The last class of the day was about to start when principal Taggart announced through the intercom that all seniors should gather to the gym in forty minutes for important information. Until then, classes would continue as normal, but it was optimistic of her to think that anyone could focus on the lesson when they were busy speculating what the information would be. The most hopeful ones were saying they’d go on a trip maybe on a cruise. Sarah was sure it wouldn’t be anything cool.

Their teacher let them out five minutes before the meeting would start. Sarah gathered her stuff and hurried across the school yard to the gym building where people were already crowding at the door.

Sarah noticed Castiel with Amanda and Leon a bit farther ahead. They were almost through the doors when Leon noticed her.

“Sarah. Will you join us?” he called over the heads of ten other students. Castiel turned to look at her too. He was holding Tim who was wearing his beanie and mittens. Sarah smiled at the thought Castiel had dressed Tim up for this brief time they were outside.

“If you guys don’t mind,” she replied. Amanda shook her head.

“Not at all, not at all. That’s why we asked.”

Castiel stayed silent but glanced at Sarah before they walked in.

The gym was packed full of students. There were no chairs, so people leaned against the walls or were sitting on the floor. Here and there were people with baby dolls. The room was full of chatter that died down quickly when the principal arrived with two other teachers. Sarah and the others quickly sat down, and she ended up sitting next to Castiel. She tried to slowly inch some distance between them after their fingers almost touched.

“Attention everyone!” principal Taggart called, and the room quieted down. “I apologise for the sudden call, but this was an urgent issue we need to discuss with you. As you all are surely aware, you’ll be leaving our school next spring and before that you’re going to apply to college or university. To help you with your decisions, there will be three day event in two weeks where different schools will come introduce themselves and one day will be dedicated to visiting the schools in this city so you can start to familiarize them if you’re still uncertain where you want to apply. This was just confirmed today, and we had to inform you so you can sign up for the school visits.”

Sarah’s stomach twisted. She knew she wanted to study after high school, but she didn’t know what or where. She had tried to push the thought away, hoping that not thinking about her future would mean it wouldn’t happen. Sadly, it looked like she’d have to face it anyway. It was great that they could see different schools and talk with their students, but Sarah had her doubts about how much it would help her with planning. She didn’t know what she wanted to become when she “grew up”. She wasn’t exceptionally good at anything and she only liked art, but wasn’t passionate about it, and after seeing how her mum had struggled before she established herself, Sarah didn’t know if she’d ever want to go through it herself.

The principal kept talking for another fifteen minutes, mainly about which schools would participate and how to sign up for the local college tours. Sarah tried to pay attention, but she quickly forgot which school was focused on which subjects and where they were from. But she decided she would go see the schools with art programmes. It could give her more ideas on what to do.

“Thank you for listening. We’ll inform you more at a later date. You’re free to go. Have a wonderful day.” The principal had barely finished her words when everyone was already heading at the door.

“Well that was pretty useless,” Castiel said and stood up. “But at least it saved us from Coy’s physics lesson.”

“True, it’s nicer to go home after this. I’m feeling less tired than usually,” Leon said.

“We’re still going for the walk, right?” Castiel looked at Sarah.

“I suppose. You did promise me chocolate.”

“I’m starting to think you do anything for chocolate.”

“You’re starting to know me better then.”

They walked outside where most students headed towards the school building to get their coats or head to their clubs. Leon and Sarah waited for Castiel and Amanda who went to put the dolls in the carriages. They had all taken their coats and bags with them, so they didn’t need to go back inside.

“You’re going for a walk again?” Leon asked.

“Yeah, Castiel is avoiding his parents and I was dragged into it somehow.”

“Ah, right. He asked if I had plans today but I’m going out with Amanda. I said he could come too but he refused.”

“Yeah, he said you’re going to the movies.”

“Yes. Amanda wants to see the new Downton Abbey movie.”

“I’ve heard it’s a good series. Haven’t watched it though.”

“Amanda is a huge fan. She made me watch them and I quite enjoy it. I recommend.”

“Maybe I’ll watch it one day. I have so many series to watch it might take a while.”

Leon was quiet for a few seconds and watched Castiel dressing Tim up to his doll coat.

“Castiel doesn’t get along with his mother. She loves Castiel and hates how much she must be away from him and tries to fix it by gushing over him when she’s home.”

“I can see how that could be annoying. It’s probably tiring after living alone for most of the time.”

“Yeah. So, I’m happy you agreed to keep him company. Castiel isn’t always good with sharing what he thinks but I can see he likes you.”

“W-what?” Sarah’s cheeks flushed red and Leon smiled.

“We’ve been friends for a long time, but it’s great to see he’s found other people he likes as well.” Ah, yes, liked her as a friend. Of course. It made sense. Sarah liked Castiel as a friend too. They probably weren’t friends yet, but she would be happy if they were one day.

“After Rachel he hasn’t…”

They were interrupted by Castiel and Amanda before Leon could finish his sentence.

“Why’s your face red?” Castiel asked and Sarah turned to look away.

“I don’t know. Must be the weather,” she muttered.

“What did you say to her?” Castiel turned his eyes to Leon who just smiled.

“Why do you think I caused that?”

“Because you were here with her. You’re the only suspect.”

“Hmm, who knows. Maybe it is the weather. It’s pretty chilly today.”

Castiel had a strong feeling that Leon had said something, and even stronger feeling that it had been about him. But Leon wouldn’t say what, so it was useless to push. And he doubted it was important. Sarah blushed easily sometimes.

They walked out of the school grounds and went on their separate ways. Leon and Amanda headed to her house to drop off their baby for Amanda’s mother to care so they could enjoy their date in peace. Castiel and Sarah walked to the opposite direction.

Sarah stayed a few steps behind Castiel because being close to him made her nervous. The feeling that had followed her since yesterday stayed persistently and Leon had made it worse by saying Castiel liked her. Of course, he had meant as a friend, but it had still caused a jolt of electricity tingle on the back of her neck. It was all because of what had happened at Castiel’s house. The closeness, the touch… She wanted to ask what it was so she could look at him again without feeling a nervous twist in her stomach or her heart skipping a beat.

“Let’s turn left from here?” Castiel asked when they walked to a crossroads.

“Sure,” Sarah muttered. She was barely listening.

“Oh, don’t sound so depressed. It’s good to get some fresh air,” Castiel grinned. Sarah didn’t know if he faked this good mood or if he really was happy. She hoped for the latter because why would he ask her to come if he had to pretend, he liked it?

“There’s a café nearby. We can have drinks there.”

Sarah nodded which Castiel couldn’t see. He turned to look at her.

“Are you alright? If you don’t want to be here, just go home.” He didn’t sound angry, but Sarah immediately felt guilty.

“It’s fine. Sorry. I don’t mind being here. Let’s go to the café. It’s fine.”

Castiel wasn’t convinced. Sarah avoided looking at him and focused on the pavement. She was clearly bothered, but he didn’t ask about it. Castiel didn’t want people prying on his business, so he generally avoided it too.

They arrived outside the small café that was situated at the corner of an old building. It had big windows and Sarah could easily see inside. Guitars and vinyl records decorated the walls and most tables were for two people.

“Do you mind if I take the drinks on the go? I don’t think that fits inside well,” Castiel said and nodded at the carriage. The café was close to full, and it would be difficult to fit the baby carriage inside. Sarah would also gladly avoid the extra attention coming in with the carriage would cause.

“Not at all,” she said.

“Tea for you, right?” Castiel checked and Sarah nodded. Castiel walked inside and when the door opened Sarah heard rock and smelled freshly ground coffee.

Sarah watched through the window how Castiel walked to the counter and greeted the barista. They exchanged a few words. The barista pointed at a poster on the wall and Castiel went to read it while he prepared the drinks. He took a picture it with his phone and returned to the counter to pick up the drinks.

Sarah backed a few steps when Castiel came out to move the carriage out of the way. He handed her a cup and a chocolate bar.

“Here you go. Tea and chocolate. I think we’re even now?”

“Thank you,” Sarah said and took the cup in one hand. She slipped the chocolate bar in her bag. “Should we go find a bench?” It’d be easier to enjoy the drinks when they could sit down.

“Sure.”

They didn’t need to look for long. They found a bench on a nice, peaceful grassy area down the street. There were few flowerbeds with wilted flowers on them, and a big tree sheltering the bench. Sarah brushed off fallen leaves from the bench and they sat down. The tea had cooled down while they walked, so it was drinkable when Sarah sipped it.

“What was in the poster you read?” Sarah asked.

“It was an announcement for a band contest. Hector thought I’d want to participate.”

“You’re in a band?”

“Yeah. With Leon. He sings and I play the guitar.”

“That’s so cool. I can’t play anything.” She sighed a bit. She would’ve loved to play an instrument, but she was basically tone deaf. “Are you gonna participate in it?”

“I need to ask what Leon thinks. But I’d like to try it out. I think it’d be good practice for the future.”

“Oh, do you want to be a musician?”

Castiel nodded. “Yeah. I’ve always liked music and I want to pursue it as a career.”

“That’s great. Are you planning on studying music too or?”

Sarah took out the small bar of chocolate from her bag and broke it to pieces. She took one and offered a piece to Castiel. He looked surprised but took it. Their fingers brushed against each other, and Sarah almost jumped from her seat.

“Thanks. And probably. I’m gonna apply at least and see what happens. I know I have a lot to learn and I want to improve.”

“You’d have to move for that right? They don’t teach music here.”

“Yeah but it’s not an issue. I don’t have anything to keep me here.”

“What about Ares?”

“I can take him with me.”

“You have things well planned out then.”

“Well, I’ve known what I want for a long time.”

Sarah was unhappy with herself. She should’ve had things better under control, but her plans were just as clear as they had been four months ago. Today’s meeting had woken her up to the harsh reality that she had little over two months to think what she wanted to do with her life. It was stressful.

“What about you?”

“Hm?”

“Do you know what you want to do?”

“Oh. No, not at all,” Sarah laughed joylessly. “I have absolutely no idea. I don’t have anything I feel passionate about and would want to work with more.” She sighed again and sipped her tea which was starting to get cold.

“Well, I’m sure you’ll figure it out.”

“I hope so. I’m starting to run out of time.”

Silence settled between them and Sarah stared at her reflection on the tea little tea left in the cup. Now that they weren’t talking, she started to get more nervous in Castiel’s presence. They sat close to each other but not close enough to touch. Sarah fidgeted and cast careful glances at Castiel. He was drinking his coffee and watching the passing cars. One car slowed down slightly as it drove past. Sarah took a deep breath. It’d probably be better to stay quiet, but she needed to know. She didn’t want to be constantly nervous around Castiel and she hoped this would help. The other option was that she’d feel even more awkward.

“Umm…” Sarah regretted opening her mouth immediately, but it was too late now. Castiel already turned his attention to her. “About yesterday…” Sarah’s eyes met Castiel’s for a brief moment before she looked away.

“What about it?”

“Well, yesterday, before your parents came…And you…close…and then…” Sarah couldn’t form coherent sentences but Castiel understood still. His cheeks turned several shades darker and he turned his head away.

“O-oh that… I… I was just joking.”

“Oh. Yeah of course.” She laughed a bit. She wasn’t any less nervous, but she was relieved that she had asked. She had gathered her courage and done something. It felt like a victory even though the answer didn’t make her happy. She didn’t understand well how she felt. Her throat felt tight but at the same time she felt relieved.

Castiel glimpsed at Sarah. His chest was heavy. He hadn’t expected the question and had said the first thing that came to mind. And he was fairly sure it had been just a joke. It had all happened quickly, and he hadn’t thought about it. After coming from the bathroom, he had seen Sarah looking at the pictures and got the idea to tease her a bit and startle her. But when Sarah had turned around and they were closer than he had expected, his heart had started beating all weird and he felt hot. Before he had realised, his hands were already on her hips. He hadn’t planned it, but it had happened. He didn’t know what would’ve happened if his mum didn’t arrive and it scared Castiel a bit. These feelings were confusing.

“Sarah…” Castiel started but was interrupted by ringing phone.

“Sorry,” Sarah said and dug the phone from her bag. When she saw the name on the screen, she smiled brightly. “Hi,” she answered the phone. Castiel turned his head to other direction. He didn’t want to eavesdrop, but the phone was loud enough for him to hear the other person.

“Hi, honey. How are you?” said a manly voice. Castiel glanced at Sarah.

“I’m good. I’m outside having a walk. How are you?”

“Good too. And even better now that I can talk with my sweetie.” Castiel strained his hearing to catch all the words.

“It’s nice to talk with you too. Why did you call?”

“Can’t I call to you just because I want to?”

“Of course, but I was wondering if there was a reason…”

“Haha, there actually is. I wanted to ask when you’re coming to see me? It’s been a while since the last time and I really miss you.”

“I have time whenever.” Sarah beamed when she talked. She hadn’t looked this happy once during the day. Castiel felt guilty about listening to the call but he couldn’t help himself. “How about this weekend?”

“It should work. But I need to go, sorry.”

“Alright. I can call to you later.”

“Great. I love you. Bye”

“Bye. I love you too.”

The smile on Sarah’s face didn’t fade even after putting the phone away. Castiel on the other hand was mildly irritated, although he didn’t know why.

“Who was it? Boyfriend?” he asked and was surprised by the sharp tone of his voice. Why did he even ask?

“No, no. It was dad.”

“Ah, okay. Sorry.” Irritation eased slightly. Why did he think about boyfriend first instead of her dad?

“No need to apologise for asking.”

“You seem to get along even though your parents are divorced?”

“Yeah. They don’t talk with each other unless it’s necessary, but dad’s actively in touch with me. He lives in another city, so it’s always bit of a hassle to meet up, but I try to see him at least once a month. But now there’s been bit of a break.”

“Does your sister come with you as well?”

“Not really.”

“Why not?”

“Well, he’s not her dad and she’s kind of the reason he and my mum broke up, so…”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. My mum and dad always had a stormy relationship. My mum is strong-willed and independent and dad’s stubborn but calmer, so they argued a lot and even about the trivial things like forgetting to take the trash out. One night they had a bigger fight than normally. Mum left to a bar to calm her thoughts and met some guy there and they hooked up. Dad found out of course but he was going to let it slide until he found out mum was expecting Steffie. He got super pissed and decided to leave. I guess he felt really betrayed. And I don’t blame him. I was angry at mum too, even though I was nine or ten and didn’t understand all that was going on, but I hated when they argued, and they did at all the time. So, their divorce was a relief. I think they’re both a lot happier now, and they can be in the same room without shouting at each other. But I feel bad for Steffie. She doesn’t know her real dad basically at all. He didn’t want to take responsibility then and now he’s married and doesn’t want to remember his past mess ups. So, she doesn’t really have a dad. My dad doesn’t hate her, but I can see he feels uncomfortable around her.” Sarah was silent for a moment. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to open up like that.”

“No problem. Sometimes it’s good to talk. Your family situation sounds pretty complicated.”

“Yeah, I guess. But it’s not that bad. Not anymore at least.” Sarah smiled a bit. She felt lighter, like talking had moved some weight from her. Weight she didn’t know had existed.

“Well that’s good. I’m sure things will get sorted out eventually.”

“Yeah. Thanks,” Sarah said and smiled. The smile was happy and warm and mirrored on Castiel’s face too. The air around them was calm and relaxed. And then Sarah’s phone rang again.

“Oh my god, what is it now,” she muttered. “Mum… Yes?” she picked up the call.

“Where are you?” Mum’s annoyed voice blasted through the speakers. Sarah moved the phone from her ear.

“On a walk.”

“You promised to help me with the comic today. I’ve been waiting for an hour.”

“I forgot! I’m sorry. I’ll come right away.”

“You’d better. I need the extra hand.”

Sarah sighed when she closed the phone. A long and tedious afternoon would await her.

“I’m sorry but I have to go. I promised to help mum with her work,” Sarah said to Castiel as she packed her stuff. She slipped another piece of chocolate in her mouth to give extra strength and threw the teacup to a nearby bin. “I hope you don’t have to suffer too much with your parents,” she added and grabbed the handle of the baby carriage.

“Bye.” Then Sarah jogged off, leaving Castiel to sit on the bench. He sighed. Being outside alone was boring, so he might as well go home. If he walked slowly enough, he could be home around the time he had planned to.

Sarah hurried towards her home, Tim rattling in his carriage. She felt better than in the morning. Talking casually with Castiel had helped with her nervousness and she was hopeful the feeling would stay. It would be nice if they could talk without sweatiness and tingling feeling in the stomach. But there was a small voice in her head that wasn’t happy. Castiel had been joking, making fun of her with his act. She felt slightly disappointed and didn’t like it. Most girls liked to get positive attention from a handsome guy, and Sarah did too. It was flattering and exciting. She hadn’t let herself imagine anything but hearing that it had all been a joke hurt a little.

Sarah arrived home and grabbed Tim from the carriage, rushing inside. She kicked her shoes off quickly and wiggled out of her coat while holding Tim.

“I’m home! Sorry that I forgot!” she yelled from the door. “I’ll go put Tim away and I’ll be right there!”

She walked past her mum’s office. Mum was sitting in front of her computer with a huge mug of coffee in hand. On another table Sarah’s workstation, a laptop, was waiting for her to come. In her room Sarah stuck the water bottle in Tim’s mouth to give him a drink and to keep him quiet for a while. Then she tucked the doll in bed and jogged to her mum’s office.

“I need you to start proofreading the pages,” mum said and sipped her coffee. “All hundred and fifty need to be ready to go tonight. I’ve already read the first twenty pages, so I’ll continue from that. You start from chapter six.”

“Okay. Sorry again that I was late. I completely forgot I promised to help you.”

“It’s fine. Let’s just finish this so we can have some pizza and ice cream.”

Sarah nodded and smiled. Pizza and ice cream would be worth all the reading and nit-picking they were about to go through.

Focusing on the comic took Sarah’s mind off Castiel and school and it wasn’t a bad job to do either. She had to keep reminding herself to focus on checking the text for possible issues because she got sucked in the story easily. Sarah was always amazed at how great her mum’s art looked. Even as a black and white comic, the pages had so many shades that it didn’t even need colour. She hoped she’d learn to draw like that too. It’d be an amazing talent to have even if she didn’t make a career out of it. Maybe she’d ask advice from mum for her school plans. She must’ve struggled with the same thing when she was young. But not now. If they started talking now, they’d never finish the job and there wouldn’t be ice cream. Sarah sighed and rubbed her eyes. Eighty pages to go.