Chapter

Rose stood under the warm water, splashing on her naked body, the makeup washing away from her scarred skin with each stroke of her palms.

She combed her fingers through her wet strands and allowed the familiar scent of her lavender shampoo to calm her aching heart.

Rose had never expected her love to be returned, but neither had she imagined that she would be this pained after.

She had expected herself to be satisfied by just having him by her side but she had become greedy. Greedy to be wanted.

And just when she got used to the feeling of being wanted, the feeling faded away. Like it wasn't hers to have. Like it came to her by accident.

She turned the shower off and stepped out of the glass shower partition to dry herself. After changing into her nightclothes and blow drying her hair, she stared at herself in the mirror and sighed,

'Don't be greedy, Rose....at least he's by your side' she thought 'don't try so hard to be happy....you wont be able to...... but for all it takes, let's not be sad.' She smiled tightly at her reflection one last time before going into the bedroom.

It was empty. Caelum had been there reading through some files when she had excused herself to freshen up. She was grateful she didn't have to face him right now.

Rosette sat in front of the dressing table and brushed her long chestnut waves to braid them.

Just when she had finished looping the rubber band the door flew open. Rose almost jumped out of her chair. She still trying to get used to the way Caelum threw open doors.

She met his eyes through the reflection in the mirror. His eyebrows were furrowed and his face tensed.

"Anything wrong?" she asked.

"Did Libelle call you?" He asked cautiously.

"No, but did something happen to her?" She stood up and paced to where he was standing, "She is okay right?" she asked anxiously.

Caelum ran his hand through his hair and pulled at them sighing, "It's not about Libelle." He said.

"Then?" Rose still looked perplexed.

He tsked his tongue as he extended a hand to her, "Sit first." He said taking her to the bed.

He really didn't want to be the one to tell her this.

"Now stay calm and listen please. Okay?" he wore an expression of distress.

She was on the verge of going crazy with impatience and anxiety but she nodded her head anyways.

"An hour ago.." he gulped, "your dad...... he passed away." He whispered lightly.

Her eyes widened and her lips parted in confusion, "How?"

"Heart attack." He replied softly

Her hand in his hand started trembling. Not a single tear filled her eyes but she was shaking.

"Ca-," her voice broke over the lump rising in her throat, "Can I get a cigarette?" she said again.

Caelum got up wordlessly and went to get one from the bedside drawer. He was shocked by her words but didn't show it.

Rose did not feel griefed. Nothing tore open her heart. She should've felt broken, should've wailed over him, should've felt her heart sink deep inside her small body but she did not.

She did not feel her eyes swell like an overflowing river nor did her chest tighten to the point of hurting. She wasn't numb. She just didn't care.

Rose shook at the cruelty of her own emotions. He was her father, how could she be so coldhearted to not mourn him? It scared her. The cold irony made her tremble.

Caelum lit the Cigarette and passed it to her. She took a long, deep drag and kept the smoke in for a while before exhaling.

Caelum stood towering over her with his arms crossed. His eyebrows tensely furrowed together.

"Are you okay?" he asked, his voice firm yet gentle.

"Yes." She said, her eyes slowly rising from the burning end of the cigarette, to meet his, "and that's the problem."

...............

Sitting through the vigil service in a black dress, Rose couldn't bear to sing along to the holy songs or hymns of the proceedings.

She just there on the wooden benches of the church, with Caelum by her side, assuring her with his presence. Libelle on her other side leaned into the crook of her neck and dampened it with tears.

The only good memory that came to Rose was about how he had loved their mom. He had truly loved that lady, maybe a little too much even, but their love had inspired her to hope. To hope to find her own person.

But then her mom left the world and her dad lost his meaning to life. He had stayed in his room for two weeks, drowning his sorrows in alcohol and tears. His daughters had respected his emotional outburst but had still hoped that he would come out and comfort them. Only that he didn't.

Caelum did not say anything. He had heard everything about the decreased Mr. Carter. He didn't feel sorry for the old man. Instead he resented him. A man who had been ignorant enough not to notice his daughter being molested in his own house, was shameful.

Eric and Amy sat beside Grams chatting with her. Amy was wiping invisible tears, under her black veil with a handkerchief as Eric held her hand. He looked emotionless about the whole thing. He was probably thinking about the company he had just scooped up all to himself.

The priest requested the daughters to go up the podium. Rose got up with Libelle to share a moment with her dad.

They walked up the few steps of the podium, hearing low murmuring in the crowd. No one seemed interested in the dead man who laid in the coffin.

Everyone was too busy talking about how the company would be given to Eric or that the youngest daughter was unmarried and the oldest was married to one of the richest business tycoons.

Libelle was too sad to notice anything. She was holding on to her sister's arm and sobbing. She reached out a trembling hand and touched her fathers cold cheeks. Whispering between sobs,

"Please be happy dad... Please meet mom and love her.. I- I will try my best not to miss you *hic* not to miss you." She turned away from the coffin and found comfort in Rosette's arms.

Rose felt ashamed of herself. She could still make out little whispers behind her, talking about how she shed no tears on her real dad's funeral. She didn't blame them for thinking that.

Rowan came up on the sisters and softly whispered sweet nothings in Libelle's ear, pulling her away from Rose, allowing her to be alone with the corpse of the man she wished she could cry for.

Rosette had always known that her dad was prepared to hug death, the moment it came to take him.

Looking at the pale face in the casket she whispered, "Tell me father, which to ask forgiveness for... What I am? or What I'm not?" She turned away swiftly looking down at the ground.

At the last step stood Caelum, who took her hand in his and whispered low in her ear, "You did great."

His familiar scent mingling at the tip of her nose. It surprised her how some people were just like that. Their presence itself felt like comfort. 

........................................