"So Dinner tonight was a little awkward, don't you think?" Zander asked with a laugh.

She took a deep breath in and let it out.

"Yeah. I guess it was," she shrugged, laying back on his bed beside him and staring at the ceiling.

"You guess?" he asked, furrowing his eyebrows at her. "Were we at the same dinner? Dean was giving me a death stare the entire time. I was just waiting for him to dive across the table and start throwing punches," he laughed. "I don't understand what his problem is with me anyway. Why does he hate me so much?"

"I have no idea babe. Maybe he doesn't. He has a resting bitch face that can give people that impression sometimes."

"No," he scoffed, shaking his head. "This is not a case of RBF. He definitely hates me."

He rolled over onto his side and slid his hand under her shirt onto her stomach and said, "Thank you for coming over to my place tonight. I appreciate you stealing a little time away from your family for me."

He leaned in and kissed her softly and she kissed him back. The next thing she knew he was rolling on top of her.

"Wait. Don't forget the condom," she said, turning away from his kiss and pushing him back.

"Oh yeah. I forgot."

She always made him wear one because it felt like an extra layer of protection from getting pregnant by him even if she was on birth control. He slipped on a condom and grabbed some KY jelly off his nightstand, reaching down and rubbing it between her legs.

That was his way of making sure she was ready for him, not by giving her an orgasm first like Dean did. She thought it was kind of weird that she was never naturally wet for Zander. He climbed up on top and kissed her mouth as he reached down and guided himself to her entrance. He wasn't into foreplay. He always just cut right to it.

He pushed all the way in and started moving in and out. His wasn't long enough to reach the back of her insides and she really missed that. It had felt so good when Dean did it. His also wasn't wide enough to make her feel like she was being stretched.

Sex with him was just there. It just was. Like a task that needed to be done, like brushing your teeth or taking out the trash. She didn't daydream about having sex with Zander like she had with Dean. Every once in a while she would touch herself and get off thinking about her time with Dean in the Hampton's and how amazing it was while it lasted.

Zander gave her a kiss while he thrusted inside of her and he asked, "Does that feel good?"

"Yeah babe. It feels great. Keep going," she said, trying to sound as enthusiastic as possible.

She started moaning to give him some encouragement, not because it was involuntary like it had been with Dean.

"Oh yeah babe. That's the spot. Keep going," she said. She felt bad for pretending to enjoy it more than she did but what else was she supposed to do? Just lay there like a bump on a log? She was ashamed that she had faked orgasms with him multiple times but she figured it was an ego boost for him and a lot of times she did it because it gave him an incentive to finish faster so she could be done with it and get some sleep.

She felt his body tremble as he finished and he flopped over onto the bed in a heap. She reached over and looked at the time on her phone. Less than 10 minutes this time.

After getting her heart broken by Dean she had gone straight to Zander for emotional support and because she needed a distraction to take her mind off of him. One thing lead to another and they hooked up. Over the last 3 months she had tried as hard as she could to fall in love with him so she could forget about how Dean broke her heart but it was no use.

She was having trouble getting over the things that Dean had overheard him say, even though he had apologized and said he didn't mean it. When she had confronted him about it he said it was just 'guy talk' and didn't mean anything. .

She was at the point now where she was about to give up on ever being able to fall in love with him. She knew she should just cut him loose but having him around was a like a security blanket. It was kind of nice to know that at least somebody wanted to be with her, even if it wasn't the one she really wanted.

Zander got up and she watched him slide the condom off and she couldn't help but be a little grossed out by it as he tossed it in the trash and wiped himself off with some toilet paper and flushed it.

"You probably shouldn't stay the night. I've got to be up early in the morning for Coast Guard duty and I sleep better when I'm by myself."

She knew what he secretly meant. 'You don't keep me up all night with your nightmares when I'm by myself.'

Even when she was cuddled up with Zander she still had the nightmares. Apparently only cuddling with Dean stopped them.

"Yeah. Of course. I planned on going home anyway so I can have breakfast with the family in the morning," she said, getting up and getting her clothes on.

Before she left, she walked over and gave him a peck on the lips.

"Bye babe."

"Bye," he said with a straight face, never even looking up from whatever he was checking on his phone.

When she got back to her Dad's house it was a little after midnight so she walked quietly, trying not to wake anybody up. She was surprised that she heard some movement coming from the kitchen.

She tiptoed over there to see who it was and Keagan was standing in front of the open fridge in the dark kitchen, illuminated with a yellow glow from the fridge light.

"Hey," she whispered. "What are you doing up?"

He jumped and gasped. "Fuck! You scared the shit out of me Berk."

She laughed, "Sorry. What are you doing?"

"Hallie's craving some leftovers," he laughed. "She gets these really strong cravings now that she's pregnant and if they don't get satisfied it gets ugly."

"Oh how scary could sweet little Hallie possibly be?" she laughed.

"You have no idea. Hell has no wrath like a hungry pregnant woman," he smirked, getting what he wanted out of the fridge and popping it in the microwave. He leaned against the counter and crossed his arms over his chest.

He looked over at her with sympathy. "You're looking too skinny these days. Are you eating enough?"

"Yes Dad," she said, rolling her eyes. "I eat more than enough."

"Sorry. I just worry about being so far away from you with everything that's happened with Mom," he said with an exhale. "I used to not worry so much because I knew you had Dean looking out for you but now ........" he trailed off. "Look I love both of you guys. He's been one of my best friends my whole life and you're my little sister and I hate to see you both looking so miserable. So what's really up with you and him?"

"What do you mean? I told you guys earlier, we had a fight and grew apart."

"No," he laughed, shaking his head. "You can't fool me Berk. That might work with Dad but I see right through you. I know you both too well and there's definitely more to the story than that. You wouldn't throw away your friendship with Dean for no reason. There was so much tension between him and your boyfriend at dinner tonight I thought I was gonna have to break up a fight."

"You noticed that?" she asked, nervously.

"I think everyone noticed that," he laughed.

She leaned against the counter and looked down at the ground. "Well you're right. There's more to the story for sure but it's not something I'm willing to share with my big brother, no matter how close we are."

"Well you can spare me all the gory details and just tell me the PG version of it."

The microwave beeped and he opened it really quick so it wouldn't wake up the whole house.

"We slept together and I fell in love with him. I wanted to be more than friends and he didn't. He broke my heart. It was too hard to be around him because it just reminded me that he didn't want me, so I started dating Zander and Dean started dating that girl he was with tonight right after that. That's the PG version," she sighed.

"That asshole," he said, looking angry. "I've seen him do that to plenty of other women but I never thought he'd do that to you."

"It sounds bad but there's more to the story. Like I said, I'll spare you the details. Just don't be mad at him okay."

"If you say so. I'm just really surprised. I honestly always thought you two would end up together just like Mom and Dad did. I never imagined this is how it would end," he said, shaking his head.

"Yeah well, it did. I'd say it's safe to say our lifelong friendship is officially over. Sleeping with your best friend is never a good idea."

They were silent for a minute before he asked, "So how are you holding up with all the Mom stuff?"

"I mean," she said, taking a deep breath in and letting it out. "I'm doing a little better. I've been seeing a therapist."

"Really? That's a surprise."

"Yeah. Dean talked me into it," she said, hanging her head and leaning her butt against the counter behind her, letting out an exhale. "My night terrors are down to one a night so I wake up and feel like I actually slept. She helped me stop putting all the blame on myself for what happened that day and that was a big step. I was so full of grief and guilt that I couldn't move on with my life but now," she said, raising her head and looking over at him. "I'm starting to think I can."

"That's really good to hear Berk," Keagan said with a sympathetic smile. "So does moving on with your life include Zander?"

"I don't know," she sighed. "I'm on the fence. What do you think about him?"

"I mean I love the guy for saving your life but I don't really see you two as a couple. There's no spark or chemistry there at all. Someone could look at you two and think you were brother and sister."

"Yeah, he's definitely no Casanova," she laughed.

"He seems about as exciting as a colonoscopy," he said, making her laugh again and smack his arm.

He looked at her and said, "But seriously, just because the guy saved your life doesn't mean you should feel guilted into staying with him out of obligation or something. You should be with someone that really makes you happy Berk."

She took a deep breath in and let it out. "I know. I know. Now you better take your pregnant fiance her food before she chews your head off," she said, giving him a weak smile.

He grabbed the food out of the microwave. "If she gets mad I'll just tell her it was your fault. You kept distracting me."

"Oh sure. Throw me under the bus," she said, punching his arm.

"Hey take one for the team. I've bailed you out in my life time many times haven't I?"

"If by bailing me out you mean, helping Dean run off any man that liked me then yes but I wouldn't say you were doing me any favors. I should've kicked both your asses for that."

"Hey, I was just looking out for you. You're my kid sister. I'll always have your back," he said, sitting down the plate and pulling her into a hug, kissing the top of her head before picking the plate back up and walking away.