Another chapter posted early. I have a little free time these days so decided to post earlier than scheduled. Hope you enjoy this. Please comment and vote. It inspires me a lot.

I rush to the bathroom and lock it. My hands tremble and my legs give out. I slide down the floor and pull my knees to my chest, breathing erratically. For the past two weeks, since I accepted Ethan's offer to come here, I have been worried about so many things but not even in my wildest imagination, I thought we will end up in the same bed and nearly have sex. My biggest fear has been the nightmares and panic attacks. Since the assault, I have been waking up scream in the middle of the night and having difficulty breathing after. I met a therapist just a couple of days ago and she suggested setting an alarm and waking up every couple of hours so I don't fall in a deep sleep. It seemed to work, but it also meant not getting enough sleep. I have been exhausted since I started this new sleeping pattern.

Yesterday night after the horrible dinner with Ethan's family, I had too much on my mind and I forgot to switch on the alarm. I don't know why but I didn't have any nightmares last night and slept peacefully after a long time. I thought I just woke up from a bad dream when I felt Ethan's hands and mouth on me. In my fogged brain, I thought the past three years was a long bad dream and I just woke up from it. The divorce or the assault never happened and we are still together. It felt like any other morning in Ethan's arms. Though a tiny part of me told me that it was not a bad dream, I ignored it and kissed Ethan. The bad dream made me feel so lonely and sad, and Ethan's kisses were making everything better. He always made everything better. When I felt his finger there, I was suddenly transported to the night of the attack and I realized everything did happen. Ethan did divorce me and I was attacked that night two weeks ago. Remembering the attack, I panicked.

I try to calm my breath inhaling through my nose and exhaling through my mouth as the therapist taught me. God, what the hell was I doing? For Christ sake, he has a fiance. He almost cheated on her. What does that make me? I never thought Ethan is the kind of person who will cheat. It makes me angry and sad at the same time. After a few minutes, I get my breathing back to normal. Once I freshen up, I slowly open the bathroom door and peek outside. Ethan is sitting on the bed with a cup of coffee. I don't want to have a conversation about what happened. I am still confused with Ethan's and my behaviour. But I can't stay in the bathroom forever. I take a deep breath and get out.

"I asked for the breakfast to be served in the room", Ethan says softly staring at me, no doubt trying to read me.

I sit at the edge of the bed and start eating. I am hungry but it's awkward to eat as he watches me like a hawk. I eat a piece of toast and I decide its better to skip breakfast. I place the plate back on the tray and start to leave the room. Ethan stops me and says

"I will go. You should eat. You haven't had a proper meal since yesterday's lunch". Then he leaves immediately.

Once he left, I finish my breakfast and spend the rest of the day avoiding everyone. Ethan too left me alone only sending food through Mr Lockhart. Mr Peter Lockhart is the manager of Lanai Island and he knows every nook and corner of the island. He gave me a brilliant idea to trek around the island and offered to prepare me some snacks to take on the trek. I have no intention of meeting anyone tomorrow as well but being cooped up in a room all day long was boring and brought thinks back to my mind that I was trying to desperately forget. So I decided to go on a trek tomorrow. Who knows when will I get a chance to be on a vacation again. When I spoke to Kate earlier, she also encouraged me to explore the island.

I slept early that night and woke up quite early the next day to avoid Ethan. When I am about to leave the room, Ethan wakes up and asks,

" Where are you going so early in the morning?"

"I am trekking around the island"

"What? No, you are not going"

"The party is after three days. I am bored sitting in the room all day. You won't even notice I am gone"

"It's not safe Amy"

"But, Mr Lockhart said there are no wild animals other than monkeys on the island. And the only people are the guests and the staff"

"You may get lost"

"I have to just walk on the beach. It's a small island. How can I get lost?"

"It all sounds easy. But the terrain is rough and you can't go alone."

I don't understand why he is being a jerk. It's the simplest trek. Mr Lockhart assured me there is nothing dangerous or difficult out there. I ignore Ethan and leave anyway. Only a few minutes in, I hear footsteps behind me. I turnaround and see Ethan running towards me.

"What are you doing?"

"I am coming with you. You are not going alone, Amy"

I want to punch him. I have never felt so angry before. All I wanted was a peaceful trek around the island and enjoy its beauty and he won't even let me do that.

"Whatever", I say angrily and walk faster ignoring him all the way.

It's a cloudy day and the tides are high. As far as I can see there is only water, clear blue water. It's breathtaking. It's almost noon when we reach a small rocky hill that blocks the beach on the other side. The only way is to climb over it. My feet ache from walking for a long time so I take a break. I spread my blanket and sit on it. Ethan joins me on the blanket and only then I notice he has not brought anything with him. He is wearing a black polo shirt, a khaki cargo and sunglasses. He looks devastatingly handsome in it which makes me lose my breath every time I look at him.

" Did you bring food or water?"

"No, I didn't want to leave you alone so I changed and rushed after you"

"I only brought a bottle of water. It won't be enough for both of us.", I say frustrated.

"It's fine. You drink. I will call someone to bring me some food and water", he says checking his pocket.

"Shit! I forgot to bring my phone. It's only an hour from here. I will go back to the mansion and eat".

"here, drink some. I am not planning to return till it gets dark."

We spend the rest of the afternoon not talking to each other but napping, swimming and eating the food I brought. As the sun starts to sets, it starts drizzling. We start back to the mansion by climbing up the hill.

"You said you are going to college. Where are you going?", Ethan asks. I didn't think he heard me that day. Apparently, he did and now he is using it to break the silence and start a conversation.

"I haven't decided yet. James gave me some brochures of the State Universities, I have to go through them.", I say. I need to spend only three more days with Ethan. Then, I don't think I will ever see him again. The chances of us cross path are like a needle in a haystack. But the very thought of never seeing Ethan again feels like a punch to the gut. I will miss him even though he is being a jerk to me these days.

"What course are you planning to take"

"I wanted to do Elementary Education before but now I am thinking of finance. It's easier to get a job in finance"

"I think you should do Elementary Education, it's more you. I don't think you can handle finance."

"Why not? I am good with numbers", I say annoyed. Why does he think he knows me? He doesn't know me. If he really knew me, he won't have just left me like that. He won't have abandoned me like my mother.

"It's just my opinion", he says softly. But I am furious now.

"I didn't ask for your opinion", I say grinding my teeth and stomping my way up the hill, trying to ignore him.

"When did you get all feisty?", he asks.

" You have a problem with everything I do. You have a problem with what I study. You have a problem with how I talk. If you hate me so much why did you bring me here?", I say and spin around to see his reaction. The sudden movement twists my left foot and I fall down. Ethan was quick to react and he catches me around my waist before I hit the ground. Ethan helps me stand up but as soon as my left foot touches the ground, I whimper in pain. It starts raining heavily now.

"Where does it hurt", Ethan asks examining my leg.

" Around the left ankle"

"I think you sprained your left leg".

" Give me your backpack and climb on my back"

"I can walk", I insist.

" Amy, it will only hurt your feet more if you put pressure on it. We will take shelter under the trees and I will call Mr Lockhart. He will send someone.", Ethan says sternly and lifts me on his back before I can protest.

Once we reach a big tree, he places me on one if it's thick roots. He lifts my leg and places it on the next root so it's elevated.

"Give me your phone"

"It's in the backpack"

Sitting next to me, he checks my backpack and my phone is dead. The battery must have run out. It's an old phone and the battery doesn't last long.

"This is why I said I won't let you go alone."

"I was just fine by myself. You made me angry that's why I fell"

"I said nothing wrong. You are feisty now. You never used to fight for yourself before"

"I finally realized I am alone in this world and I have to fight for myself and not let others take advantage of me"

"What do you mean to take advantage? Is this about what happened yesterday morning? You wanted it as much I did."

"You have a fiance for Christ sake. I didn't peg you for a cheater. God only knows how many times you cheated on me.", I say angrily.

Ethan moves closure looking furious.

"I never cheated on you. If anything, I was a fool who was crazy in love with you. But you just wanted my money, didn't you? There was no love. You played me good"

"If I played you so good, where are my millions? I won't be working 18 hours a day, living in a dump. You know what. I don't care what you think of me. I don't have anything to prove to you. Not my love or my character"

Just then a loud thunder strikes and I jump almost falling off the root but Ethan pulls me to him and says,

"No thank you, I don't want to hear another lie"

I hate him so much at the moment. What does he know about how hard it is to earn a living? What does he know about being attacked or having nightmares constantly? It's so easy for him to judge me. I hit him on his chest for putting me through all this. He was supposed to protect me and love. We were supposed to be together. From wherever he got the notion that I am after his money, he didn't check or verify. He took the first opportunity to drop me like a sack of potato. I hate him most for never looking back at me in the last three years. I continued to punch him and cry. It was like a dam was broken. All these hurt, anger and sadness came bursting out of me in the form of tears. I cried as rain continues to beat around us letting it all out for the first time in front of Ethan. As my sobs quiet down, I realize Ethan is holding me tight to his chest and saying softly to calm down

"Shhhh. Amy, calm down. Everything is okay"

I stop sobbing only when the sky turns darks still leaning on Ethan. The rain has finally stopped but I continue to shiver because of the wet clothes. Ethan pulls out the blanket from my backpack wraps it around both of us.

"You should go", I say. My voice is weak and hoarse from all the crying.

"I am not leaving you alone in the dark Amy. We will wait. Someone will come looking for us"

"Okay", I say as Ethan pulls me even closer and his body heat heats us both.

"I am sorry Amy. I didn't want to make you cry."

"Hmmm", I say and fall asleep leaning on his chest and wrapped in a blanket.

Even though I shouldn't, I like this moment being so close to Ethan. Even years from now, I will always remember this. These snippets of memories I have gathered over the years with Ethan help me get through difficult times even as remembering them hurts. It's high time that I let him go. But I couldn't. When would I ever stop loving him?