I woke up in full relaxation. Johnson was cuddled in my chest, my arms were wrapped around his small body, as if I were protecting him from the cold. His arms were also wrapped around me, his beautiful blonde platinum hair sticking up everywhere.

Yesterday, I can't even describe it. So much bottled up energy was released, I didn't know i had it all. He's a sort of, sexual person when you open that can, but he does it right.

I would stay like this everyday if I could. This boy means the whole world. He's such an amazing man.

Last night we ended around 8 pm, I brought him wine and ramen noodles last night in bed, just to set the mood. But this man left me so sore, walking was a hassle.

But the most memorable part, was after all of that. We brushed our teeth and opened all the windows in his room, turned off every light, and he laid on top of me, us both bare naked.

I held him close to me, making sure to never let go. I told him everything I never told anyone, other than amber. My best friend, Matthew, loosing his battle with depression. Me dealing with anxiety, my actual thought on fame, and my hopes for the future.

He listened to everything, slowly drawing lines on my chest. But nothing compared to his story. His father struggling with lung cancer, his fear of never being accepted by his family for being gay, and something he's never told anyone, but me.

His terrible battle with depression. His two suicide attempts. One even being in my home.

Last night

"It was terrible Jack. I lived in constant fear for being gay. You don't know how many friends i've lost, family members that cut ties with me, people in school who would call me whore and faggot for no reason. Not only that, my father struggled with depression as well, so it carried with me unfortunately." JJ cried, his tears falling to my chest.

"After dylan, He told me horrible things. Calling me worthless, stupid, a whore, useless, it's like i heard those words on repeat every. day. I couldn't take it. I went through my old stuff that night to fish out my bottle of depression medication. I was so close to doing it Jack. If I took three more pills, I would been gone in a snap. I decided not to. For what? I don't know. It's like i had a bit of hope in me. I didn't want to die, I want to end the pain." He explained, holding me so tightly.

How dare dylan. If I ever see him, that man is going in the ground. I could never imagine seeing my baby on the ground, no pulse, god that's straight death.

"JJ listen to me, you are an amazing human. I couldn't imagine my life without you. I would go to the absolute ends of this world to make you happy, even if it takes my whole life." I whispered, kissing his head.

He got to eye level with me, still holding me tight. I wiped the tears on his face that shined from the only light source, the moon.

"Promise me Gilinsky, you won't leave me tonight. All I need is your embrace and voice. Please don't let me go." My arms were around him, holding him like a baby.

I bit my lip and kissed him passionately.

Leaving the kiss, i butted my head with his. "I'm never going to leave you in the dark. Not tonight, not ever." I whisper.

~

I could never forget it all. Last night will always hold a place in my heart.

As I played with his messed up hair, his face twitched and he came more into my chest, pulling my sheets up closer to him.

I checked the clock on his night stand. Luckily it was only 9:30 am, but Vanessa gets up around 9 and has breakfast ready by 10:30. I soaked in the smell of JJ, his shampoo scent filled my senses.

"Baby boyyy, get up please. The world needs to shine from your bright blue eyes." I whispered chuckling. He sighed and cuddled his way even more into me.

This boy can't fail to make me melt with his cuteness.

"Why can't we just stay like this forever? All day everyday." he groaned, lifting a leg to let it rest on mine.

His groggy voice is better than any meal i've had. It's so sexy and mesmerizing.

"You know I would want to love, but sadly life takes a toll." I giggle kissing his head. He smiles and opened his crystal blue ocean eyes. God, what a beautiful person to wake up alongside of.

Now this, this is what I call life's greatest accomplishments. Waking up in Jack Gilinskys bare chest, his hair messed up but perfect, his smile going on for miles, and that voice. That voice is what always caught me off guard.

"Jack, I don't think i've ever told you, but you are a beautiful, and I mean a beautiful human being. God what a sight for sore eyes." I replied, biting my lip.

A tint of rose pink covered his cheeks. "Baby please, look at yourself. God it's like i'm dating a model. How the fuck are you a house cleaner?" Gilinsky smiled sitting up against my headboard. Without a question, he put my body on his, making me sit directly on his genital area. You know i would get horny, but I just want to admire him at the moment.

"So, babe, how about we do something today? Like head out to some cafe for lunch?" He asked tracing my somewhat abs. I mean there isn't anything there but i guess he sees otherwise. Swimming late in his pool pays off.

That babe though. The way it slips off his tongue. It's like the word was created for me not anyone else. It makes me feel a something, but i don't know what.

"Sounds like a plan to me handsome. What about Amber?" I ask, wanting to know just for reassurance she won't interrupt anything.

He rolled his eyes and shrugged. "I'll just text her telling her to come by around 6 or whenever. It'll be the last time so i want her to say a good long bye to my ass. With the dogs, considering i've cared and payed for them, they're ours."

It still hurts that that stupid bitch would even consider cheating. Come on, on this love bird, how could you ever?

"Today is a day for you love. Focused on you and possibly me." He whispered pecking my lips.

wanting more, i bite my lip and scoot in more closer to him, abdomen to abdomen.

"Baby we gotta get readyy, dont tease me with your good looks." He groans playfully running his hands down my back.

"Oh please gilinsky. A little make out morning session never killed nobody." I smirked, wrapping my arms around his neck. He smiled and soon placed his lips on mine, laying us back.

He towered over my small pale body, still going at it.

After about 10 or so minutes he pulled away from my lips panting. "God, i'll never get tired of that. Now, Let's go have some fun." He sweats, kissing my nose and getting up to find a robe of mine to wear as he goes to his room.

And at that moment on, the feeling finally came to me. The words I can finally say.

Jack Finnegan Gilinsky, i'm in love with you.

🦕