The wait was killing me.

My hands leaned against the large window of my apartment. The evening was crisp with clear skies, the last of the sunset just a fading pinkish strip in the west. I Watched beneath, people walking by, cars and buses driving right and left under the streetlights. It looked chaotic, a mess. It reflected my confused mind.

I sent the letter some days ago to Lillie, and still no reply yet. The anticipation was eating at me, my mind wondered too many possibilities. With each passing hour, my hope seemed to chip away little by little.

Did she not want me?

Did she hate me that much?

Was she finally happy with someone else?

Had I lost her... forever?

The thought stabbed through me like a knife to the heart.

All these questions were driving me fucking insane.

I banged on the window with my hand, feeling it vibrate underneath it. Shaking the bad thoughts away. She would have answered by now, wouldn't she? I debated with myself. But I had to be patient. I had to give her time. This was my fault to begin with, anyway.

I wanted her forgiveness. I wanted it so bad.

I walked to the kitchen, grabbing a cold beer from the fridge. My thoughts still pounding at me like a Judge's gavel, finding me guilty. But I was filled with guilt about how I had treated Lillie, about how I handled everything.

Regret gnawed at me again. How could I have left her behind? Despite the danger lurking, I should have worked on our relationship, I should have worked on us! I could have done better, instead of bailing like I fucking usually did. I hated myself for it. If I could do it all again, I would.

And now Lillie probably moved on. Or that's what I heard Sassi say that night. It wounded me to hear those words. It made me feel a certain way and I didn't like.

I had no right to feel this emotion, this... jealous. I've been with a few women since leaving Lillie, but the thought of her being with another guy made me angry. It made me fucking ill.

I clenched and unclenched both my fists, blowing out hard. I had to do something.

Sitting and waiting in this damn apartment felt cold and empty. Suddenly, it stung... the loneliness. I had to force my mind to think about something else before it drove me up these bricked walls. I went to the only place I could think of to blow steam.

***

The gym was empty this time of night. I was relieved. I needed the space to free my mind. To be alone with no distraction. I dropped my gym bag on the bench and took out my fighting gloves, itching to feel the burn of the weights.

I stretched out my arms and made my way to the weight training bench. I did ten bench presses of 135lbs, lifting the weights up and down with both arms. It felt fucking good, a release only pain can fulfill. The sweat dripped from my forehead and my muscles seared, just the way I liked it, drowning any thoughts that pulled me down.

Approaching heels clinked towards me, snapping me out of my zone. I placed the weights down and sat up, breathing hard. I looked up and saw Jessica Morgan, the UFC agent, her arms crossed over her pristine white shirt tucked in a grey pencil skirt.

Her neatly manicured eyebrow arched up.

"Looks like you not interested in my offer Dimitri?" she said coolly.

I scoffed, not in the mood to make life decisions right now. Damn, I wanted to escape for a couple of hours. How did she even know I was here?

"I had a lot on my mind." I said as I grasped a towel and dried my sweaty neck. "How did you find me?"

She gave a coy smile. "I wanted to meet you at your apartment, but I saw you walking down the street and followed you up here."

I frowned and gave a stiff nod.

"Well Dimitri? The offer is about to expire..." The red-haired said, a smirk forming on her face.

"... tonight." She continued.

I stopped in my tracks and looked at her.

What the fuck... tonight?

"Are you serious?" I asked her, her words sinking in.

She nodded. "I'm not a patient woman... and neither is the UFC world. Either you in, with the opportunity of a lifetime given, or you out?" she said sternly. "So, choose now."

My mind swam with unanswered questions, but finally went numb with one probable outcome.

I couldn't let this opportunity pass me by.

I looked at Jessica with one answer in mind.

"I accept your offer!" I said.

The agent smiled. "Good choice Dimitri and be a good guy and stay out of trouble... we'll be in contact." She said with a cheeky wink, turned and walked away.

She left me with the aftereffects of my decision. Fighting in the UFC will open doors unimaginable for me. Fame and fortune. I could get out of this rut and experience a new life, a life with Lillie by my side. The thought overwhelmed me.

I shook my head hard. This can't be it.

Lillie and I were meant to be together; I could feel it in my blood.

If I don't get a reply from Lillie, I'll go to her and hear it for myself!