Berkley walked into her Dad's house and saw her brother Keagan sitting on the couch. He jumped up immediately and walked over and scooped her up into a hug. 

Then he picked her up and spun her around, making her laugh. Of course it wouldn't be Keagan if he didn't also put her into a headlock and rub his knuckles into her hair. She stomped on his foot and as he was distracted she slipped out of his grip and pinned his arm behind him. 

He got out of it easily and they wrestled like this back and forth for a minute until they heard their Dad's booming voice coming down the stairs, "Children! Settle down!" he laughed. 

She walked over and gave her Dad a tight hug and a kiss on the cheek. 

"When did you get here Peanut?" 

"Just a minute ago. I thought I'd stay here during Christmas break while Keagan's in town." 

Her Dad smiled and said, "That's a great idea. Where's Dean?" he asked, looking around. 

"I don't know. Haven't seen him," she shrugged, turning around and walking towards the kitchen, getting out a pop. 

Keagan laughed, "What do you mean you haven't seen him? You guys are inseparable. Where one goes the other follows." 

She sighed before she took a drink. 

"Yeah well, things change. We had a fight three months ago and haven't really seen or talked to each other since. It's no big deal. We're grown ups now and we're both busy with school and we have our own lives. I've moved on."

Keagan shook his head, "What? That's crazy. I never thought I'd see the day you two would stop talking. I can't believe it."

She took a deep breath in and let it out. 

"Yeah well, believe it. We are the dynamic duo no more," she walked over and plopped down on the couch next to Keagan's very pregnant fiance, Hallie. 

"Hey Hals. How are you feeling?" she asked, eyeing her very round belly. 

Hallie rubbed a hand over it and smiled. 

"I'm feeling good. I can't wait for this baby girl to get here. Only a month left." 

That made her smile. "I can't believe Keagan is gonna be a Dad," she said, shaking her head in disbelief. "I hope you're planning to name the baby after me. If not I'm gonna be super offended," she teased. 

Keagan looked down at the ground and he didn't laugh, as he slipped a hand in his pocket. He took a deep breath and said, "Actually we were planning to name her after Mom." 

"Really?" Berkley asked, feeling her eyes water and her lip tremble as she was suddenly overcome with emotion. As she stood up her eyes filled with tears and one ran down her cheek as she walked over and hugged her brother and started to cry on his shoulder. She felt someone to the side of them and she looked over and her Dad was there so they pulled him into the hug and they all cried. 

"I would get up and join your hug too but I don't think I can get up off the couch," Hallie said, making them all laugh through their tears. 

"Well then the hug will just have to come to you," Berkley said, sitting down beside her and pulling her into a hug and then looking down at her belly, saying, "I can't wait to be an Aunt. I just wish you guys didn't live so far away so I could see her more." 

"Me too," Hallie smiled. 

"Are you guys ready to help me put up the Christmas decorations? I didn't want to put them up all by myself so I was saving them for when you all got here."

"Sure Dad," she smiled. "I'll make some hot cocoa and put on some Christmas music while you and Keagan bring the stuff down from the attic." 

"Sounds like a plan kiddo. Let's do a real tree this year for a change," her Dad said, squeezing her shoulder as he walked by. "Keagan come with me to pick it up," he said with a smile and they both brought everything down from the attic before heading out.

Pretty soon the cocoa was steaming hot and she was pouring it into mugs and adding marshmallows while 'Oh Christmas Tree' was ringing through the house. She had decided to bake some cookies to go with the cocoa and she was just finishing up the frosting and sprinkles on them when her Dad and Keagan came in carrying the tree. She went in there with the tray of cookies and cocoa, sitting it on the coffee table before helping them all decorate the tree.

Her family's box of ornaments were a collection of things they made in their childhood and special keepsakes. 

"Look here's one of you and Dean that it says you made in second grade," her Dad said with a laugh. 

She looked at the ornament that was a picture of their smiling faces, with them both missing their front teeth and it was outlined in glitter sparkles and macaroni. Seeing that made her heart hurt and she fought back the urge to cry. 

"We don't have to put that one on the tree this year," she said, turning around and handing it back to her Dad.

She went over to the ornament box and looked inside for one to hang and her Dad walked over next to her. 

"Listen Peanut. I don't know what you two are fighting about but surely you can work it out. You two have been inseparable since you were babies. I actually don't think I've ever seen two people as close as you two are. That kind of friendship is worth fighting for." 

Keagan looked at her and said, "Yeah what did he do that's so serious that you haven't talked to him in three months? Did he make another boyfriend break up with you or something?" 

"I just don't feel like talking about it okay?" she said, fighting back the tears as she hung an ornament on the tree. 

They decorated the tree in silence for a minute before her Dad spoke up and said, "Your Mom was convinced you and Dean were going to get married one day. She was absolutely sure of it," he said, smiling at the memory. "She would be so heartbroken to know that you aren't even friends anymore."

Hearing him say that made her eyes start to burn with tears. 

"Well whatever it is you two are fighting about, you'll just have to get over it for Christmas Dinner. It's a tradition since before you were even born that their family has Christmas dinner with us every year and we're not changing that just because you and Dean had a fight."

The thought of sitting through a Christmas dinner with Dean at her table was unbearable. She had been able to avoid him for the most part at school but here she couldn't do that.

"Is your boyfriend coming to Christmas dinner?" Keagan asked. 

"Yeah, he'll be here," she nodded. 

"Oh Dean's bringing a girl to the Christmas dinner too," her Dad said, hanging a sparkling light up ornament on the tree. 

"He is?" she asked, surprised. 

"Yep. His Dad said he's been seeing her for three months. It must be pretty serious if he's bringing her to Christmas dinner." 

Hearing that broke her heart and she couldn't help but hang her head and cup her face in her hands and start crying. Her heart was so broken right now and it hurt so bad. 

"Oh honey, what's wrong?" her Dad asked, walking over to her and rubbing her back. 

She lifted her head and wiped her tears, trying to think of an excuse. 

"Oh ...... ummmm. It just hit me that this is the first time we've ever put the tree up without Mom." 

Her Dad hugged her and rubbed her back to comfort her, but it was no use. What was broken inside her couldn't be fixed by a back rub. She was hit with a pang of guilt, feeling like the worst daughter in the world that she had been thinking more about Dean than her Mom and that she wasn't really the reason she was crying. Dean really had distracted her from everything else and she knew she needed to get a grip.

Berkley was in the kitchen basting the turkey and finishing up the mashed potatoes when she heard the front door open and friendly happy voices talking. She recognized them as Dean's parents and that probably meant he was here too with his girlfriend. The thought of it made her feel sick. 

A little while later there was another knock at the door and a little bit after that the kitchen door opened and there was Zander looking as handsome as ever in a nice suit, holding a bottle of wine. 

"Hey babe," he said with a smile, leaning down and giving her a kiss. 

"Hey," she said with a smile. "I'm just finishing up here and then I'll be out there to join you." 

"Actually I'd rather stay in here and chat with you than be out there with Dean glaring at me," he laughed. "I swear I think that guy hates me for some reason." 

"Oh that's just his personality. Ignore him," she said. 

He looked her up and down, judging her Christmas sweater and jeans. "Are you seriously going to wear that? You're not even gonna make an attempt to look nice?"

"Yeah, I'm really gonna wear this," she said with a clenched jaw. She really hated when he insulted her appearance like that. He did it pretty often.

She finished up the food pretty quick and handed Zander some dishes to carry out to the serving table. She carried the last dish out, sitting the perfect turkey in the center of the long rectangular table. Then she looked up and saw the back of Dean standing there talking to his Dad with his arm around the waist of a tall, leggy blonde in a short dress and she was smiling up at him like she was in love. Seeing that hit her like a ton of bricks and all the air left her lungs. She instantly felt dizzy and lightheaded.

Berkley's chin and bottom lip started to shake as tears threatened to come out, but she bit into her bottom lip to hold them back. She turned around and went back in the kitchen and grabbed Zander, covering his mouth with a kiss, wishing that it would make her feel better but it didn't. As much as she tried to convince herself that it did, kissing him never felt as good as it had felt to kiss Dean. 

She took his hand and walked out to see everyone sitting at the table and the only two seats left were across from Dean and his girlfriend that she found out was named Stacia. She sat down and Zander sat next to her, putting his hand on her knee. She refused to look at Dean so she looked across into the blue eyes and stunningly beautiful face of his girlfriend Stacia and felt nauseous.

She watched as she leaned in and whispered something in Dean's ear with a seductive smile on her face and it made Berkley's stomach tie into a knot.

'Kill me now,' she thought. This was going to be the most agonizing dinner of her life.