《See Me》34
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I ran my fingers over the beautiful blue beads. They were tiny, and each individual bead was separated by a two links of gold chain. It was gorgeous
"You like it?" Zane asked me from the drivers seat. He was peering over with me with excitement etched on his face. He wasn't nervous that I wouldn't like it, because he already knew I would.
"It's beautiful." I linked the bracelet around my wrist, connecting the metal clasp so it stayed put. It was so thin and subtle that you couldn't barely see it against my skin at first glance. "Thank you, Zane."
"You're welcome." Zane said before turning the music back up. "Now you can sing again."
I felt my face flush with heat as I turned my head in embarrassment. I had been singing, but I figured the music was too loud for Zane to hear. I almost couldn't stop myself once the notes starting leaving my mouth.
It was insane the lightness I had felt since waking up this morning. Even though Jax was rooting around in the back of my brain, like he always was, I couldn't help but feel refreshed when I woke up in Zane's sheets. I had slept in a bed, sober, for once. I hadn't tossed and turned all night, for once.
I felt like I had someone on my side. For once. Maybe I wasn't all alone.
"It's okay." Zane chuckled, noticing my mortified expression. "I liked it."
"Shut up!" I giggled at Zane. "You didn't like it."
"I did." Zane grinned back at me, and I've never seen a smile so utterly contagious. "I like everything you do, Seren."
"Everything?" I raised my eyebrow at him. I could think of a few things in particular he wasn't exactly fond of.
"Okay, okay. You got me." Zane said. I watched as he removed his hand from the steering wheel, moving it back to where it had been laying on my thigh since we had left our city.
I thought of all the times that other boys had done the same. All the times they had grabbed my thigh, placing their hand gently or squeezing it tight. I can think of countless times that it's happened. None of those hands have ever made me feel like this.
"Is that okay?" I glanced over to Zane who was looking back and forth between the road, my face, and his hand. He must have been watching me stare down at the way he was touching me.
"Yeah." I smiled back at him. "It's okay."
We had pulled off the highway and were driving down the quiet backroads now. The type of backroads that make you wonder what it's like to live in a place so quiet, the houses spread so far apart. Where you can smell the rustic scent of nature creep through the car vents. Zane seemed to know where he was going like the back of his hand, and I was wondering how he didn't get lost in the maze of small, uninhabited streets.
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Eventually, he pulled the car over on the dirt shoulder of the road. I looked around our new surroundings, noticing there was nothing here except trees lining the road on both sides.
"Did you drive all this way to show me the trees?" I asked, undoing my seatbelt so I could twist around in my seat and continue looking.
Zane breathed out a laugh. "Do you think I would do that?"
"I don't know. You always surprise me." I told him truthfully.
"Hopefully in a good way." Zane said, his eyes were serious despite the smile on his face. He looked as if he wasn't sure of the answer himself.
"I think so." I confirmed for him, watching as a trace of relief fell over his face.
"But no." Zane continued. "I didn't bring you here just to see the trees. It's just a little walk. That way." He raised his right hand to point to a small path in the trees.
"What is it with you and bringing me down these tiny, overgrown paths?" I laughed. "I still have the scratches on my legs from the last one."
"The most beautiful things in life require a little effort to get to, Seren." Zane said casually, but the way he was looking at me made feel anything but.
The deep green of the trees surrounding us as we walked down the path was almost hypnotizing to me. The way the leaves swayed with the wind, and reflected the rays of the sun back into the sky. Such a contrasting viewpoint, to see a tree and notice every individual leaf and branch erupting from it, instead of seeing a tree and looking at it as a whole. I toyed with that thought in my mind, wondering if everything in the world was as multidimensional.
I felt my mind go blank as the trees finally cleared, and no longer was I left questioning what Zane had brought me here to see. We had walked onto the hard rock of a cliff, over looking the beautiful, calm lake.
"How do you find these beautiful places?" I breathed out as I walked closer to the edge. The sight that met me when I hesitantly looked over the side was surprising, it felt like peace. We weren't that high up, but it felt like we were on a different planet.
"Henry, actually." Zane said as he walked up behind me. He rested his hands on my shoulders for moment before wrapping his arms around my chest, pulling me against him. I wish I could have taken a mental snapshot of this moment in my mind. I felt safe.
"He used to drag us on road trips just to find little places like this." Zane continued, and I knew from the sound of his voice that he was far away in memories. "He had this hunger for life. He just wanted to experience everything. He would drive us around for hours, barely listening to us complaining. He would park and make us walk around. Sometimes we didn't find anything, and we headed home. But the other times, we would find something special, like this place, and Henry would sit down and after a moment of silence he would say, I told you it would be worth it."
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I brought my hand up to Zane's arm, gripping it as if to let him know I was listening. "He sounds like a great person."
"Yeah. He was. I try to keep doing it, by myself, now that he's gone. It's how I found that bridge that I took you to last week. I just try to be more like him, in that sense. I was always envious of his love for life. He was never hesitant. If he wanted to do something, he just did it."
"I know what you mean. I'm jealous of those people too. The fearless ones, that don't worry about the what if's." I agreed with him. It's something I had always noticed, especially in other girls. The ones who never let anything stop them from just being themselves.
"You don't consider yourself to be like that?" Zane asked me, and I knew what he meant. I only appeared fearless when I was drunk, or high. But I wasn't really, even in an altered state of mind, I was just pretending to be.
"No." I laughed softly as I shook my head. "I have a lot of fears."
Zane was quiet for a moment as he rested his chin on the top of my head. "I don't think fearless means you don't have fears. I think it means recognizing that you have those fears but not letting them control your life."
I nodded, soaking in his words. Maybe he was right, the trouble was I still didn't know how to do that.
"Anyways. That's why I brought you here." Zane continued as he released his grip from my body. "For a little fearlessness."
I turned to him in curiosity as he stepped away from me and tore his shirt over his head and kicked his shoes off, leaving him standing in just his shorts. I tried not to let my eyes travel down his body. I tried. I didn't succeed. I felt my mouth open as I saw the way the muscles in his stomach were visible, even though I was certain he wasn't flexing. I let my eyes trace over the the way his skin stretched over them, wondering if I should count whether he had a six pack or more, if that's even possible, before I snapped myself out of it. I forced my eyes back up, hoping Zane didn't see the blush in my cheeks.
Zane smiled at me as he grabbed my hand. "Do you trust me?" I nodded, and he pulled me towards the edge. "You might want to take your shoes off."
It took me longer than it should have before I realized what he was saying.
"No." I felt my eyes grow wide as I turned to him. "We're going to jump?"
"I've done it before, many times. It's fun." He urged me, chuckling at my startled expression. "Fearless, remember?"
Fearless, I repeated in my head as I yanked my shoes off, tossing them to side. I hesitated before pulling my shirt over my head just like Zane had. Zane's eyes didn't leave mine as I turned back to him. He grabbed my hand again, interlacing our fingers and squeezing tightly.
"On three?" He asked.
"On three."
"1...
2..."
Zane's body launched off the rock before he said the word three, and since his hand was still connected to mine, he pulled me with him.
The fall only lasted for a few seconds, maybe even less. But not in my mind. It lasted minutes in my mind. I was blissfully aware of the air rushing through my hair, the feeling of surprise and excitement that erupted in my stomach. The way Zane's hand was squeezing mine. The freedom.
Zane's hand let go as our bodies hit the water. I felt the cool liquid cascade over me, soothing my skin. I felt the weight of my body pulling me down, before I propelled my legs and broke the surface. The warm air being sucked into my lungs. My legs gently dancing beneath me, keeping me afloat. I felt everything. I felt everything.
I can't describe the feeling that was shooting through me as I looked up at the brilliantly blue sky, the sun peaked behind a fluffy cloud. It felt like a flower had taken root in my heart, growing and unfurling its small leaves around my chest until the colourful petals finally bloomed.
"You okay?" I turned to Zane, was was watching me with hope swimming around his eyes.
I was okay. I was more than okay.
I wrapped my arms around Zane's neck, but I didn't give him chance to return the hug before I pulled my body back. Moving with this new found beauty I had found inside me, I pressed my lips against Zane's. It only lasted a second before I moved away and looked back towards the sky.
"Thank you." I told him. And I meant it.
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