《D for Depression》Chapter 27: Heaven
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Warmness.
That's the first thing I notice when I wake up in the morning. I'm wrapped around a warm blanket, so sweet and cuddly it makes me wanna stay there forever.
The sent radiating from it is soft, but firm, surrounding me like a cocoon of comfort and safety. Its smells like heaven.
It smells like...Jackson.
The assumption hits me almost like an electric shock and I jump up, finding indeed Jackson's hands around me, his naked chest in full display.
My mind goes blank for a moment, watching his sleeping figure taking small breathes and I find myself brushing off a loose strand of hair out of his face.
Is this a dream?
My eyes focus on his parted lips, the veins on his hands permanent as he keeps a tight hold on me.
It definitely looks like one.
Letting my fingers crawl towards his upper arm, I feel the smooth skin underneath, licking my lips in the process. I probably look like a psychopath, drooling over him right now, but I can't help myself. He is my dream.
A light sound comes off his lips and I watch him move in his sleep. His arms wrap around my body tighter than before and I feel him bringing me closer, until his face rests in the crook of my neck.
I sense him taking a breath, following by a deep humming, the sound sending tingles to my skin.
''Sleep babe.''
My body instantly freezes. He knows I'm awake. Holly shit.
Watching him sleep was easy, harmless in a way, but now how am I going to come face to face with him?
My anxiety kicks in and I feel my heart race. Jesus, don't panic now.
As if he read my mind, he raises his head looking into my eyes. ''It's okay.'' He whispers. ''I'm here.''
That's the problem.
Smiling, he brushes his fingers on my cheek, gently touching my chin in the process.
''If I knew I would bring you so much anxiety just by sleeping beside you, I would have slept on the couch.''
The words get stuck in my throat and I feel my face heat up.
Great. I'm laying beside one of the sexiest men on the planet and I blush like a fucking tomato. Very smooth Daphne.
''Although'' He continues ''I'm pretty sure you would've followed me there too.''
His words bring a question mark on my face and for a minute I forget the situation we are in. ''What do you mean?''
Giving me something between a smirk and a mocking smile, he licks his lips focusing on my face.
''You were really persistent about us staying together, or to be more precisely, you following wherever I go.''
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The shock on my face is evident by the way he laughs at me and I stare at him dumbfounded.
''I-I...''
He chuckles again, standing up from the bed. ''Don't worry about it.''
I follow his movements, watching him check his phone, chest bare in front of me, just a pair of loose black pants underneath.
My eyes travel on his torso and I feel my breathing stop. There is a series of burn marks and deap cuts, most of them healed but not in the right way. From the color and their shape, I can tell they're pretty old. But that doesn't mean they seem less hurtful.
Who did that to him?
He senses me staring and he quickly throws a black t-shirt on.
Great. I made him uncomfortable.
My eyes leave his figure and I look at my hands instead.
''I'm going to make us some breakfast. You can use the bathroom if you want. I have a spare toothbrush and stuff.''
I nod, ready to stand up, until I realize I'm wearing only my panties and his t-shirt.
Sitting abruptly on the bed, I clutch the covers to my chest.
Why am I naked?
He watches me amused, while he walks towards his closet taking another tee.
''You can change to that. If you are willing to finally give up on my shirt.''
My face frowns in confusion, but turns in embarrassment as long as he says, ''I mean you practically ripped this off my body, to make it yours.''
I stare at him dumfounded, eyes popping up like plates.
He laughs again at my reaction, moving towards the door. ''Just come out when you are ready.''
Shutting it behind him, I exhale deeply looking for a way out of this.
Only the door opens again, revealing Jackson's tall figure. ''Don't try to hide because I'm going to come and get you myself. And you are not going to like it baby.''
My eyes stay locked on his spot, just one thought on my mind.
What the hell happened last night?
Stepping inside the bathroom, I take a look around me, eyes landing on the mirror opposite the wall.
The girl stares back at me, tall and skinny and I almost can't recognize her.
It's been so long since I last saw my reflection like that.
For the first time in a while, I see myself looking healthy. There are no bags under my eyes from the lack of sleep, no cracking spots on my face. My skin actually looks nice. Clean and fresh. My lips have a little color from the lipstick I wore yesterday and my eyebrows for once, decided to follow my wishes and frame my face delicately.
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I can't believe I'm saying this, but I look kinda...pretty?
Checking the cabinets, I find a new toothbrush and while I brush my teeth, I let my eyes roam in the rest of the room. There is a nice marble shower, that I found too tempting, especially now, after waking up with a hangover.
Surprisingly, my head doesn't hurt, but I do feel dirty, so after contemplating for a bit, I decide to take a shower thinking that Jackson wouldn't mind.
A deep hum comes off my lips as soon as, I feel the water dripping down my body and my eyes close automatically.
Looking beside me, I find a bottle of shower gel, Jackson's sent hitting my nostrils instantly.
This is what heaven must smell like.
The idea of having his natural sent on my skin, brings a stupid smile on my face and I want to face palm myself.
You're falling too hard Daphne and the crush will be deathly.
Washing myself quickly, I step out wrapping a clean towel around my body.
There is only one problem. I don't have any underwear. The one I was wearing is laying on the floor and there is nothing I hate more than reusing dirty underwear.
Fidgeting on my spot anxiously, I leave the bathroom, putting on Jackson's shirt.
Feeling bold, I walk towards his drawers looking for a clean pair of boxers. I stumble upon an impressive collection of Calvin's and I take my time to imagine them on his body.
Focus Daphne.
I quickly slip one on, before I give myself a last glance on the mirror.
You can do it. It's just Jackson.
I feel my subconscious mocking my attempt to act cool and I immediately know I'm screwed up.
I've only been here once, but the smell of coffee is enough to lead me in the small comfortable place of his kitchen.
I stand in the doorway, watching him humming, while making breakfast and I bite my lip to suppress the smile on my face.
He looks so enchanting, wearing such a simple outfit, moving to the sound of music.
Jazz.
That's his style?
I can imagine him playing on a pub in New Orleans, driving an old Mustang.
He is a fuckin dream.
My Joker.
''That's the part where I'm telling you to take a picture cause it lasts longer. But, I enjoy knowing you are checking me out, so I'm gonna let it pass.''
My jaw drops listening to his words. Breathe Daphne.
He chuckles, looking at me over his shoulder. ''Come on, I don't bite.''
What if I want you too?
Shaking my head, to get rid off the dirty thoughts, I move towards the counter, sitting on a stool.
''There is coffee and orange juice.''
I nod, even if he doesn't see it. Pouring a glass of juice, I take a glimpse of the pan he is using. ''Do you need any help?'' I ask hesitant.
''No, I'm almost done. You like pancakes, right?''
Nodding again, I watch him serve some on our plates, before putting them in front of me.
''There is syrup and fruits. I didn't know which one you like.''
I take a look on the variety of dishes across the table. Strawberries, blueberries and other red fruits. Honey, nuts, syrup and chocolate.
''You didn't need to make all this.''
''Do you prefer something else?''
''No, no. It's just...too much. I usually don't eat in the morning.''
He gives me an attentive glance, before he takes a sip from his coffee.
''Eat babe.''
His words sound more like a command to me and I find myself obligate quietly. Taking a few bites, I let the fluffy texture bless my tastebuds, loving the feeling of the melted chocolate.
A shallow humming comes off my throat and I feel Jackson's eyes penetrating mine the whole time.
''Good?'' He asks, licking his lips.
''Mmm...''
The minutes pass in silence, nothing but the occasional clicking of our forks. My stomach feels heavy, since I'm not used to eat like this in the morning and I place my hands around it.
''I'm full.''
''You are full?'' Jackson asks with a raising eyebrow. '' You barely ate three pancakes.''
''I told you I can't eat much.''
''Okay'' He whispers, moving his fingers to my face, before brushing the corners of my lips with his thumb.
I see drops of chocolate there and just when I thought he was going to bring it to his mouth, he tugs my lips, signaling them to open.
I suck in a breath looking directly into his eyes, before taking his thumb inside my mouth, swirling my tongue around it.
He stares at me carefully, watching my mouth moving around his finger. His eyes focusing on my lips, slowly move towards my face, taking in my features. I see him studing me, the look on his eyes too hot for me to handle and I sense myself flushing red.
It feels almost as if he can see me. All of me. My body, my thoughts, my feelings...and I can't help but tremble under his gaze.
Letting his finger go, I stare back at him, opening my mouth in an attempt to speak.
"Jackson..."
"Daddy." He whispers.
My jaw hungs open at the sound of his words and he chuckles darkly.
"That's what you called me. Remeber?... Daddy."
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