"What is she doing here?" Mia rolled her eyes at the sight of Bella's bag on the floor as she dropped hers on the couch.

"She's getting ready for class." I said, trying not to get into it too much.

"That's not what I meant, Lukas!" Mia raised her voice as she approached me. "What is she doing in my apartment! I don't want to see her!" Her loud voice made me turn around to meet her as she squeezed her eyes at me.

"I live here too Mia! She's still my girlfriend." I raised my voice to not let her walk over me, as if that was ever going to happen. I took the eggs off the plate to make sure I couldn't let them burn, cause by the look on my sisters face this was going to end in a heated argument.

"I don't care Lukas, she needs to get out, now! I wanted to come home and study peacefully! But now the day's already ruined cause she's here!" Mia scoffed as she rolled her eyes at me and the way she was acting now was as if they were never friends and it was going to crush Isabella. Fuck this!

"What the fuck is your problem!" I said, angerly throwing the fork I was stirring the eggs with in the sink. "She's your friend!"

"Not anymore!" She was quick to answer as she coldly pulled up her shoulders as if she couldn't care less.

I shook my head and pushed my hands through my hair. This was so frustrating, the entire situation so messed up. "I don't get why you're taking it out on her Mia." I sighed.

"Cause she's a lying backstabbing bitch, that's why!" She yelled, rolling her eyes again, her fists clenched as if she was about to punch something. This is not fair! And so out of line!

"I asked her to not tell you! If anyone you should be mad at me! Not her! For fucks sake Mia. We fought about this and she always took your side, trying to convince me to tell you. She wanted to do the right thing!" I yelled, my entire body stiff with frustration. Why can't she fucking see that!

"Well, she didn't! You lied, she lied! Everyone lied!" She yelled again, slamming both her hands flat on the kitchen counter.

"Then why aren't you fucking mad at me!" I straight on yelled, shaking my head.

"Oh I'm mad! I'm fucking pissed at you too! But I can't cut ties with family, can I, not when we live together! Poisonous friends on the other hand, those I can get rid of." She rolled her eyes once more and at every word coming out of her mouth I got more frustrated.

"Do you even hear yourself talking! Mia fucking hell she's a great friend! The fucking best one you'll ever get, and yes she made a mistake by letting me talk her into it but she doesn't want to hurt you! Trust me!"

"That's the thing, I don't fucking trust you, either of you! Not anymore!" The sound of her voice even louder than it already was.

"Mia she's just as upset about it as y-"

"Who's fucking side are you on Lukas?" Fucking hell let me talk! Mia cut me off, throwing her hands in the air, before crossing them in front of her chest.

"Quite frankly, her side, cause you're really acting like a bitch right now!" There, I said it. And by the way she was asking I wasn't even feeling guilty about it anymore.

"Unbelievable. You're still picking her side, when I'm the one who got cheated on by my boyfriend and screwed over by everyone I care about! How are you still on her fucking side!"

"Because I fucking love her with everything I have! I know that's hard for you to believe as you only care about yourself right now!" I yelled, spewing the words at her, the look on her face the clear image of shock and betrayal.

"Screw you Lukas!! You don't even know what love is! All you care about is screwing her. You'll get sick of her sooner or later!" I shook my head at her insults, breathing in an out to not completely lose my shit here.

"Shut the fuck up Mia! You know that's not true!" I held my hands in the air in front of her.

"No, Fuck you! I'm done with this shit! I'm done with the both of you!" She yelled, tears starting at the corners of her fuming eyes. "I don't want to see her here anymore! And if I do I'll make sure to make her time here a living fucking hell! I don't want to see her face, I don't want to hear her voice, and don't want to smell her stench! I'm fucking done!" Mia yelled, tears rolling down her cheeks. At that moment I saw Bells, standing in the doorway in her colorful lilac sweater, the color on her face white as a sheet as tears stained her cheeks. Shit, now I'm really fucking pissed!

"Do you see what you have done!" I yelled at Mia, while walking towards Bella, her eyes directed at the floor. The moment I put my hand on her shoulders she shrugged it off and I felt like I was hit by a truck, a lump stuck at my throat in an instant. "You're a fucking bitch Mia, she doesn't deserve to be treated like this!" I yelled, trying again to put my arm around my girl, but she stepped away, leaving me shaking my head and trying to catch my breath at her rejection. Fuck this! I want to fucking punch something!

"Oh, and I do?" Mia yelled turning around to face us, scoffing at the sight of Bella. "And you! Wasn't my text fucking clear enough! I don't want to hear or see you! So, get the fuck out of my apartment! Now!" She yelled, stepping closer towards us to really get the message clear this time.

"Mia!" I gritted trough my teeth, warning her not to say anything else. I saw Bella biting her bottom lip, desperately trying to hold in all of her emotions, completely shutting down when backed into a corner.

"The both off you assholes deserve each other!" Mia shook her head, scoffing at the air as she walked out of the kitchen and she even had the audacity to bump into Bella's shoulder on her way out. Fucking child.

As soon as I heard her bedroom door slam shut I turned around towards Bella, who looked to be frozen in thought, not even the touch of my hands on her shoulders could shake her out of it.

"Baby. Are you okay?" I asked her, realizing how stupid that question sounded. Of course she's not okay, you fucking idiot who am I kidding, she has tears rolling down her face and she holding her breath. "Bells?" I asked again, lowering myself to her height so our faces aligned, and it became impossible for her to ignore me.

"I-I'm fine." She shook her head, clearly lying. She didn't even have to stutter to give herself away, it was clear as day.

"No you're not!" I said, trying to pull her in my arms but I couldn't move her as she backed away in the opposite direction. "Don't, Baby." I whispered, the lump in my throat making it hard for me to speak, her rejection hurting every part of me.

"I'm gonna go. I have class." She said, wiping away the tears from her cheeks with the sleeve of her sweater.

"What? I'm not letting you leave like this." I shook my head at the thought of letting her walk out the door like this all upset. You're not leaving.

"Lukas, I'm fine." She whispered, not even looking at me and it was killing me that she was shutting me out like that while I knew she was hurt, deeply hurt.

"You're clearly not, babe, at least eat something...I'm not letting you go like this!" I breathed heavily, trying to convince her and doing so my voice even cracked with worry. I pushed a hand through my hair as I stood there, not knowing what to do.

"I'm not hungry anymore." She shook her head and pulled up her shoulders.

"Bells, please don't lea-"

"I'm not hungry and I'm fine! I have a class to go to and I rather not fail this one and screw up my entire future even more!" She yelled at me and helplessly I backed away, swallowing hard as I watched her crumble down in front of me.

I stepped back, my backside hitting the counter. "Please don't shut me out." I whispered, shaking my head at the thought of how distant she was, how cold her words were.

"I'm not shutting you out, I'm going now!" She shrugged her shoulders like it was nothing, like I was nothing and I can't even describe how much that cut into me. I had to bite my lip not to say anything as she turned around and grabbed her bag from the floor. But watching her make her way to the door, dragging her feet over the floor, I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't watch her just leave like that.

I followed her, quickened my pace, until I caught up with her, just fast enough to catch her before slamming the door behind her. I held the door, forcing her to turn around and meet me, the makeup underneath her eyes ran out over her cheeks, caused by heartbreak and tears. I took a deep breath, the sight of her upset like this, slowly and painfully killing me "Wait, Bells, please... Tell me we're okay." I pulled up my eyebrows as I took another deep breath.

"We are." She shrugged her shoulders again, again like it meant nothing to her, completely cold and emotionless, completely shut down.

I felt my own emotions, which were once cold, heat up and scrunch my face, my chest tightening with fear as her words made me afraid for us. "Babe, seriously..."

"What do you want me to say?" She said, her voice distant and her mind clearly not where it was yesterday.

As frustration itched at my fingertips I threw them through my hair, ruffling up my strands before rubbing my hand over my face. "That we're fucking okay, Bells."

"I just did." She shook her head, pulling her lip between her teeth.

"Yeah, but it sounded like a complete lie! Please, don't act so distant around me." I begged her, seriously considering toask her again on my knees.

"I'm not! I just have to go to class." She lightly raised her voice, like she was annoyed. The sadness in her voice replaced by annoyance. Baby. She wanted to be left alone, to deal with her problems by herself, but I just didn't think that was such a good idea, and even more so I wanted her in my arms, to make sure we were okay, not just let her slip away without knowing how she really felt about us.

"That's a dumb excuse and you know it!" She sighed deeply at my words, and it cut through me more than I thought it would, the insecurity of her feelings nagging at every inch of me.

"Thanks, for calling me dumb Lukas, really what I need right now!" Aargh women!

"That's not what I meant!" I shook my head, my chest tightening even more at the way this conversation was going. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Just come back after class so we can talk about this?"

"I think I'm going to study for the rest of the day." She said, calmly but still too cold not to hurt my feeling.

"You can study here?" I said, more so to make sure that she would come back.

"Lukas don't be so suffocating! Please!" She quietly raised her voice, shocking me to my core. suffocating? Am I being suffocating? Shit that's not what I meant. I really didn't mean to. I just didn't want to let her walk out the door with this gnawing feeling of something being wrong between us, of the possibility of her having doubts about us.

"Please." I reached out to her through the door, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "I need to see you tonight. I'm dying here, not knowing how you feel."

"I don't know." She shrugged her shoulders and my heart sank beneath my shoes; I wasn't even wearing shoes. Fuck. "I just need to be left alone today. Don't worry. We're okay." She said but even hearing her say it wasn't comforting enough to stop the shaking of my veins and the spinning motion of my stomach. What did I do wrong here? "I'll call you before I go to bed." She gave me half a smile, my feelings doubting whether it was sincere of or not. Don't look too much into it, everything is fine, she's gonna call.

She was ready to turn around and leave me when I realized she couldn't possible call me as I still had her phone. "Wait, your phone, I still have it." I said, clearly grasping her at attention as she turned back to face me. A part of me wished I hadn't said anything, which would have given her no choice to come back and retrieve her phone, but she also couldn't call me and I wouldn't be able to reach her if she was too scared to come back here because of how rude Mia has been to her. "I'll go get it." I said, quickly going into my room, to grab the phone from my pants and when I passed the dining table on my way back to the door I also grabbed my car keys.

"Thanks." She nodded, barely saying anything as she took the phone from me.

Aarrgh why is this so freaking complicated, why do I feel like I messed up big time, that this is almost a goodbye. She just wanted to be left alone and I respected that, well maybe I didn't completely but I just couldn't handle the uncertainty of her feelings. "Bells." I sighed as she and I both stood there. "At least take my car." I whispered, desperately pushing my car keys in her hand.

"Lukas I-"

"I'm not letting you walk all the way to campus by yourself. Not a chance." I shook my head, my words strong and convincing as they left my mouth. "Take my car, I'm gonna go to the shop today to get my bike and have the tires fixed anyway." I smiled at her. "Just be careful." I said, leaning in to kiss her on the cheek, preparing myself for rejection, but she didn't this time, she didn't pull away, so I let my lips linger on her just a little longer.

"Bye." She said, when her gaze met mine again, her eyes all teared up. Don't say goodbye, this isn't goodbye.

"I love you." I whispered as my hand slid down her arm to her hand, her hand falling away from mine as she walked away. She didn't even say it back! Fuck! I yelled to myself as I slammed the door shut as hard as I possibly could and it felt like the apartment was shaking, a picture frame bouncing of the wall and shattering onto the floor. "Fuck!" I yelled into the void in front of me as the floor beneath me seemed to disappear. "Fuck!" My voice fading into a sob as tears found their way into my eyes. I'm not going to fucking cry! I need to be angry right now!

My eyes shifted to Mia's bedroom door and without knocking, I could care less about knocking right now, I stormed into her bedroom, her bloodshot and distraught eyes meeting mine as she sat behind her desk.

"I'm fucking done with your shit Mia!" I said, smashing one of her pencil holders onto the floor. She shrieked, sliding her chair back, to get away from me. "I'll never fucking forgive you if she leaves me for this!"

"What the-" She yelled, completely surprised by how I was acting. I wasn't surprised, she had it coming, continuing to hurt Bella when I made clear this wasn't her fault.

"What are you trying to do to her huh?" I yelled, throwing a book of hers onto the floor with force. I needed this, if I couldn't love, I needed to be angry and Bells wouldn't let me love her. "Are you really trying to push her into a damn hole!"

"She deserves it!" Mia stood up, pushing her chair back further until it fell over. Mia was little, but she never was scared of an argument.

"She doesn't deserve any of this shit! She has been through hell!! And when she's finally in a good place you make it your life mission to put her through it again. What the fuck is wrong with you. This isn't like you Mia!" I yelled, clenching my fists together as some sort of outlet. I wasn't going to tell Mia about Bella's parents, Bells told me not to tell her and at this point Mia didn't need to know cause she was capable of using it against her or saying something hurtful about it.

"What are you talking about? What could possibly be so bad I'm not allowed to be mad at her when she stabs me in the fucking back. Huh!" Mia pushed at my chest and I tried to stay solid, not moving an inch.

"It doesn't matter, but you're not just being mad, you're being ridiculous. Cut her some slack! It's not her fucking fault Jason got sick of you! I would too if you acted like this bitchy version of you all the time." The words left my mouth before I could stop them, let alone think them trough. I didn't mean them, any of them, but Mia must have thought differently as her face want from angry to deeply hurt.

"Get out!" She said, pointing her finger to the door. "Get out of my fuckling room!" She burst out in tears while she slammed her hands flat at my chest.

"I'm sorry!" I tried to set things straight, but I knew I had said too much now, that I took all my anger out on her, while I shouldn't have. Mia was hurt too. We were all hurt in some way.

I shook my head while leaving her room, only to go back to the kitchen, anger still boiling at my fingertips. I scoffed when I saw the cooking pan with scrambled eggs, reminding me of how happy Bells looked when she asked me to make breakfast and I gave in willingly. I wished I appreciated the moment more, the tiny freckles on her face, the smell of her hair, the way my T-shirt hugged her body and showed off her legs. I wish I had told her again and again how much she meant to me while I held her, cause now it all seemed so far away.

I still needed an outlet and as the happy memories of this morning taunted me, I grabbed the cooking pan and threw it against the wall as I let out a scream before dropping to my knees, tears stinging my eyes and filling my uncertain thoughts. What the fuck am I going to do if I lose her!? When I lose her...

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❤️ Hi Loves! I know I know, another sad and angry one, still hope you guys enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing this chapter.

🤩 Please, inspire me with your thoughts and comments, I basically live for them but I'm sure you all know by now.

Stay healthy, stay safe!

Love, Jane

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