Empty.

That's how the house felt. Maybe it was how I felt too. Rain beat against the windowpanes, blurring my view of the outside world from where I stood in my living room. Droplets of rain fell from my hair and dropped onto the tiled floor, already muddy and marked from my shoes. I realized belatedly I'd forgotten to take them off.

The windows reflected my white washed image but I could barely process it. All I could see was the image my mind kept replaying— of Henley, tears in her eyes, walking away from me. Straight into Lee.

I gasped, grabbing my chest as it clenched agonizingly. My body tensed, trying to fight the pain and waiting for it to pass. Spots blurred my vision and I staggered to the stairs, using the railing as support to pull myself up them and into my bathroom. Locating my strongest bottle of pain relievers, I dumped a couple into my hand, swallowing them down dry.

What was Lee doing here? How was he here? Why didn't anyone tell me he was coming? Had I done something wrong? Had he been brought here because of me? Was he going to take over the company? He couldn't. He couldn't.

"Ugh," I groaned, the lightning pain striking again.

Calm down, I warned myself.

Easier said than done. I gripped the top of my thighs, breathing deeply and releasing slowly. My mind wracked for an answer as to why Lee showed up at my house. I'd done everything my mother had requested. She'd made me a promise. Lee wasn't supposed to be here. Was there some rule I'd missed? I'd broken up with Henley, wasn't that enough for her?

Did she know Henley showed up at my house? Could she get into my new security system? But how was that my fault? I couldn't stop Henley from coming to my house. Would I have to set up a round the clock surveillance to make sure she didn't come again?

My nails dug deeper into my skin.

Zzzt. Zzzt.

I jerked at the sound, as if electrocuted. It was just the phone. The screen flashed MOTHER. So it was a warning.

"How are you doing?" she asked as soon as I answered the call. Her voice sounded normal— clear and brusque. If something were up, her tone wouldn't be this even. It threw me off guard.

"I..."

"Bennett, this was for your own good. You haven't met with her again, have you?"

Judging by her question, she didn't know Henley came. Then why had Lee shown up? Did she not know Lee was here? Another surge of panic ran through me. If she didn't know, she couldn't find out. If she knew Lee had come back... I swallowed hard, fighting to keep my voice steady. "What do you want?"

"Don't use that tone with me. I'm just calling to check up on you. Your doctor told me you seem to have an issue dealing with stress. I'm thinking it's time for you to get a new doctor. I know my child isn't that deficient."

The muscles in my hand quivered as I tightened the grip on the phone. "It's anxiety and that's not a deficiency."

She barked out a laugh. "Oh please, Bennett. What in the world could you be anxious over?

YOU! I wanted to shout. Lee. Henley. Me. My whole life.

"Try and compose yourself tonight. Tomorrow you need to be at my house by 5:00PM."

"Why?"

"I have invited Cecil and his daughter over to have dinner with us. You remember Cara, don't you Bennett? It seems she has taken a liking to you. Be presentable. I'll see you then."

Before I could get a word out of my mouth, she hung up on me. I brought back my arm to chuck my phone into something, anything, catching myself just before I let it go. Instead, I kicked at the sink, groaning between clenched teeth. My eyes caught my reflection in the mirror, bloodshot and hollow. I barely recognized myself. The urge to smash the mirror came over me and I screwed my eyes shut, making the desolate image disappear.

My mind was a tornado of thought. An image Henley crying. Lee smiling. A woman I barely remembered and could care less about. My mother's threatening words. It was about to burst. I couldn't take it.

Henry.

If anyone knew what was going on, it would be him. I hit his contact and pressed call, tapping a staccato on the sink. It went straight to voicemail. I called again, receiving the same response. Henry never missed my calls.

Changing tactics, I called Sebastian, only to hear a recording of his voice telling me to leave a message as well. I tried a couple more times before switching back to Henry.

Nothing.

I scrubbed a hand over my face. Something was going on. Something I was willingly being left out of. And it definitely had to do with Lee. I didn't need this. Not now. Nothing was going right for me. Why wasn't anyone here when I needed them the most?

Almost by autopilot, I scrolled to Henley's name in my contacts. If I just talked to her I could calm down and think about this more rationally. She just needed to come over and let me rest in her arms— but she couldn't. I couldn't see her again. I had to, for Lee. Everything was for Lee.

I didn't want to think anymore. Exiting the bathroom, I quickly changed my damp clothes for new ones, grabbed my keys, and headed out the door. The rain pelted from the sky as I dashed to my car, trying to stay as dry as possible. What a perfect setting for the night I was having.

The trip to McKellan's was normally a twenty-minute drive, but tonight I'd set a new record. It was unusually barren inside when I entered, but I was glad. The normal liveliness of the place wasn't something I wanted tonight.

"Well, well, well. Looky who we have here. Long time no see, stranger!" a jocular voice called out and I glanced toward the bar, seeing the owner Wilson waving to me.

"It's nice to see you again," I said, trying to sound more pleasant than I felt and offering him my hand.

"I thought you'd forgotten about me. How about a whisky sour on the house?"

"Just the whisky, please. Single malt. Your strongest one."

Nodding and without asking any questions, he went off to pour my drink. The first sip was harsh and burning and exactly what I wanted. Wilson's eyes burned with unasked questions, but he respectfully held them in. I knew his questions.

Where have you been since the accident?

Is your brother okay?

How could I come back to a place that held so many unpleasant memories? I don't know what drove me to come back tonight, but I was already starting to regret it. I'd just wanted to be somewhere that felt familiar. It didn't keep the flashbacks away. How I'd let Lee leave, alone and drunk. What if I'd never let him leave that night? Would things be different? Would we be sitting here like we always did on Saturday nights? Or would he have just found another way if I'd stopped him?

I knew Wilson had questions that mirrored mine. He'd probably want to know exactly what had happened. But even I didn't know that. My mother said he'd thrown himself in front of the car and I'd never gotten the chance to ask him why.

But he was here now. And I couldn't reach him. Or more precisely, no one was letting me reach him. Why?

My fingers curled around my glass, bringing it to my lips. I downed the rest of my glass, fighting the urge to cough that followed after. It didn't feel right to drink whisky like this. It was supposed to be savored. But right now, I just wanted to stop thinking.

I stopped thinking around my fourth glass and around the time the bar started to spin slightly. It took extra to keep myself properly seated on my stool. The whisky had lost its flavor a glass ago. Normally it would be my cue to put the alcohol down, but tonight it didn't hinder me.

"Wilson," I said, testing his name on my tongue.

"I thought maybe you'd forgot my name," he answered, sending me a wink. "You feeling alright? I might have to cut you off."

I slid my old fashioned closer to me protectively.

He chuckled. "Well, I suppose I have faith that you're aware of your limits."

"Why should I have limits?"

"Your soulful question has me thinking maybe you have indeed hit your limit."

"I wonder what it's like to be average," I said, waving my arm across the bar. "Only having to worry about running a pub. It must be effortless. Ah, not saying you're average. I just mean I'm not average. Above average. Very."

Wilson eyed me as he started to wipe down the insides of various glasses. "You came all this way after so long to brag?"

"I'm not bragging. I'm complaining. Aren't I allowed to complain? Am I allowed to do anything?"

"You're really showing your age tonight, Mr. Calloway. You used to act so much older than you actually are. It's refreshing, even if you're drunk."

"Of course I act older than I am. My mom has treated me like I was thirty my whole life," I muttered. "Instead of playing videogames I did financial reports." For some reason the thought made me laugh. The laugh choked into something more defeated.

Wilson quietly slid another drink to me.

By the time last call came around, I was sitting stalk straight on the stool, unmoving. Or maybe I was moving. I couldn't really tell. My entire face felt hot and I kept asking for ice to cool it down.

"Is there someone you want me to call?" Wilson asked me, his eyes full of concern.

"No one would answer anyway," I said bitterly, grasping at the bar top as gravity suddenly shifted to the right. "Woah."

Something began to shake in my pocket and I froze, completely bewildered until I remembered cell phones existed. I dragged it out and saw it was Henry calling.

"You're fired," I slurred into the phone before hanging up.

I immediately dialed him back. "I'm sorry."

"Mr. Calloway...?" he asked hesitantly.

"You're, uh." What was Henry doing? I was upset with him, wasn't I? "You're with Henley. No you're with Lee. You're with Lee," I repeated and the trepidation I'd been trying to forget crashed into me. Then the image of Henley crying. The image of Lee, standing in the rain, holding a red umbrella. Henley. Lee. I had to choose.

I'd chosen Lee.

Before I knew it I was gasping on the ground, the phone falling out of my hand. I couldn't find the strength to get up. The world was spinning and suddenly I felt nauseous. Closing my eyes, I rest my head against the foot of the stools. "I'm sorry, Henley. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

Wilson forced me off the ground, leading me over to one of the booths. "Wait here. I called someone to pick you up."

"Not my mother," I said, my blood going cold with dread.

"No, Bennett. I didn't call your mother."

My muscles relaxed slightly. I was afraid if I tried to relax completely my body would slide back onto the floor. It vaguely registered that I was being embarrassing, but I didn't know how to stop. Like everything else in my life.

How to stop my mom from controlling me. How to stop Lee from throwing his life away. How to stop Henley from leaving me.

I wasn't aware I'd fallen asleep, but I jolted awake when I felt a small pair of hands shaking my shoulder. "Bennett? Wake up. I'm going to take you home."

It took a lot of effort to open my eyes and I stared in disbelief at a blurred image of Henley. She waved her hand in front of my face and I lifted mine to grab it, trying to feel if she was real. Upon feeling her soft skin, I tightened my grip. Real or not real, she was here. I'd chosen Lee, but Henley was still here. "Don't leave," I said quickly, blinking to try and wipe the fuzziness away.

"We have to, the pub is closing," she said, looking anywhere but my face.

With my free hand I cupped her cheek, forcing her to look at me. Pink blossomed on her skin and she fought to free her head, but I didn't let her go. I stared, and stared, and stared. And I couldn't get enough. Had it really only been hours since our fight earlier? I thought I'd never see her again. But here she was. I didn't want to stop looking, in case she left again. She held my gaze steadily, her eyebrows creasing.

"Bennett..."

My stomach coiled. Then I abruptly threw up, causing her to shriek and jump back. I threw my hands up to my mouth, unable to stop myself from vomiting again. I slid off the bar stool, stumbling into Henley, who gagged and tried to push me away. The room swayed violently and I tilted to the side, reaching out and steadying myself with her shoulders.

"Bathroom," I croaked.

"Here's some mouthwash," Wilson said, handing it to me. "People always call me crazy for keeping it on hand, but as you can see, it's useful."

"I'm sorry about him Wilson," Henley said as she guided me to the bathrooms.

"It's okay. It happens. Just take him home safe."

Henley pushed me toward the men's room and disappeared into the women's room. I held onto the doors and then the walls, making it over to the sink. Groaning in disgust, I did the best to clean as much of the vomit off of myself as I could and rinsed my mouth out a few times.

"We're taking your car home," she muttered, her nose upturned in disgust as I came out of the bathroom.

That statement didn't settle well with me and I tried to fight her off as she dragged me to my BMW. When she tried to force me into the back seat, I put my hands on the roof, pushing back. "No!"

"You're not throwing up in my car! You did this to yourself. Deal with the consequences."

"No," I groaned, giving up and falling onto the seat as she started using her shoulders to try and push me in. Immediately her hands were on me and I squirmed and tried to slap them off.

"I need your keys, stop moving. You're getting puke everywhere! I thought you cleaned yourself up?"

My body went rigid when I remembered we were in my car. Henley carefully plucked my keys out of the front pocket of my jeans, making a grin creep across my face. This didn't go unnoticed and she rolled her eyes at me before shutting the door. It dawned on me that she took my keys to drive my car and I scrambled to get out, only to find the child lock in place.

"I've always wondered what it'd be like to drive this... too bad it smells like puke now," she said as she got into the driver's seat.

"Don't crash it."

"I won't. Just relax."

Fortunately I didn't worry about her driving because I was too busy trying not to vomit. My BMW is a smooth ride, but the turns were doing horrible things to my stomach. The moment Henley opened the door for me when we arrived at my house I threw up one last time.

"Just how much did you drink?"

"Enough," I said, my voice low.

"Okay, well, you're here. Henry will be here in a minute to pick me up. I hope you can find your way in."

My hand shot out to catch her arm before she could walk away. "I can't remember the pass code. Help me."

She frowned. "You expect me to know it? I'm sure you changed it the minute I left. You know, because your mom thinks I steal your things."

"You did steal something."

Her mouth dropped open, the color draining from her face. "You really think—"

"This," I said, pointing to my heart.

A beat passed between us and she turned her head, letting her hair fall into her face. "Let's go."

I barely managed to keep up with her, a tight feeling forming in my throat. Was this really it between us? Could I really let it end like this? I knew I hurt her and yet I selfishly wanted her to stay with me. I knew I could never choose her, but I wanted her to fight for me. She was right— I was a coward. I didn't deserve someone like her.

Henley hit the passcode into the lock and opened the door, allowing me to use her as a pillar as I stepped over the threshold. A wave of vertigo came over me and I staggered to the railing over looking my living room, grasping it tightly. I half expected Henley to be gone when I turned around, but she was there waiting, biting her bottom lip.

"Can you help me to my bathroom," I asked, finally starting the smell the noxious odor coming from my soiled shirt. "Please."

"Fine, then I'll leave," she said, offering her arm out to me.

A heat flash came over me and I started pulling at my tie, trying to get out of my shirt. By the time we made it to the bathroom, I'd made no progress at getting it off of me. With puppy dog eyes, I turned to Henley, holding up my tie helplessly.

"I'm only doing this because you have puke all over yourself. Stand in your shower so you don't get puke everywhere."

I obeyed and slid open the glass door to the shower, moving to the corner so she could climb in after me. She swallowed visibly and reached for my tie, carefully undoing the knot, and tossing it to the floor. My pulse raced, beating loudly in my ears as her hand brushed against my neck. I grabbed her hand, bringing it to the buttons of my shirt in a silent question.

She let out a soft breath, undoing the highest button on my shirt. Her movements were slow and steady, moving down the line with ease. I tried to control my breathing, aware that my bare chest heaving would give myself away. My eyes stayed glued to her face, but she refused to look at me. When all the buttons were undone, I struggle to pull my arms out, finding difficulty in even that. My motor skills weren't usually this shot when I drank. Tomorrow would be difficult.

For the first time, Henley looked up, and I could see she was trying to fight a smile. I could also see how flushed her cheeks were. Was she feeling what I was feeling? She moved closer to me, gently easing my arm out of each sleeve of my button up. Now my chest was completely bare and she was only inches away from me. Our eyes met and my nerves prickled, distracting thoughts shooting through my mind.

Subconsciously, I moved forward, backing her into the opposite corner of the shower. Her tongue darted out between her lips. I felt a shiver run through me and it wasn't due to the cold. The overwhelming urge to touch her was hard to resist and I lurched forward, losing my footing as I attempted to lean in.

Both of us fell into the side of the shower and Henley cried out in pain, the cry turning to one in shock as cold water fell over both of us. I quickly reached up to turn it off, but overestimated the ability of my muscles, my body to heavy for my drunken self to hold up. The water changed from freezing to scalding, but I didn't even notice, too distracted by the young woman under me.

Her eyes were closed and she gripped my forearms, holding them tightly. A heady fuzz filled my mind and all I could focus on was her perfect cupid's bow, the way her wet shirt clung to her skin, the water that pooled in the hollow of her collarbone.