"What happened to you, was not your fault. The struggles you have today, like your cPTSD symptoms, are a normal response to abnormal events. So please be kind with yourself."

~ Unknown 

Part 18

(Angel's Pov (Age 18))

Hurt, it's a very small word but has a great potential to break a heart. I was kinda feeling the same, like someone pulled my heart out of my ribcage. 

They say that the world is running on hope, so we should always keep it, but till when ? How long can we wait in a hope ? How long will I wait for him? 

It's been two years since Blaize went back to Newyork, and one and half years since he contacted me. I still tried his Number, mail, and social media, but no results. 

I wasn't able to contact him. Sofia's contact isn't even working. 

I took my phone out and tried to call him again, but again it says the number doesn't exist, is it really that the number or the person I loved didn't ever exist, was that all facade, lies but for what? Why? and why me? 

My mind wants me to accept the betrayal that my heart is afraid of accepting. 

Sometimes I feel Ian is right. Whatever he said is right. I was just a playing material for him until he found someone more interesting than me. 

But my heart doesn't want to accept it, maybe because it still had a hope that he'll be back at my graduation to take me with him, just like he promised. 

But he broke that promise too. Today was my graduation day and it's evening now, but he didn't come.

He doesn't even try to contact me, but what happened, did I do anything wrong? 

Mom says if he doesn't come back then she will take me to Newyork and we can find him there. She is a believer. She thinks everything is possible in this world, all we need to do is open our heart and arms. 

I sighed and stood up from the bench, I was sitting upon. Ian also didn't come today and the reason is unknown to me. Even Ian has behaved differently since three months and started taking drugs. 

I remember searching for Ian in all of college, three month ago and found him behind the college area. 

He was with 3 different boys, who didn't look good and were teaching him drugs. I quickly took him away and told Aaron everything. 

He said he will take care of Ian. I'm afraid of him being in some bad guys company who teaches him how to kill himself with these harmful substances. 

I tried to make him understand but he doesn't listen to anyone. It's just like he is not Ian, who was my friend.

So many things happened and got changed in two years. 

I reached his home and found Clara going out with Ava, Ava is her beautiful little daughter. "Hey Clara, hey Ava" I hugged them both. "Where are you going and where is Ian? He didn't even come today, it was our graduation day" I asked her.

"He is in a room dear, he said he doesn't want to go and neither want us to go, but you can talk to him, he looks really depressed nowadays. I think he needs a friend" she said with a sad smile and I nodded.

...WARNING (TRIGGERING CONTENT)...

After knocking for like forever, he opened the door. Clara was right, He looked really really tired and depressed. 

"Ian what happened?" I asked softly and entered his room. 

"Why are you here? To Hurt me more?" He asked a little rudely. "What? But what'd I do?" I asked with a taken back. 

But my eyes found the syringe on his coffee table and I asked tearfully. "Are you still taking drugs? I told you it will harm your heart" 

"Like you ever care for this heart, for you there is only one heart exist in this world, that is Blaize's, No?" He said in a venomous voice. 

"What does blaize have to do with it?" I asked, feeling the lump in my throat. 

"See you can't even listen wrong about him. The person who left you is more important to you than the person who was with you in last years, Lina he removed you from every contact, it is crystal clear that he dumped you for some other girl, but you don't even want to believe it." He yelled at me, I could feel the tears in my eyes.

"Yes, I won't believe it, until he says so, you know why? Because I love him, I trust him more than myself" I said back and stood in the corner folding my hands, tears flowing from my eyes. 

Maybe now he will stop accusing blaize like this. But just then I heard the loud band, I turned to see Ian breaking the glass table. 

"Blaize is everything to you, and what am I? A toy? What do you take me for" he yelled and started breaking every single thing in a room. It's like he was possessed by someone. 

My feet froze in the corner of the room, looking at his angry self or should I say crazy self? My mind was blank looking at him breaking everything in the room, my body shivered and fear was gripping my heart. 

"A-are y-you o-o-ok?" My voice broke due to crying, his heavy breath told me how angry he was. He punched the mirror making me flinch. What happened to him. 

"NO, I'M NOT OK, AND IT'S ALL BECAUSE OF YOU" He yelled and threw the vase at me, which I ducked on time. My eyes widened at his behaviour, his blue eyes were bloodshot red due to aggression.

"B-but w-what did I-I do ?" I asked while sobbing. He gripped my shoulder very painfully "just say that you love me, tell me lina that you. are. mine." I gasped and shook my head. 

"Ian you know how much I love Blaize, he is my everything, and why are you behaving like this, we are good friends Ian what happened to you? Why are you even doing this, is this because of your drugs? I -I told you to stop those drugs, they are bad for your health and those guys are not good-" The blow on my right cheek stopped my rant. He slapped me.

Before my reaction he held my neck and pressed harder making it hard to breath, I couldn't believe my friend could do this. Black spots appeared at the corner of my eyes. 

"Ia-n ple-ase, I c-an-t bre-ath, ple-as-e" speaking was a difficult task to do but a certain someone's picture formed in my mind. 

Blaize, you promised to protect me. You broke another promise.

Before I fainted, he left my neck making me fall on my knees. "You know, those guys were fuckin right, those are my real friends because they understand me, they understand how much I deserve you and not that fucking Blaize, they told me if I want something I should get it by any means. So tell me now Lina, are you going to be mine?" He asked, is this really Ian? He knew how much I love Blaize. 

"No, I-I-I won-n't," I replied, stuttering and stood up with shaking knees. 

I saw the rage and evil swirl in his eyes. At that moment he was the most scary person to me, so I tried to run but he caught me before I could take one more step. 

"So you want me to be a bad guy? Huh? So be it" he said slapping me again, I fell on the couch and looked at him with begging eyes. 

"Please Ian let me go, please" but my plea fell on deaf ears because next he gripped my hairs very painfully. I screamed in pain but he just tightened his grip.

"If you are not mine, then no one's lina" he whispered in my ears and dragged me to his bathroom. "Last chance Lina, say that you love me" I again shook my head while still crying hard and he dipped my head into a bathtub filled with water. 

I shook my head and tried to get free from his grip, but I had no strength in his comparison. 

I could feel the water clogged in my nose and ears. Maybe it's my time but the sad thing is I wasn't able to say goodbye to mom and Blaize. My body started to get limp but he pulled me out at the last second. 

I breathed very hard, taking in as much oxygen as I could. My lungs felt like they were on fire. 

He was yelling something but my ears got numb, even my vision was blurry. 

He again dragged me out by gripping my hairs and pushed my head to the wall, I could feel the blood but still no sound reached my ears. 

He slapped me again twice, making me fall on the ground. My body felt the agony due to pain everywhere, but I didn't know that he wasn't done with me. 

Next I saw him pull something out of his cupboard. Belt, it was a belt and before I could think, he hit me with it very hard. 

I felt myself screaming again and tears were continuously falling, even my nose started to bleed, please someone help me, that's the only words running in my mind. 

Every hit of his belt felt like eternal pain, I have never felt this much pain, it's like my whole body is on fire. 

He hit me with his belt until he got tired and sat down. He kept saying things, but due to the water I wasn't able to hear any sound.

I tried to crawl on my hands because my body was limp due to so much assault. 

But he pulled my ankle and flipped me on my back. I kept crying and begged him to stop when he again started hitting me with a belt, but he didn't stop, he tortured me until he got tired and my whole body got numbed. 

I wasn't in a condition to even move a finger. 

He again said something and still I couldn't hear but my eyes saw the very different person in his eyes, the devil in his eyes. 

How could I trust him like that? I should have stayed away from him like Blaize told me but I didn't listen to him. 

Blaize is no different, while Ian hurt me physically, blaize broke my heart. 

Ian again grabbed my hair and I felt myself losing consciousness. He started ripping my clothes, I tried to stop him but he pinned my hands over my head. 

I felt him kissing my neck and his other hand went to my jeans and I had left no energy to stop him so I decided to accept the darkness surrounding my eyes but in a second he was pushed away from me. 

Aaron, It was Aaron. He had a look of horror. With wide eyes he patted my cheeks and said something. Next I saw Clara taking my head on her lap and Aaron beating out Ian, but soon my eyelids felt the heaviest thing and everything turned black. 

.....

Pain, pain and pain. That's what I felt everywhere, my body hurt very badly. "Angel? Sweetie open your eyes please" It's mom, yes I remember her voice, am I in heaven? No because I couldn't hear mom there. With very difficulty I opened my eyes. 

I saw mom leaning on my side and tears in her eyes, I never saw her crying. 

She is very bubbly but what happened that made her cry. "What happened?"my voice was very hoarse. 

Just then everything flooded in my mind, Going to Ian and.... my eyes filled with tears and saw mom looking at me sadly. 

"I'm so so so sorry my sweetheart that I wasn't there to protect you, but I promise I'll never let anyone hurt you again. You are a safe sweetie, you are safe." She said and kissed my cheeks. 

I nodded and cried hugging her.

She told me how she got a call from Clara and they brought me here on time. I was out for three days because my body was very weak. 

.....

It's been ten days since I'm in the hospital, I didn't eat, sleep or talk until mom stayed with me. I felt a strange fear in my heart when people tried to talk with me. 

Even yesterday Aaron and Clara came to meet me, but I didn't talk to them, I kept hugging mom, I know they saved me and I owe them but I can't help myself. 

They understood and told me to take time and they will come back another time. 

"What are you thinking sweetie?" Mom asked, caressing my hair. "Mom I...I want to run away" I told my true thoughts. 

"What? Why?" She asked to be taken back. "Mom, I don't want to live in Paris, it will always remind me of Blaize and..and...and I-I-Ian" I said with shaking hands. 

"Please mom take me away from here, I don't want to stay here please, I don't want to find Blaize anymore, I just want to stay with you at some other place" I said and started crying again. 

She hugged me and rubbed my back. "Shh dear, it's ok.. I understand. And I'll take you away, we will go to Newyork, remember how I told you that I'll take you to Newyork. For that I talked to the authorities and they transferred me to Newyork hospital. They are really happy with my work" she said with a smile. I nodded and hugged her again. 

......

Next day she took me home where everything was already packed. She didn't pack anything extra then clothes and other essentials. She told me that she sold out our house. 

"I'm sorry mom, you had to sell this house, your favourite place because of me" I said sadly.

"No angel, my favourite place is where I'll stay with you, you are my favorite place Angel" she said and hugged me. 

"I miss your bubbly self Angel, I miss your smile, won't you show your cute smile to your mom?" She asked, cupping my cheeks. 

I didn't say anything except hugging her. I felt her sighed. I can't smile anymore because there isn't any reason left to smile. 

It took us three hour to reach the airport and settled in by plane. "Are you sure, you don't want to talk to Clara before you go? Don't you think she should know ?" She asked again a third time and I again shook my head without saying anything. 

She again sighed and hugged me. "Everything will be okay sweetheart" she said and I fell asleep in most of the flight. She woke me up when we landed at Newyork airport. 

This is my dream to come Newyork and enjoy its beauty, but now I just want to stick with mom. 

I feel like a 5 year old girl holding her mom's hand like her life depends on it. 

We booked a cab and she told him the address of the hospital. She said the hospital will suggest the apartment when we reach there. 

I didn't know that life wasn't done with me because next we saw, our cab collided with a truck. 

Our cab turned upside down and it was a huge impact. I felt my head spinning and bleeding at the same time and my vision started to get blurred. 

But my whole focus was on mom. She wasn't moving, I shook her and saw her head bleeding too. "Mom? Mom please wake up, we need to get out of here" 

she wasn't even replying. I heard the cop's siren. They helped us get out and I quickly crawled to mom. I pulled her head to my lap, "please mom wake up, please don't leave me, you promised you'd be here with me, please wake up." I cried hugging her.

Cab driver was still awake and called the hospital where we were going.

I just hope mom will be alright, because if she also left me, I'll never be able to stand back on my feet. 

She is my only strength, she is everything to me. Please god don't take her away from me. 

I cried until I fell into the darkness again. 

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Author's Note

Hope you guys like this chapter.

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