I was still waiting for Lukas in the cold on that damn bench when I saw Zach on the other side of the road. He was closing the café and when he turned around his wary eyes met mine. He lowered his gaze towards the concrete, regret displayed in everything his did. He put his hands in the pockets of his jacket and looked up at me one last time before walking away, half a smile the last thing he gave me. Another person I've hurt...

Guilt and regret washed over me, but my heart was purely filled with worry when it was seven thirty and still no sign to be seen of Lukas. Maybe be doesn't want to talk after all, now that we need to talk more than ever. Dammit, what if something happened, he's never late... At most he's always early... Crap! My eyes widened and wandered off to the glass door of the café...

No! No! He couldn't have, he's early but not that early... No this can't...he can't... If he saw who know what he... God I need to... As panic filled my veins at the thought of him possible seeing Zach kiss me, I couldn't think straight, only words but no sentences. With shaking hands, I grabbed my phone to find him in my favorites. It went straight to voicemail the first time, just like the seven times I tried to call him after that.

"No no no..." I desperately said out loud... This isn't happening! I need to explain what he saw, again. This time something did happen and it's all my fault. I cannot imagine a life without him, I just can't... I should have kept Zach at a distance, dumb fool that I am... My need for making new friends came in the way of the best friend I was ever going to have.

There was no other way to know if I still had both best friends in my life than to walk back to Lukas and Mia's place, on my leg even though it was going to sting like a bitch. I started walking, and it took me longer than I expected because of the limp in which I was forced to walk. The longest fucking thirty minutes of my life! I was out of breath from both walking and the panic pinching my throat shut.

I opened the door and walked straight to Lukas's room, passing Mia who was sitting on the couch in the process. Nothing, he's not here, where the hell is he! Dammit! I grunted and when I turned to Mia she was looking at me with wide eyes.

"Oh oh." She just said as she looked at me with a parted mouth. I didn't blame her, I basically stormed into the place. Defeated I stumbled to the couch and slumped down. A deep sigh left my lungs before I buried my face in my hands, panic now fully taking over all of my emotions. "Hey hey hey, what's going on? Where is my brother?" She said, her voice laced with worry.

"I was hoping you would know?" I looked up from my hands, probably looking like a mess and when I met the frown on her face it looked like she was just as surprised as I was that he wasn't here too.

She shook her head, hopping closer to me on the couch as she caringly threw an arm around me. "What do you mean? He came to pick you up, right?" She frowned again.

I shook my head and looked up to meet the worry on her face. "He never showed." I grimaced, my face turning into a crying mess once again.

"What!" She raised her voice. "What hap-"

"Mia, I made a mistake!" I shook my head, bringing my hands to my face once more to hide. How was I going to tell her without losing her too! He's her brother, she'll always pick his side... No I don't want her to pick sides... Her arm around me disappeared as she sat back into the couch, watching me with questioning eyes. "Zach kissed me, and I let him... I didn't realize it unti-"

"What? You did what!" She yelled with disbelief. "Until let me guess, until it was too late huh?" She squeezed her eyes at me, and I suddenly didn't feel comfortable being here. She looked away into the room, trying to make up her mind. "Do you like Zach?" She said emotionless.

"As a friend!" I was quick to reply because that was the truth. "I knew he liked me but I thought he was happy enough with us being friends."

"What the hell!! You knew Zach had feelings? And you still thought being around him was a good idea?! Bella I'm so fucking mad at you! How could you do that to my brother!" She stood up from the couch yelling as I felt the hot tears come down my cheeks. I was desperate for someone to understand, but how could they... It is what it is and it is bad...

"I didn't know what I was thinking! I quit, I quit my job to stay away from him. I can't risk Lukas over a friendship with Zach." I shook my head, falling back into the couch as Mia's disgusted look made me feel like absolute shit.

"Wait you what?" She widened her eyes as if she didn't hear me right. "You love that job! You need that job to pay for college. What are you going to do!" She crossed her arms in front of her chest her gaze less angry.

I shrugged my shoulders at her, her face going from bitterness to worry in a second. "I know I just love Lukas more than anything, what do I care about classes, or money... I can live without them, but I can't live without him Mia! I just can't! School is the last thing I care about right now!" I raised my voice, desperately trying to hold on to the idea of us being together.

"Girl you're in deep... You should have thought about that when you were kissing Zach don't you think." Mia cocked an eyebrow at me, her arms still crossed. She's so angry at me right now I want to cry my eyeballs out, I can't lose both of them, please no.

"I know! I told you I made a mistake! On top of that I think he saw...I think Lukas saw the kiss and that's why he didn't show..." I frowned, I sobbed, I cried all at once.

"What!?" She yelled at first before flopping down on the couch next to me, her face pure disappointment. "Ppfff Isabella, I know my brother can be an asshole sometimes, but he doesn't deserve that. I can't ff-ing believe you. I defended you to him earlier, saying you would never cheat and then you do this. Do I even know my best friend?" She had tears in the corners of her eyes, her face filled with only worry.

"I didn't cheat, please I don't have feelings for Zach, I know it's wrong, I know but I need to explain to him that it meant nothing to me. Mia I'm worried! Where is he!?" I pleaded, my hands shaking as I wanted to throw them in the air. This not knowing what here or how was sucking all of my energy out of me.

"How the hell would I know!" She huffed, the tone in her voice still fuming.

"I tried to call him; he didn't pick up. Mia please call him?" I looked at her with pleading eyes, the disappointment on her face crushing my heart even more.

"Why would I do that Bella! If he didn't pick up it means he doesn't want to talk to you, for which ,and I hope you get this, he has every right. You screwed up!" She shrugged her shoulder, looking away from me into the room.

No no no, I need to tell him, I need to know where he is! "What if something happened, what if he got into a car accident. If anything happened to him, I don't know what I'm gonna do!" I grimaced again at the thought of losing him for real. I would die if anything happened to him now, or any other time for that matter! I wanted to internally scream, hell I wanted to scream it out loud.

"Don't even say that!" She frowned her brows at me realizing something could have happened, knowing exactly how his is when he's upset.

"Please Mia, I need to know he's safe at least. Please!" I begged her, the feeling in my throat telling me that if I spoke again, I would choke. My heart was pounding, and my hands were still shaking. I was on the edge of and anxiety attack at the thought of something happening to him. Please, please Mia.

She shook her head squeezing her eyes at me. "Fine, I will call him... But if he doesn't want to talk to you, you're not getting the phone." She bit at me while taking her phone and going through her contacts.

I was anxious as I saw her bring the phone to her ear, waiting for her to hear his voice. Please Luke pick up, be safe, please. All I could think about was a possible car accident, that that's the reason he didn't pick up, I was worried sick, and I felt my heart skip a beat when Mia said his name. Thank god.

"Lukas, where are you?" She said softly into the phone. "Yes of course I care, tell me where you are." She said again with softness in her tone. "No you're not driving like that Lukas! Fucking hell have you learned nothing." She shook her head. "I know you're hurt but you need to talk to her Luke it's not what it loo-" She was shaking her head and rolling her eyes and my chest was hurting by the second I had to watch it. It was nerve wrecking waiting for her to hand over the phone to me, I need to talk to him, tell him what happened. "No, you listen to me! Get your fucking act together. This is not a way to deal with your problems! Don't you even think about getting in that car. Do you want to die!?" She was yelling now, and her words were piercing a stake through my heart over and over again, the thought of something happening to him swirling through my mind was haunting me. "No, don't say that! Don't say that to your damn sister Lukas! I fucking care about you!" Her eyes suddenly went wide. "You son of a bitch." She yelled into the phone as she took it away from her ear. "He hung up! You're in deep shit Bella!" She yelled at me now, worry and anger in her tone.

"What? Where is he! Mia tell me!" I begged her. I could hear by the sound of the one-way conversation that he wasn't okay.

"Bella, I'm fucking mad at you! This is your fault! But I'm not going to let him make a mistake that he will regret for the rest of his life! He's had enough of those." She desperately raised her voice as she stood up, making her way to the door. "Plus, he's black out drunk and I'm not letting him drive like that or he's going to kill him!" She started putting her shoes on. He's drunk? I felt my head hang low at the thought of him getting drunk because of me, at the thought of him driving drunk because of me. Crap this is bad... "I fucking care about him, how could he not know that!" She muttered to herself as she rushed to tie the laces on her shoes. "Bella! Are you coming or not?" She snapped her head at me as she grabbed her jacket, pulling me out of my head.

"Do you know where he is?" I asked astound, not knowing whether to jump up from the couch with joy or to crawl away in the corner like a scared animal.

"I know exactly where he is..." She rolled her eyes while she opened the front door. "He's at Neon & Nights, dragged him out of there more than twice last year. It's where he goes to get wasted. Idiot." She growled while rolling her eyes and my heart dropped. He's really getting drunk, I don't know if I can face him when he is. If he's anything like he was at the party, I'm scared. "Come on!" She nodded towards the door. "You have the honors this time!" She said, her tone quite bitter and if I wasn't anxious before I was now. I got up from the couch, wiping away the tears from my face. At least he's safe. "I'm fucking mad at the both of you right now, both of you!" She bit as I passed her in the doorway as she locked the door behind us. "He needs to listen before acting like a dick and regretting everything afterwards and you, Bella what have you done..." She shook her head, disappointment in the way her voice faded out in the end and I felt the tears well up again as we walked through the hallway.

I shook my head, my hands still shaking as I followed her outside. "I know it was wrong, don't you think I realize that. Mia don't turn your back on me please. I need my best friend!" I pulled at her arm to turn her around.

"Bella he's my brother what do you expect me to do? Congratulate you on breaking his heart!" She instantly snapped and me, the lump in my throat exploding at the sight of her anger. I put my hands on my mouth, trying to hold back words, sobs, anything. "I'm helping you now, aren't I!" She squeezed her eyes at me before she started walking again... The walk home made my leg worse, but I tried to keep up with her, walking strong as I bit my tongue, biting away the pain. She looked back to see if I was following her and when she saw the pain on my face she stopped, her face worried and soft. "See... And that's why I'm mad at him too... Does it still hurt?" She pulled up her brows with concern and I nodded. She shook her head in return and sighed deeply. "I'm sorry, I'm just in the middle of this all and I don't know what to do." She sighed while grabbing my arm to take the pressure of my leg.

"Be angry at me, I deserve it, but just walk a little slower." I chuckled, not even knowing why I thought it was funny. I'm going crazy.

"Sorry." She chuckled too. "You're lucky your ass doesn't have to walk..." She pulled an eyebrow up with mischief.

"No no no Mia, we're not taking Lukas's bike!" I was scared. I was comfortable sitting on the back with him, because I can hold on to him for dear life but with Mia? If she flies off, I do too. Hell no, I rather walk.

"Did that kiss with Zach have you completely lose your mind." She looked at me as if I had in fact lost it, I agreed. "I'm not getting on that thing, not in a million years. That's death on fucking wheels." She widened her eyes at me as she pushed the button of the elevator while letting go of me. "Ben gave me his car so I didn't have to walk here." She smirked.

"Oh how generous of him". I had to hold back my smirk, now was not the time.

"Yeah we'll talk about that later when we have fixed that nonsense between you and Lukas. First let me be mad at you for a second okay, I'm trying my best to be a good friend and a good sister at the same time." She rushed dramatically when the elevator doors finally opened and she stepped in.

I was already on edge, scared to face Lukas, a drunk Lukas on top of that, I was not about to get into a dreadful elevator to make me lose it for real. "You know what? I'm gonna take the stairs." I said, almost breathless, already halfway turning towards the staircase.

"Don't bitch now, you chicken, get in." She pulled me by my arm as the elevator doors closed behind me.

"Mia what the hell! Now is not the time to get a panic frenzy! Elevators make me uneasy!" I yelled before I knew I was raising my voice.

"Yeah yeah. You can suffer a little... No time to whine." She rolled her eyes at me. Okay she's still mad. What the fuck did I expect. Jesus I want to get out of here now. I tried to compose myself, not to freak out over telling Lukas, or this damn elevator. This metal cage was nothing compared to how mean Lukas can get when he's drunk.

***

❤️ Hi Loves! I'll keep it brief... Double trouble... I didn't want you hanging on to this so there's another chapter.

💡 thoughts and theories on this chapter? How was Mia?

⭐️ VOTE if you're already manically scrolling to the next one 🥴