"And he... apologized?" Maya's mouth is hung wide open in shock as she listens to me explain last night's and this morning's events. "Cameron Holden? Are we talking about the same person?"

"He didn't come right out and say he was sorry, but he more or less said he was. I was in shock too. Believe me."

Perched on my bean bag chair, I watch as she holds her leg up and dips the brush she's holding back into the nail polish.

"That's weird." She shakes her head again, swiping at her toenail to put another coat on. "And don't take the bore comment too seriously. Ethan and him think anyone who doesn't party is a bore."

"It still annoys me." I pout, twirling my pink comforter between my fingers. "Jennifer and Sadie seemed to agree with them too."

"And?" She replies. "They're both bitches who think they're too hot for everyone. Are you really going to care about their opinions?"

"Well, no, but I don't want to be remembered as the girl who was a bore. I may try to do good in school, but I'm not trying to be a loser."

"You're far from a loser," Maya says. "You're just a loner."

"Oh, because that's so much better." I laugh. "Thanks."

Screwing the top back onto the nail polish, she flings it onto the carpet and wiggles her toes to try and get them to dry faster. "It's not a bad thing, Mads. You just like to stay in instead of go out. That's not always a bad thing."

"But to everyone else, it seems to be a bad thing."

"Everyone as in... Cam?"

She sends me a knowing look, and as much as I try to deny it she'll manage to get it out of me. She was the only person in middle school who knew I liked nerdy Cam, so it doesn't take rocket science to tell that I'm still into him.

The old him.

The nice him.

The guy that was downstairs in the kitchen this morning.

"Maybe," I mutter. "I don't know. I'm just tired of being that girl."

"So don't be." She shrugs as if it's that simple. As if I can magically transform into a different person.

"You know what? You're right!" I laugh sarcastically. "That's exactly what I'll do. I'll just stop being me."

"That's not what I meant." She rolls her eyes and grabs the remote on the floor next to my bed to turn on the television. "I just mean to try and be more outgoing. Just put in a little effort."

"And how can I do that? I don't know how to be like you, or Sadie, or Jennifer..."

"Did you just put me in the same sentence as Sadie and Jennifer?" Giving me a death stare, I can't help but laugh again.

"I'm not saying you're like them, I'm just saying that I don't know how to be pretty like you guys. I can't do my makeup or my hair... and I've never even been to a party before."

"So let's change that." She grins, a plan forming in her head. We've been best friends for years. I know her too well.

Rising up from my floor, she cautiously walks over to my closet -careful not to mess up her toes- and begins to look through my clothes.

"What are you doing?" I ask inquisitively.

"Picking out what you're going to wear to Kelsey's party tonight..." she trails off, letting out a disapproving sigh. "I think you're going to have to borrow something of mine though."

"Kelsey's party?" I wrinkle my nose up in disgust. "We hate cheerleaders. Why would we go there?"

"Well, I wasn't going to go! But you're the one wanting to learn how to be cool for Mr. popular, and going to this party will do just that."

"Are we even invited?"

"The whole school is invited." She replies. "Her parents are gone for the weekend I guess. She wanted to throw something big."

I look at my floor-length mirror that sits directly in front of my bed, analyzing the way my frizzy hair is going in a bunch of different directions. I look like a loner for sure. I look like someone that stays in bed and watches Netflix all day.

For once I want to be a different person. I want to be the Maddie that's outgoing. The Maddie that can be fun. Before I cared so much about college that it made my head spin. The Maddie before everyone got popular and I started to compare myself. The me I used to know.

"Okay." I agree, and Maya looks at me in disbelief.

"Seriously?" She asks. "I thought I was going to have to talk you into this. That was way easier than expected."

I'm not going to fight her on it. I'm going to look different. I'm going to prove to everyone that I'm not some goody-two-shoes.

I'm Maddie.

And I'm fucking amazing.