Chapter 24

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No matter what you say, doing nothing is great, but it's exhausting. Not everyone is able to do it.

Deciding that I had had enough of miracles and adventures, I decided to take a break.

In the morning, I sent Junior to work, to improve my trading skills, and fell back into bed and tried to sleep. It didn't work; with no computer, there was nothing to stop me from thinking about what was going on around me... and that was exactly what I didn't want to do. Usually, when you sit down in a cozy chair there are a thousand reasons not to live real life: videos, guides, comments. Of course, on the phone, it is also present but I was going to do nothing, right? And in my magic mirror, there are too many secrets, you open it and it will drag you away.

But what to do in a room where all the entertainment was just looking at a pile of junk and incomprehensible packages that my "second self" had dragged along? No, there is always the option of going out to eat. But after an hour I gave up because I could not eat anymore, and there was nothing to eat. I sighed, opened the Delivery app, and took a simple quest. Not for the sake of making money, but for a purpose in life. I needed to take up to two hours... Because it's only safe to get into Grandpa's house in the afternoon. More or less safe. No, he's not some monster, he's much worse - a man with strong principles! And those principles include the obligatory moralizing conversations with the only grandson, as soon as this grandson appears within reach.

In the afternoons, my grandfather works with texts, that is, he sits and makes up ideas about how people used to live in the old days. This process takes place in the office on the second floor, and the closet I need is on the first floor, and I will be able to get to it to take something... Whether my plan will work or not I'm not sure. If I believe my grandfather's lectures and my intuition, it should work. After all, everything around here is so delusional, why not?

You shouldn't go before lunchtime, because the venerable ancestor works with students. When I was young and foolish, I sometimes wandered into my grandfather's house in the morning, and it didn't end well... Last year he once quizzed me about ritual sacrifices in the culture of ancient peoples. I was not the only one, but a dozen of his students - we first killed chickens, then drew signs with their blood, and then burned them to please heaven.

Burning fresh meat?! Without even trying to marinate it?!

Even the dogs looked at my grandfather with reproach, not just us. I then rushed to my grandmother's pot of pies, while the students tasted only smoke to better understand the existence of the ancient deities. At least grandpa didn't make them starve and ritually purify themselves.

"Hello, Delivery..."

"Oh, I know you!"

The young woman looked at me with a smile. Actually, I was supposed to pick up an item here and take it to the buyer.

"You are the Happy Buddha!"

Actually, fame is already boring me. But what to do with the truth: "Yes, that's me."

The woman immediately interrupted: "Are you a practitioner of spiritual arts? I also try to do yoga and read the writings of the ancient Gurus... But how did you do it?"

Quickly going over in my mind all the things I had done in the last few days, I clarified: "What exactly?"

Pulling her phone out of her pocket, the client flicked her fingernails across the screen in a stunning rhythm and then turned to me. They were filming from somewhere overhead, and I could barely see my face. But it was definitely me. It must have been taken by someone who thought that the jackass who parked on the sidewalk was wrong. And now he had to take it off while I was testing the glove by moving my car!

Dejectedly watching the video I saw under it statements along the lines of "apparently, a former weightlifter, they quickly get fat, and the muscles are wow!" Then there was a long thread of discussions with expert opinions, which I scrolled through with increasing sadness. By about the 300th comment I had been given a heroic biography. Which I, an ordinary guy from the provinces, was a sportsman, dragging tractor tracks, but, having stood up for a girl, was injured and did not make the Olympic team. After that, I sold out everything to pay for the operation. The doctors tried, but something went wrong. However, I still have not lost heart and now I work as a courier, at the same time restoring my form. At the same time, it turned out that I had been seen in three cities in the country and, for some reason, in Goa, where I had gone for Indian spiritual practices.

Well, maybe they saw me, how do I know where the Delivery trail will show me to people.

I was distracted from my thoughts by a customer who was patiently holding the phone in front of me: "You know, I try and I even seem to succeed, but not always. What is your secret? Such power!"

And what should I tell her? When I put the package in my bag, I looked at my client and said: "Diaphragm. It's all about proper breathing. Practice, you can do it. Not right away, but you will!"

The woman looked where my diaphragm should be and wondered. I did not say goodbye, though she tried to shout something in the back. It would seem that the usual philistine, but the System caught her, too - with what? Cooks for sale flower soap in a randomly bought at a flea market antique cauldron of a potionist?

Just in case, I scanned in all directions like in a horror shooter, but there were no unpleasant surprises. Only when I got on the bus did an ad pop up, "Download our app - all the hot witches are a mile away!" which I resolutely removed. I can find them without your aid.

Should I think about something important? I've noticed for a long time that as soon as one is distracted from earning one's livelihood, one begins to wonder about the meaning of life.

But what can I do, there are too many incomprehensible things in the System.

For example, what is this very "warranty"? The direct effect on...

"Can we take a picture with you?"

Playing with complacent pleasure, I posed with two pretty girls, who immediately jumped out of the bus. They were only interested in me as an excuse to take selfies, which was a shame...

So what am I talking about? For example, why do I need to choose a setting? Because here, in the main world, I do quests completely unrelated to it. And outside of it - both of my "rescue missions" weren't in dungeons with dragons at all. Just for the names of the upgrades and rewards? Or is there a way to connect to the "world-forming egregore"?

I couldn't think of anything good to say. I spat and focused on the latest prod of a lazy man, but as soon as I started reading, I was there. The quest was surprisingly simple, I only had to stand in the shade once, until the permit rang. Walking into the old garage cooperative I walked along with the shabby gates, stopped at the scanner-lit ones, and knocked three times loudly. Behind the door someone cursed loudly in surprise, something fell with a clang, and then the door opened and my age peeked out:

"What do you want?"

It smelled like a perfume store from the garage.

"Delivery, order number..."

"Uhu, give it there."

He immediately tore open the bundle he had received, pulled out the box, and opened it. Inside was a stack of perfume sticks.

"Thanks, have a nice day."

The door slammed shut and the deadbolt slammed from the other side. I listened just in case, but no one was calling for help, so I threw my bag behind me and headed for the exit. What was the point of this simple "B-rank quest"? Why send me specifically? What secrets are all these doors hiding?

Bleep.

A new quest?

After reading the description, I turned around and drove back. The second time I knocked on the same door, I felt sorry for my fists.

What the hell do you need?"

"Did you call?"

This time I got a closer look. He was a bit below average, with a slim build, with plain clothes, his hair disheveled, his eyes averted - a typical maniacal nerd, to cut a long story short. All the more so, he was busy with something suspicious in the garage. And some odor he needs to break!

Just in case, I set a teleport point and repeated: "A call came into the Delivery System. What needs to be sent and where?"

The silent man was silent for almost a minute, looking at me from head to toe, and then he clarified: "So you're the demon?"

"Watch what you're saying!"

I pushed him with my belly and entered the garage. I was in the garage, and everything was as it should be: a pentagram on the floor, and occult signs on the walls, from four different systems, if I had remembered my grandfather's lectures. Incense, too. So either he's trying to get the spark back into the carburetor, or he's summoning some otherworldly entity.

"You're serious. Why didn't you cut up the virgin?"

The client did not joke about the rarity of the ingredient. He walked around me, huddled against the walls, stopped at the workbench, picked up some printouts, and then began: "I conjure thee by the names of higher powers - obey! I have summoned thee in the day of judgment, and sacrifices have been offered, and words have been spoken..."

"Hey?"

He snapped, glanced at me angrily, and continued: "The words are spoken! Therefore execute the contract as it was spoken..."

"You should at least list the "names"! Who do you think I should be afraid of? Who's your protection?"

Nerd was silent and began to flip through his workpieces, dropping the sheets and cursing in a low voice. He did not find the necessary sheet, got upset, took out a bundle of beads, and began to mutter some pseudo-Shomeric nonsense, confusing gods and demons. I got bored and read the description of the quest:

"To pick up the box of necessities and deliver them to those in need at the exact place and time. Don't harm them, make sure they get it, report back one way or another - is that correct?"

The loser demonologist nodded.

"Where is the stuff?"

The box with the canister bolted on top was slightly larger than my bag. But it fit, of course, in its entirety and without any problems.

"Where should I take it?"

The guy silently handed me a piece of paper. The time... Damn, wow, I've never walked like that before. The place... even wower. And the recipient... wow.

With a respectful look at the romantic, I clarified: "Why do you need it?"

"Because it was not fair!"

I hummed and nodded respectfully. It's a stupid idea, but you can still feel the style. It's a pretty smart. I don't know what the System will take from him, but it's classy.

"Where do you want me to send you the report?"

I didn't say goodbye.

The quest trail started at the stop where I was supposed to wait for the signal. Maybe it's not just foot couriers at the Delivery? Some on horses, some on griffins... some on inconspicuous trucks.

No one was bothering me this time, I just sat there and mentally prepared to freeze. It would be cold out there, and the cape was unlined. All hope was that the trail would lead out at the right minute and I wouldn't have to wait long.

A woman and her dog sat down next to me. The little spaniel twitched in place, then sat down. He looked at the owner, but she was rummaging in her bag and did not answer the silent call. The dog suddenly jumped up, stared somewhere-I followed, then picked up the scanner. The girl's tail was twitching nervously about ten paces away. And her ears were flattened, clearly nervous.

"Toby, yuck!"

The spaniel sadly sat back down, but now and then he turned to the tailed girl. However, she was quickly picked up by a cab, after which the dog calmed down.

Are cats like that, too?

Get on the bus, and follow it to the shady street.

I got up and the dog jumped up, too. Dog tried to stand on me with his paws, but the owner tugged at the leash and grudgingly apologized.

Walk along the fence.

I was too lazy to think, it was my day off, so I gave myself to the trail. It seemed to be exactly what I needed because the descriptions immediately became more concrete and began to change more quickly. I had already habitually missed the moment when the chill from the back alley suddenly became icy, the white wall of the fence was replaced by an icy hummock. The snow crunched underfoot, the sky became a whitish haze, and the wind howled. It was freezing, man! Nothing under my pants, summer sneakers! System, have you thought this through?!

I wouldn't have found my destination without a clue. A minute or two later, the wind suddenly filled with snow, it got dark, and visibility dropped to ten, maybe fifteen meters. It was just like in the books...

I held the phone under my arm, with my head down and trying to shrink as much as possible. I pulled my hood as low as it would go. The heat instantly pulled out and something was left only inside. I could hardly feel my legs. The nastiest part was that I couldn't roll over without ordering it, either - they'd been like this for months, and I'd only been here five minutes! I had to get there. That's okay, I'll bear it.

Out of the darkness came the outline of the tent, covered with flying snow, and next to it, skis stuck in the snow and a snowdrift that had been a sled. Deciding that it would be too cruel to make the recipient look for the package, I dumped the box five paces from the entrance. A snowstorm immediately began to cover it with snow, and I crouched down and leaned back behind the sled, exposed to the wind. Well, what next? Throw something at the tent? Make a scary howl?

The trail was accurate, though.

Almost immediately a man came out of the tent, turned around, and said something to the others. I repeated to myself: "I'm going for a walk, I won't be back soon. He was not wearing boots or boots, and he was obviously not going far. I lurched five paces away and bent over, but the limping man didn't notice. He didn't seem to be feeling well at all. So bad, in fact, that he walked past the crate on the ground and moved on!

I jumped up, caught up with him without any kind of teleportation, turned him around by his shoulders, and then pushed him in the right direction. The polar explorer fell almost on the box, froze, and then gingerly fumbled for the object in front of him. And tried to look back!

Poke, poke, have a nice day!

With my icy fingers, I lifted the phone over the edge of the sled and began to film. There he was, incredulous, groping the box, awkwardly brushing the snow off it, tapping on the canister. Then he tries to lift it, but his legs fail him and he falls down. Finally, gaining strength, the man calls for help. Weakly, very weakly. The wind carried the words away, catching only "Captain... surprise..."

The same slow, haggard man looked out of the tent. He asked again.

I was filming this snail hustle without feeling my hands. If Delivery needs to get rid of me for something, all it takes is a quarter of an hour's delay in making a trail! Finally, all four of us gathered around the crate. The canister was unhooked, and with the sound of my teeth, I continued to film the polar explorers in a joyful half-whisper passing each other the glad tidings - full! They opened the box without taking it into the tent, just to protect it from the wind. Quiet cries of jubilation again, then tired ants dragged their loot into the tent.

The quiet man must have collected there both ointment for frostbitten feet and lemon juice for scurvy gums. Now they'll make it. They have to.

I put my phone down, sent the recording, and poked my icicle finger at the slider.

Order delivered.

Waiting...

Waiting...

Waiting...

Turn your back to the wind, and close your eyes. Walk fifty paces.

Whether the System understood my condition or not, the instructions were very specific. No expectations, I was constantly on the move. I even felt like the wind was pushing and holding me, but the cold made it impossible to think.

"You again! Look, I'm going to... uh, are you all right?"

I cautiously lowered myself onto the hot asphalt, lay on my side, and curled up in a ball. I was smart enough not to touch the hot asphalt with my blue hands, only I didn't have enough burns on my frostbite. But the heat that seeped under the cloak was enough for me.

"Dude? Are you okay? Should I call an ambulance?"

I shook my head. The heat was painfully penetrating my body, but it was warm!

"Let me help you, huh? Here, get up. Come on!"

The roadworker cursed on his own but managed to lift me. I climbed up on my own, though I didn't want to leave the warm - hot! - place. But after all, I was on the road, it was no good lying here.

I sat thawing at the edge of the road for about twenty minutes and then stood up. Surprisingly, there were no "how did you end up covered in snow in the middle of summer?" Only offered to help, to call a car or something. I wanted to thank them, but I could only think of something simple:

"You have great asphalt. Thank you. Have a nice day."

And without listening to what they told me, I left, using a combination of invisibility and teleport.

There was no more talk of going to Grandpa's house. I was too cold on the trail. On the other hand, isn't that why I came back so quickly, because I didn't have the strength to think? So you walk, looking around and disturbing the Delivery, and then you are back in minutes! All evil comes from thinking.

And they had been walking in this cold for weeks... and they didn't make it. Then they didn't. And now?

I sat down on the bench and pulled off my shoes and socks and wiggled my toes, surprised that I didn't hear a crunch. I'd been there for twenty minutes, too little for anything serious, but my toes still ached. Silent romantic... but smart one. It always seemed a shame that they couldn't. Only what about the story now? If they get saved, will there be two worlds? Or will there just be a Wiki article with their deaths and someone else with their celebration and afterlife?

More interesting is another thing: why did the System bring me there at this very moment? Why not a year earlier, what difference does it make how much pemmican and kerosene lie? Was it only a matter of what the customer had said? And why me - was there no one else at hand, or did the System know that the one leaving the tent would pass by?

And again - I was summoned as a demon... What's the meaning of this quest now? Or can any evil do good? I don't know.

Girl, hot sweet coffee. Two! No, three! Is the pastry warm? Warm it up! In fact - can I rent a bucket of hot water from you? For what, for my feet! No, I'm not laughing. I'm serious, honestly! Okay, I get it. Your service is not that good. Let's hurry up with the coffee, I'm freezing...

Why didn't I stay home today?!

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