Dane

Mackenzie and I spend the weekend studying together in the library. I have a computer science test coming up, and she's nice enough to find her old exams for me so we can review them. I was wondering if Mackenzie was going to find our experience in the pantry, and me sleeping on her floor, awkward, but she seems her normal, focused self.

I've just arrived home when my phone buzzes. I glance at it. It's Henry. Even though I'm exhausted and not in the mood to talk to anyone, except Mackenzie, I pick it up.

"Hey."

"Dane!" Henry sounds excited. "I just wanted to call you to plan next weekend."

"Yeah, excited to have you here, bro." I'm having a hard time getting my tone of voice to match the words that I'm saying.

"I was thinking it would be really nice to meet some more of your friends, besides Noah. Even though we love Noah. What about Amy? I've still never met her."

I'm quiet, because I realize I haven't told Henry that I've broken up with Amy, and also because all of my friends are baseball guys. My team has historically not been the most accepting about gay men, and Henry is bringing his husband Jadyn.

"Amy and I broke up."

Henry is quiet for a long moment. "Oh. But you do have friends outside of baseball, right?" Henry asks, his voice slightly accusing.

"I--" I try to think of what to say. "Well--"

"Dane, come on, man." Henry sighs. "There must be someone."

Mackenzie's name presents itself at the front of my mind. "Well, there's one person, I guess." I feel bad even thinking about asking Mackenzie to take more time out of her busy schedule for me.

"Okay, that would be great. Even to just meet him for a meal?"

"I'll ask her." I say pointedly. "But she's really busy, so don't get too excited."

"I'm already excited." Henry tells me. "I'm going to text you some of my ideas. You sound tired. Go get some sleep."

I follow his advice and fall asleep at 8:30, despite Noah practically begging me to join a 'bonfire with the boys'. I tell him I'm really not up for it, that I have a test tomorrow, and that I didn't bail on the entire party this weekend, so they can't be mad.

My computer science test actually goes well. I'm shocked when I finish it. I text Mackenzie as soon as I'm out.

D: I think I nailed it.

M: Yay! I'm glad!

D: Still want to study together today?

M: Sure

M: See you at our normal time?

D: I'll bring dinner. Sandwiches?

M: Yes, please

I like the routine of studying that Mackenzie and I have fallen into. For once, I'm not behind in any of my classes. My grades are actually improving for the first time since I've started college, and not just in computer science. Being around Mackenzie is good motivation.

On Monday when we meet, Mackenzie looks stressed out of her mind. I set down her food in front of her. "What's wrong?"

"Just roommate drama." She tells me.

"Do tell."

"Kate gave Lea a key a day after Hannah met Lea. Hannah is pissed about it. My other roommate, Penny, isn't even around to join in on the debate. But Kate and Hannah refuse to talk to each other. And because I refused to take a side, Kate isn't talking to me either." Our house is never even locked, but I don't think that would be the helpful thing to tell Mack right now.

"That sucks." I say instead.

"Yeah." She sighs. "Tell me about your test. It went well?"

"It was super similar to yours, and one of the examples that you made up off the top of your head was on there."

"Nice." Mackenzie smiles, although she still looks really tired. We fall into silence as we start studying. The rest of the night is quiet, and despite Mackenzie barely talking, I still find comfort in her presence in the library with me.

Noah studies with us on Tuesday. We're joined by Hannah and the two of them spend most of the time flirting. Mackenzie looks mildly annoyed by this but doesn't say anything. At one point, we make eye contact and she rolls her eyes. I can't help my smile.

Wednesday, it's back to being just me and Mackenzie. It's almost 9PM and I'm pretty sure both me and Mack are almost at our wits end, we both have a ton of homework. Friday cannot come quick enough.

I'm excited for my brother to be in town for the weekend. He's still on my case about how I have no friends outside of baseball and the only baseball friend I let him meet is Noah. He's been texting me daily, but I still haven't brought it up with Mackenzie. I eye her, wondering how weird she'd find it to meet my brother and his husband.

"Mack?" She looks up from her computer, her eyes slightly bloodshot. She looks so tired that I almost reconsider asking her.

"Yeah?"

"My brother is in town this weekend--" Mackenzie nods. "I was wondering if you'd want to come to a couple meals with us? He always wants to meet people and the baseball boys are just--"

"I know." She inclines her head. "Of course I'll come." Mackenzie gives me the world's brightest smile. "I'd love to meet him."

"Are you sure?"

Mackenzie gives me a look. "Of course I'm sure."

"I just know you have a lot to do."

"I can make time to meet your family. I love meeting people's siblings." It occurs to me that Mackenzie is the ultimate girlfriend material. I can't help but think that I would just fuck her up. She deserves someone better than me.

"You're the best."

"You're going to pay me my hourly rate though, right?" Mackenzie winks and I roll my eyes.

"You wish." Her smile gets bigger.

We manage to crank out another thirty minutes of homework before Mackenzie groans and drops her forehead onto her laptop. She takes a couple of shaky breaths.

"Come on, Mack. I'll drive you home." I start packing my bag.

"No." She groans. "I've got so much to do."

"No, you're clearly exhausted. You should get a good night sleep."

"Dane." She whines.

"Mack." I tell her firmly. "You'll be more productive tomorrow."

"I hate when you're right." I smile because I know I've won.

I drive Mackenzie home and she asks me about my brother's plans. When I drop her off, she gives me another tired smile.

"Mack?" I stop her before she gets out of the car.

"Yeah?"

"I appreciate everything you've done for me this semester."

She blinks slowly, a small smile still on her face. "I know."

"Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Dane." She hops out of the car and I find myself wishing that I'd kissed her before she'd left. As if punishing me for these thoughts, my father chooses that moment to call. I'm tempted to not even pick up, but I know that will just pick him up.

I take a deep breath before answering. "Hey."

"Linda says that Henry is visiting this weekend." There's no greeting in any way. Instead, he sounds pissed.

"Yes."

"You better not let him distract you from practice." Without pausing, he adds, "Nothing should be distracting you from baseball."

"Is that what you called to tell me?"

"Yes. I thought you could use the reminder."

"Why?" I dread the answer to this.

"Your grades are going up. You should be doing the bare minimum. You should be passing, only putting enough effort in to stay on the baseball team."

"But I like--"

"I don't fucking care what you like." His voice is sharp and cold. I feel a small piece of me wither. "You should put as much energy as possible towards baseball. It's not like you're going to use a useless fucking degree anyway." And then he hangs up without saying goodbye.

I sit outside for a long time, just starting at my phone. My mind is a whirlwind. I love baseball, but I also love my biology classes. My major is my backup plan. I don't want to give up on learning because of baseball.

There's a soft knock on my window.

Mackenzie is standing there in a jacket and pajama pants. I roll down my window and look at her. "Are you alright?" She asks. "You've been sitting out here for twenty minutes."

"Just--" I gulp. "Talking to my dad."

"My question stands. Are you okay?" Her voice is soft, gentle, caring. Everything that I want to have.

My god, I want Mackenzie Brooks. My father would flip his shit if he knew a girl was distracting me from baseball as well.

"Yeah, sorry."

"I was just worried. That's all."

I don't even know what to say. I'm not used to people worrying about me.

She reaches through the window and squeezes my shoulder. "You should go home, get some sleep. Things will be better tomorrow."

"Thanks." I give her a small smile. She walks back to her house, stopping before she goes inside, watching me as I drive away. There's an ache in my chest as I leave her standing there.