Chapter 30:

I wake up to hear a noise and I sit up in alert, rubbing my eyes trying to bring life back into them.

Pulling the duvet back, I get out of bed.. I knew that noise.

I heard it again and my pace quickened trying to get to his room. Quickly opening his door to see him tossing and turning, him mumbling unintelligent things to himself. Switching his lamp on my eyes landed on his damp shirt. What's going on?

"Landon?" He stirs again but he starts to shake a little like someone just hit him. "Landon!" He doesn't wake up. He's having a nightmare and I didn't know what to do. I was afraid if I would slap him he would go into a seizure or something.

Sleep Paralysis maybe?

"Landon please wake up." I placed my hand over his "Why aren't you waking up?" I was starting to get scared as he began to breathe heavier than before.

"Okay you're scaring me." I tried again. "Wake up-"

I felt his hand tighten around mine as he opens his eyes. His eyes blink rapidly for a few seconds.

His eyes dart over to mine and he sprung into action sitting up and catching a single tear that was preparing itself to roll down my face. "Landon why do you keep doing this?" Something was wrong.

And with him looking down at his shirt, he knew it to. His sweaty palm fell from my face to his lap before he moved over, he looked ashamed that I had caught him again. "You can talk to me." I tried to make him feel comfortable.

We sat there for I don't know how long, the only sound we heard was him moving his duvet back and leaning his head on the headboard before sighing. "I suffer from sleep paralysis and anxiety attacks from time to time." So that time my assumption was correct.

"You get anxiety attacks?" That was news and it didn't seem to have fitted in his character but then again no one could really tell. "Why."

"She left me."

"Who is she?" He doesn't respond, he looks lost in thought. Sitting up he pulled his shirt over his head and off.

I've never seen him be this vulnerable before. I hesitantly sat on the bed next to him, I didn't want to pressure him into talking. He took my hand. "She left me." He repeated, but he didn't look up at me.

"Your mother? I thought-" My brain was trying to go back in time and sure enough I remembered he said stepmom.

"No, not my stepmom. My mom left me." He empathized on his words, and he even sounded disgusted by them.

"Why?"

He gives a small laugh in disbelief . "I ask the same thing over and over again." And not wanting ask anymore questions, I pulled on his hand for him to come to me. He hesitated at first but he allowed himself the comfort. His hands secured themselves around me as I did him.

He buried his head into my shoulder, I felt his lips quivering and how fast his breathing was coming on the hollow base of my collarbone.

"I was nine, when she left." He began to talk. " I didn't understand at first but then everything seemed to click into place when I had gotten older. I always saw her with this man but I never paid attention. She would always talk to him instead of Dad more. I remember watching her go into a room and I followed her to see her with the same man and I tried to get him away from her because I thought he was hurting her." He took a deep breath before continuing.

"And he threw me to the ground not before hitting me twice and she didn't even care just told me to leave and that's what I did, respecting her wishes all the while ignoring the ache I felt. The next day, I heard my dad and her arguing about missing money and when they finally figured out who did it, she just vanished."

"The lady in the office." I said that for my to jog my memory back but he confirmed it for me again.

"I was eighteen when she decided to try to be back in my life but it was like knowing a...stranger and she's always tried but I.. never let her back in."

"Okay." I shushed him. "It's okay." I hated seeing him like this and I've only seen it two times, but I know I don't want him to feel this way- to let this control him. He had a family that loves and cares for him- but he doesn't have to love of his birth mother.

"She wants back into my life for the money, every time I try to take a step forward, there she is to push me back." I lift his head off my shoulder to look into his eyes even though the room is dim.

"Landon, its okay." I heard my voice crack.

"I have nightmares and sometimes dreams but they seem too realistic," He continued on not caring about what he was saying, he was just ranting.

"There not real."

"They feel real, they are real." He countered back.

I sigh at this, what could I do?

Raising up on my knees, I brought both of my hands up to cup each side of his face, wiping away the dampness that was surfaced there. Attaching my lips to his, he watched me with curiosity and need. He had a slight frown on his face.

He slowly reached both of his hands out, swiping them against my thighs before he pulled me on top of him. My shirt hitting his bare chest. "I shouldn't have slept alone." He mumbled before he pulled my hair tie from my hair and my curly hair fell around me, it didn't last long feeling his hands braid themselves into it.

My hands shakily went to caress his chest and he hissed out, probably from how cold my hands were before he kissed me with all he could give me and I was okay with that, I just wanted him to forget.

His left hand secured around me before he flipped me over, him being on top. The kiss was broken for a split second-but it didn't feel like it at all. He kept all of his weight off me and my hands moved on their own, sliding across his back to his midsection and he groaned from my feather like touch.

I felt my way further down but his hand reached down to stop me, pinning it by my head. "Embre." He kissed down my neck, leaving me to try to find my voice again. "No."

"Why?" I asked, bringing my left hand up since my other one was occupied. "You don't-"

"Not like this." He grimaced. "It's bad enough that you have to suffer through my problems, I don't want to be selfish."

"Landon-"

"No." He denied further negotiation. "I know you're not ready."

"I could be." I lied.

"Really?" He asked sarcastically. "So if I do this.." He released my right hand to go to the edge of my shirt. The coldness of his palm and the warmth that I was feeling was a bad combination as I flinched away but he didn't stop, his palm came in contact with my stomach. I felt his hand moving up and I watched as my stomach rose up and down more by the second. "How would you feel?"

"I would-" His hand was on the edge of my bra.

I repeat... his hand on was on the edge of my bra.

"I'm waiting."

"Okay you win." I rolled my eyes before dismissing his hand away from my cleavage.

"Exactly."

"Did that make you feel better?"

"You can only suffice pain for so long before it resurfaces so yes and no."

"I'm sorry." I was apologizing for that ridiculous idea and to that underlying pain he was feeling.

"It's not your fault." He kissed the top of my forehead before he rolled off of me. He shifted so he was facing me and I curled up into a small ball once feeling the warmth disappearing. "Stay with me?"

"I didn't plan on leaving."

"Good." He pulled the duvet over me, leaving himself out and I didn't like it. Reopening it, I fanned some of the cover over him.

I snuggled closer to him, his chin resting on my forehead and I felt comfortable and safe in that exact moment. It was like he was my missing puzzle piece and I have yet to discover the others to my life. But for right now in his arms, knowing that he was safe from his dreams I could sleep.

••

The sound of running water made me joint up in freight. That definitely was not apart of my dream.

Running my right hand down my face, I was startled once again after hearing the bathroom door squeak open.

Landon stepped out in nothing but a towel, that he was securing in place with his right hand while his left hand- with a smaller towel- was busy capturing the leftover residue water in his hair. "You're awake," I hear him state the obvious.

"Yeah I think I am." I say back to him, after all I could still be dreaming after what I just witnessed.

He stood there for a good while and I started to shift awkwardly. "So uh... are you going to go change?" I pointed to his closet and he laughed to himself before saving me from further embarrassment.

He really didn't help as he walked back out with nothing but black sweatpants on, he sat in front of me with half of body directed to the door and the upper part of his body was twisted to face me.

"How are you feeling?" I asked him.

"Better." He shrugged.

"You sure?"

"Yes."

"Positive?"

"Yes."

"Okay." I sagged in relief.

"But thank you.." He reaches out to grip my hand in his own. "For staying again."

"It's no problem." I waved him off with my other hand. "I like being your nightlight."

"Nightlight?"

"Yeah."

"Elaborate."

"To make you feel safe I guess..." I trailed off. "I don't know I'm kind of corny when it-"

"No." He cut me off. "You're right."

"Elaborate." I threw his word right back at him.

"You make me feel safe." He shifted so that he was fully facing me with his right leg bent. "You comfort me in my time in need, and that's what a nightlight is, and it keeps my anxiety away."

"Oh good." I held my left hand to my chest. "I thought you were only going to say I was just a source of light."

"My light." His eyes drifted over my face and as if he realized something in the exact moment, he looked away from me.

"I'm giving you the day off." He detached our hands from each other leaving a stinging feeling to surface in the middle of my palm.

"Why?"

"Because I think you deserve it."

"Will you be able to manage?" There was a reason he needed a personal assistant and I couldn't just take a day off even though I did.

"I'll have Mrs. Net cover for you."

"Mrs. Net?"

"Miss Jones originally, she's married now."

"Oh." Lucky her.

"You'll be fine here by yourself right?" He didn't make eye contact with me as if he was fighting something within himself. "You won't burn the house down will you?"

"Of course not. We don't need another part two." I tried to lighten the mood but he didn't fall for it like I thought he would.

"Right.." He trailed off before going into his closet, preparing for work.

... Well that's not awkward.

It's probably nothing.

But it could be something...

•••

*Two weeks later**

"My sister is coming to pick you up." Landon informed me and my eyes widen in alarm.

"For?" I asked, bringing my right hand up to cover my mouth from eating my burrito.

"She wants to take you shopping." He sat his soon to be empty cup down on the table.

"For?" I asked again, swallowing and picking up sweet tea to drink.

"For the event." He raised his eyebrows up at me in questioning. "You forgot didn't you?"

"No." Yes. "I already have clothes."

He sighed. "It's okay I get it, you don't want to spend-"

"You don't have to guilt trip me mister." I sat my cup down. "But I'll go, it'll be nice to hang out with her."

"Thank you." He coo'ed at me trying to sneak in for a kiss.

"Get your jalapeño breath away from me." I placed my hand on the side of his cheek, stopping his advancement.

He didn't stop at that, He caught my palm before I could reject it back, leaving butterfly kisses in my palm. "You love it."

My heart picked up at his sweet gesture and when he released my hand for me to place it back down, I couldn't help but stare..

I felt like I was seeing him for the first time, as I watched the corner of his mouth twitched up to a half hearted smile, his eyes seemed to be brighter than before and everything around us seemed to have disappeared and it was just us.

Quickly shaking my head to snap out of my daze, I looked around to see at least three other people and my hearing seemed to have resurfaced as I heard the clinking of chairs and the beeping horns from outside.

"Are you okay?" Landon's arm clamps down on my hand, and my eyes widen again turning to look at him.

"Yeah... I'm fine." I stood up. "Are you ready to go? I think we have to back in.." I looked to my phone for the time. "Ten minutes? Yeah ten... so uh... I'll be in the car." I left everything behind me as I bolted out of the door into the cool breezing air.

I took a deep breath... The feeling in my chest wouldn't go away and I knew it was one thing and mentally I thought, I'm screwed. It was too early to even feel this-

"Embre." I heard the sound of the bell as he opened the door to follow after me. "What's going on?"

"Huh? Nothing.. I'm fine." I placed the most plastered unrealistic smile on my face. "See?"

"You left your phone.. and your food so something has to be wrong."

"Oh right." I placed my hand on my forehead. "Sorry I'm so careless sometimes." Lies.

Stepping around him to walk back into the building, I picked up my phone and wrapped up my burrito and placed it in the bag with my tortilla chips before exiting again. "Okay done."

He was not moved by my words as he just stood looking at me as if I lost my mind. "Alright.."

"I'm being weird aren't I?"

"Yeah kind of." He folded his arms. "Well maybe a lot."

"I'm sorry." I walked back over to him, and even in heels I had to lift up on the balls of my toes, giving him a kiss on the cheek.

"Are you bipolar?"

"No, I think I'm fine." I shrugged. "Now what time does this party start?"

"Seven."

"But it's only..."

"Well if it isn't the two love birds." I heard her voice interject and I turned to see her wearing fashionable clothes with her sunglasses and her gigantic purse resting in the crack of her elbow. "Is she ready to go?"

"Why do I feel like I'm being shipped off to the navy?"

"Because you are."

I turned back to Landon. "Help?"

"I'll see you at six."

"What about work?"

"I'll worry about it." He insisted, not catching my drift that I didn't quite want to be left with the fashion police. "And Lilly." He looked over me to his sister. "Don't have her looking plastic, I love how she looks."

"Plastic? I should call Barbie and tell her you insulted her."

"Give me her number and I'll do it for you." He joked back with his sister. He locked his eyes back with mine. "I'll see you at six sweetheart." He bend down to kiss me and my eyes fluttered close like it was a routine.

"Okay that's enough, I'm going to gag." I could hear her heels clicking away probably to go to her car.

"She's just jealous." He smiled against my lips before giving me one last kiss before detaching himself away from me.

"Six?" I questioned.

"Six."

"And it'll be six and you'll still be looking like a trash can if you don't get in my car." Lilly honked her horn. "Let's go people!"

Walking around her car, I opened the door. "I'll have you know this is from Forever 21." I joked.

She rested her head on the wheel and sighed.