I just need to graduate.

That's all I need to do.

How on earth am I supposed to do that though with all of the racket going on downstairs?

I peek outside my blinds at the party going on down below, taking a quick break from the textbook sitting on my lap. All of my brother's friends are in the backyard having a grand old time, tons of beer cans littered around on the grass.

Some girl is currently running her fingers through my brother's blonde shaggy hair, his hand gripping firmly onto her ass.

Gross.

I told him we shouldn't have had this party - more like he shouldn't have had this party. I've never been the type to go against our parent's orders, and they strictly said no parties while they were gone for the weekend of their anniversary.

With the music blaring in my room, even with the windows closed, I let out an irritated sigh and slam my textbook shut. There's no way in hell I'm ever going to be able to study for this test with them being so loud.

Is it that hard to be quiet?

In just pajama pants and a tank top, I quickly rush downstairs and throw open the sliding glass door, eyes blazing as attention turns to me.

Ethan's eyebrows raise towards me, playing dumb as to why I'm so angry.

I snap at the sound system on our patio and instruct with my hands for him to turn it down since he wouldn't be able to hear me otherwise. I don't even know how our neighbors haven't called the cops yet honestly.

The music ceases immediately, an awkward silence falling over the party. "Yes, Maddie?" My brother asks, a devilish smile toying on his lips.

"I'm trying to study." I explain, but even when I say it I realize how much of a nerd I sound. Snickers erupt in front of me, and suddenly I begin to feel like an idiot for wearing pajamas down here.

Jennifer and Sadie, captains of the cheerleading squad, are looking at me like I have two heads in their short mini skirts and crop tops. My cheeks grow red, my gaze immediately falling to the grass at my feet.

"Why don't you have a drink?" Ethan grabs a beer from the cooler and passes one over to me. It's wet and cold in my hands, the object unfamiliar. "Maybe then you won't be such a bore."

Jennifer bites her lip to keep from laughing at my brother's corny joke, her perfectly painted nails clutching onto his bicep like she's afraid he'll leave her. He probably will. He's never had a girlfriend for a reason.

I hate the fact that Ethan is so popular. A year older than me, part of the football team, and clearly much more sociable. This has never been my thing. I don't like parties, and I don't like his stupid friends that think they're better than everyone else.

"Mads has always been a bore." Cameron Holden, my brother's best friend since kindergarten, arches his perfectly full eyebrow up, his green eyes blazing with humor.

If there's anyone I despise more than Ethan, it's Cameron.

Captain of the football team, man whore of the year, all of the awards go to him. He's so full of himself that it makes my blood boil.

Rather than acknowledge his presence, all I do is roll my eyes and turn back to Ethan. "I'm just asking if you can turn it down. That's it."

"We'll try to not be such a bore." Cameron winks and opens up his long, muscular legs wider in the patio chair he's sitting in, earning a laugh from Ethan.

I ignore the fact that his lap looks so inviting. I must not be the only one that notices because Sadie falls between his legs, hooking her arms around his neck.

Gross.

Although Cameron is a pretentious ass, I'm not blind to the fact that he's attractive. I understand completely what all of the hype is about. From his soft brown curls to those emerald green eyes... a girl could get lost in them.

"You want to join too?" Cameron looks down at Sadie on his lap, the feeling of anger pushing out all of the previous thoughts I had immediately.

That's why I'll never be interested.

"Cam, that's my sister." Ethan warns, but Cameron lets out a belly gut laugh in response, my stomach twisting up into knots.

"As if I'd ever go for Mads." He belts out, still laughing as he's talking. "Don't worry bro, she's like my sister too. I was just kidding."

I stand there with my fists clenched as everyone thinks I'm the funniest thing to joke about. I can tell Ethan is getting uncomfortable. He may tease me here and there, but he's not one to be deliberately mean to me.

"Alright." Ethan settles everyone down and looks over at me, his eyes softening slightly. "I'll turn it down. It's fine."

I turn around and slam the patio door behind me, anger coursing through my veins. How dare Cameron even say something like that? Who the hell does he think he is?

It's funny that he thinks I'm such a joke. Little do those cheerleaders know that he used to be a little nerd with braces and glasses in middle school. They weren't friends with that side of him. I was.

We grew up together. He was over at our house literally every weekend, and back then he was so... different. He was kind, he was funny, he was everything I wasn't.

From playing in the backyard to going out with my parents for ice cream late at night, my childhood was amazing because of him. He became like my best friend, too.

Then he got into high school and everything changed. He joined the football team and hit a growth spurt, and that short nerdy kid who was super into Pokémon became a muscular, tall popular boy. His braces came off, leaving him with a perfectly straight and white smile, and he got contacts to replace the glasses. It made the girls fall at his feet.

The more he got attention, the more he changed. He dragged my brother down with him, molding him into the asshole he had become. Now they're both the biggest man whores in the school. I wouldn't be surprised if they've run through every girl already in the senior class.

As I go back into my room and re-open my textbook, I let out a sigh and try to find the spot where I had left off.

I'm not a bore. Is it wrong to want to get into a good college? Is it wrong to make sure my future is set up?

I've dreamt of getting into Grand Canyon University for as long as I could remember. Arizona is so beautiful, and I love it here. I would be close to home, and to my family, and I would still be able to pursue a degree.

If I ever figure out what it is I want to do.

I mean, I do fun things... right?

When I'm not with my best friend Maya I'm.... reading? Watching television? Eating?

Oh, god.

Maybe I really am a bore.

I guess that's what hurt me the most. He's been so mean to me since he got popular. I used to like the nerdy kid. I used to have the biggest crush on nerdy Cam.

Now he's just... an ass.

Letting out another sigh of frustration, I peek behind my blinds once more to look back at the party. Cam is still sitting in that sexy way on the chair, the pair of sweatpants he's wearing hugging all of the right places.

The bulge is huge, and I gulp when the heat forms between my legs.

No. I snap internally at myself. Not when he's been such a dick to you tonight.

Sadie is still sitting in his lap, and my heart plummets into my chest when she kisses him. His large hands travel down her back, squeezing roughly onto her ass before he begins to suck on her neck.

I used to want more than anything for that to be me, but not with this version of him. I hate this version. I despise this version.

I tear my gaze from the bulge that's so evident from his hard-on, only to freeze when I see Cam's eyes meet mine through the window, a cocky smirk falling onto his face.

Oh fuck.