“Hey, Holly. I know everything is really scary right now, but we’re going to get you settled into a room and Dr. Neil is on his way in, okay?” The nurse in the maternity ward was trying to talk to me, but I was only picking up about two-thirds of what she was trying to say to me. I kept looking around, hoping that any second Wes would walk through that door and be next to me for all this poking and proding.

After what felt like a lifetime, the ambulance finally arrived and I was rushed to the hospital in Waldorf. They took me right upstairs and I was in the process of getting me hooked up to all sorts of monitors as well as needles being inserted to start IVs and take some blood drawings. I started feeling contractions while I was in the ambulance and from then to now they had gotten progressively worse.

“Where is Wes? I need him,” I beg my nurse to find him for me. I couldn’t do this alone.

“Wes is filling out some paperwork for you. I promise he’ll be right in once we get you hooked up to everything.”

Her answer wasn’t exactly the one I was looking for. With all the nurses rushing around the room and orders being given I started to freak out. I couldn’t catch my breath and it felt like my heart was genuinely going to beat out of my chest.

“Holly, Holly, look at me, please.” The nurse almost forcefully grabs my shoulders and turns me to face her. “Ms. Moran, I know that everything is going really quickly and it is scary, but the baby is going to react to your heart rate and your stress. Just try your best to take long deep breaths.”

“I’m sorry,” I start to cry, which is pretty much doing the opposite of what she told me I needed to do.

“No, no, don’t be sorry, what you’re feeling is normal, but you’ve got to try really hard for me. Okay?”

I shakily nod my head, “Yeah, okay, I’ll try.”

There are a bunch of monitors on my stomach and they just finished entering a catheter when Wes comes through the door with another nurse. He rushes over to me and kisses my forehead. “Hey baby, I just saw Dr. Gregory, he’s on his way in, okay.”

I grab onto Wes for dear life, like he’s my lifeline. “I’m so scared, Wes. What if something is wrong?”

“You didn’t do anything wrong, Holly. I’m scared too, but we’re going to be in this together, okay?” Wes lays his chin on my head and squeezes my hand tightly. Finally, Dr. Gregory comes in in his full scrubs.

“Holly, sounds like somebody is trying to sneak out a little early, huh?” His tone is less serious than I thought it was going to be, but he grabs a tablet from the nurse and starts to look over the reports they have.

“Yeah, I have been on bed rest, I swear.”

“I believe you, don’t worry. We always knew that this could happen and the fact is we made it to 32 weeks and that is a success as it is, okay?”

“What happens if the baby comes now?”

“Well, first thing first, we’re going to give you a couple of medications. The nurses have already started you on one. It is to help the baby’s lungs develop, just in case.”

“Is that going to harm him at all? Like side effects?” Wes asks nervously.

“No, it’ll be just fine. In fact, this will ensure that his lungs are further developed if we’re able to get these contractions stopped and get a few more days in utero.”

“Just a few days?” Since my anatomy scan, everything had been about adding weeks to my pregnancy. Now that we’re only talking about days, the situation just got more serious.

“If I am being realistic with you two, a few days would be great right now. If we can get to 33 weeks that would be a dream. As I’ve been saying, every week is a huge milestone.”

“But he’s still going to be early?’

“Yes, probably.” Wes kisses the top of my head and rubs my back. I feel like I’ve failed our little boy. “So here is the other thing that we’re going to do. I have called for a flight med helicopter to take you to Fargo. They have the children’s hospital that is going to be able to take care of you and a preemie baby better.”

“We have to take a helicopter there? Is it that serious?” The panic in Wes’s voice increases.

“She does need to get there right away. I’ve already called a friend with the sheriff that is going to get you a police escort, Wes. Unfortunately, you cannot ride with her.”

Dr. Gregory says a few more things, but I kind of block him out. He said that they’re starting me on meds to slow the contractions and filling me with fluids to hopefully replace the water I’ve lost. I don’t get how that is possible. I don’t understand anything that is going on with me. I just know that I’m scared and worried that this little boy is going to come way too early. I can’t help but go through my daily routine for the last couple of months, thinking about every time I may have spent too much time out of bed. Worrying that every little thing I did could have caused this.

Wes goes outside to call everybody and give them an update while I try to get some rest, but my brain is in overdrive. When the medivac crew comes to take me I start to freak out again. I don’t want to be without Wes. Even with a police escort, it’ll still take him a few hours to get to Fargo. A lot can happen in that time, even Dr. Gregory promised me that the baby wouldn’t come before he got there. I don’t see how he could make such a promise.

I’ve never been in a helicopter before and I’m not sure I ever want to again after this. I’m pretty sure I will always relate any type of helicopter ride with this one and it would ruin any future experiences. The doctor that was on board was very nice and did what he could to keep me calm, but I was past the point of scared and worried, I was downright in fear as to what was happening. I decided to just close my eyes and try to get some sleep, just praying to God that he keeps this baby in a few more weeks.

-------------

By what I can only consider being a miracle, the contractions stopped and dilation didn’t progress any further and we were able to keep this baby in for a little further. I’m now 36 weeks and I have spent the last month in the hospital in Fargo on bedrest. I thought home bedrest sucked, hospital bedrest is even worse. 

Everybody has taken turns coming to see me and hang around to keep me company. I appreciated them taking the time to make the long trip, knowing that in the end, they would just be sitting in a hospital room. Wes has been here every weekend, usually Friday through Sunday. He brings Annabelle too. I miss our morning snuggles the most but she always brings some sort of craft or drawing for me though. Even though she’s not supposed to sit in bed with me, we sneak cuddle time.

Tiff is here visiting today. I was a bit bummed that she didn’t bring Sadie because I could use some baby cuddles to distract me from the boredom. I can’t say I blame her for not bringing her though. She has already joked more than once that she’s going to enjoy a full night’s sleep tonight.

“Good morning, Holly!” Dr. Gregory walked into my room looking a bit more cheery today than usual.

“Having a good day, Dr. Gregory? Was there free cake in the doctor’s lounge or something?”

“Not that I know of, but now I need to check.”

“If free food isn’t the care, why are you in such a great mood today?”

“Because, Holly, my favorite patient is going to have her baby today.”

“Whoa, what?”

“I looked at your scans from last night and he’s looking really good and hitting all the markers we want to see. With your current blood pressure and small contractions that you have been having, I think it is best to get him out of there right now.”

“I need to call Wes.” That was my only thought and I started looking around for my phone. It was plugged in across the room. Tiff had plugged it in before she went down to the cafeteria to get some coffee.

“We can have somebody do that. I’m going to give you some medicine to help you relax and maybe rest a bit. I’ll have my nurse call Wes. Do you have somebody here with you today?”

“Yeah, my sister-in-law, but she went downstairs for a moment.”

“I can wait a bit to give you this medication if you want some time with her.”

I nod my head, appreciating the gesture. Dr. Gregory closed his tablet and began to head out of the room before I stopped him. “Dr. Gregory?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you think for sure that he’s going to be okay?”

He takes the rolling chair and pulls it up next to my bed. “As we’ve been saying from the very beginning, your little guy looks great. No offense to you, but this is a you issue, not a him issue. I know that you would deal with bed rest for another week if that meant getting him for 37 weeks, but I really think it makes more sense to take him out now when we are in control. Not to mention, if your blood pressure gets too high, we would need to do an emergency c-section and I’d rather be on top of things.”

“Okay. I trust your judgment. I just want my baby to be okay.”

He assures me once again. “My end goal here is healthy baby, healthy mom.”

“Mine too. Thanks, Dr. Gregory.”