It was like I was trying to swim up to the surface in my mind.

After all this time I spent at Ravenwolf I was reminded of a warmth I thought I had lost.

I had Rae, who supported me endlessly... but after having been around that family for quite some time, I had realized it wasn't just the Ravenwolf's who were mending and healing some broken pieces in their hearts, but that I, too, had been as well.

I clenched my other hand into a fist... and I suddenly felt calmer.

I wouldn't continue to live like this. I wouldn't let her do this to me. Even if I couldn't forgive myself for what happened in the past. I couldn't leave without saying something.

"I'm sorry..." I walked over to the side where my aunt was staring. She seemed a little frazzled by my sudden movements. She tried turning away but I followed her gaze.

"Why can't you look at me?" at that moment she closed her eyes.

"What did you just say?"

"After all these years I can understand why you would consider me a burden... since I know what happened was my fault... but..." I closed my eyes and then turned away from her, doing my best not to let tears fall down from my eyes. Before I left the room, I heard her call out to me.

"Hazel..." I slowly turned to see she had risen up from the bed a little. There was some silence between us.

"You... remind me of my sister..." I stared blankly at my aunt, who was looking a little paler and weaker than before. I didn't realize how much smaller she was... I used to think she was so intimidating as a child. But now, she was just an ordinary woman sitting in front of me.

"What?" I asked and my aunt looked at me. Her eyes were cold.

"I thought over time I would be able to forget, but you kept reminding me of her... everything you did reminded me of her. Can you understand... how difficult that would be for me?" my aunt then lifted her hands up and held them to her forehead.

"You lost a sister that day... but I also lost my mother. Someone important to the both of us died... but you decided to treat it as though you were the only one hurting."

I didn't mean for my words to cut deep but she looked up at me angrily.

At that moment I had a sudden realization...

Mom, you would have wanted better for me...

You loved me with all your heart and soul... and I didn't deserve this.

Either did my aunt... but we would be at a crossroads for the rest of our lives.

"That night changed both of our lives forever... but you know what I've realized?" I looked up at her and said: "I have found many reasons to keep living... despite the pain the I feel..."

She then looked ahead of her, unmoved.

"You can... put someone else on your emergency contact list... and Aunt Lydia... I wish you well..."

I turned one last time to see that she had been staring out of the window again...

When I left the room and exited the hospital there was a large gust of wind that circled around my body... when I looked up a blinding light was escaping from behind a cloud... I smiled to myself... there was sorrow inside of my heart because I could never go back and change the past... but I felt a little lighter inside.

Even though spring had arrived, it was still chilly so I shivered... I didn't put on my jacket when I left... so I could only chuckle at my forgetfulness.

But before I reached inside my bag, someone else had put a larger coat around me and hugged me from behind. I smelt a sweet, but musky cologne and smiled.

"How long have you been here?"

"A while..." my lips trembled a bit. Suddenly, it felt like I was losing my composure. Kai held me closer to his warm body.

"It's okay... you can cry."

After a few more minutes I couldn't help but be overtaken by my feelings of regret, frustration, and pain. My body shook a little when my cries turned into more desperate wails...

I never let my guard down around anyone since my mother died... but right now, everything felt like it was pouring out... so I turned around and let Kai embrace me. I gently laid my head on his chest.

I don't know how long we were standing there for... but after some we both walked over to a bench. Some time after we arrived he left and returned with 2 hot cups of tea. I looked at the tea bag dancing at the top.

"When did..."

"Edna told me you looked a bit distraught... don't tell her I told you. I practically had to shake her down for information..." I chuckled momentarily and then bit my lower lip.

"I was just going to wait for you... but I had this feeling that you would need me... that sounds egotistical, right?" I shook my head.

"Thank you for following your intuition..." he leaned over and gently grazed his fingertip across the top of my cheek.

"I guess this is something I'll have to get used to... my body moving on its' own to be by your side..." I reached out and grasped the top of his index finger and kissed his hand. He seemed a little taken aback at first but then he smiled at me...

We sat beside one another for quite some time. I leaned my head on his shoulder while watching a few people pass by.

"I... was always lonely when I lived with my aunt" I sighed a little to myself... where would I begin? I wanted to tell Kai about everything... I wanted him to know what happened in the past... but I was a little anxious.

I turned to see that Kai was patiently waiting for me to speak... and for some reason, in that moment, it felt like I could trust him with my story... and it suddenly all came pouring out...

"My aunt would never admit it out loud, but she despises me... some people believed she was a living saint for taking me in instead of sending me to an orphanage after the incident... 'you only have one blood living relative... how lucky are you...' 'she definitely treasures you,' 'the two of you only have each other,' I almost believed them..."

"But over time, I realized she resented me. And my efforts to make my aunt proud of me... to love me even a little... were all in vain."

"The day my mother was gone... she no longer saw me as her niece, she saw me as the person who killed her sister..."

I took a deep, nervous breath and Kai tightened his grip on my arm while hugging me closer to his body.

"When I was 12... my mom protected me and it cost her... her life..." I exhaled while letting the events slowly unravel.

"We were at my aunt's house that night because my mom was taking me to the opening of an art exhibit the next day. We were only there for an overnight stay because her house was close to the venue."

"Although it was late I insisted I needed to get something at the convenience store. And worse of all, I don't even remember what it was... but my mom, who never thought I was troubling her with my request, left with me to go... and on our way there, I remember we were walking hand in hand, talking about what tomorrow would be like..."

"And when we got to the cash register, some guys entered..." I shuddered a little and closed my eyes, vividly remembering parts as though it happened yesterday.

"They were robbing the store... so my mom grabbed me and pulled me behind her body... the clerk pushed the alarm... and after some time of handing over money they heard sirens in the background... and instead of leaving, they pulled their gun out and shot the worker. Stunned, my mom turned to cover me entirely... and one of them panicked and they fired a few times... and my mom was shot."

I had to pause again... the tears were falling again and I had subconsciously moved myself away from Kai.

"They... they escaped... and there was so much blood... and she fell on top of me... and I couldn't move... I didn't realize a bullet had grazed my shoulder... and I passed out because of the shock... that's why... hospitals remind me of..."

"It's okay..." Kai was hugging onto me again, trying to calm me a little more...

"That's why... why I woke up knowing what happened to her... and I blamed myself. Why did I have to go out this late? Why couldn't I have gotten hit? Why didn't I die with her? What didn't I die with her...?"

"Because she wanted to protect you."

I slowly looked up at Kai, who seemed to carry the same sorrowful expression in his eyes... I looked down a little while regaining my composure a little more...

"Because she wanted you to live..." he whispered and I held onto him again... tears were running down my cheeks...

After some time, I lifted my head from Kai's chest again.

"It happened a long time ago... but sometimes, it feels a little close to your reality..." he nodded and then brushed my hair away from my face. He held his hands on each side of my face and leaned forward, gently touching his forehead to mine.

"It's not your fault..."

My lips trembled again and I nodded a little.

"Your mother loves you... and if your aunt can't understand... then so be it." I looked up into Kai's golden amber eyes again and he smiled. "I may not have met her... but I think she would have wanted you to be happy..."

At that moment, it felt like I could lift my head up a little more... and when I saw Kai's gentle expression, I knew right then and there that he was someone I was meant to meet at this point in my life...

"I... haven't been able to visit her grave since... would you... can you go with me?"

Kai took my hand and kissed the top of my forehead.

He didn't need to respond... because I already knew he would.