I was speechless. What was he saying? My heart started to race, but I didn't want to believe what I was hearing. Ash was an elite; he could have anyone he wanted.

"Why?" I managed to croak after a while.

Ash spread his legs wide on the floor and leaned his back to the wall. Then he grabbed me, placing me with my back against his chest and his arms around me. He caressed his cheek against my ear, and I couldn't help the shiver running through me.

"Because I want you to myself. I'm not interested in anyone else. If I like someone my entire focus is on that person and that person alone, you understand? I like you. And by the looks of your behavior just now I suspect you like me too. Am I wrong?"

My heart skipped a beat, and something bubbled up inside me, something that didn't hurt. It felt so liberating, so damn good, and all in all incomprehensible. He liked me. I grabbed his neck and bent his face down to me.

"I like you," I murmured and kissed him.

I felt light as a feather as he held me tighter, playing with the tip of his tongue over my lips and I could feel a faint taste of cigarettes and bubble gum in his kiss. That huge boulder that was lodged in my chest was gone and everything that was left was Ash's embrace. I could have stayed there on the floor for days, but Ash ended the kiss after a little while.

"Why were you so anxious?" he said.

"Because we never talked about it," I said quietly. "What we are or whatever. And because I'm a fucking neurotic who's not even orbiting the same sun as you."

He entwined his fingers in mine.

"You have a fucked-up self-image, that's all. But that'll change if you just spend more time with the right people. But until then, just promise me that you'll trust me? I'm not going anywhere, believe me."

"I'm not going anywhere either, just so you know," I smiled, and I heard his laughter.

"Good, because it would make me damn disappointed if you did." He pulled me up from the floor. "We're invited to a party tonight at Florian's and his boyfriend's place."

He said it like it was the most normal thing in the world. The calm that had just landed in me was changed in an instant to uneasiness and I glanced at him to see if he was joking. But he wasn't.

"That was what we talked about yesterday," he continued. "When I told him about you, he invited us both."

"I don't know if I can handle two parties in a row," I said hesitant and went to the kitchen to grab my coffee.

He came up from behind and hugged me.

"You don't wanna miss this party," he said vehemently. "It's kind of a... special party. And I think you'll like the people there, they're not like our dear co-workers at the party yesterday. If you get tired, I promise you we'll leave, but give it a chance?"

"Ok, if you promise. What do you mean by special?"

He gave me a secretive smile and locked my wrists together in front of me.

"You know, we talked about shibari and stuff? You wanna watch it live, and other nice things? Then you'll wanna go to that party."

I blinked in surprise. Was he serious? Would there be a shibari show at a private party? What kind of people did he know, anyway? But this was Ash, the guy with ropes hanging on his bedframe for Christ's sake, what was I thinking. Of course he knew people that were in to that kind of stuff. The question was how I would fit into to that environment, me being a total newbie in just about everything. But Ash seemed sure, and I wanted to trust him. I had promised him I would, so I had to keep my word.

We spent the remainder of the day playing video games on my couch and I couldn't stop marveling the fact that it felt so natural hanging out with Ash, how easy it was to have him in my apartment and not feeling like he was intruding. To have him in my fortress. He moved with such ease among my stuff, and I was ok with it, I even liked it. I had always felt awkward when people came to my place, I had to explain why I had so many video games and comics, or been ashamed of the posters on my walls. But to Ash it was just normal, and he didn't question one single thing.

When the afternoon morphed into night Ash said that we needed to swing by his place on the way to the party, so he could change. But first he wanted to take a look in my closet. When I indignantly asked why he just shook his head.

"No matter how adoringly cute you look in those sweatpants, you can't wear them to the party," he smiled. "I wanna see what fun stuff you have to change into."

As I opened the closet door my cheeks burned. It looked like some bomb had gone off in there, I hadn't organized it in years and there was almost no folded stuff left. But he didn't remark on it at all, he just started sifting through the clothes with an excited look on his face, until he apparently found something, and his eyes lit up. In his hands were a pair of gray military pants, riddled with pockets and buttons. I had bought them in a futile attempt at trying to look cool, but never used them because I never went out anyway.

"These will work great," he said urgently and handed them to me. "Put them on, and some shirt, doesen't matter which one."

"Are you in a hurry or what?" I smiled at him.

"Nah, I'm just happy that you wanna come with me," he said and winked at me. "I've got two surprises for you. One before the party and one later."

I didn't like surprises. I never knew how to react to them and for the most part I felt stupid when I was subjected to them. But Ash had already surprised me big time and I had handled it ok, so I might just as well continue on that path. Besides, he had a knack for giving me nice surprises.

Ash took his sweet time getting changed when we got to his place. He seemed to enjoy making himself look good. Not that he needed to lift a finger to be sexy as hell, but he had the ability to look even sexier every time he made an effort. When he came out of the bathroom I gulped and stood up. He wore tight ripped jeans, his hair was in that messy way that I loved, and he had a hint of black around his eyes, making them seem even more brilliantly blue. On the chest of his black t-shirt was written 'Daddy' in big white letters. My crotch started to buzz just by the sight of him. He saw my reaction and grinned.

"You like the t-shirt?" he said and cocked his head.

"Can't believe you have the guts to wear that," I praised.

He held out a package for me and his smile got even more excited. So, this was the first surprise? I opened the package and pulled out a white t-shirt. I started to say thank you, but the words caught in my mouth when I held it up in front of me. On the chest there was a big print in black. 'Daddy's boy'. My cheeks flushed violently, and my heart sped up like crazy. Did he want me to wear this? This was dirty beyond belief. But something stirred in me. It felt forbidden. And damn enticing.

"What the hell...?" I mumbled and put the t-shirt on.

"Well, you are my boy, are you not?" Ash purred smiling, took me by the waistband of my pants and pulled me close, grinding his hips.

Fucking hell, he was already hard. My desire for him, that up until now had been like embers in the background of my head, roared up in earnest and my cock started twitching in my pants. If he continued like this, we would be late to the party. And I had no problems with that at all. I leaned in to kiss him, but he just grabbed me by the neck and held me back. When I whined in disappointment and continued to try to get close, his grip on my neck got firmer and I couldn't help enjoying it.

"Are we being impatient tonight?" he said darkly and moved his other hand from my waist to my chin and now he had my head in a vice.

He forced his thumb in between my lips, and I moaned at his rough treatment. There was something odd happening when he seized control that completely, the feeling in me was so amazing and it made me want him like nothing else. But evidently, he didn't plan to go any further. He licked his lips and shook his head.

"Hold that thought for a couple of hours," he said and released me. "We really don't wanna be late to this party."

I drew a long breath and tried to collect myself, despite my hard-on pressing against my pants.

"You're such a dick sometimes," I muttered and went after him to the hall.

"That's what you like about me," he grinned back. "And I'm just getting started."