I sat there looking into the smoldering wood surrounded by flames, my eyes pinned on it, but my thoughts somewhere else. I can't believe she wanted to see me! I can't fucking believe I didn't know because I broke my phone. I'm such an idiot... Dammit. "Mia, has she called back already?" I turned to my sister who had been looking at her phone for the past thirty minutes.

She shook her head. "No, she hasn't... I left her several texts... They won't deliver." I frowned my brows at her statement. What do you mean they won't deliver? "Maybe her phone is off?" She whispered as she noticed my concerned frown.

Not being able to reach her and being more than three hours away from her was killing me. I sighed, rubbing my face with frustration as my stomach was filled with worry and anticipation. I need to see her. I need to tell her my phone was broken. That I would have showed up without a doubt... "I can't take the wait anymore..." I sighed, pushing my hands trough my hair. "I need to go back home." I stated and my mom's face fell with disappointment. "I'm sorry... I know it's Thanksgiving, but I can't sit here and do nothing knowing I can fix it right now." I addressed my mom whose expression turned into a smile.

"Lukas, honey it's okay... If that's what you need to do than do it." Mom smiled at me and it reassured me more than she could ever imagine.

My dad leaned into her, giving me a genuine smile. "Your mom is right... We'll make up for missed time on Christmas. You just make sure you'll be able to bring her." He nodded towards the house, granting me permission to leave early.

"Thanks. I hope so!" I rushed, throwing the blanket dad put over us earlier off me with a sense of urgency.

"I'll drive Mia home tomorrow, don't worry." My dad offered instantly, making Mia's face turn into a frown.

"What no, dad! I'm going with him; something doesn't feel right." She shook her head, getting up as well, quickly making her way to our parents. "I'm sorry." She said while pulling mum into a bearhug.

"Christmas?" Mom asked, hoping to see more of us then, more in terms of time and probably more in terms of people...

"Yes, we'll make it up." She whispered as she went to give dad a hug.

"Mia why don't you already take our stuff and put it in the car." I addressed her, nodding towards the house. She frowned at first but then she realized I just wanted a moment with them. As I watched Mia walk away from the firepit I turned to mom and dad.

I rubbed the back of my head nervously, not knowing how to say whatever I needed to say for a long time. "I'm so sorry for how I have acted the last couple of years." I shook my head with disappointment, angry at myself for the way I acted out, giving them a hard time while all they tried to do was keep me out of trouble.

"Luke, it's o-" My mom smiled at me satisfied, trying to interrupt me but I needed to say this.

"No mom, it's not... I went to Logan's grave last week..." I let my head hang low until I felt dads hand on the side of my arm trying to comfort me.

"Oh honey, why? Why torture yourself like that?" The worry in her voice clearly there as dad's hand held on to me more.

"Advice? To deal with it... I acted out because I didn't know how to behave, because I blamed myself for what happened every single day, because I never understood why I got to live, and he didn't." I started, my voice quickly holding a ray of sad emotions.

"Son it wasn't your fault." My dad shook his head, his voice sincere. He really thinks so?

I shook my head, still not believe there was nothing I could have done differently, because I could have. "I should have taken his keys. I shouldn't have been so arrogant to think I could still drive..."

"You made a mistake, a poor choice of judgement. Everyone does at one point in their life. Multiple times." I nervously started pacing up and down before them as my dad spoke.

"Not every mistake ends up taking someone's life." I shook my head before looking up at the clear sky of stars.

"He didn't say no to you driving his car Lukas, he knew you were drunk too." Mom added, trying to convince me I wasn't to blame, but I was. I should have known better.

"That still doesn't mean he deserved to die. I killed my best friend and I was never truly able to process it. How am I supposed to live with myself..." Tears started to sting at the corners of my eyes and before I knew it mom had gotten up before quickly throwing her arms around me. She held me tight, dad joining her shortly after while I broke down, showing my true colors to them for the first time in years.

"Sssh Luke it's okay..." My dad said hugging me as I cried on mom's shoulder.

"I'm sorry I never talked about it..." I shook my head, the sobs making it hard to breathe.

"We're sorry we didn't try harder." Dad said as his voice broke like mine, making me realize we truly are two of a kind, we always had been.

"You did all you could and that's what I wanted to say... You both did everything to help me, but I was too closed off to see it and I'm sorry." I apologized while dad patted my back in comfort and appreciation.

Mom pushed me back gently to look at me before her hands wiped away the tears on my face and I let her. "You don't have to be tough for us Lukas. We raised you and we wouldn't have wanted you to be any different than who you truly are. You're a good person, son, brother and a very good boyfriend and Bella knows that too." She smiled at me and I never felt so loved before. I always had been, but now I could accept it.

"I hope so." I felt my bottom lip tremble as I looked at my mom and I felt dad's eyes on me.

His hand reached out to squeeze my shoulder. "It's going to be alright. And we're here for you, always!" Dad's words put a smile on my face as I nodded at him. "Now go see your girl and talk to her." He playfully pushed his fist against my shoulder while his words made mom chuckle.

"I love you both!" I smiled before giving both of them a hug and saying goodbye.

I rubbed my face on my way to the car, but it was clear that I had been crying. I flopped into my seat as Mia was already sitting on the passenger side. "Are you okay?" She immediately asked when she saw the redness surrounding my eyes.

"I'm getting there." I turned on the ignition before taking off, on our way to see Bella. The ride home was silent as the car was filled with thoughts. "Has she answered yet?" I asked Mia when we were almost at campus.

"No, and my messages have still not been read or delivered." Mia shook her head and I could tell by the tone of her voice that she was worried too.

"We'll be there soon." I gave her half a smile while the thought of Bells being unreachable squeezed my heart with unease.

"Drop me off at our place. You need to go talk to her alone. This is something between you and her and I'll be home whenever you need me if things go good or bad." She smiled at me, trying to give me a sense of comfort but the worry on her face only raised my stress levels even more. Or bad? I don't want it to go bad...

I looked at her a little distraught. "Okay... I'm just hoping for the best here... I'm worried about her Mia, it's unlike her not to answer and it's the middle of the night... Is it a good idea to show up at her door now?" I shrugged my shoulders, second guessing my impulsiveness.

"Lukas, the way she was when I left her earlier... I bet she wanted nothing more than to see you... Middle of the night or not." She turned her head to me once more, smiling comfortingly but all I wanted to do was smack myself on the forehead for sitting in the car then, like a scared duck, afraid to get rejected. I gripped the steering wheel really tight, trying to get rid of some frustration but that was only going to happen when I was at her door, saying hi.

After dropping Mia off at our apartment the anticipation of seeing her, facing her, possibly if everything went right hugging her, was killing me. And it kept building each time I came a streetlight closer. I was so blinded by my thoughts I didn't notice I was running out of gas until the light started flickering. Dammit! I was suddenly pulled out of my thoughts as they now needed to focus on finding a gas station

I watched the gas station, just a block from her apartment, light up the street with bright white light. I filled up the car, distraught and lost in thought with the memory of me walking into a similar station when she was on her period. She was surprised when I went in and came back with a bunch of stuff and chocolate. I chuckled at the look on her face back then, giving anything to see it once more.

I parked the car away from the pump before debating on whether or not to go in and grab something for her. I wanted to see her as soon as possible but on the other hand it would only take two minutes and I knew showing up with food would be a good way to start conversation. Okay, two minutes. I gave in as the benefits of showing up with chocolate outweighed the ones of showing up without.

I walked in going straight for the aisle with sweets, my eyes looking for her favorite salted caramel chocolate. Where the hell, are they? I cussed under my breath when I couldn't see what I was looking for right away. I pushed a hand through my hair with frustration until my eye spotted them at the bottom but before I could crouch down, I was startled by a noise, as if something fell onto the floor of this silent station.

I looked around to see where the noise came from, only to see something odd in the aisle next to mine on the other side of the passage to the register. I looked but was instantly confused at what I saw. I noticed a small figure quickly making its way down the aisle, leaving a box of something on the floor. Shit... I squeezed my eyes trying make sense of the sight. That looks like my logo on that hoodie, but I only made one of those...What? Oh fuck! "Bella?" I yelled after the person trying to get out of the station and I instantly knew when my eyes fell on a pair of lilac high tops. It's her, it can't be anyone else... I followed her outside as I watched her quicken her pace. Why is she getting away from me? Hell, this time I'm not going to give up and regret it later. "Bells!" I yelled as she ran into the parking lot near my car. She looked back to see me follow and I frowned at the fact she was wearing sunglasses in the middle of the night. Is she drunk? She ran, not watching her step and before she knew it, she tripped, scraping her knees against the concrete and her cries of pain went through marrow and bones.

"Shit, are you okay?" I rushed over to her with worry. I reached out to her from behind joining her on the concrete as my hand tried to comfort her at her back, the hoodie soft under my palm. She sat on her knees, looking down with her hand on her thighs, not saying a single word. "Hey, why did you run away?" I whispered, glad that she was letting me touch her but worried sick at how she was behaving, and how she almost shuddered under my hand.

I looked down at her hands noticing her knuckles were bruised and that was most definitely not caused my falling just now. What the fuck. I thought while trying to grab her hand, but she pulled back slowly. I felt helpless, not knowing what to do but instinctively I stood up only to sit back down on my knees in front of her grabbing both of her hands as she kept looking down, away even when I tried to look at her face.

She wanted to pull away again, but I didn't let her. I could feel she needed me, and I wasn't going to back out so easily, leaving her here like this. "Hey, what happened?" I whispered softly as I tried to hide my worry, my thumbs softly caressing her knuckles. She still didn't say anything and now my worry turned into fear. "Hey talk to me." I left her hands to cup her face bringing it up as I titled her chin.

I needed to catch a breath the moment I saw the cut on her lip, my suspicions driving me crazy and my heart pounding out of my chest. She tried to pull her face away from my hands, but I held on to it for dear life. "What's with the sunglasses Bells?" But before she could answer I pulled them away from her face, revealing her bloodshot eyes, and one black and swollen. She looked at me with despair and my head sank. No, no, no, no.

I panicked, letting go of her face to take her hand, pushing up the sleeves of the hoodie. My suspicions narrowed down to a possible reason when I saw the bruises around her wrist. I did the same on her other arm, revealing the same bruises. "Bells." I whimpered and she sat I front of me motionless, her eyes blank but filled with tears, her bottom lip trembling with sadness.

I swallowed before softly pulling the hood on her head back. I instantly gasped before holding my breath. I had to look away into the dark parking lot to gather my thoughts, anger but mostly sadness settling in my throat. I looked back at her to see half of her beautiful face badly bruised, her hair short and uneven. What did they do to her!? I clenched my jaw still not being able to breathe until I said what I never wished to say. "They found you, didn't they?" I forced out, my voice shattering in a thousand pieces, my eyes burning with tears.

She nodded before falling into my chest, my arms instantly catching her as she buried her face into my shirt. "I'm sorry." She whimpered, sobbing as her chest moved violently. She was shaking in my arms and I could do nothing but hold her. My arms snaked around her, holding her tightly like I was never going to let go.

"I'm sorry for not being here to protect you." I cried into her hair. I couldn't hold back my tears as the image of her bruised face pained me. This is worse than heartbreak. This feels like someone put a knife through my heart and is poking me with it still. If I had been here none of this would have happened. If I hadn't broken my phone none of this would have happened... If... My thoughts went silent while all I could feel was hurt, pain making my head pound. "I was on my way back to you... I was too late I'm sorry." I cried into her hair once more.

We stayed like that for a few minutes until she had calmed down and I noticed her shiver, her hands cold against my chest. I picked her up like a ragdoll, her head resting on my shoulder while her legs laced around my waist. I didn't even ask her, but this wasn't up for discussion, she was coming back to my place.

I gently put her down in the passenger seat, my heart aching the moment she let go of me. The back of my hand caressed her tired face as she could barely keep her eyes open with exhaustion. I guess it had all been too much for her, it was even getting too much for me. I swallowed again, squeezing my eyes shut as I watched her face, hurt, bruised, broken. I wanted to scream as my heart broke into a million splinters. I wanted to take back everything that happened the past week as she would have been perfectly happy and safe if none of that had happened.

I gently closed the door behind her as I watched her snuggled into her hoodie. How could anybody do this to her! I felt so mad but deeply miserable too as I watched her through the window. I bit on my bottom lip trying to hold back myself from screaming into the air. Fuck! I pushed my hands through my hair, panic roaring through my stomach. This is so messed up.

I shook my head, trying not to break down as she needed me to be strong. I sat down behind the wheel, watching over her as she was almost falling asleep. My entire face was a painful frown as my eyes scouted over the bruises on her face. "I sorry..." I whispered to her before turning on the ignition and taking off.

Almost at my place I stopped at a red light and put my hand on the clutch. I kept my eyes on the road for a second, not wanting to intrude her bubble, but then I couldn't help to look to the side to get a glimpse of her. She was staring at me and my painful face turned into a smile when I caught her. Without saying anything she reached out to grab my hand bringing it to her chest while she hugged it. I never wanted her to let go, but she did. As soon as the light turned green, she put my hand back on the clutch and let go, pulling the hood back over her head. She didn't want me to see her like that and all I was holding on to now was the way she just took my hand.

She had fallen asleep by the time we arrived at my place and I didn't plan on waking her up. As silent as I could I opened the passenger door, hovering over her so I could pick her up but as soon as I touched her, she flinched, startled by my presence. She looked at me with wide eyes, terrified. "It's okay, it's just me." I held up my hands in despair while I saw the tears in her eyes. She hadn't said much, almost nothing to be honest and it was scaring me. "I"m just going to carry you upstairs. We're at my place, it's okay." I whispered trying to calm her down as she seemed completely disoriented. "Come here." I whispered, carefully leaning in to lace my arms around her. She let me completely engulf her as I pulled her out of the car, her legs once again draped around my waist. For a moment after closing the door and locking the car I just held her, burring my face in the crook of her neck. "I'm sorry baby." I whispered, apologizing for not keeping her safe and letting all of this happen to her.

She completely leaned on me, hiding her face in my neck as her arms held me tight. "It's not you're fault." She faintly whispered back, holding me tighter as we stepped into the elevator. Her words had lifted a weight of my shoulders but still I felt like a was accountable somehow.

I swallowed, opening the door to my apartment, afraid for Mia's reaction. I walked in, still carrying Bells, to find my sister waiting on the couch. She had exchanged her dress for sweats and a T-shirt and had wiped the makeup off her face. I could see she was already on the brink of crying the moment we walked in, so I tried to break the news as gently as possible. I put Bells down on her feet while I kept my eyes on my Mia who was looking at us with confusion. "What's wrong?" Mia shook her head, instantly noticing that we should have walked in all smiles instead of carrying this sadness with us.

I shook my head, not wanting to say it out loud but I didn't have to anymore as Mia's face sank the moment Bells turned around. Even with the hood on her head my sister instantly knew something was terribly wrong. Mia didn't hesitate to run over to Isabella, instantly throwing her arms around her as she pulled her into a tight hug. I stood there helpless, watching both of them break down in my each other's arms. "I'm sorry." Bells sobbed and the sound of her voice with her choice of words broke my heart. How can she think this is all her fault? Don't apologize baby...

"I knew something wasn't right. I had a bad feeling when I called you and you didn't pick up." Mia pulled back cupping Bella's face, her eyes gazing at the cut on her lip. "Bella..." My sister went speechless as she pulled away the hood from Isabella's face, gently trying not to invade. "Oh god!" Mia gasped as she saw the way Bella's hair was bluntly cut and the bruise on the side of her face.