"How can you be so selfish father?" I say, knowing my native accent had slipped out. I felt full disappointment in my father.

My father's gambling has gone too far. He has really put the family in jeopardy this time. I knew my father's disgusting behavior would really put my mother and I in deep trouble. In fact I had said, plenty of times for him to get specific help for his non-stop gambling.

"I was so close to winning, hitting the big time. I'm sorry I went out of control, little one." father responded.

This isn't the first time he had said this, he had said this many times before. Repeating the same thing, making his apology quite worthless to me. I just want him to change, if he could have just listened to me in the beginning, this would have never happened. My farther's constant denial of his addictive gambling really put a burden on us.

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I came home with good news, knowing that I passed the difficult exam with a proud score, which I had taken a couple weeks ago. But then I was hit with bad news, instantly knowing something was wrong when I didn't smell the mouth-watering aroma of my mother's excellent Caribbean cooking. My mother cooks usually, and I help her in the kitchen after I return from university or my job at the daycare. She's always in a good mood when she cooks, dancing and swaying her hips to the native song, she sang to me when I was just a child.

Instead, of smelling the scent I'm so used to, I heard my mother's heart-wrenching crying. Now, my mother rarely cries, she's a strong woman, if she has ever cried she makes sure to not let me see her tears. Her crying is full of deep sorrow. I'm surprised to hear this, but I run toward her crying, wanting to know what is making her cry like this.

Her crying leads me to the kitchen. She's sitting with my father, and I see that my father is trying hard to calm her down. I start asking questions, knowing my questions won't be answered, not when she's crying so hysterically, so I wait. I comfort her, as much as I can. She finally calms down after a few minutes. I have a feeling, it has to do with my father's gambling.

When all is calm, I waited for my father to explain. He sighed and looking sheepish, he told me that he went to the casino again. He scratched the back of his neck, I know that's his body language, whenever he did something awful or he's nervous.

Then he continued, saying "At first, I was doing great. But then I kept on losing money. All my savings were gone. I don't know what happened, maybe I was stressed out because of work. I wasn't thinking straight and wiped out even your mother's bank account, then yours. Even that wasn't enough, I kept on losing money. Then I applied for a loan at the casino, and then went to a different casino, so I wouldn't seem suspicious."

I interrupted him, asking "How much money did you ask for at the casino?"

Then he answered, but after a couple minutes...."4 million dollars..... I'm so sorry." Then he broke down crying. His crying won't solve anything, it won't pay back the debt. I don't cry, not even when my mother started to cry again. There is no point of crying, I have to stay strong, and try to find a solution to our major problem. How can the casino lend him so much money anyways, it's just doesn't seem fair or right.

I sigh a shaky breath. What are we going to do? I had saved the money in my account for years, so I can pay my own loans at my university. Do, I have to quit school now? I always wanted to be a pediatrician. How are we going to pay all that money back? Oh father, you really ruined us this time.

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