Phone rings.

"Hello, yeah, can I help you?"

"When you speak to your elderly, you should be more polite!!!"

"But I am?"

"No, you are not, instead of asking a question you could just say hello..."

"But after I say that my second line still would be 'can I help you'."

"Everybody is more polite than you are. Because of that look where they are right now. Even though you are so smart, but look where your smartness could get you into. Look where is your logic put you into."

"But everybody else has a parent that doesn't complain about their child shortcomings. They continue to support their child. Even if my friends can't do it anymore, they still got their parents right next to them. But me? What do I get? A headache?"

"It's because you are not polite to us. And not seeking help from God. Look your friend who is not as smart as you. Look where they are right now! They all stand above you!"

"But still, is it my fault that I'm like this? Isn't it your fault to make me doubt the existence of God? You say you believe in God, huh? But is God teaching you to be rude to your own child? Is God not teaching you to care for your child? Even if you say that's your own form of care. Isn't it just child abuse with extra-step?"

"......"

"If you are comparing me with my friends, then I also can to compare you with my friends parents, who will ultimately win over you. If and only if I'm their child instead, I could be more successful than I am now."

Near my heart all I could say about this conversation was, why the parents called in the first place. If they call only to give me more headaches than before, no thanks. I know maybe they're care for me, but still their way is way miss the target. Because that's not how I flow.

Can't you give me affection in a more normal way? You know I always am dying to be with a parent that care for me genuinely. And in return i will care for them genuinely. But hey, the truth is always harsher than fiction right? There's no way a perfect mutual understanding exist. Maybe it can, but not with my parents and me. I always sacrifice my own self. My own character that made me 'myself'.

How much should I shave again? Should I just wear a mask of character that my parents like? Hell no. I would rather die than doing something insincere like that. I already accept my parents as they are, but still why don't they just accept me as who I am? It's not that hard if you think about it. It's not like they're trying to arrange a new song or find a new prime number. Come on i already accept my fate, it is already a healed wound. So why are they trying to open it again, by saying something so carelessly. Please appreciate me as who I am and not as what I am.

Animals learn by mimicking their parents. Babies learn by mimicking their environment. So logically it will be so much more easier to learn other by mimicking them. Thus, why don't you be my examples first? Oh, I forgot that you also didn't do any single thing that you suggested me to do. So if you are expecting me to change, how can I? When you want to change others, please don't forget you also have to change accordingly.

The parents always said to their kids something like please don't do that, that is a bad example. But instead of staying true to their words, what did they do. Of course they did that in front of me. (You say slapping people in the face are bad, so why do I get slapped by you of all people?)

So because of this, I, most of the times only learn from their mistakes. And always attaching a note to self to not be like them. They like to get angry for no reason, instead I can't get irritated my self. I can't even get angry for my own sake. They always can not forget about your wrongdoings, because of that deep in their heart they also don't forgive you and your wrongdoings. I, on the other hand, always forgive and forget yours. But why? Why are you always trying to make me remember everything I shouldn't even consider? Is my suffering your entertainment?

I give them my reasonable argument, and they give me a lecture from my own past mistakes instead. Even in my head and reality, I would never call them 'mother' or even 'father' ever again. Every time every other kids call their parent cheerfully like that, my heartache. There's a crack in my heart here and there that only they can fix. But when do you want to fix me? Do you want me to be like this until the day you were buried and I finally regret all my life choices? Please fix me before it's all to late...

* CRACK... *

Oh no, now it is too late.