The book is ending yay! I have to get my affairs in order which is harder than it sounds but here is a triple update.

66

Three weeks later...

Dalia's POV

I had my good days and my bad days.

On my good days, I didn't feel much, it reminded me of my time at the safe house. Everything was just a blur, my body going on auto pilot while my mind wondered off. I preferred these days, loved them actually because I didn't have to worry much.

Then there were my bad days which over the last three weeks, came more often than I liked. I just stayed in bed and cried.

I've cried so much I wonder how I still have water in my body, considering I hadn't been eating much either.

It was hard, to follow Faye's schedule again. It reminded me so much of her. It feels like she just died yesterday but I've lived for centuries. Grief was a fickle thing. And I hated it so much.

I hated how it make me feel weak every time I shed a tear. Especially in front of Vittore.

That was another thing.

I hadn't seen Mr. big bad and scary since that night in Faye's room. He wasn't there when I woke up and well... the mafia was busier than ever.

They were looking for the Don of the Raven's.

I would like to say we were getting somewhere but we really weren't. He got away and things weren't the same. We were all disorganized and there was this dark cloud over the whole mafia that wasn't seeming to let up.

Maddox still hadn't been located, according to rumours, he must have been a traitor and working with the Don of the Ravens all along.

Why was I not surprised?

Alexa had taken to being a bitch to me again. I preferred it when I didn't have to see her at all but she keeps rubbing the fact that she spends a lot of time with Vittore in my face. She didn't have to do that because I knew he was avoiding me.

I'd seen him at his lowest, hell if it were me, I'd probably do the same.

That didn't mean I didn't try once or twice to corner him. He just evaded me so well and...

I missed him.

I missed him so much. Everyday I opened my eyes and he wasn't there, a pit formed in my heart like it wasn't already a dark abyss. I just wanted to hold him and... I don't know.

My thoughts had been so conflicting the past few weeks, I hardly remembered what day it was. Everything was just so... dull.

"Dalia?"

I looked over at Peyton. She and I had been hanging out I guess, from the times I wasn't moping around or wishing I was dead alongside Faye. But then thinking like that made me feel guilty because of one person.

Vittore.

"Are you ok?" the brunette asked and I nodded slowly. I guess I was.

I was having a good day. Or as good as the days can get.

Peyton turned away, going back to what she was doing, what we were doing.

Cleaning daggers in the weaponry.

I didn't want to be left alone with my thoughts and Vittore though avoiding me, had forbidden me from going on any more missions. It sucked.

I wiped yet another blade but as I moved to put it on the shelf, my vision blurred and dark dots started dancing in front of my eyes. I let out a soft gasp, the knife slipping from my hands and to the floor while I staggered a bit, my heart suddenly thumping wildly in my chest.

When was the last time I took iron tablets.

Or ate for that matter.

"Dalia!" I felt Peyton's hand on me while the dizziness though persisting, wasn't as bad. I pushed her away slightly and shook my head a little.

"I'm fine just..." I took a deep breath and staggered backward. "Don't touch me."

I didn't make it two steps before my legs gave out and I collapsed on the floor, my vision going back for a second until I felt taps on my cheek.

"Dalia oh God Dalia don't fucking die one me!"

My eyes slowly opened to see Peyton's worried face.

"Oh good. Are you ok?" she said as she helped me up.

"Yeah... fine. I just need something to eat I guess," I mumbled.

"Do you want me to walk you to-"

"No thanks Peyton. I'm good," I said cutting her off and turning away.

I should go get some oranges and take a tablet or two. Maybe eat spinach or something.

"Dalia?" Peyton called and I turned to her. She fiddled with her fingers for a while and sighed.

"I know it's not my place to say anything but... please... take care of yourself," she started, her tone as soft as the look in her eye. "I know we haven't really talked or bonded or anything but I know this mafia... I know Vittore. Not as well as you and Faye do but... enough to know that he needs you and hence, this mafia needs you."

I sighed, turning away from Peyton. "You don't know what you're saying-"

"I do!" the brunette was quick to defend, stomping over until she stood in front of me with a glare on her face. "Before you came to this mafia, it was all work until you drop, not just for the people in it but for Vittore too. But then, suddenly, we started taking days off. Enjoying our lives despite the shitty situations we found ourselves in and its all because Vittore loosened up a bit... because you loosened him up even if it was a little bit. He lost Faye yes but if he lost you too, this mafia would crumble. I see the way he looks at you, even when you don't and you know exactly what I'm talking about. Don't deny it. It won't get you anywhere."

With those words, Peyton walked away, glancing back at me once as I held a hand up to my head, my eyes burning.

I was so tired of people confusing me. I was tired of having my brain and heart work at the same time. It had to be one or the other and for a while, my heart has been of no use. Peyton just can't say things like that and expect me not to let the words burry themselves deep in my soul.

I just wanted to breathe.

I wanted to take a moment and process everything. I'd never felt grief before or whatever I felt for Vittore. How was I supposed to work on both at the same time?

I hated not knowing things and with Vittore, that happened occasionally.

I remember telling Faye I was scared but fear was compared to the feeling Peyton's words were bringing.

Defeat.

I felt do beaten down and done with every fucking thing.

My life wasn't supposed to be like this!

I wasn't supposed to be so broken.

I wasn't supposed to be so scarred.

But why me?

What had I ever done?

It felt wrong to curse the world for my misfortune. I was so used to blaming myself, my looks, my body, my decisions...

It was what I was taught.

That everything that happened, every single misfortune was because of something I did and the only way to make up for it was with pain and anger.

Two things that brought by an emotionless nature that I was so used to. An emotionless nature I couldn't put up anymore.

I was so fucking done with everything.

I just wanted it to be over.

I just wanted some peace.

I just wanted Vittore.

But life wasn't that simple. You don't just wish for something and it comes true.

I'd like to say I was feeling a lot of self loathe at the moment but that wasn't it. I'd felt that before. The feeling I had now wasn't new to me. I'd felt it a lot before.

Hopelessness.

I'd built hope, slowly, unknowingly but I did. And now its come back to bite me in the ass.

I sighed and walked out of the training room back to Vittore's penthouse. I collapsed on his couch and let out a sigh.

The elevator dinged open, a sound that had become so unfamiliar and for a split second, I really did think it was the only person who would make me feel better only to turn and see one of the building's maids.

"I'm sorry to bother you miss but there's someone on the phone for you," she said, holding out a phone that looked like a brick. I took it from her, mumbling a 'thank you'.

"Hello?"

"Jade Scythe."

"Crimson Raven," I mumbled. "What can I do for you?"

"Its been four weeks and a day since we last spoke. You haven't come by the address. Should I be worried?"

Of fucking course.

"I'm sorry. I forgot," I mumbled then let out a sigh, running a hand down my face. "You know what, call me back in exactly two hours and I'll have everything ready for you and the sisters to find Jordan."

The line went quiet for a second.

"Two hours Jade Scythe. Don't disappoint."

I handed the phone back to the maid and she left me alone. I starred into space for a while before getting up and taking something to help with the effects of my anaemia.

New resolve filled my veins and I pushed back every single emotion to focus.

I may be a wreck but things were far from over. I had much to do and a bloody Italian to find.