, Quest Interface: 1, Navigation Interface:1, Trade Interface: 1, Identify: 1 and ‘Adventurer’ as a Profession.” Nice good coverage, basically a MMORPG starter set… Wish it had a couple potions, but otherwise a great place to start… Also, the very fact that this Boon exists means by default I’d get -none- of that stuff. I remember the joy of getting lost in early MMORPGS with no map and nav systems… Or playing a character with zero health and mana regen, 100% dependent on potions. Yeah, she had my number on that one.

Though the option ‘Magical Race’, select 3 magic based skills, +100% to all magic based skill growth, and Magic skill costs reduced by %5O was pretty damn sweet too..

LOL, Magma Man, you become a race made out of magma… sounds pretty cool, or maybe hot, but I don’t want to run around getting called “Man Magma” that’d be undying harassment, eternal embarassment.

So many choices.

I had to ask “Party Chat:1 , how does that differ from System Chat.”

Her smile dimmed, and she said, “At low level, not at all, but with System chat, you get the upgraded skills automatically as they come available, with party chat you only get the option to buy some of them”.

“And if I Pick both?”

“You start with an extra level in the skill.” She said dryly.

“Well that was weak sauce, that was for sure…”

If I dump System Chat for the free Party Chat, what can I get in its stead.

Magical Profession: Instead of starting as a mage, you begin as an advanced class, you automatically get the mage starting skill ‘Mana Manipulation’ at level 1.…

Lots of options there. If I get magic, I need both utility, and healing, lots of choices under Magic class. 25 years of swinging a sword in the SCA should cover basic damage for now.

Magical Profession: Wizard, with material, verbal and somatic components you cast a wide variety of spells. Ugh, Material Components, that sounds painful, Keep looking.

Magical Profession: Healer Your mana can be used directly to heal or wound yourself and others, okay that’s at the top of the list. Lots of varied spells, buff, cures, etc. Can I get something with a bit more utility though… and will allow me to leverage my knowledge better, something that will let me cheat like mad.

Magical Profession: Shaper, you can use mana directly to reshape mundane materials, quality and quantity increase with skill. Utility, thy name is shaper. Plus, Shaper only has a few spells under it, so your points don’t get spread all over. A focused set of skills will grow faster, than 50 different spells, for say healer. Focus and Utility, nice.

I bet you can close wounds with it too. I thought about the utility of this magic style, images of opening locks, and cutting through traps, breaking chains, and bending swords in my mind. Put a pin in that one, and let’s see the non-profession options.

Troll Regeneration, you start with an additional 5 levels in regeneration (+5 hp per min regen). Great for me , not for the munchkin.

Vampiric Bite – You gain the ability to heal by drinking your enemy’s blood. Grants the race “vampire”.

What if I’m allergic to sunlight. Too risky.

I continued shopping, till I had my Boons all spent.

William Gardener (Bill) : Level 1 ageless human.

Str 13

Int 17

Wis 14

Con 10

Char: 15

Dex 15.

Hp: 10 (con*Lvl)

Mana: 21 ( (int+wis)*lvl )

Character Points: 0 out of a total of 1300

Professions: Warrior, Adventurer, Mage:Shaper

Gifts

Resurrection: 2 (L)

Binding: 1 (M+)

Jack of all Trades: 1 (M-)

Boons

Adventurers Pack(L)

Peak Me(M+)

Magical Profession: Shaper (M-)

Perks

Regen: 1

Magic Inventory :1

Automap:1

Party Chat:1

Quest Interface: 1

Navigation interface:1

Trade Interface: 1

Identify: 1

Adventurer - "Hi hooo , hi hoo…"

Ageless – “You cannot die, Mcleod, Accept it, as long as you don’t lose your head, highlander”

Kinsthesia – “Physical skills come more easily to you”

Disadvantages:

Large appetites – “You have a large appetite for life in all its flavors, remember that dad bod going to pot? This is why.”

Asthma& Allergies: “wheeze, Cough, wait up guys” Stamina -50% 100CP

Chubby: Speed -10% 200 CP

Skills:

Magical Shaping:1

Mana Manipulation:1

Bind:1

Recall 1:

Melee: 1

Jack of all Trades: 1

She gave me the last name Gardener? Real subtle. Wait.. WTF, Character Points zero, I’m getting gypped again. “Hey Danu, why am I starting at zero points? You usually get a passel of points at character generation?” I asked acerbically, my eyes hooded and my smile gone.

“Yours got spent, and then some by ‘Peak Me’, to be fair, you should probably be negative, despite the disadvantages you got, but You’re on my team, so I’m not as focused on fair as I would otherwise be. Look you are literally starting at level 1, instead of level zero”

“Yeah I’ve noticed, any way you can bend the rules to give me some character points, I need skills to round out my character. Plus By god.. er By you, Asthma and Allergies, sucked in my last life, I want those wiped clean ASAP.”

“Remember you’ll be quickly re-learning skills from your past life’s knowledge…” she said, absently her eyes far in the distance. Clearly, she had an idea coming on.

“Yes, yes, we’ve been over that, Eagle Scout covers bushcraft, survival and camping, but what about languages, and more spells.”

“Are you willing to trade? 4-2 remember, favors for favors?”

“4 for you and 2 for me, that doesn’t seem like a fair trade?”

“Well, you did earn them, which is what gives me leeway, but maybe you should have been more clever, hmm?”

“Ha, ha…Can I just tell you some Jokes and score some free points real quick?” I thought aloud.

“Sure, If you want to devalue both our points till they are meaningless.” She countered.

“What exactly are they worth now? If I can devalue them, I can uh, up value them too, right?”

“Exactly, the more you offer me for them, the more I can offer you for them.” That predatory light was back in her eyes again. “Do you want to trade them 1 for 1 to me for unbound favors?”

“Define unbound, do you mean infinite, or without preexisting conditions and limits?”

“The second one obviously, or there would be no point it keeping score”. She purred way too smoothly for my nerves…Her eyes just enough more than slits you could see the shine through her lashes.”

“And You’re the mother of the Tuatha de Danann, of the light and dark fairies of myth and legend… Famous for screwing people over because of a missing comma… Yeah no, fuck a bunch of that. Favors, sure but limited and firmly bound. First off I get veto power with no consequences... Nada, zilch, nothing.”

“Agreed, Not my fault they all turned out a bunch of lawyers..”, she was still purring… Think quick old man. She’s thinks she’s got you.

“Favors, voluntary, You can ask, I can veto as discussed, and you can’t strong arm me into things either. All Carrot, no stick, quest rewards, remember?”

”So you are willing to undertake 4 quests for me? Quests or Quest chains?”, less purring, more thinking… That’s a good sign for me, I hope. Let’s nail down the Gelt and any other limits I can think of.

“Quest chains are okay, as long as the rewards at each step are commensurate with the effort and risks. As discussed before, all carrot, no stick, no punishment for failure, no timed quests either.”

“Agreed, any more conditions?” she asked, her voice much looser and more friendly again.

“Not at this time, but I reserve the right to renegotiate up until all points are cashed in.” I countered.

“A bit open ended for me, do you agree quests can’t be re-negotiated once accepted?”

I checked that worm for hooks to see if I should spit it out, and didn’t see any beyond the agreement. “As long as my points have the same condition”.

“Agreed, are we done?”, the twinkle was less predatory and more amused, but I didn’t feel quite safe yet.”

“What the Character Point value of my 2 points.”

“Roughly a level, 1000 CP or the equivalent in favors, each”.

“Agreed on the final condition, that we can both earn more points as before by mutual agreement?”

“Definitely, agreed and bound, the score stands 4 to 2, favor Goddess”. Dimples again, are they a good sign or a bad one. Time will tell.

The purr was definitely back too, I closed my eyes and waited for it.

“I see you appreciate your position.” She waved a hand.

“Really? an escort quest and it’s open ended? Not even going to kiss me first?” I retorted my eyebrows coming together.

“Kisses aren’t included in our deal and must be negotiated separately” Oh the good dimples! Nice.

She continued, “Plus you said rewards commensurate with Risk and Effort, you said nothing about time.”

“Time -is- effort, I’m not up for a quest that open ended. I can still refuse”.

“Hmm…” and she waved a finger again…

That worm seemed reasonably hook free, most games you can get to level 10 in a day, 2 tops. though it’s still an escort quest, big effort, big reward?

“I Accept, but no changing my name to Charles.”