amelia's POV

i had disposed of the pills yesterday and madison would never be able to get them. i took them to the hospital and gave them to a nurse to deal with, so i guess i didn't really do much with them but they couldn't be in the house otherwise i would be tempted. i knew it wouldn't be a problem, i just told them that i found the bag in an empty patient room and i wasn't sure what to do with them. they seemed pretty happy to sort it out.

i am supposed to be going back to the hospital today, but i'm not sure if i will end up going or whether i should. if madison has given me all of her drugs and not taken anything, then she has been sober for around 30 hours. i know her withdrawal symptoms should start to get pretty bad and i can't leave her here alone. i decide to go in and check on her.

madison's POV

i had been awake for hours feeling awful. i am freezing cold and i have 2 blankets and a duvet on and i am still shivering. i don't want to go and wake up amelia because she needs to sleep as she is going to the hospital and i can't have her worrying about me while she is there. i curl up into a ball and try to stay warm. i close my eyes hoping i can fall asleep again.

the next thing i know, i feel a tapping on my shoulder.

"morning madison, did you sleep well?" amelia asks me

"yeah um i'm okay." i try to sit up but i can't find the energy to do so therefore i stay as still as possible so she doesn't notice i am shivering. she seems to just accept it but she climbs into bed behind me.

"come here" i turn over and crawl into her arms with my head on her chest.

"i know you're not okay" amelia says quietly. "i can feel you shivering and you're quite warm. i think we should take your temperature."

"i'm freezing" i whisper, "but okay." amelia wiggles out and grabs some medicine and the thermometer from downstairs. she helps me sit up and takes my temperature.

"39°C, it's quite high. here, take these meds." i am hesitant to take the pills at first because they look exactly like the ecstasy pills. "hey, its okay, i'll go get the liquid form" amelia really is the best person in the world. she somehow understands everything. she didn't even need to ask me what was wrong she just immediately knew.

i take the medicine and amelia tries to climb back into bed with me.

"no you're not coming in, i'm not getting you ill too. you need to go to the hospital." i complain

"madison, hush. i don't care if you get me ill, and i'm not leaving. you are ill and i need to look after you."

"you're not my mum, you don't need to look after me. i can survive by myself." i realise as soon as i say it that it was the totally wrong thing to say. amelia looks so upset.

amelia's POV

i stand at the side of the bed for a minute until i decide to go downstairs.

"i'll be downstairs if you need me." i walk off before madison can say anything else. i know i am not her mum, but it kind of feels like it now and i love it. i really don't want things to change. a tear rolls down my cheek before i realise how stupid i am being. madison can say what she wants, i still have to look after her. that is what she needs right now and i have to do it for her. i head back upstairs and lay down next to madison. she instantly crawls up to me again and gives me a hug. i can tell she knows her comment hurt me.

"i'm sorry, i didn't mean it." madison says.

"it's okay. i know i am not your mother but i still want to look after you if that is okay?"

"of course that is okay. i really appreciate you letting me stay here." i pull her into a tighter hug. we lay there until madison runs out of bed and into the bathroom. here comes the vomiting. i hear her throwing up into the toilet and sit next to her, holding her hair out of her face. i know how horrible it is dealing with withdrawal symptoms and i want to do everything i can to help her.

madison lays back against the wall and i slide down next to her. for the next hour she continues to throw up every now and then and we don't leave the bathroom for a while.

"this is horrible. i feel awful, i'm throwing up every 5 minutes. i have a throbbing headache and i'm so tired. can this get any worse?" tears begin rolling down her cheeks.

"it is gross and awful, but it is just your body getting used to not being on drugs. fortunately, this is about the peak of it because you have been sober for over 24 hours. hopefully tomorrow will be a little better."

"i hope so because i really can-" she throws up again. "i cannot continue like this."

madison's POV

amelia had eaten lunch and i still don't want to eat anything. i'm worried that if i eat anything anything, i will just throw up again. all i want to do is crawl into bed but i know i will have to get out again because i will vomit at some point. amelia also said that being too warm won't help make me feel any better in the long run. i lay on the bathroom floor with my head on my jumper and hope that things will be better tomorrow.

i head to bed at about 10:30pm and i try to fall asleep. i am freezing but i already have 3 blankets on and i don't know where any others are. no position will let me fall asleep and i begin to start crying. i want drugs so badly, but i know i have to stay sober. for amelia, and for me i guess. i want to be sober but i also just wish life was how it used to be when i was high. everything seemed so simple and now everything is so complicated. i hate it.

eventually i fall asleep, but only for about an hour. i wake up and immediately run to the bathroom and throw up again. i want to go and get amelia but i know she needs to sleep and i can just tell her in the morning. i head back to bed and try to fall asleep again.