I haven't seen or heard from Noah in almost two weeks. We don't have any classes together and last weekend when I was tutoring Jackson, he wasn't around. I won't text him. I'm very careful not to be clingy. I'm afraid of how he would react if he finally sees how I really feel. In the past, girls that he's slept with who complain and beg him for more than he's willing to give get cut off. He's clear about what he wants and he ends the relationship, the fuck buddy status, whatever it is, as soon as the girl wants more than that. He told me that he doesn't think it's fair to continue after a girl has made it clear that she is no longer happy with the arrangement.

I'm in the middle of searching my entire closet for an outfit when Sierra runs into my room. "Look, I know you want to go to that frat party but what if we just go to a club instead?" She pleads "lets go to a place with a real bartender and let guys buy us expensive drinks" she clasps her hands in front of her chest, begging. 

"Sierra" I whine, not wanting to say "Noah won't be at a club, the only reason I'm going out at all is to see him." 

"He doesn't deserve you, Eve" she says, reading my mind. "If he hasn't realized yet that you are perfect and completely in love with him then he's either an idiot or an asshole." 

I sigh "he doesn't want a relationship, Sie. I don't know why I don't just move on, ya know? Why do I keep waiting around, hoping he'll change his mind" 

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Making our way into the frat house I grab Sierra's arm pulling her toward me "thank you" I say, planting a kiss on her temple "I love you and I appreciate your unwavering support for my fruitless efforts"

She laughs "I always got ya, girl!" 

The house is crowded and hot. As we walk to the kitchen my eyes scan the crowd for him. I see Dylan, Jackson and another of their roommates, Christian. They wave and we head over to them, they have a patio table and chairs pulled into the corner of the large deck off of the kitchen. Sitting down with them I groan and roll my eyes when I realize they are talking about football. I look at Sierra and see her expression mirrors mine. I can't stop myself from searching the crowd. I sit up a bit taller to look out, over the deck railing, into the backyard. He's not out here either.

I look over at Jackson. He is smiling at me but he looks strange. There is something off, sad, about his eyes. He opens his mouth, I lean in, thinking he's going to tell me something. 

"You seen Noah lately?" Dylan surprises me by asking.

I look at Jackson before answering. He's glaring daggers at Dylan. His jaw is set tight and his brows are furrowed.

"Umm, no, not for a few weeks" I say, feeling embarrassed. I feel like there is something going on, like everyone is in on the joke but me, or worse, the joke is on me. I look at Jackson but he won't meet my eyes. Dylan and Christian exchange a look. I turn to Sierra and she is looking back and forth between the three boys, she looks as confused as I feel. Something weird is going on and nervousness settles into the pit of my stomach.

"Let's go get a drink, Evie" Sierra says, standing and grabbing my arm, dragging me back into the kitchen before I can respond.

"That felt weird, didn't it?" I look at Sierra who is drinking from a bottle of water. She hands it to me before answering "super fucking weird. That's why I dragged you out of there. If something is going on with Noah, those are his boys, they aren't going to tell you."

I nod, gulping down the rest of the water. "I'm sorry I dragged you here Sie. Tomorrow night we'll go to a club. Ok?" 

Letting out an excited squeal she begins jumping up and down "fucking finally." 

---------

I was ready to leave as soon as I realized Noah wasn't going to show up. I played a few drinking games with Sierra and Jackson. I tried to enjoy myself and not let my mind wander to Noah and what he might be doing tonight. All of his friends and teammates were here.

I'm grateful that my embarrassment keeps me from asking any of them where he is. I don't want anyone to know how truly pathetic I am. The only person that is allowed to know that is Sierra.

"You ok, Evie?" Jackson asks handing me a water bottle while taking the empty seat next to me.

"Thanks, Jack. Yeah, I'm ok." I smile, hoping it looks happy.

"You know" his voice sounds unsure "you shouldn't wait around for Noah."

I'm sure he sees the shock on my face.

"I just mean that you're a great girl, you could have a boyfriend. Someone that only wants you."

I open my mouth but no words come out.

"You don't have to say anything, Evie. I just always wanted to tell you that. I know that Noah is my best friend, I just, I just want you to think about maybe moving on from this relationship with him." His face looks serious and his tone almost sounds like a warning. My mind goes back to earlier, with Dylan and Christian, how they seemed to be hinting at something.

He rubs my shoulder before getting up and leaving me here, drowning in my thoughts. He must be trying to warn me. Something is going on with a Noah and everyone knows about it but me.