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The amount of times I thought my whole existence was a walking cliché for the last few months, are probably more than I could count in my own hand.

It's absurd really if you think about it.

How fast time passes by. How everything can turn upside down in an instant.

One day you decide to go against your rules and watch that stupid movie everyone is talking about and the next one, you have fallen for a drug dealer who is driving you piece by piece to the verge of insanity.

Or at least that's how I felt watching him pressing his palms against the front of the car I was currently in. Dark hair, clenched jaw, little hoop earrings and ringed fingers, all in full display to demonstrate his anger.

Jackson fucking Wald.

You will be the death of me.

''Out I said.'' He commands in a tone harsh enough to bring shivers down my spine.

My lips part slightly to let me inhale a necessary breath in order to not pass out, while his eyes penetrate me through the glass.

''Daphne..'' Bob whispers beside me.

I can hear the distress in his voice, but when I turn to look at him his eyes are glued to the person ahead of us. Him and Jackson have never come face to face, although I've no doubt that he already knows who he is.

I mean the way he is glaring at us right now kinda gives it away.

Sensing Jackson's anger radiating through the windshield I shallow the nausea in my stomach and unbuckle my belt catching Bob's eyes.

''Don't..'' He starts obviously frightened, but I'm quick to shush him.

''It's okay.'' I say, giving him somewhat of a reassuring smile. ''Don't worry about it.''

Jackson watches the small interaction with narrowed eyes and doesn't change his position until he sees me grabbing the door handle, but Rob is fast to stop me locking the doors.

''No Daph.'' He mumbles, shaking his head.

The worry in his tone is evidence of the crazy situation we are in and honestly..how can I blame him? From his point of view, his friend is getting kidnapped by a stranger.

From my point of view...Well that's a discussion for another time.

''Bob, you need to open the door.'' I say calmly watching Jackson pacing in front of the car like an enraged bull inside an open arena.

''No. I'm not letting you go with him. Are you nuts? We are leaving.'' He answers more firmly this time starting the engine.

At the sound of the roaring car, Jackson snaps his gaze forward finding my own and I feel like someone just punched me in the heart. His eyes, the familiar warm chocolate color I grew to love, look at me almost in despair, as if he's going to combust any moment and I can't help the painful throb in the middle of my chest.

He is here.

And suddenly the exact thing I was afraid of is happening again.

The Jackson effect. He is invading my thoughts, my senses, every single part of my body. My brain screams at me to surrender. Touch him, caress his beautiful face and feel his dark locks between my fingers. Forget.

But I can't. Not this time.

Not so easy.

''And go where? He is blocking the way Rob.'' I say exhausted.

''I don't give a damn. I'm gonna run over him and his fuckin car. Asshole. Who does he think he is.''

Rob's anger startles me mostly because I've never seen him express any other feeling besides optimism, happiness and occasionally annoyance. Although, this is an occasion neither of us have been before so I guess any reaction is pretty much understandable.

The loud banging on my door breaks our short conversation and I turn to look at Jackson's impatient visage gawking at me.

''Don't make me break the window and drug you outside by force.''

His husky voice cuts through the glass like ice and I stare at him dumbfounded.

''What the fuck did he just say?'' Rob interrupts and I find myself nauseous from all the back and forth between the three of us. I'm pretty sure if I hadn't smoked that joint with Suki back there I would be having a panic attack by now, but I'm too far out of it for that.

Thank god.

''Bob just open the door, I can handle it.''

''You think so? What if he hurts you? Huh?'' He says staring at Jackson, his words probably clear enough for him to hear too.

I glance at him momentarily, the look on his face betraying that he indeed heard what we were just talking about and my heart almost breaks when I see the hurt over his features.

Stepping backwards as if Rob's words injured him, he stops by my door and keeps his gaze on me, waiting. I can see how he is trying to calm himself down but the stiffness of his posture says it all.

He is angry and hurt.

Good. That makes two of us.

''He is not going to hurt me.'' But I can't promise the same for you too, that's why I need you to let me go, Bob. Please.

Reading the silent plea in my eyes, Rob exhales deeply before he moves reluctantly to unlock the doors.

Jackson perks up hearing the sound, but stays put after catching the warning glare on my face. I just know that he wants to throw me over his shoulder and act like a complete savage but watching how he controls his movements for me, to not set me off, I feel a pleasing shudder of control over him.

And boy does it feel good.

''I'll call you.'' I say to Rob giving him a small smile.

''You better do. I'm not joking D. Leave your phone open no matter what. Otherwise I'll burn down his place. I know where he leaves. Tell me if he takes you there.''

''Okay Superman. I will.'' My body moves over the middle console and I give Rob a warm hug.

''Thank you.'' I whisper to his ear, kissing his cheek lightly, before I turn to open the door, only to find it already open, Jackson holding the handle for me.

I get out passing by him and after completely ignoring him, I get inside his car, buckling myself up.

He looks at me clearly annoyed, before he shuts the door in Bob's car with a loud thud and follows my lead, giving my friend a last angry glance.

Sitting beside me, he stares at me for a second, until he realises I'm not going to do him the favor and starts the car in silence.

I sent Bob a last smile, feeling the car spin around and soon, it's just the two of us and the endless road ahead.

Me and him, in a car, alone for almost an hour.

Fucking great.

The first thirteen minutes passed by in complete silence. Jackson took some side glances every now and then, checking on me as if I was some child throwing a tantrum and he was waiting for me to get over it.

When he finally accepted the fact that I wasn't going to speak any time soon, he let out a long exhale of pure frustration and opened the radio.

The first song that came up was a heavy metal one which brought an instant headache to my already banging head. Closing my eyes I rubbed on my temples smoothing the ache there, but Jackson had already changed it after sensing my discomfort.

Ariana Grande's ''Thank you next'' followed up but before she even had the chance to sing the first chorus, Jackson was changing it again lowly cursing about the ''stupid'' lyrics.

The sequence immediately brought a memory to my mind. One Jackson and I shared weeks ago when we were still on speaking terms. That night I could barely sleep feeling too anxious and all over the place.

It happened frequently to me so I wasn't really surprised. My anxiety would just show up sometimes unexpectedly when I would do random things, like laying in bed, showering or just watching a movie. It was always there, in the corner of my eye. And all I could do was pray to not have it ruin the rest of my week when it decided to strike.

Over the time I found a lot of different ways to deal with it. Never actually getting rid of the problem, just making my life a little bit easier. But neither of them could help that night. So after tossing around with cold feet and trembling hands, I called him.

I didn't explain the reason. He just knew. It was as if he always knew how I felt.

And he distracted me in the best way possible.

We spent almost three hours talking about every random thing you can think of. Favorite restaurants, movies, books and finally music. I already knew he was a fan of Jazz which made both of us, and 70's rock, while I am a multi listener enjoying music from every part of the world and feeling connected with different cultures. It was then that I explained to him how much time I spend reading lyrics, taking the points in them like little pebbles which I use in my mind in order to understand my own emotions and project them in my life.

Which makes it completely hilarious to think that we stumbled over Thank you next and Jackson almost shit himself trying to change the song.

A chuckle escaped my lips but the sound of the next song covered it out. ''Somebody that I used to know" entered the radio and my eyes found the window again in order to contain my laughter.

Jackson changed it again, almost breaking the echo system when ''You've lost that lovin feeling'' by Righteous Brothers went on. By the time Taylor Swift started to play he shut it down before either of us could even catch a single note of the song.

After a couple of minutes I saw him opening his spotify list, but quickly looked the other way when he realised I was staring at him.

And then I heard it.

"I'm going back to 505

If it's a seven hour flight or a forty-five minute drive

In my imagination, you're waitin' lyin' on your side

With your hands between your thighs"

Jackson fucking Wald. You play dirty. Putting on my favorite song of my favorite group to soften me. Do you think I am that easy?

"Stop and wait a sec

When you look at me like that, my darlin', what did you expect?

I'd probably still adore you with your hands around my neck

Or I did last time I checked"

My shoulders tense while the song goes on and I feel my lips tremble in frustration and hurt. I feel the lump in my throat becoming unbearable and I dig my nails in the skin of my palms.

Jackson keeps looking between me and the road like he expects me to break down. It almost feels as if he wants to and at that moment I hate him. I really do.

I'm high, exhausted, emotional and completely over the hills for you asshole.

And you know it. Because you are too.

"But I crumble completely when you cry

It seems like once again you've had to greet me with goodbye

I'm always just about to go and spoil a surprise

Take my hands off of your eyes too soon"

My hand finds the pause button and I press it, skipping a handful of songs all along my favorites.

Golden

She

Video Games

R U Mine

I wanna be yours

Adore you

Pillowtalk

I like me better

Something

My baby just cares for me

The list goes on until I realise. These are not just some of my favorites, but they are meant for me. Six letters in capital right at the top betraying it.

My fingers still for a second, the rapid beat of my heart making me swallow hard before I close the playlist pretending I didn't just have a heart attack over this and sit back on my seat.

He is doing it to get you. He knows he fucked up and is looking for an easy way out. Do not fall for it.

He hasn't even apologised yet.

I sense him moving again pressing another button and I almost still when ''Spring day'' by BTS echoes inside the car.

''You don't even like K-pop.'' I say in a low tone, almost accusing.

He snaps his gaze towards me immediately in surprise and a small smile takes over his face. One I don't reciprocate.

''I do now.'' He answers positively. The relief in his expression, evident.

''Well in that case.'' I mumble harshly before changing it.

The rhythmic drum sound shakes the interior of the car, while ''Kill this love'' plays in full volume.

When the chorus comes in Jackson sends me a glare and tries to change it again, but I don't let him. My hand catches his wrist, a tingle sensation taking over my body which I shake off. ''I wanna hear it.'' I say firmly.

His eyes find mine and for a second we stare at each other like a challenge to see who is going to back away.

"Feeling like a sinner it's so fire with him I go boo-hoo

He said you look crazy thank you baby I owe it all to you

Got me me all messed up his love is my favorite

But you plus me sadly can be dangerous"

Eventually Jackson pulls away, exhaling deeply before he rests his arm by the window, eyes locking on the road again.

A small smile crips on my face and I hum satisfied while the song builds up.

''We all commit to love

That makes you cry,

We're all making love

That kills you inside, yeah''

His side glance finds me again, but I pretend to not notice, my fingers rhythmically tapping on my thighs.

''Daphne.''

The low, rough tone of his voice appears again. Dark and deathly like it was minutes ago when he found me in Bob's car.

''Daphne.'' Again, I refuse to acknowledge him, turning on the music more as the final part echoes through the car.

''We must kill this love

Yeah, it's sad but true''

''DAPHNE!'' He finally shouts, the sudden yell making me jump only for a second, before he grabs my face turning me towards him.

''Gotta kill this love

Before it kills you, too''

I try to disconnect myself from his grasp but he doesn't let me, pinching my cheeks between his palm and forcing me to stay leaned over him. His eyes stay sharply over my face, while he drives with one hand without looking at the road.

When I realise what he is doing I struggle against him, unable to neither free myself or talk with how tight his hold is. Panicking I try to yell at him and he laughs at my face.

''Oh now you want to talk.''

''Kill this love

Yeah, it's sad but true''

''St...'' I choked out sensing the car stumbling over the side of the road, but he doesn't listen. His gaze stays penetrated on me and whispers closely to my lips.

''That's what you wanted right?''

''Gotta kill this love''

''Let's do it then baby. You and me.''

''Gotta kill..''

The car slides off the road, into the dirt and I feel my heart pulsing to my ears, hot tears pricking down my face when he yells.

''Come on!''

''Ple..'' I try to beg, but it's pointless.

The dust covers up the windshield, car still sliding over and over while the song drums around us and I guess I should have known.

''Let's kill this love!''

We were doomed from the beginning.

4.

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