《Ravenwolf's Rose》For The Sake Of Your Smile
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Walt drove me to the address that Jackson sent to me.
When I arrived I made my way up to the apartment and knocked on the door. I moved away from the peephole right before he answered the door and then I walked in before he had a chance to question why I was here...
I noticed that it was a moderately sized apartment with a spacious open concept: a living room and kitchen in the same area with a long hallways to my left...
"Hazel... what are you doing here?"
"Today... I'm going to overstep Nathan... and although you may not forgive me for it... I'll say it anyway," I looked up at him and continued.
"When I first came to Ravenwolf I was constantly worried about the future. Especially since I had been given a great responsibility. But... you always helped me no matter what and you were always there for me. Over time I realized it wasn't just because Henry entrusted you to find me... but also because you trusted me. So please, trust me when I say this..."
"Right now you have the power to make a few important choices. Some that could very well change who you are for the rest of your life... but it's better than running away..." when he turned away from my intense gaze I walked forward and grabbed his hands tightly. I shook them a few times.
"You don't have anything to be ashamed of. You didn't do anything wrong. No one could predict this was going to happen... but it did and something needs to give Nathan. You may not believe this will make a difference, but in order for you to understand your next moves, you have to involve the one person who has the most say in this..." he looked up at me with a gentle expression... behind that tiredness and sadness, there seemed to be traces of the man I met at the beginning of my journey.
"You need to talk to Mackenzie..." the two of us stood silently in front of each other. I slowly let go of his hands and then looked away from him. "That's all I came here to say..." I looked over at his bar table and saw an assortment of empty liquor bottles there and closed my eyes.
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"How are you so sure?" I turned around to see that he was now looking straight at me.
"I don't... but I know what it's like to give up on your own voice because you think it would be easier than fighting for what you want..." I looked him briefly before I left his apartment quietly.
I held onto my chest with my hot palm...
I couldn't believe I said that to him... but it needed to be done. When I got back to the mansion Jackson was there waiting for me.
"So, what do you want me to do? Go on another rendezvous? Do your laundry for the next few weeks? Carry your bags when you shop?
"Hmm... those are all good suggestions but no. I want you to have dinner with me."
"Dinner?"
"Where would you--"
"I want us to make dinner together. I know a place..."
"Alright, fine... but why?"
"For fun, I suppose?" he smiled at me... it made me feel like I still needed to keep my guard up. He patted the top of my shoulders before walking by me. "I'll message you the details..."
I sighed to myself.
"Oh and... thank you..." when I looked over my shoulder Jackson was waving at me. "For talking some sense into my uncle..." I smiled to myself... I hoped they would meet soon...
I don't think you have anything to worry about Nathan... Mackenzie won't reject you... she's just scared, confused and unsure of the future... but there are little steps you can take to show people you care. That you're sorry. That you want to be in their life...
I looked ahead... a little more hopeful of their future.
*
NATHAN POV
I hadn't been this nervous since I came to Ravenwolf... right now, I couldn't control the outcome and it truly frightened me.
Just like when my father passed away and it felt like I needed to keep everything together so that I could support this family...
Right now, standing outside of this house again, unsure of what lies ahead, made me feel anxious...
Edna greeted me and told me Mackenzie was in the meditation room... she was expecting me... which made me feel nervous again.
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I reassured myself several times that this needed to happen for us all to continue living around one another.
And although I didn't know what I could say to her that would comfort, or soothe how much betrayal and pain she felt... I still persisted forward.
At first, when I lost my mother, I wanted nothing more than to unleash that hatred onto the person I thought had abandoned me. Then, after connecting with Henry, I realized how important it was not to live in the past. I reaffrimed to myself that I needed to live in the present in order to find myself again. To live without forgetting but to live with as much hope for the future as possible.
But when I found out about Mackenzie I felt lost again.
Not knowing this entire time I had a daughter instead of a niece broke my heart in a million and more pieces... it kept me up every night...
I thought about how I couldn't have the same relationship with her the way that Nao or Gerald had with their kids. Feeling like an outsider again... made me feel vulnerable. And just thinking about how Mackenzie, like myself, would be angry at me like I was at Henry for not having been there... was unsettling to say the least.
And I couldn't stop spiraling... so I started avoiding people. Wondering what to do with myself.
So, outside of the meditation room, I hesitated again... it was only until I heard Mackenzie's voice that I opened the door.
She was sitting near one of the potted plants with a cushion behind her back... Apollo was right next to her. She was reading while stroking the top of his head.
"Mackenzie..." I said as softly as possible.
After all I had been through and after how much I had struggled. How I had raised myself up from adversities... right now, it felt like all those challenges and trials had amounted to nothing... this was my precious family member. She was my one and only daughter...
"You came..." she shut her book and placed it beside herself. I looked away from her briefly.
"Here..." she pointed towards a spot across from her... so I walked over and sat adjacent to her... she was quiet for some time before she spoke.
"I... have only seen you as my uncle," I exhaled and nodded.
"I know."
"Mom... isn't a very good person..."
"Cassandra did a few unforgivable things... but she still loves you. Please know that... she loves you the most..." I watched her look away from me and laid her chin on her hands that were resting on her knees...
"He's my dad, you know... even after all of this," I nodded as she spoke.
"Of course... Gerald is a very good man," there was another moment of silence between us.
"You know... I spoke to Hazel a lot... and at first, I didn't want to accept you. I didn't want anything to change. But when Hazel told me that I could have two fathers, I realized something..." she then looked up at me.
"That you didn't know. That it's not your fault and I shouldn't punish people because I'm sad... I know my dad... he will always be my dad... because family is not just about blood relations... however...for you..."
I waited in anticipation as she crossed her legs and rubbed the back of her neck.
"I thought it would be okay to have another dad..." suddenly, when I looked at her... I hadn't realized how much she had grown up over the years. In that moment, something sentimental overcame me and I started crying. I tried turning away, but she leaned forward to wipe away a few of my tears.
"We can just start from here, Nathan... maybe one day I can call you dad too?" I smiled at her and I nodded...
"I'll always be here for you... when you want to talk, when you're angry, when you're happy... I promise..." she smiled again and I reached out to gently rub the side of her cheek.
I didn't think it would take a turn like this, but I was grateful for this moment.
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