When a god is killed their work must go to someone. I took a bit of a break, to care for my son, and my wife. But now I must resume my duties.

Mine, Orion's, my father's and my mothers. It is my responsibility. Humans are lucky. They don't have a purpose, really. They do whatever they want and then they die.

I have very clear cut purposes. I thought for a moment I could live like that. Enjoy my family. Enjoy my wife. Enjoy my son. My children.

But it's back to work I go. It's my worth.

And the world will literally stop if I don't do what I'm supposed to. I sit in the room, plunged in darkness, my eyes closed as I move things around. Light, darkness, war, night. They all fall in my jurisdiction now. I could take a break from war, but if I can't keep the shadows from the night from escaping—

"Slade?"

Monika edges inside the room. I don't look back. My fathers job was the night. He keeps the shadows where they belong. He brings the night and everything it stands for. I have never had to do this.

"I'm a bit busy right now," I murmur. Is it fighting me?

She floats in front of me with a concerned look. Our son rests in her arms.

She looks at my work. "This isn't war."

I shrug, continuing what I'm doing. I drag a shadow back to its place with a frown. They're strong.

Monika looks away for a moment. "He wants you. I...want you. You've been in this room for a while."

I wince, a shadow escaping my hold. I turn around with a frown.

"I—Monika, little wife I'm very busy right now and I can't stop what I'm doing to—" I pause before looking back. "If you need a break just leave him here."

She looks away. "And what about me?"

I clench my jaw. Doesn't she understand I'm doing this for us? Can't she just...do it alone? Just for a bit? Can't anyone just exist without needing me for even a little bit?

"What about you, Goddess? I don't have to parent you as well do I?"

Monika shrinks back, making me recoil. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm just a little stressed, Monika."

My wife nods and offers me a small smile. "I understand."

She doesn't. Still, she closes the door behind her as I sigh. I clench my jaw. I should get up. Go console her. I'm sure I...hurt her with my words. But the sun will rise soon.

I must continue my work. And so I do, the illusion of the half of the earth I'm working on illuminating once more in front of me, as I hunt down the shadows.

Time slips away from me, as I stay within my room, working, without stopping. I feel myself falling into some sort of trance, performing the same routines, day in, and day out.

Monika comes into the room quietly. Irritation seeps into my skin.

"Monika, I just told you—"

She purses her lips. I stop what I'm doing for a moment and look up at her. She's not looking at me, her gaze casts toward the wall. Her hair is longer.

How long have I been here?

"I'm sorry," she says softly. "I don't mean to bother you. I was wondering how you were."

It must not be too serious if Monika isn't reacting. Rather than distressed she seems...nervous. Probably about interrupting my work.

"Just working," I offer, looking back at the globe. The sun has risen. I take a break, shaking out my hands.

Monika nods, and says nothing, shifting in her place. "Well...alright. I'll leave you to it."

The door shuts with a thud. I frown and glance back for a moment and then focus back in on work. I've never been this agitated. It's probably the power. I would love to stop what I'm doing, and...Balance forbid even hold my son for but a bit but I am definition of busy and I just can't stop. If I had known his death would be so much work I would've tried to find another way.

"I couldn't help but over hear," Nathaniel calls behind me, twirling a dagger between his fingers: I don't think I've ever seen that. doesn't matter. We have so many weapons here maybe I just forgot.

"Hm," I grunt.

"Did you know it's been 3 years?"

I stop. "That's not possible."

Nathaniel chuckles. I finally look up. I'm covered in dust the whole room is covered in dust. My eyes adjust to the light.

"I thought you'd do a better job, Slade. But...now you're just a different kind of lousy father."

My brow dips. I scoff. It's always my fault isn't it? Im a god I guess; who's else's would it be? No matter what I do, I'm wrong. I try to protect them, I hurt them. I try to save them, I neglect them. At this point, why even try?

"Okay," I mutter. "Fine. Fine. You win, Nathaniel. You're right. I was a shitty father to you and your siblings. I'm shitty father to Zephyr. I'm a shitty husband, and I'm a shitty god. Is there...anything I'm forgetting, while I have you here?" I smile, and lean back into my chair.

Nathaniel is quiet for a moment. "You've been brushing her off. You know she's just...she's sad. I get that this is important, we all get it, Slade but..."

But? It's important and I can't leave or the world end but...fuck it. It's not like we live here too. Like I wouldn't be blamed for that too. If I just walked away, and let everything collapse for sake of love and family. Like that's the better choice.

It's not. It's just a different disappointed look. I can't win for losing. What does a God have to do to get a little appreciation around here?!

But I don't say that. There's really no need. He's my child after all, it's his responsibility to figure my life out for me. It's not his fault or Monika's that my life...sucks. It's the responsibility that comes with a being God. And I can't change it.

I can't shirk it. Maybe it was my mistake. Making a family at all. Clearly, the balance knew best. The reason we don't have families. Wives and children. Because we can't do both. I only had Monika and the children and time to take care of them and love them the best I could because I neglected my duties.

"Yes...fine. I understand you, Nathaniel. Go on now. I have work to do."

He doesn't leave as I turn around.

"She's crying. And she thinks you hear her and you're just ignoring her. We all do."

"Okay well I'm not. I'm just...focused."

Nathaniel cues up his next statement meant to crush me. "Why can't you delegate it? Surely I could help. Fallon too, we can all pitch in—"

Oh but that would be my fault too. Because then I'd be an irresponsible parent, forcing them to shoulder my responsibilities.

"No. I don't want that on your shoulders."

"Then...I mean what's the solution? I'm trying to help, Slade. We'd all help. We want you to come out of this room. Tell us what we need to do, to help you do that."

I stare down at my work. I do so miss the void. It was so...silent. I mean there was nothing, not even me. I was nonexistent and it felt so good. I almost wish I hadn't Orion just so he could send me back. Everything was simple there. You just...weren't.

Ha...

I stand. "Send Monika in for me will you?"

I have a responsibility. No. It would be easy if I had one. But I am a father and a husband, and a god. And I am tired. I've never really been tired.

I work until she comes in, and I set it aside and turn around. I smile.

"I'm sorry," I take her hand. "It's my fault I...got caught up."

Monika looks a bit different. I haven't seen her for so long. Really looked at her. The days just blurred by and I never stopped. She cut her hair. She's thinner too, for some reason.

Her hand slips out of mine. "I understand." She says softly, looking away. "You...have to what you have to do. It's your job."

I nod and smile. She's not as warm as she used to be either somehow.

"Thank you for understanding, Monika—"

She nods and backs away.

"Of course, Slade. I'll leave you to your work."

I can take a break for a day at the least I'm sure. It's long overdue. She's cold toward me. I have some apologies and making up to do.

"No, no I...I can take a break." I offer, taking her hand once more, trying to meet her eyes. "We should go out. And then I'll take Zephyr —"

Her hand slips from mine. Again. Twice in a row. My eye twitches.

"You should rest. You've been working nonstop. Don't worry about the kids. Or me. That doesn't matter. You need rest and...relaxation."

She turns around. She's walking. Why is she walking? I cock my head. And where is her I love you? We never leave without it. She insisted.

"I don't. I'm fine. I need rest from the job not from you all. I love you, Monika. I just...lost myself for a sec."

I stand following her out the door. She's so quiet too. She was so vibrant before. It's been a minute, I suppose since we've been together.

Fallon hands her Zephyr and walks away. She looks...different too. Everything is different. The only thing that's stayed the same is me.

I hold my hands out for Zephyr. Monika hands him to me. He's not as small as he used to be, but he's still a baby at least. He cries, flailing, reaching for his mother.

She takes him. "Sorry. He's just not used to you yet." She bounces him in his arms.

"I didn't realize..." I trail. Monika is gone by then halfway down the hall. I catch up to her. "It felt like a moment to me I didn't know."

"Of course." She smiles, laying Zephyr down. "It's not your fault. You were just doing your job. No one's mad at you."

But aren't they? I sigh, and sit down on the bed, pulling her into my grasp, trying desperately to catch her eyes.

"Look at me?" I ask softly.

Monika's eyes finally meet mine.

"Monika I..."

She smiles. "You don't have to apologize, Slade. I took care of everything. I won't burden you, we...we'll be fine. We all understand that you're under a lot of pressure. The world needs you."

"But you don't anymore?" I finish softly.

She closes her mouth with a sigh. "Wouldn't it be better for you? Easier? It's hard for you. Holding everything up. I'm just...I'm just trying to help."

My little wife. I neglected her the most, I think. But of course she takes it in stride. Monika is used to being neglected. I almost got her out of the habit but it looks like I didn't keep my end. It's normal she doesn't protest, normal for her.

Deep down, the one thing Monika is afraid of is being a burden. Being cast away because of it. Even if I never saw her again, she would probably stay here. Tend to the house and think of the times when I was the husband I promised I'd be.

"I'm sorry," I offer helplessly.

She shrugs. She gives me a smile but I can only describe it as injured. It's flings and we both know she doesn't mean it.

"Nothing to be sorry about."

And then there's silence. I don't know what to say. Nothing I do is good enough. I lose in every instance.

"Little wife you know I love you."

"...I know."

The pause hurts more than anything my parents ever did to me.

"I know it's not your fault." She whispers. "And I...I'm proud of you—"

"Stop. Just get upset at me, Monika. Screams at me, yell at me, curse at me. Hold me accountable. I've been shitty. I'm sorry."

Monika looks down. "Don't say that. You're just doing your job."

I wish she would take out on me. I think it eases the guilt of all.

But it seems I never fixed the underlying broken parts of Monika. We were just so happy they didn't come up. And now we're not. So I have to find another solution.

I kiss her head and step back into my office. Azareal stands there. He holds out his hand.

"What?"

"You know what I'm tried of this. Of this shitty little family you made without me. I'm tired of looking at it and I'm tired of looking at your face. So just...yknow just give me the power and I'm gonna go. I don't wanna stay here."

I stare at my son. "What are you talking about."

He scoffs. "I mean you're already incompetent as the god of war. No use having two extra powers to fail at. Give it to me. I need something to do until I come back and kill you."

I look away. "I can't give you that power Azreal."

"Of course you can. You gave those humans your power. Give it to me, Slade." He demands, stepping closer.

I lick my lips. "Azareal."

"Father," he whispers, looking away. "Just give it to me."

My eyes stint. Is this what I'm reduced to? Burdening my abandoned son with powers I can't control? Asking him to save me."

"I don't want to," I whisper. "You don't deserve the burden. None of you do."

Azareal looks me in my eyes. "It's not like I have anything else. I could never fit here, and you can't make it. Not even Monika can. I've done irredeemable things. Let me do this one thing."

Damn it! Shouldn't I be strong enough? Shouldn't I be able to do everything I must without hurting the people I love? What is the use of being a god if I can't?

"Everyone has been so...nice. It was nice. Seeing a family. But it's not gonna last like this. And there is no break. We both know there's no break from this,"

I screw my eyes tight.

"You are my child. It's not your responsibility —"

"It's not yours either. But somebody has to do it. Come on. Come on...Dad. Let me be your son. Just this once."

I open my eyes, touching his hand. "You were always my son. You've done regrettable, misguided things, Azareal. Terrible things. But so have I."

I let the power flow from my hands and into his. "But you don't have to leave. Stay. Let me at least take care of you."

The power finishes transferring quickly. It always does between blood.

He turns around. "Take care of your real family. Thanks for trusting me, Dad."

And then he poof away, before I can pull him back. Before I can even hug him.

"Thank you for saving me," I whisper. I'm not sure where he'll go. Off earth most likely. I glance out the window. When did it become night? A star twinkles in the sky. One that wasn't there before. I smile.

"I'm proud of you."