Today is my last day in Italy.

I stare out the window, looking down at the beautiful garden below me. It's decorated with flowers of all kinds, daisy's, lilies, sunflowers and roses. Their colour bleeds onto the greenery, contrasting the otherwise dull view.

"You like it?" Rain asks from behind me.

I don't turn to look at her, I can't look at her - Not when she still bears all the marks Harry inflicted on her body. I can't help but feel wholly responsible for her pain, and so when I look at her, I can barely meet her gaze.

"Yes, your garden is very beautiful." I say.

After the funeral, I had discovered that Alice was actually Rain - Hired by my father to befriend me and make sure I was safe. If my father were still alive, I think I would've been mad, maybe even furious... But now all I can feel is sadness. Dad was always looking after me, even if I didn't wish it. I hold nothing but respect and love for him, even in death.

"You really love your gardens..." I say, trying to distract from the silence, not that it's awkward. But nowadays I can't bear the quiet between words.

"Yes, I enjoy caring for plants, it's much easier than caring for a human." I can hear the smile in her voice. Even in New York she was very fond of gardening, no one would've thought unless she were to show them proof. I admire that in Rain, she's passionate. I think that's why we are so close. "How are you feeling, how is your arm?"

I purse my lips, and my hand automatically reaches up to graze against my injured shoulder. It no longer hurts, but I can still feel the pain of the memory behind it. The scar will forever be a reminder of all that I have ruined. All that I have destroyed because of my foolishness and naivety. "I'm fine." I say.

I hate that people are constantly worrying over me, especially Dante and Rain when they are the ones who endured much worse than me. I can't help but feel an overwhelming sense of guilt. I know the longer I spend here, in Italy, in the presence of those I love, the more I will break and fall apart.

I need a new beginning. One where I can discover myself, and find real love. Not for people, but for a passion. I want to run away and hide, and become a new person.

I know it's selfish of me.

But I think it's time to take control of my life.

"Alright," Rain breathes. "Well, breakfast is ready."

I turn around to face her, and catch a glimpse of the marks across her face. Scars and cuts that still heal. It may have only been a few weeks, but everything is still healing. Everyone is still healing. It is all still freshly engraved within our skin and our memories.

Rain's hair is no longer long as it once was, but rather sits above her shoulders, and instead of the luminous blonde, it is now a dark brown. Rain isn't the only one who wanted to reinvent herself after all that has happened.

Her body is still so skinny, though as time has passed, I've noticed her natural glow return, as she slowly becomes herself once again.

"That's good, I'm starving." I say, with a small smile across my lips, trying to lighten the mood.

"Good," Rain says, now smiling brightly. "Because I made your favourite... Chocolate chip waffles!"

I now manage to smile a little wider, feeling energized by her enthusiasm. "Delicious, please, lead the way!" I chuckles, as I head over to her.

She nods her head and we leave my room, entering into the grand hall of Rains family manor. Her family are not currently present, and she hasn't yet explained to me where they are, but I don't persist.

As we weave our way through these complex halls which I have come to know over the past few weeks, we finally reach the dining room doors. Alice pushes them open and we come to face the long table where we have eaten every single one of our meals together since the funeral. Only one other person sits at the table.

Dante.

The scent of waffles and chocolate permeates through the air, and makes my stomach growl with hunger. On the table I notice a plate stacked with the delicious food, along with different fruits and glasses of juice. Orange and... Apple.

"Morning ladies." Dante grins as he stands. He walks over to us, and pulls Rain in for a kiss. I watch as she blushes like a schoolgirl, and gives him a quick kiss back.

He then gives me a warm hug, which I reciprocate. "You alright?" He whispers into my ear.

There it is again - Asking me if I'm alright.

"Yes." I whisper back.

We pull away from each other and grab a seat at the table, with Dante at the head, and Rain and I sitting opposite each other. I grab two waffles before pouring myself a glass of orange juice and taking a large sip.

As we begin to eat in silence, I can feel the tension growing. Everyone seems so quiet, I hate the silence.

"So, when will you two be heading back to New York?" I ask.

Dante looks to Alice and shrugs. "We are not too sure yet. Alistair seems to be handling everything well."

A few days after the funeral, I had made the decision to hand over the New York and Italian mafia to Alice and Dante. I knew they would be able to handle it much better than I could ever.

"Are you sure you want to leave so soon, Mia?" Dante asks, as he takes a bite of the waffle. "Are you sure you don't want to stay a little longer... After all that has happened-"

"I am sure." I say, cutting him off. "This is what I want."

He nods. "If it is what makes you happy."

"It is."

"I only hope you will come visit us often." Rain interjects, changing the topic. I know that you plan to travel a lot, but please... We will miss you. We are family now." Alice smiles.

"Of course I will come visit." I say. "I love both of you, and will miss you. Maybe when I'm ready to settle, I can find a place in Italy, or even New York. That way we will not be so far from each other."

Before this life I would've never even thought about being so reckless as to drop everything and explore the world. I was always so set on building a life for myself... But now, now I know what the world is like, now I know I just want to live it, experience everything I can until I am too tired to do so anymore. But even then I know it will be a long while before I choose to settle.

"How is Valentino and Angelina?" Alice questions. "Are they doing alright?"

Yesterday I paid a visit to the two.

They were both doing well, and It seemed Angelina was finally back to normal. She had been shot by Harry in her pelvis after she had knocked him over. She was out for a few days after the funeral... It was a miracle she even lived. Valentino however was the only one who left the funeral without more than a few scratches and bruises.

"I'm sorry." I said when I had seen him in private. "I'm sorry that happened to Angelina." I looked him in the eyes as I said the sincere apology. I knew how much he loved Angelina, and after he confessed his feeling of her to me, I once again felt that overwhelming guilt for all the pain that my existence had caused.

"You have no reason to apologise. Angelina had made her choice to help you. What happened to her, was not your fault, nor was it anyone's besides the man who shot her." Valentino said.

"They were both doing well. They said they were also leaving Italy soon. Business must continue as usual."

"Of course, the underworld sleeps for no one." Dante chuckles.

The rest of breakfast passes by quickly as Dante and Alice spoke of new business ventures and changes they were going to make to the new mafias they were in possession of. I couldn't help but stare at them as they conversed, as if they were old friends who had known each other all their lives.

I don't know what happened when they were locked up together - They hadn't told me and nor had I asked. But whatever they went through, had helped them build a bond that can be created no other way.

"There's one more thing I must do before I leave." I state to the both of them as I stand from my chair.

They both give me knowing looks and curt nods. "Just make sure you come back up and say goodbye before you leave." Alice says, taking my hand in hers. "Promise you wont leave without saying goodbye."

"I promise." I say.

I leave without another word, slipping through the dining room doors and walking through the empty halls until I reach the back doors. Opening them, I'm greeted by the morning air, cold and bitter, it kisses my skin and leaves me with shivers.

The garden ahead of me leads on for miles, backing onto farmland owned by Rain's family. There are enough trees to form a thick canopy above the garden, shielding all the lovely flowers from the harsh sun that pelts down at midday.

A stone cobble path branches out into differing directions, and I take the one furthest to the left.

As I begin my journey, I pass by staff members and gardeners tending to the delicate plants. Giving then a small wave and a smile, I let them do their work.

I continue down the path for another ten minutes before I reach my destination.

Ahead of me is a garden within a garden. Fenced off from the rest of the world, it's in its own little bubble.

I built this garden with my own hands. I planted the seeds as well as the flowers and the trees. I built the fence and placed it down. I did it all, and I did it all by myself.

As I walk through the white picket fence, the familiar sensation of grief overtakes me. In the centre of the garden is the stone - His stone.

Tears prick within the corners of my eyes.

I kneel beside the tombstone which has his name neatly written in cursive along it.

"I'm sorry." I whisper, placing my hand against it.

Everyday guilt consumes me like a disease, eating me up from the inside out. I am the reason for all the terrible things that have happened, and no matter how much I'm told not to blame myself - I can't help it.

I love Matteo. I realise that now. I love him so much.

A tear falls down my cheeks, and I wipe it away quickly.

The sun settles upon the small garden, and replaces the bitter cold.

A hand on my shoulder startles me from my daze, and I lean into the touch. "Why do you come here?" They ask.

Another tear falls down my cheek, but this time I don't wipe it away.

"To remind myself of what could've happened."

I stand and turn to face him.

Matteo's face is as beautiful as the first time I ever saw if - If not more so. His dark eyes, full of life, look into my soul and give me nothing but warmth and comfort.

"Mia." He raises his hands and cups my cheeks. Pushing back a stray hair, he gives me a smile which could light up a world in darkness. "You need to let go of the past."

I raise my hands and place them against his.

I can never get the sight of his lifeless body out of my mind. It will remain there until the day that I die. It will haunt me for the rest of eternity, because that day, I lost a part of myself. One that I will never get back. I am not the same person who I used to be, and I've accepted that.

Matteo Giovanni was recorded legally dead when the ambulances arrived the day of the funeral.

And he was dead - He did die.

But then by some miracle, he came back. They saved him.

He's alive right now - But to the rest of the world, he is dead.

From this moment on, there's no more mafia. No more responsibilities, no more pain. Just us.

"I know. I know I do." I whisper.

He leans down and places a tender kiss upon my lips. I'm surrounded by his warmth.

And then he pulls away. "I love you, Mia. I will love you forever until the day I die, no matter what happens." He says with confidence.

I stare up into his eyes, hoping that he can see all the love I hold for him within my own eyes. "I love you." I breathe.

He drops his hand and interlaces his fingers with mine, giving it a tight squeeze. "Are you ready to go?" He asks.

I'm ready to go and live my life. I'm ready to make memories with the person I love, and I'm ready to take risks and do whatever the fuck I want. I'm ready for everything that's ahead of me.

I'm scared. But for the first time in my life, I know that I'll be okay.

We'll be okay.

"I am."

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